“How come you don’t have a wife or kids?”
I lean back in my chair.
Shit, I know I need to wait for Lorelei for this conversation, but I have a feeling the kid has already guessed who I am, and I won’t have him thinking for a second I didn’t want him.
“Buddy, I want you to listen to me real good, okay?”
Brown eyes so similar to my own fix on me, hope and fear warring there, and he gives a small nod.
“Your mom and I, we loved each other a long time ago. But that man, the one who took you–”
“Farkas.” Something stirs in his eyes, under the brave face he gives me. A tremble of fear. And God, I want to reach out and take it away. Banish whatever he’d seen, the things he heard.
A lump grows thick at the base of my throat.
“He wanted to hurt your mom. So, she ran away.”
“Why didn’t you try and find her?”
The accusation stings, because I know what he’s really asking. Why didn’t you try and find me?
He knows who I am to him.
“I did.” And it nearly destroyed me, the searching, the hoping, until I broke, and it was easier to just accept that she was gone. “But she was good at hiding. And you know what?”
“What?”
“In a way, I’m glad she was, because it meant you two were safe. But now that you’re here, it’s going to be my job to make sure he never hurts either of you again.”
“Because you’re my dad,” he says matter-of-factly.
The kid shreds me.
“Yeah, buddy, I am.”
Silence.
Acceptance.
Finally, he says, “That’s why you guys had sex?”
I grunt, rubbing the back of my neck. “You might want to keep the sex talk between us men. Don’t think your mom would appreciate it.”
“Just between us men,” he repeats.
“Now, how about that breakfast?” I stand. “Want to help crack the eggs?”
He nods, pushing his chair back and meeting me at the counter. I hand him the carton of eggs.
I start frying the bacon, watching Nolan struggle to crack the first egg. When he smacks the egg on the bowl, it explodes. Frowning, he starts fishing for the broken pieces of shells with his fingers.
Chuckling, I take an egg from the carton. “Here. Watch.” I gently tap it on the side of the bowl. “Then you just twist carefully.” The yolk slides into the bowl.
“Cool. You did it with one hand.”
I hand him another egg. “You can, too. Just don’t hit it too hard.”
He cracks the egg. “Like this?”
“Yep. The trick is all in the thumb.”
The egg cracks and more pieces of shell go in the bowl.
“I can’t do it.”
“You can. Just keep trying. We can strain the shell out after.” I turn back to the oven and flip the bacon, then add bread to the toaster.
A second later, Nolan squeals. “I did it, Damon. Look.”
“Good job, buddy.”
He beams up at me.
“Damon?”
“Yeah, bud?”
“I...I think,” he says tentatively. “I think I’m going to like having a dad.”
Gutted. That’s what I am. Words get stuck in my throat. Because this right here is everything I didn’t know I’d been missing for the past eleven years. And nothing and no one will ever take it away from me again.
Chapter 14
Lorelei
Damon’s deep laughter and Nolan’s giggling wake me up. The scent of bacon wafts down the hall.
I wrap Damon’s robe around me and make my way toward the kitchen, watching them from the doorway.
“What vegetables do librarians like?” Nolan asks before taking a bite of scrambled eggs.
Damon grins. “What?”
“Quiet peas.”
They both laugh.
Damon is wearing a pair of low-hanging jogging pants, but no shirt, all his glorious muscles and tattoos exposed. Sitting at the table, he seems to dwarf it. He’s just...big. In every way possible. The ache between my thighs is a reminder of that.
Everything about the man is sexy.
“Mom.” Nolan grins up at me. “We made breakfast, and Damon showed me how to crack an egg with one hand.”
“Hey,” Damon stands, pulling out a chair for me to sit. “I wanted to let you sleep in.”
“Thank you.”
He fixes a plate and places it in front of me.
“You don’t have to work today?” I ask.
“I have to go in for a few hours later, but my guys can cover for me.”
“Damon said we can go shopping today. He said I can buy a PS4 with games, and–”
Damon coughs and gives Nolan a look, some secret passing between them. “I thought we could go and get you both some clothes, and anything else you might need before we can get your stuff from your old place.”
“Is that...” I suck my bottom lip between my teeth. “Safe?”
“You’ll be with me.”
I nod, but unease settles in my chest. It’s not just Farkas I fear, but everyone in this small town.
Damon places a hand over mine and squeezes.
“Why was six afraid of seven?” Nolan reaches for another slice of bacon. He’s already settled in, enjoying this moment, and I want to as well.
“Why?” Damon asks, grinning at our son like he’s the best thing he’s ever seen.
“Because seven eight nine. Get it. He ate him.”
“Funny.” Damon chuckles.
The rest of the morning Nolan rattles off jokes while Damon laughs like they're the funniest thing he’s ever heard.
“Hey,” Damon pulls me aside when Nolan leaves the room. “You should know that Nolan asked me if I was his dad.”
I suck in a breath. “How would he...what did you say?”
“Told him the truth.”
