by M. Clarke
I found the courage to stand next to him and place my hand on his shoulder. “Matthew, please say something.”
“Becca,” he said, inhaling a deep sigh, “I need some space right now.” Without looking at me, he walked out the door with his head down.
I dropped to the floor where he left me and sobbed into the palms of my hands. My pounding heart hurt like hell, traveling through every nerve, bone, and muscle in me. Matthew was simply gone. He said he needed space, but he might as well have said we were done, because that was how it felt. All of my energy had been spent pouring out the gut-wrenching ache through my tears. I didn’t know how long I sat there crying, but I sat there until there were no more tears to be shed. When they ran out, I cried more empty tears.
Matthew
I could not believe what was happening. Fate had fucked me big time. What the fuck? What were the odds of Becca’s deceased roommate killing my Tessa? I was in so much shock that I couldn’t remember what I had said. All I knew was that I needed air; to get away to think and soak the news in.
With keys in my hand, I was already at my front door. I had no idea how I got home. Pouring myself a drink, I didn’t know how I was going to remain calm while visiting Tessa with her sister. It would feel like I was hiding a secret. Though it wasn’t Becca’s fault, the connection was just so freakin’ weird. I was dating the girl who was best friends with the girl that killed Tessa.
I sat on the sofa, tilted my head back, and spread my legs. Grabbing a sofa pillow, I hugged it tightly, as if it would help get rid of my frustration. I was holding it so tightly that I could see my veins protruding. This wasn’t happening. It felt like my whole world was crumbling. Not only that, it felt like Tessa had died all over again.
It was bad enough already knowing the name of the girl that killed her, but it was worse when Amber somehow became more than just a name that I hated. I didn’t know anything about her, but now she was taking a physical form. I never knew or wanted to know what she looked like, but now I could see her standing next to Becca even though she was dead.
“Fuck!” I hurled the pillow across the living room so hard that it made a loud thump noise as it bounced off the wall.
If Becca and I were to get through this, I had to suck it up and try to get Amber out of the picture. I just needed time to wear off the shock. Too tired to move or think, I decided to call Becca tomorrow. I was pretty sure she needed time to take in the news, too.
Chapter 16
Jenna
“Becky, you look beautiful in that dress,” I said when she came out of her room. She gave me a smile, but it was forced. A week had passed since Matthew walked out and he hadn’t called. Becky tried to hide that there was something troubling her, but I knew Matthew was the reason when I saw the same look on his face at work. Finally Becky confessed and I tried to comfort her the best I could, but no amount would suffice.
Though it was none of my business, I had asked Matthew why he looked so out of it, and he told me that he had a lot on his mind and was busy getting ready for the Australia fashion show. That was true because we were working overtime in our department, but Matthew worked mostly out of the office. I wondered if he was avoiding me or needed time alone.
“I told Max to meet us there, so I can drive,” I said, standing by the door with my coat and purse. “Ready to go?”
Becky grabbed her coat off the sofa. “You don’t have to drive me there. And you don’t have to feel like you need to stay with me. I’m fine.”
She really wasn’t. Not just her eyes, but her whole face looked puffy. The bags under her eyes made her look twice her age and she’d hardly put on any makeup. She looked like she was going to a funeral instead of a wedding rehearsal.
“Max has a lot of work to do anyway, so don’t worry.” I turned the doorknob. “And plus, that way I can stick around longer.”
Becky’s eyes scanned my body. “How’s the morning sickness? Any better? You’re still skinny. You need to start eating more for the baby.”
Why was it that people who had no idea about pregnancy made comments as if they knew what they were talking about? “Actually, I started feeling a bit better today. And don’t worry, I’ll become fatter by the second trimester.”
