Hiding Out

by Nicole Andrews Moore

  “Do you feel that?” He whispered. “It’s a perfect fit. We were made for each other, Haley.”

  She nodded. She had been thinking they were made for each other long before this moment. She had felt an emotional connection long ago. And just as she grew used to him inside her, he began to pull out. The back and forth, rocking like a sea tossed ship that lulled her into a false sense of calm. And then, ever so gradually, a pressure built inside her. She had read all about this in novels. But, oh, they had never explained that it would be like this. Haley felt it growing and she couldn’t stand it. She spread wider, allowing Sam deeper access. He moaned and clung to her hips.

  “Deeper,” she urged.

  “Are you sure?”

  Haley couldn’t get enough of him; she wanted to consume him. They were moving faster and her legs were locked around him. Her back arched involuntarily and she gasped as her muscles contracted in rolling waves around him. And Sam, who had been desperately trying to hold on until he satisfied her, drove in deeply one last time as he exploded inside her at last.

  He knew he should get a towel and ever so gently clean her, but as he tried to move away, Haley gripped him tightly and merely murmured, “Please.” He collapsed against her, clinging to her. He had forgotten what it was like to be utterly lost in someone. And he knew now that he could never let her go.

  At three in the morning, Haley woke to find it wasn’t a dream. And not only was she lying in bed naked with Sam, but she hadn’t had her nightmare for the first time since the rape. It seemed too good to be real. She took a quick assessment of her body. She was a bit sticky between her legs, and a little sore, but otherwise seemed a specimen of perfect health. She moved away slightly to glance at the clock, but Sam unconsciously pulled her against him once more. Content that he had her as close as possible, he sank into a deeper sleep.

  When Haley woke, she realized that the sun had already risen. She panicked at first; afraid of being late for work, until she remembered that it was Sunday. She relaxed long enough to realize that Sam was awake and staring at her expectantly. It was as though he was afraid of how she was going to react in the light of day.

  Turning toward him so that their naked fronts were pressed together, Haley nuzzled his neck and murmured, “No regrets, right?”

  “You’re not upset?”

  She shook her head and offered him a seductive smile.

  “How not upset?” He smirked, overcome with relief.

  “Let me show you,” she murmured against his neck.

  He rolled onto his back, folded his hands behind his head and asked, “How?”

  Sam didn’t surprise easily, but when Haley straddled him, he was shocked. “And I was hoping for a kiss,” he managed.

  “Oh, okay,” she said, kissing him and moving to slide off.

  He grabbed her thighs, clutching her to him, and shook his head. “Now what?”

  “You’ll see,” she said with a lusty smile.

  Chapter Eight

  The phone rang while they were getting out of the shower. It had been an amazing morning. Haley had made love to Sam, a surprising and delightful experience for both of them. They had decided that they had had enough exercise for one morning and should forgo the jog in favor of a shower. And it was during the shower that Sam’s demeanor began to change. He was torn. On the one hand, he wanted to remain home with her all day, basking in the new warmth between them. And then as he thought about it, feelings of guilt would wash over him for the brother who was now hospitalized because of his self-less act of heroism.

  The dark cloud around him was nearly perceptible as he wrapped Haley in a warmed towel. “I could get used to this,” she said quietly.

  He simply drew her close and breathed in her clean scent, seemingly relaxed. Yet the instant the phone rang, he sprang to action. “Hello,” he said, out of breath.

  Haley watched as he sank onto the bed. He was gripping his head, hunched over scowling. She wanted to go to him, to comfort him with her touch, but sensed that now was not the time. He needed his space.

  He snapped his phone shut and looked at her with dark empty eyes. “He woke up,” he said quietly. “And I wasn’t there.” He sighed. “I am the worst brother in the world.” He stood and walked purposefully to the closet. When he returned to the room, he was completely dressed. “I have to go,” he said in a cold voice she didn’t recognize.

  “I’ll come with you,” she offered. “I can be ready in five minutes.”

  “No!” He snapped.

  Her eyes widened in surprise, then filled with tears. “You don’t want me there?” Her voice was meek and she struggled to control the sobs building in her chest.

  He sighed and inhaled deeply several times to get his emotions in check. “I don’t want you to come to the hospital right now.” He gazed at her with a vacant expression. “You probably shouldn’t come for a while.”

  She tilted her head, confused. “So, not even for dinners?”

  He shook his head. “Send Neville.”

  “Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say. “Shall I move out?”

  Again he shook his head. “I still need you to help out as we discussed.”

  “You just don’t want to be near me?” She studied him for a reaction. When he didn’t have one, she stormed back into the bathroom, slammed the door and locked it. Once safely inside, she leaned against it and struggled to breathe. How could he go from loving and affectionate to freezing cold so quickly? And what had she done to deserve such treatment? After I gave myself to him completely, she thought sadly. The tears she had fought to contain spilled over onto her cheeks. Her body began to shudder so she sank to the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees to try to control the sobs racking her tiny form. She knew she no longer had to worry about Sam hearing her. The front door had closed loudly several seconds ago, an indication that he had left for the hospital.

