by Megan Ryder
The tenderness of the motion, the sudden rush of comfort overwhelmed her and she sagged, boneless against him and let everything go, for the first time in what seemed like forever. The world seemed to slow down around them as she sobbed her pain but Dylan never moved from her side, never rushed her. He remained a steady force, his steady hands rubbing up and down her back and arms, patiently supporting her, offering her tissues periodically. When her tears had finally slowed to hiccups and occasional gasping sobs, he eased her back and tilted her head, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking the strands behind her ears.
He settled the blanket around her shoulders and wordlessly walked out of the bedroom. She clutched the edges of the blanket around her, pulling them close, shivering at the loss of his body heat, wondering if this was the moment he decided to bolt for safety. She strained to hear what he was doing but she was too congested from crying to hear much of anything. A few minutes later, he came back in, a damp washcloth in one hand and a mug in another.
He wiped her eyes with the cold cloth, the ice cold a shock to her heated skin, but it felt so good against the swollen flesh. He plumped the pillows and settled her against them, then handed her the mug. “I thought some tea and honey might help your throat.”
She cleared her throat and said, “Thanks.” The raspy sound hurt and she winced.
He nudged the mug toward her lips and she sipped it experimentally, tasting tequila. Her eyes flared in surprise.
He grinned. “Alcohol helps too.”
He settled himself on the bed next to her and laid his arm across her shoulders again. Instead of fighting him, she sighed and relaxed into his strength. They sat there for several long minutes as she sipped the tea and savored his quiet stability. Finally, between the tea, the blanket and Dylan, the shivering stopped and she didn’t feel like a raw exposed nerve, pulsing for everyone to see. She laid the empty mug on the end table and grabbed a tissue, blowing her nose one more time, although she doubted it would be the last time.
“Is this why you didn’t want me to hang around today?” His voice was a quiet rumble against her ear.
“It’s part of what I do, Dylan. Most people don’t understand.” She snuggled closer to his warmth, feeling drowsy after the tequila and emotional breakdown.
“I could have been there for you, could have gone with you. Tell me you let Lucy go at least.” His tone was even but she detected a hint of anger deep inside and possibly hurt.
She snorted. “Lucy would be the worst one. She doesn’t understand rescue at all.”
“I don’t think that’s entirely true.”
She peered up at him. “Lucy ratted me out, didn’t she? I told her not to say anything. Where is she?”
“She’s staying with Lindsey and Sadie tonight and she was worried about you. Actually, I was about to head over here when she texted me.”
Savannah bolted straight up in bed, the blanket falling off her shoulders, fear and anger shaking off the lethargy from a few minutes ago. “You gave Lucy a key to your house? We have to get over there right now.”
Before she could bolt from the bed, he held her arm in place. “Relax. She took your key and she promised no parties or any people over.”
Savannah knelt on the bed, and faced him, her heart still thumping at the thought of what her sister could do to his house. “She explicitly promised that, in those words?”
He frowned, doubt starting to creep into his eyes. “Yeah, I think so. Why? Besides, Lindsey is there. Lucy didn’t really need to go over but it seemed like she needed a place to go for the night.”
Savannah sat back on her heels. “Great. Your party sister and my party sister. This is going to be a great night.”
He drew her back to the pillows, willing her to relax. “If it will make you more comfortable, we could call them, but I don’t think that’s necessary.”
She sighed and sagged against him. “It’s your house. Besides, I’m too tired to play babysitter tonight.” She closed her eyes and relaxed.
“Tell me about today,” he asked, after a long pause, then he exhaled. “Damn. I swore I wouldn’t ask.”
She opened one eye and peered up at him. “It’s okay. I can’t keep every dog I rescue. If I keep them, I take away a spot from another dog who needs a home, and that dog may not get the chance. When I first met you, I had five dogs here. I gave up four dogs that day. I hadn’t had a chance to add to them since I took on this very demanding extra job for this high maintenance baseball player who expected me at his house all the time.”
He shifted on the bed uncomfortably. “Do you mean I prevented you from rescuing a couple of dogs?”
She leaned back and laid a hand on his cheek, tilting his head toward her. “I didn’t mean it like that. I have other fosters who take in dogs too. I have to be careful when I take in multiple dogs to ensure they all get along. Carl was a tough case when I got him.”
He moved on the bed, getting more comfortable and stroked a hand down her hair, the gentle motion soothing her raw emotions. “Tell me about him.”
She laid against him, resting a hand on his stomach as she sighed into his touch. Now she understood why her dogs loved being petted so much, why Sadie went into ecstasy when Dylan came home. His hands were truly magic. She told him about her gentle giant, Carl, who came in from an abusive situation, so sick from multiple wounds and pneumonia and heartworm positive. She wasn’t sure he’d survive. He was scared of everyone and everything but there was something in his eyes, something that pleaded with her to give him a chance. She saw his loneliness, his fear, and his utter hopelessness and couldn’t turn away.
