by L. A. Casey
Aideen was silent for a few moments before she said, “You have got to tell him how you feel, Kay. You will be miserable if you don't.”
I knew that, I lay awake at night sick with the thoughts of it, but I couldn't say a word to him.
I wouldn't.
“He is so happy about movin' into the new house and to be movin' forward with our relationship... I don't want to ruin that for him.”
Aideen furrowed her eyebrows at me when I looked back up at her and locked onto her concerned gaze. “If you don't level with him, eventually there won't be a relationship left to ruin,” she said, her voice stern.
I was motionless as I sat before Aideen and stared at her with unblinking eyes.
“I don't mean to be harsh,” she started. “But how long do you think it will be before you start to resent Alec for leadin' your life for you?”
I didn't speak, I just sat on the floor and stared.
“You're an independent woman, Kay, and you like being one. I love Alec, I do, but if he doesn't stop decidin' everythin' for the both of you he will lose you.”
I was surprised when my eyes welled up and hot tears fell from my eyes and splashed onto my cheeks when I blinked. I quickly reached up and wiped the tears away, but it was too late, Aideen saw and was on the floor in front of me reaching her arms out and comforting me with a hug.
“How long have you been feelin' like this?” she asked me.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and dropped my head to her shoulder. “A good while,” I admitted.
Aideen sighed as she swayed us from side to side for a few moments.
“I'm havin' nightmares too,” I whispered.
Aideen froze, then after a moment she pulled back from me and stared at me with sad eyes.
She swallowed. “What are they about?”
I sniffled, “Everythin'. Darkness. The Bahamas. Storm gettin' hurt. Just... everythin'.”
I burst into an uncontrollable sob and it must have shocked Aideen who flinched. She regained her composure and quickly pulled me back into a hug. She swayed and hushed me until my sobs became mere sniffles and my eyes ran dry.
“You need to talk to someone, Kay,” Aideen whispered.
I gripped onto her tightly. “I am. I'm talkin' to you.”
Aideen sighed and gave me a tight squeeze.
She said nothing further and I was grateful for it because if she said anything else there was a strong chance I would have gone into detail and told her everything that was going on inside my head. I couldn't let that happen, no good would come from releasing those demons.
It had been thirteen months since I left Darkness and all those horrible people behind me, and as far as anyone could tell I was fine. I appeared fine because I had myself in check, but Aideen saw a glimpse of how fucked up I really was about my past. Now that she knew I had nightmares she would push it until I told her everything. It was bad enough I told her about Alec because now she wouldn't rest until I spoke to him about how I was feeling.
“I'm fine,” I said and cleared my throat.
I forced myself to breathe so I would calm down and stop sniffling, and when the tears stopped I pulled back from Aideen and gave her a small smile. I could tell she wasn't buying it though.
“I'm pissed that you have been strugglin' with this for awhile and you're only now tellin' me what's wrong. Your mental health is important, unload everythin' onto me if it'll make you feel better,” she pressed.
I waved her off. “We can talk soon, I promise... I just want today to go by without thinkin' about all the crap that’s built up in me head. Okay?”
Aideen wasn't happy but she nodded her head anyway.
“Thank you,” I said and gripped onto her hands.
She gave my hand a squeeze then said, “Wait, you're cool with gettin' married still though, right?”
I remained silent and Aideen gasped.
“You aren't?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don't know.”
“Are you gettin' cold feet?”
“No, I'm just sayin' that marriage could be different than datin'. I mean who is to know what could happen? Disney never did a follow up on Cinderella—like, what happened after the shoe fit? Did they get on? Did they get divorced? We'll never know.”
“Keela... are you really worried your future marriage to Alec could go south because you don't know how Cinderella and her lad ended up after they got married?”
Was I?
“I don't know,” I admitted.
“I do. They lived happily ever after, it says so in the end credits of the film.”
I rolled my eyes. “You're a very strange person.”
“Says the woman who just compared a Disney film to her future marriage.”
Oh God, she was right.
I groaned, “Maybe I'm losin' me mind.”
Aideen snorted, “You lost it long ago, sweetheart.”
I sat up and glared at Aideen. “You aren't helpin' me, you know?”
“I was just your shoulder to cry on, I've helped plenty.”
I laughed. “I need your help, not emotionally though. Physically.”
“You mean you didn't call me here to unload on me? Then why did you call me?” she asked.
I was grateful she was changing the topic.
“I need your help to start packin'. We're movin' today and I've done nothin'. Literally nothin',” I groaned. “I was writing so well the past two weeks that I put it off and now it's movin' day and we're aren't movin' ready.”
Aideen blinked her eyes. “You want me to pack?”
Did she listen to a single word I just said?
“Yes, I want you to help me pack!” I stated.
“Pack up your apartment? I thought you needed 'help',” Aideen said whilst using her fingers as air quotes around the word help.
“Why the air quotes?” I asked, bemused.
Aideen huffed and lowered her arms. “Because I thought you meant the alcohol kind of help, especially after what you just told me. I kind of assumed it would be the hard stuff kind of help.”
