That was not the message I wanted Edie to take from this story.
I frowned at Hodge, and he winked. “But either way, he wrote a damn fine story. Told the story right. And worked long and hard to get it.”
He clapped me on the shoulder. “I even got me a new robe out of the deal.”
Edie laughed with Hodge, and I chuckled along, relieved he hadn’t made me out to be a total asshole, though I did worry Edie still thought I was manipulative.
Hodge passed the time of day, making sure to tell Edie she was beautiful and if I didn’t behave, he was single these days.
It was nice, almost like we really were together. Edie was way too embarrassed to spell out that we weren’t an item, and I wasn’t going to volunteer the information. It would only lead to more flirting from the old rascal.
Once he’d meandered away, Edie turned a curious gaze my way. “So, which is it?”
“Which is what?”
“Did you go out there to help him because you’re a good guy who cares, or did you go out there to get a story?”
Shit. I knew she’d go there.
“Why can’t it be both?”
She frowned, obviously disappointed. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back under the shade of an awning outside a coffee shop, and faced her.
“The truth is, I went out there and I took some friends because I knew he could use some help. That’s why I wanted to do the story — column, really — in the first place. I like community journalism, to do stories that bring people together and stir up discussion on important topics. Things went all wrong with your story, I freely admit that. But I wanted to do your story for the same reason. To open up a dialogue about families and the people who — like you — succeed in the face of apathy.”
“Oh, geez. No wonder you’re a writer.”
I smiled ruefully. “Sorry.”
“You got a little sidetracked there. I asked about Hodge, not me.”
“Right. Well, the answer is, both. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t hope he might have a change of heart. But I went out there fully prepared for it to go either way. And like he said, I never asked him for anything. I let him come to me. If he hadn’t called and agreed to the story, that would have been that. I don’t force people into uncomfortable positions … usually.”
Edie turned to watch the tail end of the parade. I tried to decipher her expression, but it was merely reflective. Under the sun, her fair skin had already pinked up all across her shoulders, and I could smell the sunblock that hadn’t quite done its job wafting off her skin.
Unable to resist, I brushed a loose strand of hair off her shoulder.
She glanced at me, startled.
“You got some sun,” I observed.
She craned her head to look at her shoulder. “Just a little. Doesn’t hurt.”
“That’s good.” I paused. “So, what’s the verdict?”
She raised her eyebrows at me, while reaching back to adjust her ponytail. “Verdict?”
“Hopeless jerk? Irredeemable opportunistic journalist?”
Edie chuckled. “How about a jerk with potential? Or maybe just a good journalist who occasionally gets overexcited and goes too far?”
“Pretty generous.”
“That’s me. Caring, generous and forgiving,” she said in a haughty, self-important voice.
I grinned, way too happy Edie was giving me a break and showing me her playful side.
“Saint Edie,” I chimed in.
“Indeed.”
“I am humbled before such modesty.”
“As you should be, you materialistic sinner.”
“Sounds a little judgmental.”
Edie harrumphed. “Young Espinoza, do us all a favor and take a vow of silence.”
EDIE
That night, the fireworks show was nice. Like so many things with Jaime were nice.
We found a spot in the park, nestled between a handful of other couples who’d opted to watch the fireworks from a distance rather than fight traffic into the fairgrounds. The view was still great, and Jaime brought a thick quilt to throw down on the grass.
I sat down, cross-legged, and craned my neck back to check the sky. The show hadn’t started yet, but you could see a few glimpses of smaller fireworks being shot off around the city.
Jaime dropped down behind me, cradling me with his legs and arms. It should have been romantic, but it felt awkward, like we weren’t quite comfortable enough with each other yet for this intimacy.
You’d think kissing would be more intimate than sitting with a guy, but somehow it was easier to kiss him goodnight than to cuddle with him.
So far, our kisses had been pretty tame, getting-to-know-you type kisses. I kept waiting for the lightning to strike, as it had the night Nick gave me my first kiss. But maybe your first kiss was unlike any other. Maybe the excitement died once you’d experienced it.
“This okay?” Jaime asked, his breath skating over my neck and bare shoulder.
The wind had picked up a little, and with the drop in temperatures at night, I was regretting my halter top, so I was glad Jaime wrapped himself around me.
“Yeah.”
“Cool.”
He tugged me back against his chest, and I forced myself to relax against him as the bright colors lit up the sky.
We spent the next few minutes saying meaningless things like, “Oooh, that one’s pretty” and “I like that one.”
In the interval, I found my mind wandering to my morning with Nick at the parade.
I couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to be here with him. I was pretty sure there would be no lulls in the conversation. He’d be impressing me with his ridiculous “writer” descriptions of the explosions, or telling me some weird factoid he’d learned through reporting. Like the city had $5,000 less to spend on the fireworks display this year, or this was only the 10th year they’d ever had a fireworks show.
And when I thought of leaning back against Nick’s chest, with his arms crossed over my stomach, my heart fluttered traitorously.
I shouldn’t be comparing them.