  Washing her face with a cool damp cloth, Haley studied herself in the mirror. Her first encounter with sex had been rape in its purest form. Her attacker took something that wasn’t being offered. This time, however, her wounds were self-inflicted for she had willing offered her heart. Different beginning and middle, virtually the same end.

  Haley was calmer now. She unlocked and opened the bathroom door. Pausing in the doorway, she looked at Sam’s bed with its rumpled sheets and knew she couldn’t sleep in it any more. Walking to his closet, she grabbed her duffle bags and started packing. It felt good to be taking some action.

  It had made sense at first. Sam figured if he could just push her away a little, he could focus on Adam’s recovery. He had stayed by his brother’s side day and night for a week and the first time he left Adam woke up. He sighed. And he was so selfish. He left Adam alone because he wanted to have sex. He shook his head. No, that wasn’t right. He loved her. And he wanted so badly to be with her, be close to her, and to forget all the bad things happening to them right now that he hadn’t even paused to consider the consequences. Now he had hurt Adam. He frowned. And Haley. He would have to call Neville, tell him to keep an extra close eye on her. The look on her face when he told her not to come to the hospital, when he told her he didn’t want her around right now. His heart ached as he thought about it. And it wasn’t true. He did want her around. He just felt he should punish himself for neglecting Adam.

  Well, you’ve screwed things up royally this time, Sam, he chided. Suddenly, he felt the urge to do something he hadn’t done in so long. Please, he prayed, please let me have a chance to make everything right. Please. But he didn’t feel any better.

  Mr. Davenport warned him that she might be upset today, to keep an extra close eye on her for a few days until things settled down. He had been in the kitchen making breakfast when the door slammed. Mr. Davenport and Miss Haley had gone straight to the bedroom upon their arrival the night before and hadn’t been heard from since. He knew what that meant. Secretly, he thrilled in the thought that they might be in love. Then he rece
ived the phone call. With trepidation, he mounted the stairs. It was quiet on the second floor, too quiet.

  Neville entered the bedroom cautiously, unsure of what he might find. The room was vacant, the bed thoroughly mussed up. Must change those sheets today, he reminded himself. The bathroom door was ajar, but still he knocked and called out before entering.

  “Miss Haley, are you in here?”

  There was no response. He slowly pushed the door open, but the room was empty. He glanced around. Her toiletries were gone. Panic gripped him. He walked over to the closet. Her bags were gone and so were all of her clothes, all but the ones Mr. Davenport had purchased for her. What could he do? He couldn’t talk to Mr. Davenport right now. Besides the fact that his cell phone would be off in the hospital room, he would have to exhaust all efforts before he brought Miss Haley’s absence to Mr. Davenport’s attention.

  Slowly, he walked down the stairs and returned to the kitchen to contemplate his course of action. Maybe something would come to him while he prepared all of Mr. Adam’s favorites. Maybe Miss Haley would return before he left for the hospital at four. She had to return.

  After moving all of her belongings, Haley felt the need to clear her head. She needed fresh air. She changed into jogging pants, a long sleeved t-shirt and her fleece to do something she had never had the courage to do alone previously. She snuck out the back door, let herself out the garden gate, and began running. At first she thought it was a random jog, but soon she realized she was heading straight for Ellen’s. It made sense, and Ellen would help her reason everything out.

  Filled with a sudden sense of purpose, she picked up the pace, lulled by the sound of her feet pounding the pavement, calmed by the sway of her pony tail in the breeze, chilled by the cold battering her cheeks. Through it all, she thought only of what she would say to Ellen.

  “What are you going to do?” Ellen asked, her sad gaze fixed on Haley.

  “I don’t know,” she responded, staring at her friend over a steaming mug of hot chocolate. “I can’t believe I…” Her voice trailed off in shame.

  “Please,” Ellen began, waving at the air. “We’ve all done that.” She watched Haley’s expression. “I know, but trust me, the rest of us have all given ourselves to some guy who turns out to be unworthy.”

  Haley moaned. “But that’s just it. I thought he might wind up being ‘the one.’” She shrugged. “I mean…he’s always been so good to me, so kind, so…perfect!” She watched Ellen nursing little Abigail and felt a twinge of jealously.

  “So, are you taking off now?” Ellen watched for a reaction. She didn’t want Haley to leave, but her life and her heart might be safer if she did move on. The police had yet to locate the man in the sketch artist’s picture. There had not been a single solid lead. And Haley had never even seen the picture since she had been so busy with work and Sam.