I stared at my best friend and for the billionth time wondered why I continued our weirder than weird friendship.
“Alcohol kind of help?”
“Yeah.” Aideen grinned. “You know, I help you get drunk.”
I shook my head.
How this fool was employed as an educator to children I would never know.
“It's half ten in the mornin'.”
Aideen shrugged. “It's five o'clock somewhere.”
“There's somethin' wrong with you.”
Aideen groaned. “Don't judge me, term started back on Monday and the kids are drivin' me insane already.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You teach second class kids, they're all cuties.”
Aideen growled, “Those eight year olds can be animals, do you hear me? Animals! I caught two boys forcin' another boy to eat fuckin' glue while givin' him a wedgie yesterday. They're evil, I'm tellin' you.”
I laughed. “Find a career that doesn't involve kids then.”
“No!” Aideen gasped. “The angels outweigh the devil spawn ten to one. Besides, I like imparting wisdom on the next generation.”
Wisdom. Ha.
Those poor kids were destined to jobs as strippers and drug dealers as long as they remained under Aideen's care.
“I know you're thinking something bitchy, so I'm gonna say fuck you before I forget.”
I snorted. “You're the strangest person I know.”
“You pronounced coolest wrong,” Aideen teased.
This girl!
I couldn't help but laugh. “Can you be serious?” I smiled. “I need you.”
Aideen exhaled loudly, “Fine, where do you want me?”
“Face down, arse up.” I smirked.
Aideen burst into laughter and seconds later a bark rang from my bedroom.
“It's nice to hear you too, you fat—”
“Aideen!” I cut her o
ff.
Aideen laughed. “I wasn't goin' to say anythin' bad to him.”
Ha ha. Bullshit.
“Yeah,” I laughed, “and I'm Beyoncé.”
Aideen raised her eyebrow at me. “You don't have the arse to be Beyoncé.”
“Then I'll get some of Bronagh's arse—she has enough to spare.” I grinned.
Aideen cackled at the same time laughter started up outside my apartment door. A few seconds later someone knocked on the door. I got up and opened my door without looking through the peephole.
I knew who it was from the laugh.
“Hey, what're you two doin' here?” I asked and greeted Bronagh and Branna with a hug.
Bronagh fist bumped me and said, “Alec called us and said you needed help with packin' so here we are.”
I leaned against my front door and smiled. “Thank you, you're both brilliant.”
Branna rolled her neck onto her shoulders and said, “We know, now let's get to it.”
Ready to work.
I liked it.
I chuckled and closed my door only to yank it back open when a thud sounded against it and something, or someone, yelped. I widened my eyes when Ryder Slater hunched over in front of me and groaned in pain. He was holding his forehead and hissing. I panicked and placed my hands on his back.
“I'm so sorry, Ry!” I gushed. “Are you okay?”
“He's fine,” Branna stated, waving him off. “He already has a damaged brain, nothin' else will increase his stupidity by much.”
Ryder straightened up to his full height and hissed at his woman, “Bite me.”
Branna snapped her teeth at him making Bronagh and Aideen laugh.
“I'm fine, Keela, thanks for your concern,” he said, glaring in Branna's direction.
Branna wasn't paying him any attention so Ryder strode over to her and wrapped his arms around her. He lifted her into the air and she yelped with surprise. Ryder proceeded to spin around in a circle then and Branna screamed.
“I'm sorry,” she squealed. “Stop spinnin' me!”
I was terribly confused as to what was happening so I looked to Bronagh, my face quizzical enough to make her laugh.
“He does that when she is bein' bitchy for no reason,” she explained.
He spun her around in a circle?
I blinked my eyes. “And it works?”
Bronagh nodded. “She gets motion sickness so it straightens her attitude out when he does it.”
I shook my head. “They have a weird relationship.”
Bronagh nodded her head. “Dominic just tells me to piss off if I'm being bitchy to him.”
I burst out laughing. “Alec won't tell me in so many words, he just glares at me a lot and broods in silence. His silence screams what he is feeling though.”
Bronagh smiled. “That's our Alec, he wears his heart on his sleeve. Poor lad.”
I snorted and looked back to Ryder who sat Branna's feet back on the ground and held onto her shoulders until she got her bearings and stopped swaying like she was about to fall over.
“Is the bitch gone?” he asked her.
Branna growled, “Just about.”
Ryder snorted and kissed the crown of her head and hugged her to him. I saw a small smile quirk at the corner of Branna's mouth as she put her arms around Ryder and hugged him to her.
“Love you,” she mumbled.
Ryder grinned. “I love you, too.”
Things were silent for a moment until Aideen made a heaving sound.
“Puke. Could you both be any cuter?” she asked Ryder and Branna.
Branna grinned. “Yep, would you like a demonstration?”
Aideen scrunched up her face and shook her head. We all chuckled and then us girls jumped with fright when someone burst into my apartment.
“Morning!”
I swung around and pressed my hand against my chest where my heart was pounding away.
“Omigod!” I gasped.
Bronagh and Branna yelped, “Kane!”
“You fuckin' bastard!” Aideen bellowed then stormed over to Kane and thumped him right on the chest. “You frightened the bejesus out of me, Slater. Don't bloody do that!”
