Can't Find My Way Home

by Carlene Thompson

  When she reached the Ellis home, Miss Kern took her upstairs to Edmund’s room. He was sitting up in his bed, looking alarmingly thin and ashen. He ordered Miss Kern to leave and asked Brynn to sit on the bed so they could talk quietly. He sneezed and reached for a bottle of pills. Brynn handed him a glass of water and he swallowed four of them.

  ‘Do you need so many?’ she asked.

  He smiled at her. ‘They’re just antihistamines. They help this damnable cold I can’t shake, but I’ve built up a tolerance to them. Don’t worry – I’ve been a doctor long enough to know what I’m doing.’

  ‘You don’t look well,’ Brynn said gently.

  ‘I thought you were too mad at me to care how I looked,’ he said without rancor.

  ‘So did I,’ Brynn answered. ‘I guess I don’t know myself as well as I thought. I loved you when I was young, almost as much as I loved my father.’

  Edmund winced. ‘I know. I loved you, too. I still do. That’s why I have to tell you the truth about something. The time’s finally come.’

  Oh no, Brynn thought. This is about the Genessa Point Killer. She reached in her purse and turned off her cell phone. He’s going to tell me what I’ve wanted to know for so long, she thought, but suddenly I’m not sure I want to hear it. She said nothing, frightened into silence, her cold hands clenched, her face feeling frozen.

  ‘You know, my wife Iris had a stillborn baby when Joy was five. Iris was seven months pregnant and it hadn’t been an easy pregnancy. I’d told her to just rest until her labor started, but she had a compulsion about cleaning. She climbed halfway up on a stepladder to dust the top of a bookshelf and fell. The bookshelf turned over on her. Her leg was broken, she had a concussion and … and the baby was born dead. In spite of the fall, the baby could have been saved, but Iris was unconscious and hemorrhaging until Joy found her when she got home from kindergarten.’

  Brynn had been eight when Mrs Ellis lost her baby. She remembered crying because she loved the Ellises and couldn’t wait for them to have another baby. Her mother hadn’t told her how the baby died, though. She’d said that sometimes these things just happened.

  ‘I wasn’t perfect, but I tried not to blame her for the baby’s death,’ Edmund went on. ‘After all, I should have gotten a private nurse for her, someone to keep her from being reckless. Iris’s own mother came to help, though, and never let up on her. She piled on the guilt. I couldn’t understand it until my mother-in-law told me Iris had a drinking problem before we got married – no one had mentioned it to me because they were afraid I wouldn’t marry her. She said she was sure Iris was drinking again – that’s why she’d climbed up on that ladder. All I know is that after the stillbirth, Iris started sneaking in bottles of liquor. She wasn’t careful about hiding them and sometimes I found them.’ He turned his head and looked into Brynn’s eyes. ‘My mother-in-law was a destructive woman. I banned her from the house, but Iris was emotionally fragile. After the baby, after the drinking started, she was never the same.’

  ‘Is that why she pulled away from my mother? They used to be best friends.’

  Edmund nodded.

  ‘I asked Mom why she never came to visit anymore. Mom told me that Iris was very busy and couldn’t visit as much as she used to do. I missed her. I know Mom did, too, but looking back, I think she suspected the drinking.’

  Edmund nodded again at Brynn, sneezed then pointed to his water glass. She handed it to him and he took two more pills. ‘Had them in my pocket,’ he said and winked.

  ‘Maybe I should call Miss Kern.’

  He shook his head. ‘She’s a tyrant. Besides, this is important. I have to say it now.’

  Edmund swallowed more water, then stared ahead again, as if he was gathering his thoughts. ‘The day your father … died, Joy was supposed to have a piano lesson. I’d gone to the hospital early for an emergency. After I left home, Marguerite left a message on the answering machine saying she was canceling Joy’s lesson.’ He went silent again for a moment. ‘Iris later admitted she’d had a sip of bourbon for breakfast. She didn’t know how to have a sip of anything alcoholic. Anyway, she didn’t play the message. She took Joy to her lesson and didn’t walk the child to the door. She just let Joy out of the car, told her to go knock on the door and she’d be back in an hour to pick her up.’