  “I can’t yet. Not until you come back. I made a commitment that I intend to keep. Sam will be busy at the hospital, so it’s not as though I’ll have to spend any time with him. Plus, I discovered that I love the advertising world.” Her eyes brightened. “And, Ellen, I’m good at it!”

  She beamed, thrilled to hear the excitement in Haley’s voice. Then she bit her lip as she remembered. “What if I don’t come back?”

  Haley paused. “What do you mean?”

  “What if I decide to be a stay-at-home mom?” She smiled slightly and glanced lovingly at the sleeping infant in her arms.

  Her face clouded over. “I don’t know. I guess if you’re not coming back I just have to give notice and decide where to go next.” She saw the sadness creep into Ellen’s face.

  “Don’t worry. Now that we’ve rekindled our friendship, you’ll always know where I am. I promise.” She glanced at the clock. It was already four. Where had the day gone? “I really need to get going,” she said, rising from the couch. “I have a long jog back.”

  “Nonsense. I’ll have Ryan pick up some dinner, and he’ll drop you off later.”

  Sam glanced at the clock. Had it only been six hours since he last saw her? Even though he sat there staring at his brother, willing him to get well, his thoughts were consumed with Haley. What was she doing at this very moment? Did she hate him? Could she ever find it in her heart to forgive his rash behavior?

  When Neville entered the room, Sam was holding his head in his hands, staring at the floor. “Sir.” He placed the box of food on the bedside table.

  Sam glanced at him. He knew he should thank him for the meal, but he had to know how Haley was. He saw how uncomfortable Neville looked. Slowly, he straightened. “How is she?” His hands gripped the arms of the chair as he awaited a response.

  Neville shifted and averted his gaze for a moment. “It’s difficult to say, sir,” he said as he reluctantly met his employer’s eyes.

  Standing slowly, Sam asked in an even tone, “Why is it difficult to say?”

  He cleared his throat and tugged at his collar, which seemed to be tightening uncomfortably around his neck. “Because I haven’t seen her to ask,” he responded weakly.

  The hairs on his neck stood up. “Is she locked in the bedroom?”

  Neville shook his head.

  “The bathroom?”

  Another shake.

  “Where is she, Neville?” He asked through tight lips.

  His shoulders drooped. “I don’t know, sir.” Sam had crossed the short distance between them in a single stride. “I went to check on her immediately, but she was gone.” His head sank. “I looked everywhere. I’ll keep looking.” He was desperate to soothe Mr. Davenport’s anger.

  A new alarming thought crossed his mind. “Her things?” Sam whispered.

  Neville swallowed. “Gone, sir.”

  Sam sat hard on the chair. “Please, go,” he croaked, his throat tight.

  Neville didn’t need to be asked twice. He turned on his heels and bolted for the door. There was only one thing that would make this right. He had to find Miss Haley.

  Sam paced restlessly, torn between being here for his brother and finding the woman he loved. And while he paced he berated himself. You knew she was fragile. You knew that anything could just set her off. You knew she could just take off and never look back. You might have been enough to hold her here, but not after the way you treated her. His throat burned. And this, hours after you had made love. Hours after she gave you the most tangible symbol of her trust. You were going to be different with her. Now you’re just as bad as that other monster.

  He needed to talk to someone. He turned to stare at Adam, once again willing him to wake up. It didn’t work. The doctor assured him that Adam was shaking off the coma ever so slowly. It was just a matter of time. I don’t have time, he moaned. I’m losing Haley now!

  Haley snuck back in the way she came. It never occurred to her anyone would be missing her, worrying over her. And right now, she just wanted a little peace. She tiptoed up the plush carpeted stairs without making a sound and entered the guest room. Once safely inside, she quietly closed the door. Haley peeled off her jogging wear, toyed with the idea of a nice relaxing bath in the enormous Jacuzzi tub, but decided instead to let sleep overtake her. She dropped into bed, too tired to dream.

  “I need you to find her,” Sam said sadly Monday morning.

  Jake gripped the phone. “What are you talking about?”

  “Haley is missing,” Sam said breathlessly, racing up the steps from the hospital cafeteria.

  “No, she’s not,” he said leaning back in his chair.

  “Of course she is. Why else would I be calling?” Sam snapped.

  Jake sighed. “I walked into the office with her this morning. We rode the same elevator, exited on the same floor. Her hair looks great its natural color, by the way.”

  Sam paused on the third landing. “I don’t understand.” He thought a minute, then froze.

  “Can you make sure she’s not just packing her desk?”

  “Fine. I’ll call you back.”

>   “No,” Sam growled. “I’ll have to call you. You have an hour.”

  “Is there any reason why you can’t just call her right now?” He sighed.

  Sam frowned. “Yes. I’m an ass. I can’t talk to her. I just want to know she’s all right, safe.”

  “Great. Hard to argue with that reasoning, especially when it’s so sound.” Jake rolled his eyes. “I‘ll be ready when you call.”