“Okay, sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I don’t even know what I’m talking about. In fact, I really don’t want to go tonight.” Becky started tearing. “I’m so sorry. It’s just that…”
Seeing Becky like this reminded me of a time when we were in college. Reaching for her, I held her tightly in my arms, and I couldn’t help my own tears. I didn’t want her to see me crying, too, so I did my best to hide them. “It’s okay. I know you’re hurting. Matthew needs time. He didn’t say anything to me, but I could tell he’s also hurting. He just needs to wear out the shock.” I had no idea what I was saying. I only hoped I was making enough sense for Becky to understand. “He loves you. That’s why he’s hurting. Everything will work out in the end.”
Becky nodded and let go. As we both wiped our tears, we walked out together.
After the wedding rehearsal, the whole party went to the restaurant located inside a hotel in Beverly Hills. Nicole was glowing with happiness and Keith looked relaxed as they sat near the head of the table. The rectangular table was long enough to accommodate the whole party, but we had to lean forward to see the people toward the end.
Max texted me, letting me know he was in traffic, then the next text I got was to meet him by the lobby. When I got there, Max was nowhere to be seen. It was a good thing I had brought my phone so I texted him back.
I’m here, but you’re not.
I’m here.
I glanced around again. This lobby wasn’t that big. Where was he?
Are you sure you’re at the right hotel?
My beautiful view tells me that I am. And may I add how I love you in that red dress.
My husband to be bought it for me.
What a lucky man.
I’m very lucky to have him.
Maybe I’ll get lucky tonight and steal you away from him.
View? I peered up to the second level. No sign of Max.
Were you on the second level?
I was a second ago. You’re too slow.
Laughing to myself and shaking my head, I texted back. You better show yourself or I’ll leave.
Go back. I’ll be right there.
Got it. Going.
As I headed back to the restaurant, I made a quick stop in the restroom and started the long walk down the hall. Suddenly, I was snatched from the side.
“Max,” I screamed, feeling my heart leap out of my chest.
Max’s arms around my body calmed my nerves. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. We were in a secluded corner, so no one could see us if they were glancing by.
“Sorry, babe. What took you so long? I thought someone kidnapped you.” He grinned.
“I stopped by the restroom.”
Max’s brows twitched. “Anyone in there?”
“Max,” I squealed, knowing what he was implying. “Why are you hiding in this corner?”
“I just want to see you privately before I go in there with you. I haven’t seen you in four days. You’re torturing me.”
“I missed you, too, but Becca is so miserable. I couldn’t just leave her by herself.”
Max’s naughty hands were all over me while his lips tenderly kissed me gently on my face and neck, as if to savor this moment and me. “I know. I understand. Matthew told me what happened, but I think what Becky is telling you and what Matthew is telling me are two different stories. Becky needs to stop being stubborn and answer Matthew’s phone calls.”
“What?” I pulled away. “What do you mean? Becky told me that Matthew wanted space.”
We both looked confused. Max’s brows crinkled. He had no idea how sexy he looked right now. “Matthew did tell Becky he needed space, but he called her a couple of days later. She wouldn’t answer his phone calls. He e
ven went to your apartment and there was no answer.”
None of this made sense. Who was telling the truth? I would bet my money on Matthew; Becky liked to punish herself. That was how she liked to deal with guilt. Now I knew the whole picture.
“We need to get back,” I said, tugging him out of the corner.
“Not so fast. I didn’t get enough. I need a little bit more.”
There were no words after that. Max let me know how much he missed me. I was getting to the point that I wanted to drag him to the ladies room with me or even the men’s room; I didn’t care which one. His hard passionate kisses and his hands touching every sensitive area got me completely unglued.
Tilting my head back, I gave Max easier access. “Max, there’s no one in the ladies’ room right now.” I had no idea what had come over me. There was no way I would have ever suggested this before.
Max’s eyes lit up with a wicked grin. “Are you sure?”
“I want you,” I purred. “I want you inside of me right now, but make it quick.”
