“You should—”
The door behind her flew open and the overhead light flicked on, cutting Edie’s words short. Jaime stood in the doorway.
“Edie! Is everyone alright?”
He swept her into a hug, while she assured him all had turned out well.
I wanted to be furious with Jaime for interrupting an important moment, and for being the place Edie went when she needed help and comfort, but that was my fault more than his.
I turned when I reached the sidewalk, and cleared my throat. “Jaime, could I talk to you for a sec?”
He hesitated, exchanging a look with Edie. “Please,” I added.
With a nod, he stepped off the porch and Edie went inside with a brief wave and tired smile.
When Jaime reached me, wariness in his eyes, I took a deep breath and bit the bullet. I was handing out so many apologies these days, I should start my own Assholes Anonymous 12-step program.
“The way I see it, I owe you three apologies.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he didn’t speak. The clenching of his jaw revealed he had plenty of things he was holding back.
I appreciated his restraint.
“First, I sincerely apologize for outing you at that party. I didn’t mean for anyone else to hear me, but I was careless and I know it caused you pain.”
He nodded, and I continued.
“Secondly, I have to apologize for telling Edie I suspected you were gay. I’d like to say I did it because I was worried you were potentially leading her on, and that was part of it, but mostly I did it for selfish reasons. Because I care about her, and I didn’t want your relationship to stand in my way.”
“And the third reason?” he prompted, when I stalled out.
I heaved a big sigh. “I shouldn’t have tried to steal her from you in the first place,” I mumbled.
“What was that?”
I groaned. “I should apologize for messing around with her when I knew you were dating. But damn it, I really like her. So, it’s tough to apologize for trying to win her over. Still, I should have had more respect for her relationship and for you. So, I’m sorry for the way I handled all of this. I was a jackass.”
“Yeah, you were,” Jaime said harshly. Then his voice softened somewhat. “But you really care about her. I didn’t know that until the night of the party.”
He kicked at a rock, eyes downcast. “I’m still pissed you outed me, and I’m still dealing with the consequences. Carlos won’t even talk to me—”
“You’re kidding. Do you want me to say something to him?”
“You’ve done enough. I’d rather you just stay out of my life from now on.”
I winced. “Fair enough.”
I held out my hand. “I know I’ve done more damage than a simple apology can fix, but I am sorry. I hope someday we can get to a better place. I know you and Edie have stayed close.”
“And you want to be closer with Edie,” he said with a knowing look. “I get it, believe me. And if it makes her happy, that’s all I care about. You’ve been an asshat, but you might be worth training.”
He grinned playfully, and relief washed through me.
I’d never seen Jaime so at ease in his skin. He might not thank me for outing him, and it happened for all the wrong reasons, but I wasn’t sure I hadn’t done him a favor.
We said our goodbyes, and I headed back to the car. All the way home, the question hammered at me: Was she going to say, you should kiss me … or you shouldn’t kiss me?
Chapter 19
EDIE
I woke with only two things on my mind: Squaring things with my father — and with Nick. I wasn’t sure which one had my stomach squirming with nerves (maybe both), but I knew which one set my heart to leaping about like a drunken cheerleader.
Just thinking of that moment on the porch had me in knots. Should I kiss her, shouldn’t I kiss her …
It seemed surreal enough to be a dream now, and yet, no dream had ever made me feel like this. Filled me with hope and terror and love and still more nerves.
If I hadn’t been exhausted the night before, I wouldn’t have let Nick walk away. I would have chased him to the car and kissed him stupid. Or I would have poured out my heart — meaning I wouldn’t have to do it today. And if he said no at least it would be over and behind me.
But Jaime had interrupted.
I wouldn’t wish harm on Jaime, but his timing was awful enough I might have strangled him if I had been able to lift my arms.
As curious as I had been about what Nick might be saying to him, I crashed within seconds of reaching the bed.
My alarm went off, making me jump.
Despite the few hours’ sleep, I couldn’t stay in bed. I had things to do. Life-altering things … like piecing my family back together if I could, and facing the love of my life.
An hour later, I was dressed and in Nick’s parking lot. It wasn’t until I saw his empty parking space I realized that even though it was Saturday, a reporter probably couldn’t take the day after a tornado off work.
“Stupid!” I muttered, slapping the steering wheel and making my palm sting. “And you kept him out so late. The guy must be dead on his feet.”
Well, there was nothing else for it. I’d have to tackle Job No. 2. Check on Dad and stare down the beast otherwise known as Deborah. I started the car and headed across town to the motel Nick said they’d gone to last night.
On the way there, I gave myself a pep talk.
Don’t let her get to you, Edie. Just take your lumps. It’s not worth it to lose your dad. Just swallow your words and nod your head like a good little girl.
When Deborah opened their motel door, I tried to judge her mood, but I couldn’t place it. She wasn’t angry, but she wasn’t happy.
“Well, come on in,” she said, and stepped aside to make room for me to enter.
I walked into a small room dominated by a double bed. It was a fairly standard set-up, with a dresser across from the foot of the bed, a flat-screen television and a coffeemaker. I crossed the faded blue carpeting to the small desk and chair crowded into the corner.
