by Shay Savage
“Nice?” Kathy snorts into the phone. “I don’t hear from you in almost a week, and all you got is ‘nice’?”
“I don’t know where to start.”
“Try the beginning, bitch.”
“Ugh!” I sigh loudly, but I can’t stop smiling. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed Kathy, and it feels good to hear her voice. “Okay, here’s the short version. I didn’t even know his last name until the middle of the ceremony. He’s got dark hair and blue eyes. He’s about a foot taller than I am, and his hands are huge. When he’s around other people, he looks like he’s four seconds away from literally ripping people’s arms off, but at home, he’s quite different.”
“Different how?”
“He’s…sweet. He’s gentle. He likes my cooking and draws me baths—candles and everything. I conked myself on the head, and he insisted on taking me to the hospital to get checked out. He’s got some strict rules, which is why I didn’t message you back, but he says...he says he’s going to take care of me. He says he wants to be a good husband.”
“Whoa.”
“Whoa what?”
“Are you falling for this guy? Already?”
“I don’t know if I’m falling for him,” I say, “but he’s a lot better than I thought he would be. I thought things were going to be a lot worse.”
I consider telling her about how I thought he was going to kill me but decide to keep that tidbit to myself.
“I’d laugh my ass off otherwise,” Kathy says. “All those times you’ve bitched about ‘instalove’ in romance books—I’d give you serious shit if it happened to you.”
We both laugh.
“So…tell me about the wedding night! Did you go through with it?”
“Yeah.” I’m pretty sure she can see my blush through the phone, but Kathy doesn’t squeal or cheer or anything. That’s not her way, and I love her for it.
“And?” she says simply, prompting me to continue.
“And it was kinda incredible.”
“Hold on.” I hear a click and realize she’s lighting a cigarette.
“Are you at work?”
“Yeah, just taking a break.”
“I thought you were going to quit smoking.”
“I did. Then I realized I wasn’t a quitter.”
I roll my eyes and listen to her puff a few times before she starts talking again.
“Now that I have a smoke, give me the deets on ‘kinda incredible.’”
“Um…” I look around the coffee shop, wondering if anyone is within earshot. The tables closest to me are empty, and I don’t think I’ll be overheard. “After I had my usual freak-out moment over the fact that Mom didn’t put anything useful in my travel bag, we talked a little. He was kinda pushing to hold off on the whole consummation thing, but I wanted to get it over with.”
“‘Get it over with?’” I can practically hear Kathy rolling her eyes. “How romantic.”
“Hey, I wasn’t so sure I was going to live through the night at that point.” I cringe when I realize what I’ve said. I don’t want Kathy to sense how serious my fear was, so I laugh it off. “I could have died of embarrassment or something.”
“But you didn’t, and you did go through with it.”
“Yes.” I take a sip of coffee and turn toward the wall a little. “He had me get on top. He said it would be easier that way.”
“Ride ’em, cowgirl!” Kathy snickers. “What does his cock look like?”
“Kathy!” I laugh and look around me, paranoid that someone might have heard her through the phone, but there isn’t anyone close by.
“Hey, I’ve been waiting for you to lose that cherry for a long-ass time! It’s time to compare some notes. How big is it?”
“Um…I think it’s pretty big. I don’t have anything to compare it with.”
“How about comparing it with a damn ruler?”
“Ya know, next time I’ll ask. ‘Hold on a sec, Dek—let me grab this measuring tape.’”
“Ha! You should at least be able to estimate.”
“Geometry was never my strong subject.”
“Ugh, Kera! You’re killing me here! Could you get your hand around it?”
“Barely.”
“Damn!
“Well, he’s not circumcised.”
“Really? You married a hood-rat?”
“Hood-rat?” I laugh out loud. “I dare you to say that to his face.”
“I’ve never done a guy who wasn’t cut. Does it look like it’s wearing a sweater? One of my co-workers is married to a Brit. He’s not cut, and she says it looks like a turtle head poking out of the sleeve of a sweater.”
“Um…kinda.” I laugh again and shake my head. It feels good to talk to Kathy.
“Is it straight? Curved? Does the end bend over into a hook?”
“Enough!” My sides are starting to hurt from laughing. “Tell me how you’re doing. How’s the new job?”
Kathy finished her nursing degree just a few months ago and was working her first serious job at an OB/GYN office.
“Full of baby goat heads,” she says bluntly.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you’d think that all women would take care of their hoo-has, wouldn’t ya?”
“Um, I suppose so.”
“Well, that’s a crock of shit. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I have seen. I’d send you pictures, but I assume you’ll probably want to eat again someday. Just believe me when I say there are women out there who wait way too long to see their doctor.”
“What does that have to do with baby goat heads?”
“If someone comes in with some serious weirdness going on down there, you’re supposed to take notes in the system for the doctor to see. The problem is, the patients can see the notes. They get all offended when you write ‘Moron noticed her labia was producing large, purple growths about six months ago and can no longer pull her pants all the way up. It’s occurred to her that maybe that ain’t normal.’ So we’ve got a code: baby goat heads. If there’s something seriously freaky going on, the doctor gets a little advanced warning, and no one knows what the fuck we’re talking about, so they can’t really get offended.”
