by Mia Ford
I thought that perhaps, I had successfully cut off my nose to spite my face. As aggravating as being with Johnathan was, it was nowhere as terrible as being lost in the wilderness with no food, water, or foreseeable plan shelter.
At this moment, I realized that I thought I would be at the ranger’s station by dark. Being that I was so angry with Johnathan, I had convinced myself that his estimation of it being a day’s journey from the cabin was completely wrong.
Great! I thought, my wishful thinking is going to be what gets me killed.
I rolled my eyes, shaking the negative thought out of my head and tried to focus on a more positive use of my time.
Okay, it’s getting dark, so I need shelter… I thought, looking around, hoping to spot an unoccupied cave or otherwise useful natural structure etched into the mountain, since I didn’t have a tent and I was incapable of creating my own shelter in my condition.
Without my ankle, or the impending darkness, I probably would’ve had a shot, but with both components against me, I wasn’t that stubborn.
Sure, but you had to be that stubborn when you left the cabin! I chastised myself, growing even angrier and more upset when I didn’t see any shelter-like structure.
Damn… I thought, feeling a nervous knot forming in my stomach. I didn’t like the idea of being out here all by myself. I realized then that anything could happen to me and no one would even know.
Another thought also plagued me; my last known whereabouts were with Johnathan.
What if he is blamed for doing something to me? I knew it wouldn’t be hard for the tour guide to lie about what happened up on the mountain. Johnathan could get blamed for everything.
Johnathan’s haunting words played back in my head: “You’re up here, all alone, with only me and the dog, so it’s all well and good, but the moment you get back to your perfect suburbia, it isn’t the fucking guide that tried to rape you, it’s the goddamn mountain man that used you and betrayed you.”
As angry as I was at him, I certainly couldn’t let something like that happen to him. So, I decided that, for both my sake and Johnathan’s, I needed to keep going if I was ever going to make it to the ranger’s station.
So, I picked myself up and continued in the direction down the mountain, still holding out a sliver of hope that the station was closer than even I thought it was now.
Suddenly, though, I stopped, and my heart leapt with excitement. In the distance, a little way behind me, I could’ve sworn I heard Jake barking. I stopped to listen, but I didn’t hear it again.
I felt my heart drop as I dismissed the thought of being rescued, pressing forward, while I allowed my pride to get the better of me.
Chapter 14:
Johnathan
Watching her hobble away from me, trying not to look as though she was in pain was one of the hardest things I had ever done.
The fact that I had also done it to myself didn’t help my guilt, but I was far too prideful to stop her.
Now, it was me, with my back stiffened and my posture tight, wishing I could go with her, but forcing myself to fight the urge.
I stared after her until she had nearly disappeared through the thicket.
I ground my teeth in anger and shook my head, calling Jake back immediately after he attempted to follow her when she disappeared.
“She doesn’t want us,” I insisted, knowing that I was only lumping myself in with Jake because I knew I couldn’t face the truth that I had completely driven her away. I was given multiple opportunities where I could’ve done things differently, but I always fell short.
So, instead of owning up to my mistakes, I stubbornly turned back toward the cabin. After all, I told myself, if she wants to try her luck in the mountains by herself, that’s her prerogative. I tried to convince myself that she should find the ranger’s station soon and then I won’t matter to her anymore, though I didn’t completely believe it. I figured eventually, I would be able to convince myself that this was for the best and I could get back to my life of solitude.
Yet, after walking a few paces in the direction of the cabin, Jake stopped abruptly and whined, as though he just realized where I was leading him.
“What?” I moaned, not wanting to have to handle a pigheaded dog in addition to all this other sit.
Nevertheless, Jake positioned himself stubbornly between the cabin and the direction that Carrie had taken.
“No,” I insisted, snapping my fingers, and motioning back toward the cabin, “Let’s go home.”
Jake didn’t move.
“Come, Jake!” I commanded, this time with a much more authoritative tone.
Jake whined and grumbled, stomping his feet as though he was a child having a temper tantrum, before whipping his head in Carrie’s direction.
“No. Come!” I yelled, which yielded the same result.
I groaned, now angry by his insubordination.
“The second she finds that station and makes it back to civilization, we’re both in her rear-view. I hate to break it to you, buddy, but her loyalty is like every other woman…Worthless,” I hissed angrily, though he is trying to convince himself of this, more than the dog.
Jake snorted impatiently.
“Okay, fine. We’ll stay here. You want to test me? Good. Great,” I retorted in a belligerent fashion, plopping down on the ground, trying to give Jake the impression that we were at an impasse and I wasn’t going to budge.
Jake lay down on the ground and whined staring at me with his huge, deep brown eyes.
“Don’t give me that look,” I hissed, “You’re being a jerk dog. Jerk dogs don’t get to look like that.”
