by Rolfe, Bill
“Lord, please help this boy, and take from me as you wish. I won’t tell anyone what you’ve done.”
Before his eyes could open to witness it, he once again missed a twinkle from the star’s glow. He returned slowly inside to check on Ryan.
He wondered how the boy’s fragile little body would survive the violent attacks. Daniel himself could barely stand due to the frailty of his own body but knew he had to act now. He put his hand on the boy’s forehead and closed his eyes. For an instant, the room brightened with the moonlight, gleaming as if it shone directly from the ceiling. A strong shock stiffened Daniel’s body and pushed him backwards to the floor. He was knocked unconscious and unable to wake on his own.
The crashing sound of his collapse woke Ryan. “Hello? Claire! Help!” He could see Daniel’s body lying on the floor motionless.
The noise through the floor had already awakened her and she was on her way up the stairs. Turning on the light, she saw Daniel on the floor, now shaking lightly. He was ice cold to the touch and she reached for an extra blanket to cover him.
In an alarmed state, she tried to assure Ryan, “Don’t worry, he will be okay!” She went quickly for the phone.
* * *
Daniel woke to find himself surrounded by familiar voices, but his eyes weren’t focused enough to recognize any of the figures at his bedside. “Claire, Claire!”
“Yes, I’m here, sweetheart. You’re in the hospital, and Dr. Abrams is here too.”
She dimmed the light over his bed to allow him to focus more clearly.
“Do you remember going upstairs? You were so worn down, you must have fainted. Was Ryan calling for me and I didn’t hear? I’m so sorry.”
“No, no, I had to go up.” Daniel remembered his promise of secrecy and paused. “I just wanted to make sure he was okay. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Dr. Abrams has a few things he wants to talk to us about later but, for now, just get some rest.” She pulled the bedsheets up higher on his chest to keep him from getting cold.
“Well, I’m up now, so let’s have it, Doctor,” he requested.
The doctor couldn’t remember another time he had struggled to present his diagnosis to anyone.
“Mr. Clay,” he began—he had been corrected in private about his earlier mistake with the patient’s name. “It is very difficult to tell at this point. I’ve never seen such a progressive case of disease, so we’re going to do a few more tests just to make sure.”
“Well, what is it? Just give it to me straight.”
“It looks as though you may have cancer, Mr. Clay.”
Time in the room stood still at this point. Daniel could faintly hear the doctor talking about biopsies and throat cancer, as well as swelling on his brain. The details were unimportant. His medical knowledge wasn’t sufficient to comprehend all of them. He could only take the news and stare blankly at the doctor, fearful of engaging Claire, in case his composure was lost.
“How long do I have to stay in here?” He now understood more than ever the coldness that could be felt within the hospital walls.
“I’d like to keep you until I can fully determine your diagnosis.”
“I think I’d rather be at home—at least there’s a view there.” He tried, unsuccessfully, for a smile from Claire.
“As soon as the tests are done, we’ll go home and move you to the room upstairs, for the view,” she responded.
“What about Ryan?”
Claire looked at the doctor, then again at Daniel. “Ryan’s not there anymore.”
“You mean…? Did I hurt him?”
“No, no. He’s just with his parents now.”
“Kind of a miracle, actually,” the doctor interjected. “He just stood up and walked out without his brace, probably in shock from the ordeal. I’m still running tests.”
* * *
With Brenda’s help, Claire moved some of Daniel’s belongings upstairs and removed all the unnecessary medical equipment. The room was as it had always been, just as beautiful, but more decorated with a cozy ambience and less institutional.
It was protocol for the ambulance to make delivery of a destabilized patient to their home. When Daniel arrived, he was thankful and apologetic for the efforts of his nurse.
“You shouldn’t have done all this. Thank you. It’s amazing.”
He crawled straight into bed, attempting not to expose how close he was to falling down. Growing physically weaker, he was mentally exhausted with concerns about his illness and how he might have developed it.
Claire was also in need of rest. She was working double shifts to be with him and had only slept an hour at a time during her breaks. She made him comfortable first as a patient then took to his side in bed as a partner. They both enjoyed an evening of much-needed sleep.
For the next couple of days, they talked and enjoyed plenty of rest. Claire took time off again, and Brenda stopped by a few times with household supplies. On the third night, she appeared with ulterior motives. Through the front door, she could see Claire sobbing in the kitchen. Brenda said she would take a turn upstairs to check on Daniel, allowing the younger nurse to take an emotional breather. Claire agreed and sat at the table, sipping her tea.
Brenda trekked up the stairs purposefully, taking one step at a time, carrying what appeared to be a black medical bag. Once she entered the room, she sat at Daniel’s side quietly, so as not to disturb his peaceful state. She laid the bag at her feet and reached in it to organize her surprise.
It had been almost forty years since she had used the instrument, but she played it almost every day in her mind. Seated next to Daniel, she woke him gently. He was too frail to speak but able to recognize his visitor and acknowledge her with a smile. After a few deep breaths, she closed her eyes and, with only a slight pause, began to perform.