“Okay.” I glance towards the doorway Nolan left through. “I should talk to him.”
“Just give him some time to process it. He’ll be fine.” He drags his thumb down my cheek. “We all will be, now.”
“Farkas is still out there.”
He takes my hand and places it over his heart. “Yeah, but you’re right here. You’re safe, Lor.”
Expectations. They grow, blossoming inside me, their vines strangling fear, hiding doubt.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” I say.
He pulls me into a kiss, and when he finally pulls back, Nolan is in the doorway grinning at us. I expect him to make the usual gagging noise he makes when he sees people kiss on TV, but instead, he bounces on his heels and tells us to hurry up and get dressed.
I know Damon wants to spoil Nolan with gifts, and normally I’d argue against it, but he’s been through so much this past week, I don’t see how a new gaming system and a few toys will hurt. It doesn’t really seem right to argue about anything Damon wants to give him right now.
But it doesn’t make me feel any better taking from him. The only people I’ve ever accepted help from were Patty and Merv, and only because I had no other choice.
I never want anyone to see me as weak and needy, especially not Damon, but what other options do I have?
We drive forty minutes in the opposite direction of Harristown, to a mall with two big box stores and a few smaller clothing shops.
“Get whatever you want,” Damon tells me, pulling out two carts and rolling one towards me.
“Damon, I can’t...”
One large arm wraps around my waist, tugging me to him. There’s a flicker of guilt in his eyes I don’t understand when he says, “Everything I have is yours, Lor.” He kisses my forehead. “Take your time. I’ll take Nolan to the boys’ section–”
“And the toy department, right?” Nolan pipes up.
“After we get you some new clothes and shoes.”
I place my hand on his chest when he starts to walk away. “Thank you.”
He grins down at me and whispers in my ear. “You can thank me later.”
I shiver with the innuendo, my core heating immediately. Only he does that to me.
Despite his insistence I buy whatever I want, I get only the essentials. A couple of pairs of jeans, a few shirts, new bras and panties.
I find Damon and Nolan in the kitchen section, their cart already overflowing with items.
Damon frowns when he looks into my cart. “You barely got anything.”
“It’s all I need.”
His lips thin slightly, but he doesn’t argue.
“What are you two doing in this area?”
“Nolan was just helping me pick out some baking essentials.” Damon winks at me. “You still owe me one of your famous lemon meringue pies.”
“Her chocolate mousse cake is even better.” Nolan smiles up at me, picking up a baking sheet and adding it to his cart. “Right, Mom?”
These two. My heart swells, because I know what they’re both doing.
But it only reminds me that I’m currently without a job. No income. No way to support Nolan and me. It would be so easy to just accept Damon’s protection, his money...but...
“You’re too damn stubborn,” Damon says against the shell of my ear as if he can read my thoughts. “Tell me what you need.”
I hold his gaze, awareness shining there, like he knows every damn one of my flaws and doesn’t care. Like he can see my needs, the ones I don’t even want to admit myself, and is willing to do anything to give them to me.
And it hits me in this moment that everything I ever needed is right here.
Him.
Nolan.
They’re everything.
Maybe I can make a life in Port Clover.
“Does Rita still have that little bakery over on Third?” I ask.
“No, she shut it down a few years ago.”
“Oh.” Disappointment flutters through me.
“How come?” Damon asks, watching Nolan from the corner of his eye, who’s walking further down the aisle.
“If I’m staying here–”
His eyes snap back to me. “You are.”
I sigh. “I’ll need a job.”
His lips thin. “I can take care of you.”
“I get the whole white knight complex you have, but I’m not a damsel in distress.” Frustration makes my words come out a little too hard. “I can take care of myself.”
“You’ve proven that. But it doesn’t mean we can’t take care of each other.”
The man is so big. Towering over me. Savage. Primal. Fierce.
“You don’t need anyone to take care of you,” I mumble.
“I need you.” He loops a massive arm around my waist, pulling me flush against his heat and strength.
Heat courses through me, but more than that...certainty.
Mine.
Mine.
Mine.
My heart beats out the rhythm.
Until a chill wraps around me, a feeling like something is wrong.
“Nolan,” I say. “Where is he?”
Damon tenses. One second he’s holding me, the next he’s darting down the aisle, then disappearing around the corner.
My legs lose all feeling.
Oh God, it’s happening again.
Fear burns through me, and I’m stumbling forward.
What was I thinking taking my eyes off him?
What was I thinking coming here?
I should have run the second Nolan was back in my arms.
Tears blur my eyes as I follow after Damon, and I choke out my son’s name. “N-Nolan?”
“Mom?” Nolan calls to me, Damon leading him back towards me with a deep frown.
“Where were you? You can’t just walk away like that.”
“I was just getting chips. Right there.” He nods at the aisle across from us, which is only a few feet away.
But still too far.
One second. That’s all it would take for Farkas to snatch him again.
My voice is raised, but I can’t control it, the hysteria that seeps through. “You can’t...can’t walk away like that.”