She had kept him the longest, mostly due to his illness and not being able to hand him off to a family quite yet, but also because she had gotten attached.
“Why now? Why not keep him?”
“This young couple has been coming to the past three adoption events just to see Carl. They love him and will be a great fit for him. Dylan, I can’t keep them all.”
“You don’t keep any of them.” He pointed out.
“I healed him, body and soul, and now it was time to let him go. That’s my role, Dylan. That’s what I do.”
“You don’t need to find all of them homes. They could stay with you, one of them could.”
She was already shaking her head. “No, I can’t get involved. If I take one, then I’m taking a spot from another dog.”
“I think you’re afraid of getting emotionally involved but, honey, you already are. You care so much and do so much good and I get that you have to protect your heart but maybe you’ve protected it too much, not letting any love in?”
She jerked back from him, barely able to make out his face in the rapidly dwindling light. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you telling me that I don’t care about my dogs? I’m fucking raw tonight from caring about my dogs and you’re going to lecture me about it?”
“No, I’m not telling you that at all. In fact, I think Carl slipped in under your defenses. I’m wondering if you shouldn’t have kept him instead of giving him up.” He kept his voice even, which only served to piss her off even more.
She reared back and glared at him. “Just because you did a nice thing tonight does not give you the right to judge me.”
“I’m not judging you. But, considering how you lectured me about Sadie when we first met, basically bullying me into keeping her, I have a right to cry bullshit when you’re full of it.”
“Is that how you feel?” She surged to her feet, swaying slightly from exhaustion and the overwhelming emotions.
He swung his legs off the bed and also stood, grabbing her arms before she could storm off. “No, wait. Savannah, you’re clearly miserable without him. I just wondered why you couldn’t keep him. Why you insisted on getting rid of him? I just don’t understand and I want to. I’m not judging.”
She glared at him, then sighed, too tired to truly have this fight. “When I first got involved in rescue, I volun
teered with other groups and shelters and I got sucked in every time. You see how easy it is. The big eyes, the soft bellies. They know how to worm their way into our hearts. And when we see such horrible abuse, it breaks your heart on a daily basis. Rescue chews you up and spits you out unless you’re strong. One of my mentors told me that I had to stay firm. Have compassion and sympathy but remember to help who I can and not get too attached. Every dog that stays with me is a dog I can’t rescue.”
He nodded, a grim look on his face. “What’s your next move?”
“I go to the shelter and find a couple more dogs who need homes and bring them home. That’s another dog who won’t be euthanized because I could give up Carl. He’s going to a good home. I saved him, like I saved others, so I can save more.”
He tugged her close and ran his hands up and down her back. “I’m sorry it hurts so much. Can I do anything?”
She inhaled the sexy masculine scent and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Stay with me tonight. The bed gets so lonely.”
“Anything.”
As they settled into bed, Dylan curved around Savannah, his hand on her stomach protectively, she relaxed for the first time in days, since she had heard Carl had a family. Her muscles slowly loosened and, just before she drifted to sleep, she whispered, “Thank you for being here.”
He kissed her lightly above her ear. “Always.”
As she tumbled off the cliff into sleep, she wondered if she’d be able to give up the last stray she had collected and feared giving up Dylan would gut her more than any of her four-legged canines would.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Savannah woke up to the most incredible sensation of Dylan between her thighs, his tongue dancing across her wet flesh and the pressure building. His silky hair brushed her soft skin as she writhed against him, but his hands held her firmly in place driving her over the pinnacle quickly as she came with a cry. He soothed her with kisses, plunging a finger deep inside, curving to hit a sweet spot that made her jerk and cry out again, the sensation almost too intense to bear.
He peered up at her and grinned. “Good morning, sweetheart.”
She panted. “I like waking up this way.”
“Let’s see if we can make it even better.”
He twisted his finger and added a second one, and she arched, almost bucking him off, clenching tightly around him. He withdrew and drove his fingers forward again, mimicking the actions of his cock. He leaned forward and lashed her clit with his tongue and she gasped. He smirked and circled his lips and sucked hard and her back bowed off the bed as she climaxed hard, almost dislodging him from his spot.
When she came back, he was over her, pressing into her, steadily, eyes fixed on her, his jaw clenched and tense. He gripped her legs and bent them toward her stomach, opening her up further, leaving her more vulnerable to him, hitting her so deeply. She moaned and gave herself up to him, feeling him drive into her over and over until he came in a hoarse shout, forcing another climax from her.
He rolled off and got up to dispose of the condom. He padded back to the bed, and tucked her close to him, pulling the sheets over them. He idly traced circles on her stomach as their breathing returned to normal. Finally, after several minutes, their muscles relaxed and she leaned into him.
He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder. “How are you feeling?”
As if his words had brought back the events of the previous day, she stiffened against him but he refused to let her go.
She took a deep breath but no tears came. “I’m okay, I guess.”