Daniel was her first audience since the son she had lost. She played beautifully with slow and extended notes, exuding a melodic passion. The sound of the flute echoed throughout the entire house and soothed everyone within its walls. The large rooms and high ceilings held the music and cherished it as if it were being played in the finest opera house.
Claire sat in the kitchen with her cup held tightly between her two palms. Her eyes remained closed, and the tears stopped while she absorbed the healing sounds from upstairs.
Daniel kept his eyes closed too. His body stretched out flat then relaxed in a meditative position, head back and arms to his side, palms up. The music infused his soul as he returned to sleep.
Brenda removed the instrument from her lips and placed it back in its case. “Thank you for listening, Daniel—tonight and before, when I spoke about my life.”
After descending the stairs as smoothly as she had played, she reached the bottom and went through to the kitchen to find Claire, now leaning against the counter. They smiled at one another, and no words were necessary. Brenda turned and left the house to return home.
* * *
Though most of the test results were in, they were not conclusive, and Claire did not give Daniel the updates that she had received by phone. She could see how fast he was deteriorating. In her own medical experience, she had never seen such a rapid degeneration.
Their conversations grew shorter, as neither could bear the thought of the future. Time and health had passed too quickly to discuss anything but the present and what could be done to lessen each other’s pain.
Claire struggled with the thought of having him moved back to the hospital. His shallow breathing and delicate gestures troubled her. He was peaceful, though, as he stared out at the sky. She didn’t realize that he was searching for a certain star, to make his peace with before he could sleep.
His only other struggle was whether to discuss what had really happened, in hopes it could bring some comfort to her, but he remembered his promise and closed his eyes to fall asleep.
It was impossible to care for him as just a patient, but she tried to ease his fever with a cold cloth and kept th
e lights down low for his eyes. His coughing had almost ceased now, as his breathing was simply too weak to initiate any irritation.
After a quiet moment at his side, she kissed his nose and tried desperately not to drop a tear on his face. She headed for the balcony to cry alone and leave him in peace.
Standing in the night, weeping brokenly, she recalled the first time they met. She was grateful and only wished that it had been earlier in their lives and they could have had more time together. She remembered his pain in losing Isabelle and his joy in spending time with Matthew.
She slid down to the balcony floor and, with her back supported by the outer glass surface, sat facing up to the sky. Then she closed her eyes and bowed her head into her hands. After catching her breath, she spoke out loud in prayer.
“I have spent the better part of my life caring for people and will spend the rest of my living days doing so. But I can’t do it alone. I love this man with all my heart, and I plead for you to free him from disease and leave him with me to care for. Please, Lord. Amen.”
The star that Daniel always found was unfamiliar to Claire. It faded slowly into the darkness of the sky, without a flicker. Back over her shoulder through the window, she stared at his frail features. She could also see her own reflection in the glass and wiped away the tracks of tears that ran down her cheeks.
Returning to the room to join him at his bedside, she touched the cloth on his forehead to make sure it was just right. He was too deep in his fevered dreamworld to feel her wet lips touching his. After kissing him, she crawled into her side of the bed and fell asleep.
* * *
His restlessness awoke her. She couldn’t believe it was morning already.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, not expecting an encouraging response.
“Well, it’s been a while since I woke up in this state,” he teased, looking under the sheets. “I guess all this rest is giving me some strength back.”
Claire playfully slapped his arm, appreciating his wit. “Seriously, Daniel, how do you feel right now?”
“I feel pretty good, actually. Still tired but not as warm. I think I could eat something.”
His voice sounded much stronger than it had for the past couple of days. His eyes showed more life behind them.
“There’s not much food here, unfortunately, but are you okay to travel? Dr. Abrams wanted to see us again this week. We could go just for a quick bite and visit.”
“Ah, hospital food. Yeah, I guess it won’t hurt me.”
Claire was pleasantly surprised at his mood and glad to hear that his humor remained intact.
Their banter was lively on the drive to breakfast. Claire was alert to his noticeably absent cough. She looked over at him often. In the passenger seat, he studied the landscape and every detail as they maneuvered the roads. He was not like the ill figure she had been witnessing before. Nevertheless, she drove eagerly, anxious to arrive at the hospital as quickly as possible.
Daniel required no help to rise from her humble transportation. He got out first and walked around to take her inside by the hand. He still appeared a little delicate, but there was strength in his posture that she hadn’t seen for a week.
“You just have a seat and relax. I’ll fetch us some food and let the doctor know we’re here.”
Food was the last thing on her mind. She raced down the hallway to find her superior. Daniel sat in the bed and stared out the window, wondering what would become of him, and when he could return to his own bed.
“Daniel? Are you okay?”
He turned to see a boy in the doorway, a most pleasant surprise. Ryan stood with his parents, holding a bag packed with his belongings.
“Hey, buddy, how are you?” His voice still a little weak.
Ryan moved closer to Daniel. “Are you going to be okay? I heard you got sick.”