  ‘I’d spent the night with Cassie, Mark was on a school trip, and Dad was fishing,’ Brynn said softly, almost as a way of delaying what she thought she might hear.

  ‘I know. Joy said no one came to the door. She thought she was too early and went into the woods. She didn’t know you’d come home. She was bending down, picking a bouquet of wild violets for your mother, when she heard someone scream.’ He swallowed hard. ‘Joy saw a girl with her back turned toward her. Joy was frightened and flattened herself into the high grass and vines. She was such a little thing, you remember …’

  ‘Yes,’ Brynn said tremulously. She could hardly breathe.

  ‘Well, she just lay there, literally scared stiff, but still watching. After the second scream, your father ran into the woods. Joy said the girl was still standing and, when your father reached her, she stabbed him in the neck. Once. Twice. Then they began to wrestle for the knife. The fight spun the girl around and Joy recognized her.’ Edmund looked at Brynn, his cloudy gray eyes filling with tears. ‘There was a third person in the woods that day, but not a killer. It was my little Joy and she saw Tessa Cavanaugh murder your father.’

  NINETEEN

  Brynn felt as if she couldn’t get enough air to breathe. She made a couple of strangling noises until her lungs seemed to inflate, filling her with startling, dizzying oxygen. Edmund reached out and took her arm, asking, ‘Should I call for Miss Kern?’

  Brynn shook her head. She couldn’t stand a barrage of questions about how she was doing, someone taking her pulse, someone looking into her eyes with a tiny light. When she felt she could speak again, she asked, ‘Joy was certain she saw Tessa stab my father? No one else was there? Dad just ran into the woods after she screamed and Tessa stabbed him?’

  Edmund nodded. ‘Joy was a very truthful little girl. She would never have claimed to see Tessa stab your father if she hadn’t. She said after they started fighting, they fell on the ground. Then she said everything got “mixed up.” That’s what she called it. Jonah got the knife – that must have been when he managed to stab Tessa just above the kidney – and then they fought some more and finally Tessa stopped fighting. Your father left the woods before Tessa did, according to Joy.’

  ‘I saw Dad come out of the woods and then Tessa.’ Brynn swallowed hard. ‘I was so shocked I ran to him. I thought he was already dead. Tessa was crying, begging. Then I called the police, so it was probably fifteen to twenty minutes later before they arrived. I never saw Joy, though, and she didn’t come to the house.’

  Edmund closed his eyes and tears ran down his cheeks. ‘That was part of the trauma. Iris went to sleep and didn’t go back for Joy in an hour. I got home four hours after Iris should have picked her up and found Iris passed out. Drunk. At first she kept claiming she’d picked up Joy. I couldn’t find her, though. I was frantic. I called your house. A man – probably a policeman – answered the phone. I heard a lot of hubbub in the background. I was startled and, before I could say a word, Joy stumbled into our house. She’d hidden in the woods until she heard what she said were “a lot of men” coming. That must have been the police and she was frightened, so she finally took off for home. She’d dodged and hidden all the way. She was nearly hysterical and exhausted.’

  ‘Didn’t you call the police then?’

  ‘As I said, Joy was almost hysterical and so weak. All I could think about was her. I had to get her calmed down – her heart, you know. I didn’t even risk taking her to the hospital – I had everything I needed at home. While I was taking care of her, she babbled out the story. When she was finished, she didn’t speak again for three days.’ He asked for his water again, but this time he only si
pped without taking any pills. ‘After Joy had told me what she saw, then went silent, I called someone and asked what was going on at your house. They told me Tessa Cavanaugh had killed Jonah Wilder when he attacked her. I knew that’s not what had happened, but I didn’t say anything.’

  ‘Why not?’ Brynn demanded.

  ‘Shock. Confusion. Mostly concern for my child. I sat up all night deciding what I should do. Joy was only seven, Brynn. I could picture her telling a story about a fifteen-year-old girl killing a grown man – a badly injured fifteen-year-old girl, no less.’ He looked at Brynn. ‘Would you have believed Joy?’

  Brynn thought about it for a moment, then said, ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘I couldn’t take the chance that the police wouldn’t believe her and, even if they did, I could not put my little girl in a courtroom. She would have been more traumatized emotionally and the risk to her heart – well, it would have been bad enough for a healthy child, but Joy was so delicate.’

