“Perhaps.”
“Who says perhaps?” He teased me. “Is that a yes or a no?”
“You’ve kissed me before.” I whispered, thinking about that night a year ago.
“You were my first kiss. I didn’t really know what I was doing.” He groaned, his words trying to explain why we hadn’t experienced the fireworks I had always expected from a first kiss.
“And you were mine.” I said softly. I had not forgotten my first kiss, even though I’d wanted to. It hadn’t been great, but it had been special. I just didn’t want him to know that I thought that.
“I’ve got more experience now.” He whispered and my stomach churned.
“I know.” This time it was my turn to keep my voice deceptively light. Nick had been in a serious relationship for the last few months. I had tried to ensure that he didn’t see just how devastated I had been when he had taken his then girlfriend to junior prom instead of me. Or how happy I had felt when they broke up. I didn’t want to acknowledge my jealousy or subsequent elation.
“I can show you what a passionate kiss feels like.” He moved closer to me, his eyes serious as he gazed at me.
“Do you really love me, Nick?” I couldn’t stop the words from spurting out. My heart was pounding, and my hands were clammy. My voice cracked as I said his name.
“To the edges of earth and back.” He whispered.
“The edges of earth, huh?” I laughed happily. “Which edge?”
“Hmm, off the coast of Australasia.”
“Geography show-off.” I joked.
“If you consider what I learned in Sixth grade to be showing off, then I have plenty to impress you with.”
“Like?”
“Nigeria is a country on the western coast of Africa, China had a billion dynasties, and there were African conquistadors in Mexico.”
“Well, color me impressed.” I laughed. “You are a smarty-pants.”
“Unfortunately all my smarts end there. I don’t exactly have your brains, so it is unlikely I will make it into Harvard.”
“I haven’t even made it to Harvard.” I sighed. “So you can’t say you don’t have my brains.”
“You will,” his voice was sad. “And I’ll still love you when you go to an Ivy.” There was a silence in the air as we stared at each other. What would happen when I went away to school? Would we still be friends? Should I even mention that I loved him as well? Knowing that it was likely that I’d be in another city very soon.
“You hate the Ivies. You think they’re exclusionary, racist, sexist, and classist.” I said finally, trying to break the uncomfortable silence.
“They are, but I don’t care about that when I’m around you. That’s how much I love you.”
“I guess you really do then.” Silence surrounded us again, and we looked up at the night sky, comforted by each other’s presence. I could feel his shoulder rubbing gently against mine and I breathed in the night air. I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with happiness. This moment was perfect. Absolutely perfect. I reached down for his hand and held it in mine.
“Nick.” I said as I opened my eyes and looked back up at the sky.
“Yes, Snitch?”
“I love you too.”
“I know.”
I laughed at the confidence in his voice and rolled over to stare at him. He was gazing at me with adoration, and my stomach did belly flops. Never in my life had someone looked at me with such love. I’d always dreamed of falling in love and being loved more than anything in the world, but a part of me had never truly believed that it would happen to me. I’d been wrong. I knew that now. The moment was so unbelievably perfect.
“I suppose you know I’ve loved you since the day I caught you ditching school,” he continued, a wry smile on his face.
“It was your evil plan to become my best friend and then make me fall in love with you right?”
“No, not really,” he paused. “In fact, I was hoping you’d fall in love with me later, after high school.”
“Oh?” I frowned. “Why?” My heart thudded as he brushed a stray hair away from my face.
“Statistically speaking, our relationship doesn’t have good odds. Not with it starting in high school. A lot of high school relationships don’t actually last.”
“Our relationship?” I said hesitantly, surprised at his use of the word. What relationship was he talking about?
“Of course, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now.” He said simply.
“Well, of course.” I laughed, my body all aglow.
“We’ll just have to make sure to avoid the curse.” His voice was matter of fact. “And maybe not let your parents know since they hate me as it is.” He made a face.
“They don’t hate you.” I lied.
“It doesn’t matter. They don’t know me like you do.” His voice was dry. “Promise me, you’ll always remember the real me when you’re at Harvard and I’m trying to make it in community college.”
“Nick.” I stared at him and pulled his hands up towards my lips and kissed them softly. “I love you.” Then I pulled his face towards mine and gazed deeply into his eyes. “I. Love. You. Nick. Sanders.” I emphasized each word with as much emotion as an 18 year old could muster. It was a weird feeling, saying the words that had lived in me for the last two years. I’d never intended on falling in love with my best friend, but it had been inevitable. We’d been close from the very beginning. Maybe we were too close and too comfortable. Sometimes I felt we shared the same mind. He was my other half and as much as we argued, we also loved each other. We complimented each other perfectly.
“Do you remember the day we went to Burger King, and I made you buy your own milkshake, and you looked at me like I had asked you to buy me a house?” He said laughing as he brought up an old memory.
“You can’t invite someone to lunch and expect them to pay.” I chided him, giggling.
“You’re my best friend, of course I can.”
“Guys don’t ask girls to go places and expect them to pay.”
“I’ll remember that now,” He laughed. “Gosh, you’ve been my girlfriend for less than ten minutes, and you’re already spending all my money.”