Daniel took a long pause to check him out, barely believing his strength in stature. There was no body cast, and he watched as the boy confidently set the bag down next to him.
“Yeah, I’m going to be just fine. You know how it is. I’m just in for a few more tests, and then I’m headed back home.” He tried to comfort his noticeably concerned friend.
“Well, I’m glad I got to see you again. I wanted to say thanks.”
“Hey, no problem. You can come out and stay anytime.”
Ryan lowered his gaze to the floor for an almost eerie pause before facing Daniel, “No. I mean thanks. For everything you did.”
A moment went by. Their gazes locked on each other with a silent understanding connecting them. Daniel wondered how the boy knew, or if he was still drained and confused. He didn’t ask any questions and smiled.
Bending down, Ryan picked up his bag to show off the newfound strength in his back. He smiled and left the room to rejoin his parents.
Daniel didn’t have much time to ponder the reunion before Claire and the doctor entered the room. She had given Dr. Abrams a hopeful update on Daniel’s condition this morning, but the doctor wanted to see it with his own eyes.
“Good morning, Doctor! What’s the special? Will you be taking my order today?”
The two ignored Daniel’s humor, and the doctor began a series of visual inspections. He then used two fingers from each hand to press around into Daniel’s neck and throat. Dr. Abrams was the first one to point out how much the lump appeared to have subsided.
He seemed more puzzled each time he touched his patient. Claire stared at his face in both concern and amusement.
“I’m ordering a whole new series of tests. I want A to Z on this one. I’m sorry, Mr. Clay, but I need you to hold off on food for a couple of hours.”
Daniel was disappointed but easily comforted by a smile from his nurse. He didn’t pay much attention to the conversation but could feel hope underlying it.
It was a long day filled with a progression of tests, each one leading to a request for another by the doctor. Finally, he said, “Mr. Clay, I’m sorry, but I need to keep you here until tomorrow. There is something going on that I have no answers for yet.”
Another night in the hospital would be frustrating for him, as he was now feeling better. He was able to converse with Claire and share more feelings, both verbally and physically. She was too afraid of disappointment to discuss his health but enjoyed at least talking about what they would be doing together in the future, regardless of the amount of time it would last.
He approached the difficult subject he had left back in the restaurant during their previous date: “You remember before, when I talked about New York? This is a beautiful place, Claire, and I know there are a lot of people you help here, but there are a lot of people in New York too. Just think about it. You know I have to return as soon as I can now, but I know I can’t go without you.”
It was only a night ago that she had thought this opportunity for her life had passed. She had no intention of letting it slip away now.
“So, what about the house?”
He gripped her hands tightly and kissed both of them.
“I’m not selling it anymore.”
He had made plans for it in his mind only moments before the conversation began.
Chapter 13
* * *
The couple shared a room in her ward and an evening of adolescent-intended board games that a local gift store had generously donated to the hospital. They sat eating their breakfast together after another good evening of rest and impatiently awaited the arrival of Dr. Abrams.
He came into the room with a sober expression that stopped Claire from enjoying the meal. Daniel didn’t appear to notice. Dr. Abrams approached Claire and glanced at Daniel expressionlessly.
Claire took the medical charts from her superior’s hand and read through the test results. Daniel tried to read her easier-to-comprehend facial expressions.
At first she appeared confused but then grinned slightly while flipping the pages, causing her patient to intervene.
“Well, what doe
s it say?”
“They’re normal! Well, not normal, but in range. Are you sure about this?”
The once-confident doctor appeared totally lost in self-doubt. “I’m not sure of anything anymore.”
“Should we run them again?” she suggested.
“It’s already been ordered. Mr. Clay, I’m not sure what to tell you. We’re going to need a little more blood and some samples, but you can go home afterwards, if you’re more comfortable there, to wait for the results.”
This pleased Daniel and his facial expression communicated his feelings to Claire.
“So, what’s going on with that house of yours?” the doctor asked.
Daniel stared back, fearful that his secret had been discovered or revealed by another patient.
“What do you mean?” he replied cautiously.
“I mean, if it’s for sale, my sister is a realtor and maybe she can help.”
Daniel felt relief flow through his entire body. His secret was still safe. He nodded to the doctor as he left. To Claire he announced, “I just want to go home and really share the bed together.”
She smiled with approval but continued to reread the charts.
* * *
It was a celebratory drive back to the house. The unscheduled testing had taken longer than expected. It was getting late but was still light enough for them to enjoy a walk to the water before dinner.
They stood together side by side with their toes nearing the water’s edge, staring out just feet from where they had shared their first kiss.
“I want to come back with you,” she whispered.
“I wasn’t leaving without you.”
Emotional fatigue hit them both at once and they turned to hold each other up, trying also to hold themselves together. Their foreheads pressed together and painless tears of bliss ran down their cheeks. They embraced for a few minutes and then walked back to the house, supporting each other for the short journey. They skipped dinner. Being together in bed was all that they both hungered for, and they collapsed in unison on the sheets.