For one thing, Nick had given me no sign our one kiss was anything but a spontaneous moment in which he’d taken pity on the girl who’d never been kissed. He’d even said something to that effect. For another, Nick had shown himself to be self-centered and vain since the day I met him. The more I got to know him, the more I realized he was a lot more than his flaws, but he definitely wasn’t as considerate as Jaime.
It was nice to sit with Jaime, even if we were kind of quiet. We weren’t always awkward like this, only when we got too close. We spent hours talking on the phone every week, and we both loved to frequent the bookstore and attached coffee shop. We’d each pick out a handful of books, and then tell each other why we liked to read the things we did, and sometimes even trade a book or two.
Jaime leaned toward books of art and photography; while I generally picked out literature, sometimes serious and sometimes fantasy or sci-fi.
I blamed myself, really, for our inability to move forward. I couldn’t seem to squelch this festering of feelings I had for Nick, and I didn’t understand why.
Yes, he was gorgeous. But Jaime was super cute, and tons of girls crushed on him when we were in high school. True, I’d never been as attracted to blondes. Every school girl crush I could remember had been on a little dark-haired boy. But surely I wasn’t that superficial. I prided myself on caring most about what was inside a person.
I did feel an attraction for Jaime, but it was mild, a sort of warm friendliness that could develop into something more. My attraction to Nick burned hotter. But that didn’t necessarily mean it was better.
“Edie?” Jaime’s voice drew me out of my thoughts. “What did you think? Pretty nice, huh?”
I blinked up at the sky, and saw the fireworks show had concluded while I was wandering through my murky feelings.
“Yeah, nice,” I agreed, pushing forward to stand up.
I watched while Jaime gathered up the blanket, and went to open the back door of his Jeep for him so he could toss it in.
He smiled at me, his pale blue eyes close. “Thanks.”
I smiled back, but it felt a little stiff.
As we each headed to our side of the car, I had the sinking feeling I needed to let Jaime go. If I couldn’t shake these feelings for Nick, if I couldn’t spark something hotter than friendship with Jaime, I had to break it off.
I’d give Jaime a chance, though. He was too good a guy to toss away because of an unrequited crush on a guy out of my league. I’d work to get us to the next level, and see how I felt then.
That resolved, I relaxed into my seat, and smiled as Jaime chattered about the fireworks show. For all my tension, he seemed at ease.
I slid a hand onto his thigh and squeezed. He glanced at me, then back to the road, and folded my hand into his. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, before settling it on my lap and returning his own hand to the wheel.
It all seemed very normal and affectionate. But watching his body language, I felt doubt creep in. It seemed, almost, like he’d taken hold of my hand so I wouldn’t touch him. He’d immediately moved my hand away and released it. But he could have just wanted his hand back for driving.
I was probably being paranoid, but I couldn’t shake the feeling I wasn’t the only one who’d been keeping their distance in this relationship.
I knew why I was … so what was Jaime’s reason?
***
Jaime walked me to my door, like always. But tonight, as he leaned forward for the customary goodnight kiss, I determined to resolve my inner turmoil. His lips brushed against mine lightly, and this time, instead of letting him quickly retreat, I grabbed his T-shirt and pulled him against me.
I pressed my mouth harder against his, lingering, not quite sure how to create the magic I’d experienced with Nick.
Jaime didn’t pull away, but he went still.
Unsure what to do now that I’d made my move, I began to panic. Shouldn’t Jaime be doing something? It seemed like I was kissing a wall — a soft, warm wall, but an unmoving one.
I parted my lips, an invitation, and slid my hands up his sides.
He tensed at the touch, and broke the kiss.
“Sorry,” he murmured, his eyes downcast. “I’ve got to get back. I promised I’d watch Mason for a while so his mom could go crazy with the fireworks.”
He grinned, looking more at ease. “She loves things that go boom. Always has.”
“Okay,” I said uncertainly. “I could have helped with that.”
“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll probably just go to bed over there. Mason should be ready to crash anyway.”
“Right.”
My chest felt tight, filled to bursting with unspoken doubts.
I hadn’t resolved anything; I’d only confused myself more. Was Jaime shy, or just not interested? I knew next to nothing about how to entice a guy.
Maybe Jaime met another girl, and didn’t have the heart to tell me. Being in a hurry couldn’t be the real reason he’d been so quick to end my weak attempt at a makeout session.
“Goodnight, Eeds.”
He put his palm against my cheek, his eyes softening as he looked at me. He seemed like a guy who genuinely liked me. But surely most guys would take the invitation to get physical with more enthusiasm.
As I slipped in the door, I couldn’t shake the feeling I was just looking for excuses. Something was preventing Jaime from getting too close. Exactly what that was, I couldn’t say. But I couldn’t suppress the sinking feeling my relationship with Jaime was already in its death throes.
“Home already?”
I lifted my head, surprised to see Nick approaching from the hallway. I thought he’d be down at the lake by now. He’d invited me, but I’d already made plans with Jaime.
Nick looked like he’d stepped out of a magazine ad, effortlessly gorgeous in board shorts, flip-flops and a T-shirt. No one dressed so casually should look so perfect, but he did.
“Thought you and Jaime had big plans tonight?”
Suddenly, it was all too much. I crumpled under the weight of my doubts about Jaime’s interest and my frustrating attraction to Nick.