The two of us stayed there, glaring at one another for a long while. Every time I tried to speak, Jake would moan and snort, generally having a tantrum.
A few times, I contemplated leaving his ass, but I didn’t because I knew he was right.
I shouldn’t have let her go out alone and every time he made a scene, I was reminded of how much of an asshole I was being.
As we were sitting there, I couldn’t help but be reminded of literally every bad thing that could happen to her while she was out there alone, and no one would ever know.
You know, if something does happen to her, it’s your fault. I thought at one time, with Jake’s piercing gaze only solidifying the thought.
What if the guide finds her, wandering all alone? Goddammit… I thought, as rage swelled inside of me, knowing again that it would be my fault for letting her go out all alone.
“She wanted me to leave her alone. She didn’t want me, and I don’t blame her,” I grumbled to Jake, “I was an ass. I wouldn’t even say those things to you and you don’t even understand me. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t want me going after you either if I acted like that.”
The dog simply whined his protest and continued to stare back at me, without blinking, just judging me and all my bad decisions.
“I know you like her, Jake, but you don’t seem to understand. Humans are innately flawed. That’s why I like you. You’re a dog. You are loyal to me and I am loyal to you.” I narrowed my eyes, “Which is why I’m out here this long, waiting for you to get off your lazy ass and come back home with me.”
The dog gave a small harrumph and whined but didn’t move.
Eventually, Jake’s guilting got the better of me. I kind of knew it would from the start and once I conceded, I was pissed that I had waited this long.
“Okay, fine. You win, you asshole. Go find Carrie,” I instructed and at the sound of her name, Jakes head popped up and his tongue fell out of his mouth with excitement.
“Yeah,” I insisted, throwing my hand in the right direction as I got to my feet, “Let’s go get her.”
With the confirmation that I was willing to go along with him, Jake leapt to his feet and took off in full-on sprint.
“Wait for me!” I yelled as I took off behind Jake.
Thankfully, for this situation, Jake is a loud and messy tracker. He bar
rels through the wilderness like a bull in a china shop, barking the whole way. This usually means that I can track him easily, even if I am far behind him.
The massive dog loves to run and is always extremely excited at the prospect of tearing through the woods.
He can be in the worst mood, but a run can make him feel better. Right now, I could tell that he needed to run; both to track and to relieve the stress that the fighting had placed on him.
For such a massive dog, he hated confrontation and right now, I could tell that he was really hurting.
That seemed to be my mantra lately and everyone I met was eager to inform me of that.
Between the two of us, it didn’t take us all that long to catch up with Carrie, considering she was slower due to her leg.
Jake caught up with her first but waited for me patiently.
When we found her, she was sitting on a log, looking around the clearing with a sense of distress.
I commanded Jake to keep his distance, as I didn’t want to argue with her anymore. I told myself that once we found her, I would ensure she was safe, without making myself known, unless I needed to.
However, now that I had found her, seeing the distress she was in, noticing that darkness was creeping in and knowing that she would never make it to the ranger’s station before dark, I immediately wondered if I should step in.
After all, she still is injured. I thought, trying to make a case that I could use to justify my actions, but regardless, my pride won’t grant me the satisfaction.
So, Jake and I remained in the shadows, hoping that she could figure out her own way.
Chapter 15:
Carrie
I was seriously starting to freak out now. I had continued walking until I felt like my leg was going to fall off if I took another step and was no consumed by complete darkness.
I cursed myself, knowing that I had gotten turned around and I wasn’t even sure I was heading toward the station anymore.
While it was obviously down the mountain, the darkness made it easy to vary down the mountain in a completely different way, leading me even farther away from my destination.
Again, I rested on a nearby log I had to feel around to find. I knew that I should be getting firewood together to keep the animals away, since I had nothing to cook, but after trying my best to summon the energy, or the willpower, I concluded it was no use.
I tried to think of a way to ensure, if I kept walking, I would eventually find the ranger’s station, but the logical part of me told me that if I continued, I would certainly get lost.
Without food or water, I was running out of time. Every second counted and if I spent the energy I had left going in the wrong direction, it was almost inevitable that I would succumb to the elements.
Once again, I thought about what Johnathan had said and I wished I had never left that damn cabin.
With all these negative thoughts swirling around inside my brain, I shivered, realizing that even though it was still the tail-end of summer, the mountains grew extremely cold at night.
So, I thought about trying to start a fire, but the darkness of the surrounding woods was daunting and by this point, my ankle was pulsing, even while I was resting.
The pain was starting to intensify, sharply stabbing up my leg and I prayed I hadn’t reinjured it. I hoped to God that it was simply a matter of overworking the leg, because if I hurt if further, the pain would only intensify. This would slow me down more and I couldn’t survive that.
I heard cracks and the splintering of wood around me and I nearly jumped at every noise. Mentally, I was freaking out, trying to focus on the source of the sounds, though the darkness didn’t provide any answers.