  ‘But she had to tell the truth, Edmund! Did you think it was better for her to keep it bottled up inside for the rest of her life? And didn’t you feel any obligation to us? My God, Dad was your best friend. What about Dad?’

  ‘What about Tessa?’ For the first time, Edmund’s voice sounded almost normal. ‘What if no one believed Joy and Tessa was left free? Don’t you think she would have retaliated against Joy?’

  ‘Not if she wanted people to believe her, not Joy!’

  Edmund had gotten so agitated, his breath grew ragged and his hands shook. Brynn raised his arm and held it softly against her chest. ‘Give your voice a rest. Do you want more water?’ Edmund shook his head. ‘Then just lay quietly for a few minutes. I won’t leave.’

  ‘I don’t have time to rest. Not yet.’ Edmund looked at her beseechingly. ‘I did your family a terrible wrong. I said I didn’t know anything about Jonah losing that knife with his initials. But I did. I knew it had been gone for a couple of years before he was killed with it.’

  Brynn stiffened. ‘Why did you lie?’

  ‘Because I had a little girl to protect. That’s why I sent her away. When she started talking again, she described the stabbing, over and over. She drew pictures of it … all the time. All the time …’

  Edmund seemed to be slipping away. Brynn shook his arm. ‘Edmund, I understand that you wanted to protect Joy, but you should have told the truth!’

  He looked at her and she could see the pain behind his eyes. ‘Dear, telling the truth wouldn’t have brought your father back. All it would do was put you and Mark and Marguerite in the same danger as Joy. I did all I could think of – I bought your house three months after you moved to Baltimore. Sam Fenney and I came up with a corporation and a real estate company. The real estate company supposedly bought the house. Your mother would never have let me buy it outright, but I knew how desperately the three of you needed money.

  ‘As for not telling the truth about that knife, the case was closed even though a lot of people didn’t think Jonah was the Genessa Point Killer. Sheriff Dane wouldn’t have listened to what I had to say anyway. It didn’t amount to much and certainly wouldn’t have counted as evidence. Dane had his mind made up about your father after Tessa. He’d always hated your father, but Tessa gave him a reason to say that he hated Jonah.’

  ‘Why did William Dane hate my father?’

  ‘You don’t know? No, of course you don’t. Your mother would never have told you. William Dane fell in love with her when they were teenagers. At least, he loved her as much as he was capable of loving. That’s not saying much. They went out a few times and suddenly he was determined they’d get married. He asked her and she said no, but she didn’t tell me about it – Iris did. When your mother was twenty-one, your father came to Genessa Point. Your mother played piano in church. That’s where they met. Six months later, she married him. It was obvious she adored Jonah. William Dane was so furious I thought he’d kill your father. Instead, he married a sweet, diffident little widow ten years older than he was and he completely dominated her. They had one boy – one handsome, intelligent son – and William made his life miserable. Garrett hated his father with good reason, but Garrett’s a fine person, Brynn. He’s nothing like his father.’

  ‘Then when he became sheriff, why didn’t you tell him your story?’

  ‘It had been so long ago. I didn’t think he’d believe me. I’d never left Genessa Point and didn’t move near Joy because it was bad for the child to be near Iris. My wife was so conscience-stricken she’d always retreat into booze when she was near Joy. It upset Joy terribly, so I kept Joy away as much as possible and tried to rehabilitate Iris, but it was useless.

  ‘Finally, about six months after Iris died from cirrhosis, Joy’s health began declining. She couldn’t work anymore and she’d never married, so last year she came home. I thought I could make her comfortable and happy, but she’d felt so guilty all those years that, right before she died, she sent a letter to your brother telling him all about Tessa killing your father. That’s why Mark came back. Joy died four days before he arrived, and he might have thought she hadn’t been in her right mind, but I told him the truth.’

  Edmund’s jaw clenched. ‘That devil found out Mark was here. Watched him come to this house, figured I’d told Mark the truth, and kidnapped him. Called me and told me if I said anything to police, Mark would be dead like his father. So I’ve waited. I didn’t go to the police. I’ve tried to get you to leave so the same thing doesn’t happen to you, but you won’t go. Stubborn. Stubborn like your brother. Jonah’s children, almost like my own, and I let them down.’ Edmund’s voice became even weaker and thinner. ‘Let both of you down.’