“Oh my God! You are not serious!”
“I’m completely serious. That shit happens every week around here. That isn’t even the worst of it. There are people who have inserted—”
“Enough!” I yell into the phone. “I don’t want any more details!”
Kathy laughs.
“Overall, I really like it. It’s pretty much what they told me it would be. I spend more time dealing with bodily fluids than I might prefer, but the people I work with are awesome. Everyone has a sense of humor.”
“That’s great, Kathy. I’m so happy for you.”
“I’ll get vacation time after I’ve been here for ninety days. I might have to come and visit you.”
“That would be awesome!”
“I was thinking I’d try to be there around your birthday so we can hit the bars.”
“Kathy,” I cry with mock indignity, “are you already plotting to get me drunk so you can take advantage? I’ve only just lost my virginity this past week!”
“Oh, baby, you know it!” We both laugh, but my laughter is cut short.
“Jesus fucking Christ!”
I jump and swivel in my chair to see Deklan standing in the doorway of the coffee shop, glaring at me with piercing eyes.
Chapter 12
My husband towers over me, jaw tense, hands clenched, and eyes ready to set fire to anything and anyone in his path. My whole body tightens up, and I have to fight the urge to hide under the little round table in front of me, as if that would help.
“Kathy, I gotta go,” I say quickly. “Call ya later.”
I hang up and turn around to face Deklan’s glaring eyes and clenched fists.
“What the ever loving fuck are you doing here?”
“I-I…” I open and close my mout
h a few more times, but my voice isn’t responding to any commands. The answer to the question is too simple: I’m drinking coffee and talking on the phone. Saying it out loud is not only pointless, but I fear dangerous.
The barista who made my coffee is staring at us. So are some of the other customers. Two women in line lean close to one another, whispering and glancing at me. I’m only vaguely aware of their intruding looks; I’m too focused on the fury in my husband’s eyes.
Without another word, Deklan grabs my arm and pulls me out of the coffee shop. His car is right outside, double-parked. He yanks open the passenger side door and tosses me into the seat, slamming the door hard enough to make the car shake. He starts to yell as soon as he gets in the other side.
“I nearly had a heart attack when I got home and you weren’t there!”
“I just wanted to make a phone call,” I say softly.
“No shit,” he says with a growl. “How the fuck do you think I found you?”
“You…you traced it?”
“Yes, I fucking traced it! Who the hell is Kathy Jackson, and why are you talking to a nurse who lives halfway across the country?”
“A friend of mine.” I lick my lips, trying not to be completely disturbed that he not only found me this quickly but already knew exactly who I was talking to and where she lives. “We went to school together.”
The drive is too short. If it had been longer, maybe Deklan would have calmed down, but he’s just as irate as he was when he first found me. He speeds the few blocks back to the apartment, running stop signs and slamming on the brakes with a squeal when he pulls into the garage. He gets out, marches around the car, and pulls me bodily from my seat. I let him drag me down the hall and into the apartment.
I’ve crossed a line. I didn’t know where the line was, but there is no doubt that I leapt right over it. As the door crashes closed behind me, I clear my mind and try to prepare for the worst.
What is the worst?
Deklan had said he wouldn’t lay a hand on me in anger, but I’ve heard similar promises from my father. There’s a point where control is lost, and all bets are off. My husband is furious, and I have no idea what he’s going to do. However, I do have a notion of what he’s capable of doing.
I remember the bloodied shirt, and my eyes burn.
Deklan grabs my face in his hands as he pushes me up against the wall near the door. I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing for the blow to come, but instead of his fist, his lips crash against mine.
His tongue is in my mouth, probing with fierce determination. He groans as he presses his body against mine, pinning me against the wall. Confused, I reach up and wrap my fingers partway around his biceps and hold on as he violates my mouth without mercy.
He pulls away abruptly and glares down at me. His stare is still intense, but his eyes now hold desperation as well as anger.
“Do you have any idea what kind of shit went through my mind when I found you gone? I didn’t know if you’d been taken again or if you were hurt somewhere or if”—he takes a breath, sucking the air in through his teeth with a hiss—“or if you had just left me.”
“I didn’t mean to worry you.” My voice is tiny, and I feel a tear fall down my cheek.
Deklan closes his eyes and clenches his teeth. He takes one hand from my face and slams his palm against the wall beside my head, causing me to jump. His breaths are quick and heavy.
“All I could think was that I’d never…I’d never…” He clenches his teeth and looks away for a moment.
Deklan’s muscles flex under my hands as he scrapes his fingers over the wall by my head. Without warning, he grabs the top of my jeans and pulls, releasing the button and zipper in one swift movement. He yanks them down one of my legs, along with my panties as I hold my breath, afraid to move. One of my shoes falls off as he drags the leg of my jeans over my foot until my left leg is free. He doesn’t bother with the other side, just rights himself and opens his own pants, shoving them down his hips before he picks me up off the floor.
My back slams against the wall as he enters me in a single thrust.