There was no need to convince him further. He was already hot and ready. Taking my hand, we snuck into the restroom. Max took me to the last stall and turned me to face the wall. After he unzipped his pants and pulled down my panties, he was in. They said that pregnancy hormones would not only make you horny but also extra sensitive. Oh hell yes! I was already climaxing, but Max didn’t know how much. Having to hold in my cries of pleasure only made me breathe harder.
“I want to rip your dress off you,” he groaned into my hair.
I moaned from his words and tilted my head sideways. Getting a better view of him, our lips were able to touch. Max’s tongue took control and conquered my mouth, inside and out.
Max held me tightly. I could feel his hot breath against the side of my neck as he pumped faster and harder. “I’m going to have to end this soon, babe. We’ll continue after dinner. This is no good. I need to touch your skin. I want every part of me touching you.”
With a soft groan and growl, Max had his climax. Looking pleased and contented, he kissed my lips. He nudged lovingly with his nose to mine and gave me one more kiss before we took off, laughing like teenagers.
After the introduction and greetings, Max took his reserved seat next to mine. I tried to ignore the looks Nicole’s friends and relatives were giving Max, but it was very evident when all I could see was the sparkle in their eyes and their flirtatious smiles. It was something I had to get used to. Max was not only good looking, he took very good care of his body. And every inch of him showed that he did.
When he took off his suit jacket, his form fitted white dress shirt that curved to his ripped chest was drool worthy. Besides the young ladies, even Nicole’s mother and mother-in-law-to-be were staring. I had to remind myself that I didn’t need to be jealous. I was going to be Mrs. Maxwell Knight soon, and the mother of his child.
Dinner was delicious and the conversation was light. Everyone seemed to be having a great time, and surprisingly, even Becky. She was flirting with a guy she was paired up with to walk down the aisle. It didn’t help that he was heavily flirting with her as well. I knew she was enjoying the attention, especially with what was happening with Matthew. She was trying to forget him.
“Who are you walking down the aisle with tomorrow?” Max whispered into my ear.
“His name is Andy and he’s sitting right across from you,” I whispered back.
Immediately, Max let go of his hand from mine and wrapped his arms around my shoulder. Pulling me closer, he planted a kiss on my lips that made the other women gawk with jealousy. Max had no idea they were drooling; he was too concerned about letting Andy know that I was his.
“Max, what are you doing?” I asked softly so that only he could hear.
“I’m letting Mandy know that you’re mine.” Max nibbled my ear.
“His name is Andy...Andy,” I stressed. Max had a habit of making up names. Laughing to myself, I played into his game. “You’re just jealous because he gets to walk me down the aisle first.”
Max snarled. Thank goodness everyone was holding small conversations, so hopefully no one heard, but I knew Becky did when she flashed her eyes to Max. “Mandy, Sandy, I don’t care what his name is. I don’t like the way he looks at you, and I don’t like the way he smiles at you. And you’re right. I don’t like the thought of anyone walking you down the aisle besides me.” Max leaned forward, smiling, pretending our conversation didn’t take place.
“He’s just being nice.”
“He better be nice to you, but not in a way I wouldn’t like.” Max guided my left hand out across the table, letting my engagement ring shine against the candlelight, making sure Andy got a clear sight of it. Little did Max know that Andy had already seen my engagement ring during the wedding rehearsal, but I didn’t stop him.
I loved how Max was being jealous. I was the one who was observant of how women gawked at him, but Max seemed to never notice…either that or it didn’t faze him. He didn’t care. Seeing how he acted around other women when they tried to get his attention only confirmed that I could trust in his love for me, that it was genuine. I was the lucky one, the one who was carrying his child. I couldn’t be happier.
Matthew
As I washed up to get ready for bed, I looked up from the sink to see a tired face in the mirror. What happened? Becca and I were so happy one minute, and the next thing I knew, we were apart. I couldn’t believe I was at this low point again. This only confirmed how much Becca meant to me. How much I’d fallen in love with her in such a short period of time.