“I’m glad to see you’re both okay,” I said, nervously toying with the bottom of my tank top and avoiding their eyes.
“You could have made an effort last night.”
Deb was her usual charming self.
“I did try,” I said tentatively.
Dad was more supportive. “Deb, you know that reporter said she couldn’t call us, and she asked him to check on us.”
Deborah’s mouth tightened, but she didn’t argue. I cleared my throat.
“I’m sorry I didn’t try again later in the evening. I thought you might be resting. And, um, Mom’s husband was hurt. So, I was at the hospital with her.”
Deborah sighed and shook her head.
“How bad is it?” Dad asked, real worry on his face when I looked up.
Of everyone in the family, Dad had never held a grudge. Not even I had been capable of that, I realized now.
I had been unhappy about the divorce, and even more unhappy with Deborah for a stepmom. I didn’t make it easy for her to like me.
“His leg was crushed by a car. I don’t know all the details, but he’ll have to have physical therapy. He should recover, though. It could have been worse.”
“That’s awful,” Deb said, sinking onto the bed next to Dad. I pulled the chair out from the desk and sat down too.
“Did Nick tell you, then, about us staying here?” Deborah asked, withdrawing her hostility somewhat.
I grabbed onto the olive branch, however slim, and ran with it.
“Yeah, he did. He promised to help me find out if everyone was okay, and he met me at the hospital. He was really great.”
“So, that’s where you went, hmm? When you left home,” Deb said. “You moved in with the reporter who wrote that terrible story about us. He’s your boyfriend now.”
I thought Deborah was being hypocritical, consider
ing she’d called him her favorite columnist and did a follow-up interview with him after I left home. She’d also had no trouble with him helping her last night.
Now, her tone seemed to be saying I shouldn’t have gone to him … not that I did, not the way she thought. Before I could sort out my feelings enough for a response, Dad jumped in.
“What? You’re dating a guy who lied to you? What are you thinking, Eeds!”
“Whoa!” I held up a hand, noting his face was already red and hoping to head off purple. “You were perfectly okay with him helping you last night—”
“That’s not the same thing, and you know it.”
I nodded again, reminding myself to stay calm and cool. “I know. You’re right.”
Deborah opened her mouth to yell at me and stopped abruptly. “You know?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“But if he lied to you …” Dad sounded uncertain.
“Don’t you get it, Paul? He didn’t lie to her. He was her boyfriend, and he felt sorry for her and wrote that story, and when we found out, she panicked and lied.”
Dad turned a hurt expression on me. “Is that what happened, Edie?”
It was the first time he’d looked to me for an explanation, and not just accepted Deborah’s words. I was grateful, and vowed I would handle it as maturely as I could.
“No. I didn’t know Nick the night he wrote that column. He really was a guy I met at a party. I didn’t know he was going to publish any of it.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Deb said.
“Let her finish.”
I clutched the sides of my chair. “Look, I was really angry at Nick. You guys, too. But I know I’m not blameless. I had a lot of pent up feelings about you missing graduation and my 15th birthday, and some other stuff. I should have talked to you about that. Instead, I let it fester and then vented to a stranger, and unfortunately that stranger was a reporter, and he printed it. But I can’t be sorry I met Nick.”
Deb snorted. “Especially now he’s your boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said evenly, and saw surprise in her eyes.
Why had she been so sure? Simply because he’d sought them out last night, or had he said something more? I resisted the urge to ask her and tried to finish this high-tension reconciliation.
“But I hope he will be soon. Because I love him.”
A silence fell in the room at my words. I chewed my bottom lip nervously and waited for the next hit. It didn’t take too long. Deb was quick on her feet.
“I’d hope so, since you’ve lived with him all summer. Otherwise you’d just be a who—”
“Deborah!” Dad interjected sternly.
She snapped her mouth shut, but her eyes conveyed the words easily enough.
“Not that you asked, but Nick and I haven’t been sleeping together,” I said tightly. “I moved in with him because I needed a place to stay, and I hoped he’d think twice before doing that kind of column again. But we became friends … and more, I hope. But like I said, we’re not dating yet.”
“I’m sorry,” Deborah said stiffly. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that. It was obvious last night he cared about you.”
That should have reassured me, but care was such a general word. Nick probably cared about all his friends. I wanted something stronger.
“Well, I’m glad you’re both okay, and I’m sorry about the things I said that night. I hope you can forgive me, and we can move forward from here.”
I turned to Dad. “I need you in my life. I don’t want there to be this rift between us.”
“Me too, honey,” he said. “I thought we needed space, but there’s been too much of that. I miss you.”
I smiled and stood to hug him. He patted my back, and when I sat down again, he cleared his throat to catch my attention.
“What is it, Dad?”
“Are you sure you want to date this Nick? You don’t have any experience with boys, and he’s older, and starting out with a lie …”
I bit back a smile. “I’m sure.”
“But—”
“He’s earned my forgiveness.”