  ‘Do you know where Mark is?’ Brynn almost shouted. ‘Who’s the devil? Tessa?’

  But Edmund was barely breathing. Brynn called for Miss Kern. Within ten minutes the nurse had checked Edmund, sternly told Brynn he’d been taking sleeping pills, not pills for a cold, and was searching for the cord she’d taken from the landline phone beside Edmund’s bed. ‘I didn’t want him making calls or getting calls. He needed rest!’ Miss Kern told Brynn.

  The cord had slipped under the bed and while Miss Kern tried to reach it, Brynn grabbed her cell phone out of her purse, turned it on and dialed 911. She then handed the cell phone to the nurse so Miss Kern could give details of the patient’s condition and the address.

  How stupid she’d been, Brynn condemned herself. She would have known Edmund wasn’t taking pills for a cold if she hadn’t been more concerned with getting information about the past than concern for the sick man right in front of her.

  When the EMS squad arrived, Edmund looked dead but the paramedics assured her he wasn’t. They moved him from his house to an ambulance as fast as possible and took off, Miss Kern riding in the back of the ambulance with Edmund.

  Brynn walked to the patrol car and tried Garrett’s phone. He answered. ‘Oh, Garrett,’ Brynn nearly sobbed. ‘I’m at Edmund Ellis’s house. He’s in a very bad way.’ She heard a low beeping sound. ‘Is that your phone battery?’

  ‘It’s low. Too many phone calls this last hour.’

  ‘Where are you?’

  ‘Brynn, I want you to stay calm. Don’t call Cassie immediately. Promise me.’

  ‘Cassie? OK, I promise.’

  ‘I’m about fifteen miles north of town. We found Ray O’Hara’s truck. He went off the road and rolled over a steep embankment. The truck wasn’t spotted until a couple of hours ago.’ Garrett took a breath. ‘He’s alive in spite of some serious injuries from the wreck, but he’s unconscious. We’ve found a lot of cocaine in his truck and the paramedics say he shows evidence of having been on coke. That’s probably why he wrecked it.’

  ‘He left the carnival like a bat out of hell after he saw Rhonda die on the Ferris wheel, Garrett,’ Brynn said slowly. ‘I know he was her supplier. That’s why she was sleeping with him. Sex for drugs.’

  ‘I think so, too. If Cassie knows about his wreck now,
she’ll probably get in the middle of things. Let’s keep this between us until he’s settled at the hospital.’

  ‘Good idea.’

  ‘What were you trying to tell me before my battery beeped?’

  ‘Edmund told me something about Tessa. And I talked to Mark’s friend in Baltimore. He said something about a car wreck caused by a mannequin.’ Her voice was shaking. ‘But Garrett, listen, Edmund told me that Tessa—’

  ‘A mannequin? Yeah, I remember that. What about Tessa?’ The beeping sound again. ‘I don’t have time now.’

  ‘But—’ More beeping.

  ‘Later. I should check on Savannah. Mrs Persinger is staying with her at our house.’

  ‘I’ll check on Savannah. Garrett, Tessa—’

  ‘Take care of yourself, Brynn. Besides Savannah, you’re the most important—’

  The phone went dead.

  Brynn asked the young patrolman to take her to Cassie’s. She needed to calm down and then call to check on Savannah rather than face the girl now. Brynn realized her hands were trembling and she looked drained. Savannah didn’t need to see her this way. A block from Cassie’s house, Brynn glanced at her watch. 4:45 p.m. Cassie had told Brynn she’d be staying an hour late at the shop this evening. That was a relief. By the time she got home, Ray would probably be in the hospital.

  Still, these thoughts only skimmed over the deeper knowledge that Tessa had deliberately lured Brynn’s father into the woods to stab him. But why? Brynn hadn’t realized until now that she’d been certain Tessa had deliberately stabbed Jonah. She’d told everyone, including herself, that a third person had killed her father. But deep in her mind, she hadn’t believed it. And she’d been right. There hadn’t been a third adult in the woods – only a terrified seven-year-old girl.