“I’m sorry.” Nolan looks ready to cry.
I pull him to me, smothering him, even though I feel him cringe under the kisses I place on top of his head.
“Mom, we’re in public.”
I release him, but I’m still shaking, and I would probably lose it completely if I didn’t feel Damon’s wide palm on my lower back. But panic still claws at my throat, and I’m pretty sure my body has forgotten how to take in oxygen because I see stars in front of my eyes and my lungs burn.
“Nolan,” Damon says, taking the few items from my cart and placing them in with theirs. “Can you push the cart? We’re going to go now.”
I’m aware of Damon leading me to the front, aware of him paying the cashier, aware of him helping me into his truck as he and Nolan load their buys into the back, but a numbness has settled over me.
Nolan, who is never at a loss for words, is quiet when we start driving back to Port Clover. We all are.
When we pull up the driveway of Damon’s house, I stay in the truck, even when Damon and Nolan get out to unload the back.
Run. My brain demands. Take Nolan and run as far away from here as possible.
I can’t. Won’t. I know I wouldn’t get far before Damon tracked us down. But the impulse is still there.
I’m not sure how long I sit there, but eventually Damon opens my door and unbuckles my seatbelt.
“Come here.” He wraps my arms around his neck and picks me up, placing my feet on the ground.
“I told you I don’t need someone to protect me, but that’s not true.”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything, just waits for me to continue.
“I’ve always thought I was brave, but...” I close my eyes. “All I want to do is run.”
He sucks in a shaky breath. Placing a hand on the back of my head, he pulls me to him so that my forehead rests on his chest. I swear I can hear the thump of his heart.
“Sometimes, the bravest thing to do is stay and fight, Lor.”
“And sometimes it’s knowing which battles you can’t win.”
He pulls back, gripping my shoulders. “You know how you felt today when you didn’t know where Nolan was?”
I nod, my chest squeezing with the memory.
“That’s how I felt when I lost you. How I feel every time I think about losing you again.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
His hands caress both sides of my face. “Don’t be sorry. Just don’t leave me again.”
“I won’t.”
He stills. “Say it again.”
“I won’t leave you, Damon.”
His mouth presses hard against my forehead, and my fingers curl in his shirt.
Our bodies sway, a breadth apart.
Warmth and trust and desire.
“Damon,” Nolan calls from the front porch, breaking the moment.
He doesn’t release me, just glances over. “Yeah, buddy, what is it?”
“Can you help me set up the PS4?”
“Sure. I’ll be right in.”
Satisfied, Nolan darts back inside.
His mouth brushes against mine, gentle, tender, tasting, before he says, “I have something for you.” His brows are furrowed slightly.
I frown up at him, not knowing what else he could give me. “What?”
He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper from his wallet, then hands it to me.
I open it up and gasp at the large sum of money printed on it. “What is this?”
“The check I promised. The money I found, it’s yours.”
“Damon–”
“Before you say anything, I was thinking on the way home. You mentioned Rita’s bakery. The building has been sitting abandoned for years. With this money, you could open it up again. Start your own business.”
“My own business...” It’s always been a dream, but there has never been any way I could afford it. “I...I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just think about it. It’s yours. Whatever you want to do with it is up to you.”
“Thank you.”
He kisses me hard again right as Nolan comes back out and calls, “I like you better when you aren’t always kissing my mom.”
Damon laughs and calls back, “Better get used to it, kiddo, because I plan on doing it a lot.”
I smack his chest playfully, and he kisses me one more time before jogging towards the house.
Leaving me clutching the check in my hand.
Leaving me in awe of the man.
And leaving me with one more expectation One that could ultimately decimate the fragile pieces of my heart.
Chapter 15
Damon
“We believe Farkas has fled south. There’s a money trail and video evidence that he’s in South Carolina,” Blake says over the receiver.
“Could be a decoy.” I don’t trust anything about the man. If we think he’s gone south, it’s because he wants us to. “Farkas is smart enough not to leave a trail.”
“It’s the only trail we have at the moment.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do with that?” I pace my office and drag a hand back through my hair, over my neck. “Right now, I have one of my men guarding my house whenever I’m not there, but we can’t live like this forever.”
In fear.
Lorelei and Nolan have been with me for almost a week, and after what happened at the store with Nolan wandering off, she hasn’t let me take her or the kid anywhere but the house and out on the lake.
Rumors have already started, and I’ve spent the last few days dodging calls from my family. I have to tell them soon. Plus, Nolan will need to be signed up for school, and there’s also hockey.
I’m not going to let him miss out on a thing just because the Harristown Police Department couldn’t step up and do their fucking job.
“Just call me when you know more,” I say before hanging up.
Jennifer Walker, one of my deputies, pokes her head in. “Your brother is here to see you.”
Shit.
“Which one?”
“Kade.”
Him, I can deal with. “Send him in.”
Salvage (Savages and Saints Book 3) Page 13