“Still, are you sure you’re ready?” Dad tried again.
“Yes.”
“But—”
“Paul, she said she’s ready!” Deb burst out in exasperation, and I couldn’t resist a small laugh. “She should count herself lucky to catch a guy like that.”
“A guy like what?” Paul asked suspiciously while I tried not to be offended Deborah thought I was lucky to catch Nick.
Did she think this was the 1950s or something? I planned to start a career and provide for myself. I didn’t need a man to take care of me. But I wanted this one, and I had to acknowledge that as poor as Deb’s word choice was, I would feel lucky if Nick returned my feelings.
“He’s good-looking, smart, has a good job. And he’s obviously very sweet to be checking all over town on Edie’s family during a tornado.”
“That’s true,” Dad said grudgingly.
“She’s right. I’ll be lucky if Nick wants to start a relationship with me.” I stood up. “Speaking of … I need to try to track him down and have a talk. Are we okay?”
Dad smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. I don’t know when we’re leaving here, but come by the house and visit in a few days. If you want to move back in …”
He trailed off, and Deb pursed her lips. I could tell she wanted to object, but she held her silence.
“I’ll come by for a visit,” I said. “As for moving back in, I don’t think that’s the best idea if we want to rebuild our relationship. It’s probably time I learn how to be an adult.”
I gave a strained smile, and Deb nodded approvingly. “I agree.”
“Well, if you change your mind, you always have a home with us,” Dad said, sounding dubious about my newfound independence. I smiled more freely.
“Thanks. I’m gonna take off, but let me know if you guys need any help with cleanup.”
“Oh, we will,” Deb said ominously.
But she actually smiled at me as she opened door. “That Nick is a looker. If you get hold of him, hold on tight.”
“I’m planning on it.”
***
I spent the rest of the day alternating between cruising Nick’s parking lot and calling his office phone.
I always just missed him.
By 5 p.m., I broke down and called his cell, and an hour later I texted him to plead for a meeting. I’d already borrowed Jaime’s car half of the day and I couldn’t keep doing it, especially because I didn’t have the money to reimburse him on gas if I wanted to eat properly during the coming school year.
So after exhausting my resources, I stewed around his house in the late afternoon and evening.
“Wow, if this is what love looks like, I’m glad you didn’t fall for me,” Jaime said wryly.
I picked up a pen from the table beside the sofa and threw it at him.
“Shut up! I’m going crazy because I can’t talk to him. And if you’d waited 5 more minutes to open the door last night I might not be like this right now!”
I’d already plied him with 20 questions about his little chit-chat with Nick the night before, but Jaime played it coy. He told me Nick apologized for outing him, which was a huge relief because I didn’t want to hurt Jaime by going into a relationship with Nick. As for other details, Jaime just shrugged off my questions or distracted me, which wasn’t tough to do today.
“Oh, so it’s my fault you’re a crazy woman?”
“Yes!”
He laughed at me, and I huffed.
“Just wait, Jaime. You’re gonna fall in love, and when you do I’ll be waiting to mock you.”
“Ha. As if I’ll ever meet anyone.”
“You will.”
“Won’t,” he said petulantly.
“WILL.”
“Won’t—”
“Oh my God, can it!” Jaime’s younger sister, Crissy, yelled.
>
She’d been trying devotedly to watch her reality TV shows with overly made-up teen hussies while Jaime taunted me.
“Just take Jaime’s keys and go before I kill you.”
I looked to Jaime, and he gestured over his shoulder. “By the kitchen door—”
I was out of my seat and headed for the door before he could finish.
“Can I come watch?” he called out. “I love a good romance!”
“NO!” I shouted without turning around. Snagging the keys from the hook, I slammed out the door and ran for the car.
Watch out, Nick. Ready or not, here I come ...
NICK
I sat down in front of my laptop, intent on writing my column after a day spent chasing tornado aftermath stories. But my mind was blank, or actually, that wasn’t right. It was too full, spinning with random tidbits of everything that had happened over the course of the day.
Tanya had called for me to come in early — just a few hours after I’d dropped off Edie and stumbled into my apartment in a daze, too tired even to take off my clothes before collapsing facedown on my bed.
I’d spent my lunch break napping in the back conference room, on a too-short sofa, before going back to work.
It had been a tough day. Talking to people whose homes had been destroyed, or had lost someone they loved — we’d tallied 10 deaths so far — was about the most depressing thing I’d ever done. And over and over, my mind went back to how close Edie had come to losing one of her parents.
At some point during the chaos, Tanya pulled me aside to tell me management had decided against cutting another staff position after the tornado demonstrated we needed everyone on deck. They were also going to keep my column but dial it back to twice a month instead of weekly. I didn’t fight it. Somewhere along the line my priorities had changed, and I cared a hell of a lot more about fixing my personal relationships than I did about selling my editors on a weekly column.
At the end of the day, tired as I was, I’d wanted the comfort of home.
“Tony, you brat!” Cyn shouted in the hallway, and I rolled my eyes. Why did I think I could work here?
Earning Edie (Espinoza Boys #1) Page 26