“What’s wrong with me? Is there something about me that says don’t touch?” I demanded in a shaking voice.
My throat tightened painfully, tears a blink away. I clenched my jaw, struggling to hold them back.
Nick was there in seconds, wrapping his arms around me and pressing my cheek to his shoulder.
“God, no. What happened? Did Jaime say something to you?”
I shook my head, unable to voice my chaotic thoughts. Nick didn’t have that problem. Words tumbled from him.
“Talk to me, Edie. Do I need to go punch him? I will totally deck Jaime for you.”
I laughed weakly, blinking back the moisture clinging to my eyelashes.
“He didn’t do anything. That’s the problem.”
Nick leaned back, looking down into my eyes. I wanted to look away, uncomfortable with his searching look, but I got caught in that beautiful blue gaze and couldn’t get free.
“By anything, you mean …”
My face heated under his knowing stare. “I know I’m innocent, and kind of plain. I just thought it would be different. I thought he’d want me, you know? Am I … I mean, could you ever want a girl like me? Or am I expecting too much?”
I half expected Nick to make a joke to cheer me up. But his expression remained serious as his hands cupped my face.
“You’re not expecting too much. And yes.”
“Yes?”
“I could want a girl like you.” Nick dipped his head, bringing us closer together. “Just like you.”
His breath caressed my lips before the firm pressure of his mouth took over. My lips parted in surprise, and Nick’s reaction was entirely different than Jaime’s had been just minutes earlier.
He pressed closer, sliding his tongue along my bottom lip teasingly, before pushing into my mouth for a deeper kiss. His chest brushed against my breasts, sparking tingles that rushed through my body, and his erection pressed almost painfully into the soft flesh of my belly through our clothes.
The man knew how to kiss.
Every flick of his tongue and nibble of my lips teased me to respond. Every retreat increased my desire for more of him.
Gradually, I realized we were moving. Nick walked me backward toward the bedroom, his steps nudging me back while his hands steadied me.
I pulled back, glancing over my shoulder at the bed as we reached the doorway.
“Is this okay?” he whispered.
I swallowed hard, aware this was a turning point in my life. I could call to a stop to everything now. I could remain loyal to Jaime, despite my concerns. But if I were honest with myself, I’d wanted Nick for a long time. Since our first kiss, and maybe even before that. And Jaime really didn’t want me. His reactions tonight had demonstrated that.
I looked into Nick’s dark blue eyes and nodded. “Yes.”
His head dipped, his lips meeting mine once again, and I felt the fireworks exploding in my body, heat and sparks lighting up my skin as his hands slid under my shirt and explored. I’d hardly noticed the fireworks show tonight with Jaime, but Nick was creating his own explosive reaction, one that had my full attention.
“Wow,” I whispered against his lips as we broke for breath, and he smiled at me.
It wasn’t the cocky Nick smile I’d seen after he first wrote the column, nor was it his amused smile that appeared when he cracked jokes. It was heart-achingly sweet, spreading across his face and lighting up his eyes.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Wow.”
NICK
My heart hammered as I eased Edie’s halter top over her head and dropped kisses along her creamy throat.
Part of me couldn’t believe this was happening; another part felt as if it were inevitable. The more I got to know Edie,
the more I liked her. After that first kiss, which set me free of my weird romantic purgatory after my affair with Elana, I was hers for the taking. I just didn’t think she’d take.
I skimmed my hands up her sides and cupped her breasts over her bra, just the sort of plain practical number I’d expect from her. No sexy lingerie for this girl, not that it mattered. Whether she wore cotton or lace, Edie turned me on.
I couldn’t get enough of the silky feel of her bared skin or the little breathy sounds she made as my tongue flickered over her collarbone.
Edie’s hands clutched my shoulders, as if she needed to anchor herself against the pleasure of my lips, but she made no move to touch me anywhere else. Before I went further, I needed to know where the boundaries lay.
“What do you want tonight?”
Her brown eyes looked up at me, and I felt a burst of pride at the fog of pleasure in them.
She blinked. “What?”
“How far do you want to go?”
“Oh. Um. …”
Her cheeks blushed, and she looked away. I gently tilted her face back toward me.
“I want everything,” I admitted. “But I don’t want to rush you.”
“You’re not.”
As if to prove her words, she grabbed the bottom of my T-shirt and tugged it up, wrestling it over my head. I helped pull it off and reached around to unclasp her bra.
We both gasped as her soft breasts brushed against my chest.
And then I was lost.
I dipped my head to suck a nipple into my mouth, and she moaned quietly as I worshipped her breasts with my lips and tongue. She arched, pressing harder into my mouth and clutched my hair.
Somehow, we found our way into the bed, and I pulled off her shorts and underwear.
Then I leaned back to savor the view.
Edie was gorgeous. All creamy skin and long limbs. She had a pure, untouched sort of beauty. I almost hated to soil her with my horny hands.
“What?” she asked, looking self-conscious.
I grinned, unable to help the cockiness from oozing out.
“Just trying to decide where to start. Goddamn. You look good enough to eat.”
Earning Edie (Espinoza Boys #1) Page 15