But deep inside, in that secret chamber in her heart, there was a deep hollow place that had been gouged out, torn out and stomped on never to be filled again, or so she feared. Not for the first time, she wondered if she had made a mistake, been too focused on the goal and blind to her needs and to the needs of the dogs, all in the interests of staying true to the mission, whatever crap that was. Doubt reared its ugly head and it looked an awful lot like Carl the last time she saw him, in the backseat of his new family’s car, looking bewildered as to why he was leaving with them and not her.
With a sob, she tore herself away from Dylan and sat on the edge of the bed, burying her head in her hands.
Dylan sat up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I know I did the right thing. I did what I had to do.” She turned and stared at him. “Tell me he’ll be okay, that I found the right family for him.”
She caught a glance of a startled look on his face before he gathered her in his arms. “Of course you did. You’d never let Carl go to anyone unworthy.” He rubbed his hands up and down her bare back, soothingly.
She looked up at him pleadingly, seeking a reassurance that she knew he couldn’t really give her. “You understand why I did it, right? It’s what we do.”
He hesitated, doubt in his eyes, and looked away.
She pulled back, a chill running up her spine that had nothing to do with the cooler air. “You don’t understand. You think I was wrong.”
“It’s not for me to say.”
His reply was cautious, noncommittal and pissed her off even more.
She stood, hands on her hips. “I’m asking for your opinion. Do you think I was wrong?”
He sighed and swung his legs around to a sitting position on the edge of the bed, hands clasping the mattress. “You’re right. I don’t understand and I do think you were wrong. I don’t see why you couldn’t keep him.”
“It’s my job. Sometimes tough decisions have to be made. You know that as part of a team, someone has to make the tough calls. You make those calls on the field every day. Your team looks to you to keep them focused and help them win. If I let emotion cloud my judgment every day, we’d be overrun with dogs and they’d never have a family of their own. Does that make sense to you?”
He pursed his lips, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation but nodded. “It’s a slippery slope. I understand that. But there had to be a better way.”
She pasted on a firm face, wishing she felt more confident inside. “Well, it’s rough at the beginning for everyone but it’s for the best. He will settle in with his new family and they’ll do great. I have full confidence.”
Dylan nodded. “Okay, well, I have to head to the park for an afternoon game. See you tonight?”
Dylan took a quick shower while Savannah made him breakfast. The conversation was a bit awkward, despite the emotional connection they had shared the night before. The argument that morning had colored that connection, both pulling back, whether for protection or self-preservation. At least when he left, he seemed comfortable with her decision. Once he’d gone, she was alone in the quiet house, no claws on the floor, no growls, no barking. She had made the right decision. Dylan had agreed with her.
If only she could convince herself that easily.
Dylan drove to the ballpark, disturbed by the events of the previous evening. When he’d heard that she’d given up Carl, he was shocked. Holding her through the heartrending sobs, his own heart broke into a thousand pieces and he would have done anything to have prevented that pain for her. He was ready to drive to wherever Carl was and bring him back, rescue him, make sure nothing ever happened to him again.
Then to find out that she willingly gave up the dog, well, it boggled his mind. Heaviness settled in his chest, an ache growing and spreading throughout his core as he identified the emotion.
Betrayal.
She had accused him of being cold and unfeeling when she first met him for trying to give up a dog he barely knew. A dog he found on the edge of his property. A dog to whom he had no connection. Did he regret keeping Sadie even as he swore he was only fostering her? No, he couldn’t imagine his life without her.
But how could she give up Carl, a dog she nursed from the brink of death, who looked to her as if she were the dog bone goddess? And if she could give him up that easily, what did that say about her connection with Dylan?
; They had made no promises to each other. She had resisted dates with him, resisted anything more serious. Maybe she didn’t want a connection with him. Was it possible she saw him as a project, a foster family for Sadie and nothing more? At the end of the season, they would go their separate ways, with no one hurt. Except, he would be hurt. He hadn’t wanted to get involved with anyone, especially not during the season. But she had snuck under his skin, burrowing deeply into his heart and soul until she was a part of him.
He had thought they might have a future together but now he had to wonder if she would give him up too? And did he really want to know?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dylan popped up from behind the plate and stormed out to the mound, fury pounding in every step. Cody turned his back on him and stalked to the back of the mound, cursing and punching his mitt after the massive homerun that cleared the bases and put the Knights down three to nothing. The rest of the infield started to come in but Dylan waved them off. He tried to get in front of Cody but the younger man moved. Finally, Dylan checked him hard with his shoulder and got in front of him, in his face.
“What the fuck is going on, Patterson? I’m your goddamn catcher and you’re avoiding me.”
“I’m fine. Just having trouble getting into the rhythm today,” Cody mumbled. “Back off.”
“Not this time. I saw your face. You’re hurting. Fucking talk to me.”
Cody whirled and got in Dylan’s face so fast, Dylan stumbled back a couple of steps before recovering. “What, so you can tell me to fucking suck it up? To take it for the team? To stop being a pansy-ass whiner?”
“What the fuck, man?” Nick came jogging in hard and fast from second base, getting right in between the two men. “Now is not the time and place.”