Becca still would not take my calls or texts, nor would she open the door when I came by her apartment. When I used the spare key to enter, the other lock was set and I couldn’t get in. I’d made a big mistake when I left her. Knowing Becca, she had taken it the wrong way, but in that heated moment, I was not thinking clearly.
At first I thought I should give her space, but that was not what she needed. What she needed was for me to comfort her, to make her feel less guilty, to let her know that I still loved her. Now, it seemed as though she didn’t want anything to do with me.
It was Nicole’s wedding rehearsal and there was still no call from Becca to remind me to be there. Even when I texted her asking about the location, she didn’t respond. This confirmed that Becca didn’t want me in her life, and that hurt me more than anything. I’d hurt her big time, and I had no idea how to fix this. I also knew that guilt was eating at her. She was most likely thinking that she’d killed Tessa, and that she and I shouldn’t be together.
Recalling that day, I should have gone back to her place and patched things up, but when I met up with Teresa, she gave me the shock of my life. Then I’d needed a couple of more days to myself; a little more time to grieve...a little bit more time to let go and heal so that I could give Becca all of me again.
“Matthew, I have to tell you something,” Teresa said.
I snapped out of my thoughts of Becca and focused my eyes on Tessa’s gravestone. I didn’t say a word; instead, I waited for her to continue.
“Tessa didn’t want to tell you. You were both so young, and she knew you didn’t...the reason why she insisted that you got married so quickly …” Teresa let out a heavy sigh. “I promised I wouldn’t say a word. She was supposed to tell you the day she was in the accident. I’m not telling you to make you feel guilty. I know how much you loved her.”
My heart skipped a beat and my blood pressure shot up. I had this gut feeling I knew where this conversation was headed, but I didn’t say a word. Hoping that I was wrong, I let her finish. Oh God! Please let me be wrong!
“I debated for a long time if I should tell you, and I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t want you to have more guilt, but I can’t do this anymore. It’s eating at me, but I think you can handle the news I’m about to tell you. You have the right to know. Tessa was pregnant. It was the reason why she wanted to have the wedding a lot earlier. I’m so sorry, Matthew
. She’s gone and there’s nothing you can do. I want you to live your life and find someone who was meant for you.”
Our conversation took me back, and now it seemed clear why Tessa was in a hurry to get married. We were so young. I knew for sure I wouldn’t have been ready to be a father back then, but that wasn’t the point. I felt like I’d not only lost Tessa, but my child as well. It hurt like hell. I felt robbed, jaded by this girl I’d hated for the past several years. And not only that, she turned out to be Becca’s friend. What the fuck?
I wondered what my life would have been like with Tessa. We would have had a daughter or a son; our child would have been about the age of two. However, that was then and this was now. No way was I going to let Amber get in the way of my happiness again. This time, I was going to take ownership of my destiny.
Enough was enough. I’d given Becca space; now it was time for me to take charge. We had a huge bump in the road, but it was time to get back on track. If we couldn’t get through this, then we wouldn’t be able to get through what life threw at us, and I was sure there would be plenty of other bumps ahead. I loved Becca, and she needed to know. How to get her to see me was the question. I didn’t want to get Jenna involved, but I was desperate. Just as I was about to text Jenna, there was a knock at the door.
“You look like shit.” Max pushed the door wider and walked in.
“Thanks. It good to see you, too.” I rolled my eyes.
“Hi, Matthew.” Jenna smiled, seeming unsure if she should be there. Her eyes were full of pity. Did I look that bad? She followed Max. Since they were both dressed up, I figured they’d stopped by before heading to their place. Sometimes I regretted living a floor below Max, especially at times like this.
“Come in,” I said after the fact. “It’s kind of late for a visit, don’t you think?”
Jenna and Max had made themselves comfortable on the sofa, all snuggled up in each other’s arms.
“It’s kind of late to drink, don’t you think?” Max added.