I cry out in surprise, but Deklan says nothing. He just pulls back and starts pumping into me as fast as he possibly can. He has me immobilized against the wall, and I have to squeeze my arms out from between us to wrap them around his shoulders. He moves his hands to my thighs, holding them far apart as he drills into me.
The rhythmic thumps against the wall echo in my ears, and I wonder briefly if there is anyone out in the hallway. I claw at Deklan’s shirt and press my temple to his shoulder to keep my head from hitting the wall. He releases my legs, and I wrap them around his waist for balance as I pant against his skin.
I’m getting dizzy, my head swimming from the motion and the intensity. This is not what I was expecting, this dramatic display of want and need. I angered my husband and fully expected to be punished for what I had done, but I certainly wasn’t expecting this.
If this is Deklan’s idea of punishment, I’m not about to argue.
He’s quick and furious with his pace, driving deep as my lower back takes a hit against the wall with each penetration. All I can do is hold on, though he doesn’t need my help to keep me pinned exactly where I am. He grinds against me, and I moan loudly as he pulls back and crashes into me again.
I feel sweat collecting on the back of Deklan’s shirt as his rhythm continues with me thumping against the wall. He quickens his movement, driving into me with both passion and fury. I wrap my legs tightly around him, trying to get that last bit of pressure I need to send me over the edge.
Deklan stills suddenly, pressing me against the wall as he growls loudly through his teeth. I feel the warm flood of his orgasm deep inside of me as he grunts once more, his breath hot on my shoulder.
He keeps me there for a moment, stroking in and out a few more times as his breathing starts to slow. I keep holding on, afraid to let go, but also pressing up against him, still needing my own release.
“Don’t do that again.” Deklan slowly pulls out of me and lowers me back to my feet.
“I won’t,” I whisper. My clit is still throbbing, and my head is still reeling. My back hurts from the pounding he just gave me, but all I can think about is asking him to do it again. And again. And again.
He takes a step away, and the exposed parts of my body are instantly cold. I want to reach out to him and beg him to finish me off, but I don’t dare utter a word.
He turns around and starts doing up his pants as he walks into the kitchen and reaches up to one of the higher shelves. He pulls down a bottle of whiskey I hadn’t noticed before and pours a small amount into a shot glass. He downs it a second later.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Deklan mutters.
I’m not entirely sure if the question is rhetorical or not, but I decide to answer anyway.
“I was just going to grab a cup of coffee.” My voice is small and timid. I feel like I’m in shock as I slowly pull my jeans back on and try to think of the right words. “I didn’t think about a key until I was already outside. I couldn’t get back in, so I thought I’d just wait for you. I didn’t think you would be back until this evening. I thought I had more time.”
“Why didn’t you call?”
“You said the phone was only for emergencies. I didn’t think locking myself out counted.”
Deklan closes his eyes and leans heavily on the kitchen counter, eyes closed.
“I’ll have a key made for you,” he says, “but you tell me beforehand if you’re going to leave the apartment. Don’t go anywhere unless I know about it ahead of time.”
“Okay.”
He turns to me, and most of the anger is gone from his eyes.
“I’m not trying to keep you a prisoner,” he says. “I’m not like that, but…”
I wrap my arms around myself and stare at the floor. Deklan takes several deep breaths as he stares at the ceiling.
“Come here,” he says softly.
I look at him for a moment, trying to judge his intent. When he leans back against the counter and holds out his arms, I run to him and bury my face against his chest. Deklan runs his hand over my hair and gently kisses the top of my head.
“The Foley’s have enemies, Kera. I have enemies. Any one of them would jump at the opportunity to use you against me. I can’t protect you if I don’t know where you are.”
He tightens his arms around me, nearly lifting me from the floor again before he relaxes slightly and strokes my back, his lips pressed to my temple.
“I’m sorry I worried you.” I reach up and run my fingers through the short hair on the side of his head. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know.” He stares at me for a moment before turning his head and kissing the side of my hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you off. I’m going to make up for that later.”
I feel heat rise to my face, and I glance away from him, but he turns my head back to meet his gaze.
“I mean it. I should always get you off, but I just…” He inhales deeply and presses his lips together as he stares at the ground. “I just needed to be in you. I needed to come in you.” He shakes his head as if he’s trying to clear it. “I don’t know. I have to go now. Stay here. I’ll be back around seven.”
“I won’t go anywhere. I promise.”
Deklan closes his eyes for a second as he nods, kisses me briefly, and heads out the door.
I turn to watch him go before I slowly sink to the tile floor. I’m still throbbing between my legs, and my heart is still pounding quickly, but I don’t want to take care of myself. My mind is reeling too fast to even consider it.
Chapter 13
Leaning back against the arm of the couch, I flip through pages of a book on my WiFi disabled e-reader until I find the right chapter. I am nearly done, and my online group is supposed to go over it tomorrow. Deklan promised to take me somewhere to chat with everyone about the ending.
My husband walks out of the bathroom in just a towel, still dripping from his shower. He is running a little behind schedule this morning but seems able to get himself ready for the day in a matter of minutes. Though we’ve been married nearly a month now, I can’t stop myself from staring at his body whenever I get the chance. I watch him from the couch as he shovels a piece of toast down his throat, followed by a cup of coffee.