“It’s just the noises of the wild,” I reminded myself, in hardly more than a whisper, in case I was wrong, and something was watching me. I swallowed hard, “Remember, you’re in the middle of the woods, on the side of a mountain, all by yourself, there are bound to be noises…” Again, I gulped. I had thought talking myself through the situation would make everything better but unfortunately, hearing the craziness of my situation spoken aloud made me feel exceptionally worse about my odds of survival.
I groaned, feeling defeat starting to encase me like the darkness and dropped my head into my hands.
Yet, as soon as I did this, I heard a noise in the woods that I couldn’t explain away by the wilderness. It sounded like footsteps.
Oh God… I thought, as my stomach dropped. The first thing I contemplated was what I would do if it was an animal, but the second possibility was even more horrifying. I froze and was nearly instantly brought to tears at the idea that the guide had found me. Oh God… I thought again as I bit my lip and hampered my breathing.
I listened for any other sounds, looking around for a weapon.
I couldn’t see anything and even if I did, it was idiotic to think that I would be able to fend off an attacker. Between my injured leg and malnourishment, I was as good as useless, which made me hope it was an animal that had found me.
At least if I was mauled to death, there was a possibility it would be quick. If the guide was stalking me, there’s no telling what he was planning to do with me and I had no interest in finding out.
By now, I was shaking but the cold had far less to do with my reaction than it did previously. Now, I was far more afraid than anything else, but knowing I couldn’t run, my curiosity got the best of me. I had to know who was out there as soon as possible, if only to ruin the consistent torment of the unknown.
“Hello? Is anyone there?” I called, as my voice cracked.
After speaking, I heard a rustle in the bushes and I braced myself for whatever or whoever was about to show themselves.
When the shadow of an animal leapt out of the bushes, I felt my heart drop. However, it didn’t take more than a second to hear a familiar bark, before feeling a wet tongue licking my face.
“Jake?” I asked, relieved as I hugged the dog close to me.
As I pet him, while my heart started to settle into a normal rhythm, he continued to kiss my face and snuggle against me, clearly happy to see me.
A few moments later, a familiar human voice broke through the silence of the mountainside.
“Jesus Christ, dogs never do what you tell them to do, especially this one,” Johnathan insisted as he walked through the bushes, holding a bundle of firewood in his arms.
My heart started to pound once again, but this time, it wasn’t from fear. I was relieved and excited to see Jonathan, thankful that he ended up following me. I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done if he had taken my word and decided not to follow me.
Although, I tried to pretend like I wasn’t happy to see him, since I still wasn’t particularly happy with him. Yet, I wasn’t going to be mean enough to make him go away…at least not until after he built a fire.
“So, you just couldn’t stay away, huh?” I asked snidely, crossing my arms over my chest. However, the attitude behind the motion was ruined completely when Jake’s nose nuzzled between my arms, uncrossing them instantly. “You know, I was doing fine without you.”
“No food, no water, no fucking fire? Yeah, Carrie, you’re a regular boyscout,” he insisted, without losing a bit of his sharp tongue and normal roughness.
“I was getting to it,” I answered, “I was just taking a break, that’s all.”
Dropping the firewood on the ground, he followed it and started to methodically set the wood alight.
“Well, you need to get on that, because if you don’t warm yourself soon, your skinny ass will freeze to death.”
“You have no right to talk about my ass, in any capacity,” I answered, half teasing him.
Johnathan wasn’t amused. I could nearly sense his eyes roll as he continued to work with the tinder.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you do realize that you are in the mountains, not the fucking coast and when you’re in a situation like this, you should put aside your pride and get help. Your
pride doesn’t do shit for you if your dead,” he hissed.
“Yeah, well, look who’s talking, Mr. I’d rather be an asshole than have a normal conversation.”
“Well, this is one hell of a thanks for saving my ass,” he retorted as the flames of the growing fire started to lick around the tender. Carefully, Johnathan put the pieces of wood on the flames and watched them devour the smaller twigs almost instantly, before encompassing the whole structure of firewood he created.
“You’re the one who came in here and started doing stuff. I didn’t ask for your help and I don’t need your help,” I insisted and this time, due to the light the fire was giving off, I could see him roll his eyes as his head tilted back in annoyance, “Dammit, Cassie! Is thank you even in your vocabulary?”
“Not when I have no reason to say thank you. Just because you want to act like my knight in shining armor doesn’t mean you get to be it.”
At this, Johnathan laughed, but in a maniacal manner, “Yeah, sorry, but no. I’m no knight. I am…how did you put it before? Pitiful? A coward? A…child hiding under the covers?”
“Oh, so you were paying attention. That’s good to know.”
“I always pay attention, unlike you who seems to think with their stubbornness first and their brain after. Was it really so hard to stay with me? Was I that terrible of a host that you made me come out here and save you?”