“All what money?” I rolled my eyes, and Nick leaned over and kissed me, and this time when he slid his tongue into my mouth, I felt the fireworks exploding all around me. I kissed him back eagerly, and as he reached his hand to my back, I pushed myself into him willingly, excited by his touch and warmness. His fingers rubbed my back and he held me tenderly against my chest and this time, this second kiss was the kiss to end the world.
Chapter 4
5 Years Ago
The Night Before I Left For College
“I will call you every night,” I whispered into his ear as he played with my hair and kissed my neck. “I will call you so much that you will beg me to stop.”
“And I will come up to Boston every weekend and show off my brilliant, smart Harvard girlfriend.” He kissed my cheek and ran his finger down the crook of my nose. “And then when I graduate from community college, we can get a place together, and I can transfer to Northeastern or Boston College or something.”
“And then we’ll move to New York once we graduate,” I continued excitedly. “I’ll work in banking, and you’ll be a famous writer.”
“And we’ll get married and have three kids.” He laughed. “And they will all bunk off school as much as me and drive you crazy.”
“No one can drive me as crazy as you,” I laughed, giddy and happy. We had everything planned out. We’d spent nights on the phone talking about our future lives and what we would do after high school. There was no doubt in either of our minds that we would be together forever. True love meant forever and if anyone had true love it was the two of us.
“Who would have thought that the school rebel and the class valedictorian would end up together?” His finger traced my lips and ran down my chin, and slowly down my neck. I held my breath
as he stared into my eyes, and I felt his fingers move further down and gasped as they cupped my breast. He paused and stared at me with a question in his eyes. I nodded my head, and he reached down and pulled my t-shirt up slowly, an ecstatic gaze on his face. I sat up slowly, and he pulled the t-shirt off me and threw it to the ground. He stared at my pink lacey bra and grinned. “Nice bra, Snitch.”
I rolled my eyes at him and reached over to pull his t-shirt off as well. I leaned over and pinched his right nipple, and he cried out. “Shhh.” I placed my finger on his lips and grinned. “If my parents know you’re here, they will kill me.”
“The door is locked, right?” His eyes twinkled at me, and I nodded. He knew that I was always sure to lock the door every night he snuck into my room. Since we had been dating, Nick had become persona non grata at our house, and we had to be very careful that my parents never saw him.
“Yes, of course.” I laughed and lay back on the bed. “I love you, Nick.”
“I love you too, Snitch.”
“I think I’m ready.” I grabbed his hand and held it in mine. “If you are.” Nick’s eyes widened in pleasure and shock.
“Are you sure?” He asked hesitantly, his eyes filled with desire as his hand cupped my bra-covered breast.
“Yes.” I smiled at him slowly and sweetly. “I can’t believe you’ve waited so patiently.” And I couldn’t. We had been kissing, dry humping and making out for months and I knew that he wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I had wanted to make love to him as well, but I’d wanted it to be the absolute perfect moment.
“I didn’t want to rush you. I’d wait for you forever.” His tone was suddenly serious. “I don’t want to do this if you’re not sure. I love you, Snitch. I’ll wait however long it takes.” He kissed my neck and I felt his teeth grazing my skin.
“I want us to make love.” I answered him shyly. “I want us to do it tonight. I want to think of this night when I can’t be with you.”
“Promise me that you won’t regret it tomorrow.” His eyes burned into mine. “Promise me that this is what you really want.”
“I want you, Nick Sanders.” I brought his face up to mine. “You’re my boyfriend and my best friend—we’re the real deal. Nothing feels so right to me in this moment.” I leaned up and kissed him hard. “I want this to happen tonight. It just feels right.”
“I know you wanted to wait for marriage,” His fingers ran over my stomach lightly, and I stilled as they inched their way down to the top of my jeans. “I know how important it is to you to remain a virgin until marriage.”
“You really think I’m some goody-two shoes, still?” I winked at him and he laughed as his fingers rested on the button on my jeans.
“I know how important your faith is to you.” He popped my button out and unzipped my pants. “I don’t want to take this away from you. If you want to wait until we’re married, I can wait.” His fingers pulled my zipper down and he paused.
“I love you, Nick,” my heart thudded in anticipation and with love for him. “I’ve no doubt in my mind that we will be together forever. I want to do this. I love that you care about my faith and are willing to wait, and that is why I want to do this. I know how perfect we are for each other. And I want you to dream of this night while I am at school.”
“I don’t want you to go.” His fingers slipped down inside my pants and in between my legs, over my panties. “Or I wish I was smart and rich enough to join you in Boston right away.”
“It’ll be okay.” I whispered as I felt his fingers rub me gently through my panties. The feeling was even more intense because of the fact that his fingers didn’t have much room to move. “It’s only two years. We can get through two years easily, we’ll see each other all the time, and we both have phones.” I gasped and moaned as he rubbed my bud a little faster.
“I’ll get a job as well, so I can save.” He whispered against my lips, and I trembled as his fingers slipped inside my panties. “I’ll work as much as I can so that I can save as much money as possible.” He groaned against me as his fingers touched my wetness.
“And then we can get a place,” my breathing was heavy as I ran my hands down his back, wanting to feel more of him against me.