Kane looked down at Aideen then to his chest and lifted his hand to rub away the pain that radiated there thanks to Aideen. He smiled when she shoved at him trying to hurt him once more. He grabbed her arms, spun her around and pressed her back into his front. He still had ahold of her hand so for the moment; he had her pinned against him.
“Nice to see you too, Ado,” he purred into her ear.
She growled, “Let. Go. Of. Me.”
Kane chuckled but did as she asked.
Aideen spun around and gave him the finger before she moved and stood behind me. I wanted to chuckle at her—he could easily get her if he wanted to but she thought having me between them somehow made it impossible.
“I didn't mean to scare you, I thought you heard us coming up the hallway,” Kane said and shrugged his shoulders apologetically.
I looked to the empty space behind him.
“Us?” I questioned.
Kane looked behind him and sighed, “Dominic?”
Nico popped his head around the doorframe and smiled. “Hi.”
I snorted, “What are you doin' out there? Come in.”
Nico stepped into my apartment and scratched behind his head. “I heard everyone scream so I waited until you all took your anger out on Kane for scaring you before I showed my face.”
I laughed while Kane glared in Nico's direction.
“Thanks, bro.”
Nico smiled. “Anytime.”
I shook my head at the brothers then beamed. “You came to help us pack, too?”
Nico nodded his head. “Alec is parking the moving truck downstairs, he got a huge stack of boxes with the truck too which is cool.”
That was lucky because I didn't even think of boxes to pack everything into.
Man, I was so unprepared for this.
Today was going to be a long day.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered as my stomach burst into butterflies. I dropped my duvet back onto my bed in shock. I came in here trying to get a start on packing but any thought of packing left my mind when I saw Alec.
His long hair was gone. He had a buzz cut on the sides of his head, but the top was longish and pushed to the back, but some strands hung down on his forehead. I loved his long hair, but this cut allowed his stunning face more viewing time.
“You don't like it?” Alec winced.
The fucking opposite.
“You look so hot that I have butterflies,” I admitted.
Alec raised his eyebrows. “Really?”
I nodded my head. “Alec... seriously. You're unbelievably hot.”
I had to sit down on my bed so I could take all of him in.
I slowly scanned his sculpted body from head to toe. He was dressed in black jeans, a white fitted t-shirt and a thick unbuttoned grey cardigan that I got him from River Island last week. He had on black Timberland boots and I could smell his aftershave from where I was sat. It was effortlessly casual, but he made the look something to gush over.
It felt like the first time seeing him, and I couldn't believe how gorgeous he was.
I couldn't believe he was my fiancé!
“Are you going to cry?” Alec asked, then laughed.
The bastard.
I quickly covered my face with my hands and shook my head.
I was crying, and I was embarrassed because of it.
“Kitten,” he chuckled.
I kept my hands on my face and shook my head, again. “Feck off.”
I heard his muffled laughter, then his footsteps, before I felt his hands on my thighs.
“Look at me, my lovely,” he murmured.
I dropped my hands and opened my eyes.
Oh, Christ.
He was even hotter up close.
“Why are you so stunnin'?” I asked.
Alec smirked.
“Why are you only now noticing?”
I growled at his teasing.
“It's still me, I'm still your Alec,” he said and brought his face closer to mine.
My Alec.
Mine.
“I'm so lucky,” I whispered.
Alec scoffed. “Please. The reaction you just gave me is how I feel every time I look at you.”
“Stop it!” I screeched and covered my face again.
Alec burst out laughing and grabbed at my fingers. “Give me your mouth.”
I lowered my hands and let his mouth seek out mine.
I lifted my hands to his shoulders then slid them upwards. For a moment I was saddened when my hands brushed over the buzz cut, but my insides clenched when I gripped onto the longer part of his hair. It was nowhere near as long as before, but I could still knot my fingers in it and that was good enough for me.
I allowed myself to get lost in his kiss, and barely registered that I was now lying down, and Alec was on top of me, pressing me down into our mattress. I was so wrapped up in him that I also didn't hear our bedroom door open.
“What are you both—oh, for fuck's sake! Can you not wait until later?”
I pulled away from Alec's mouth and screeched.
I wasn't naked and neither was Alec, but I felt like we were because the moment was personal and intimate.
Alec pressed his forehead into the space of mattress next to my head.
“Kane,” he growled. “Go. Away.”
“No,” Kane retorted. “You woke me up to help pack your shit, so leave your girl alone and come help.”
Alec snarled, “I'll kill you if you don't walk away.”
“And I'll sit on you if you don't leave this room,” Kane snapped back.
I couldn't help it, I laughed.
“Later,” Alec murmured in my ear then kissed my cheek.
I held onto his arms. “Promise?” I murmured back as he stood up and pulled me to my feet.
He growled down at me and angled his face to kiss me again, but Kane was there to put a stop to that too.
“Don't even think about it.”
Alec whimpered, “I hate you so much.”
I snorted.
He turned then and dove on Kane who yelped, “I'm sick! You can't hit me.”