“You and me, we’re forever.” His voice was raspy as he pulled my jeans and panties down my legs, and I wiggled my legs and feet so he could slide them all the way off.
“Forever and a day.” I giggled as he kissed up my legs and tickled me with his tongue. He licked up my inner thigh and continued until he reached my breasts. He pulled away and reached over and pulled my bra-straps down and unclasped my bra, until I was lying there on the bed, naked underneath him.
“You’re beautiful, Lucy.” He gazed at my body in wonder and then up into my eyes. “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”
“Your turn.” I blushed and watched as he ripped off his shirt and jeans and flung them on the floor. “And…” My voice trailed off as I stared at his naked chest, muscular and firm. All he had on was his boxers and I could see the bulge in the front, taunting me.
He grinned at me and pulled off his boxer shorts, and I stared at him in all his naked glory. “Like what you see?” He winked at me and I laughed at his confidence.
I nodded shyly and stared at his naked body in admiration. This was the first time that we had been completely naked with each other. While we had never had sex before, we had fooled around quite a bit, but never to this point. Never to the point of being completely naked with each other. I’d never seen his manhood before. Not naked. I’d touched it, rubbed my hands over his pants and even slipped my fingers inside of his pants, but he’d never been completely open and free in front of me. I lifted my hand up and touched his chest carefully, running my fingers down the length of his torso until I reached his manhood. I touched him eagerly, and my fingers slid along him excitedly, grabbing him and relishing in the feel of his growth in my hands. I giggled as I watched him hardening and growing in my hand and I moved my fingers back and forth quickly.
“Careful, Lucy, you’ll make me come before we even make love.” He grunted at me.
“Really?” I giggled as he groaned again and pulled away from me slightly.
“Lucy, the things you do to me.” He rolled me onto my back and positioned himself on top of me.
“Oh?” I smiled up at him happily and moaned as his fingers found my sweet spot. I writhed against him on the bed and wanted nothing more than to feel him inside of me. At that point, I didn’t care if it was fingers or his manhood.
“I love you, Lucy. I want to make sure your first time is good.”
“Shh, just kiss me.” I pulled him down towards me, and I reached up to press my lips against his. I felt his chest hairs tickling my nipples, and I ran my hands up and down his back. He entered me at the same time he stuck his tongue into my mouth, and I spread my legs wide as I sucked on his tongue. I felt him push into me slowly, and the sweet pain of him breaking through my barrier and entering me was almost too much to take. He stared into my eyes as he moved inside of me, and I cried out as the full length of him slid in and out of me exquisitely. My whole body was on fire, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to scream out in pleasure or cry from the slight pain of him stretching me. He grabbed a hold of my hands, and he lifted his body off me slightly so that he could reposition himself. I looked up at him through hazed eyes, and he grinned down on me.
“Tell me if it gets to be too much.” He whispered before he bent down and started kissing the side of my neck. He increased his pace, and suddenly my body was quivering from the inside out, each nerve ending was crying out in ecstasy as he plunged into me, each time harder and deeper, and I closed my eyes so that I wouldn’t burst into tears of happiness. I had never felt so alive and so connected to him before. And then it happened, the trembling began, and I felt something moving from my stomach downwards, almost feeling like I needed to pee. My eyes popped open, and I couldn’t stop my moans. He plac
ed a hand over my mouth and grinned down at me as he continued moving on top of me. All of a sudden, I felt a huge release, and I screamed out, biting his hand in the process. He pushed into me a few more times and then collapsed next to me, breathing heavily.
“That was amazing,” I leaned over and ran my hand down the side of his sweat-covered face.
“Was it?” He looked at me with a concerned face. “It didn’t hurt too much, did it?”
“No,” I shook my head and grinned slightly. “It was perfect.” He pulled me towards him, and I nestled my head in the crook of his arms. His body felt warm and sweaty, and he smelled like sex. I giggled to myself as I realized that my first time had lived up to the hype. I was only sad that we hadn’t had sex earlier.
“You’re not upset that you didn’t wait until marriage, are you?” His voice sounded worried, and I looked up at him and gave him a quick kiss.
“You’re the only one for me, Nick Sanders. I’m not upset that we didn’t wait until marriage. You’re the only man for me, so it doesn’t matter.”
“I love you, Snitch.” He stared down at me with his eyes sparkling, and his hand ran down my back to my bottom. “This is the beginning of our new life together.”
Chapter 5
Two Years Ago
When We Broke Up
“You never come home anymore, Snitch.” His voice sounded annoyed, and I felt a headache coming on. I couldn’t have this argument with him again. Didn’t he understand how busy I was? Didn’t he understand that I didn’t have time to drop everything just to see him?
“I have work to do. I can’t just come home every weekend. You can come and visit me, you know.” I muttered angrily, frustrated that it was always me that was supposed to make the trip.
“You know I have a job.” He sounded angry as well and I didn’t respond. There was silence on the phone then and I could hear him breathing heavily.
“I can’t help that, Nick.” I looked at the stack of books in front of me and sighed. “Look, I really have to go. I have a test to study for.”
The Promise of Tomorrow Page 2