The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 2

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The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 2 Page 35

by Charles Dean


  “Eighteen? So this happened recently then?” Darwin asked out of curiosity, but quickly regretted it.

  “No, this was three years ago. Why are you asking?” Kitchens’ tone turned cold, and his chest almost seemed to puff up a bit as he moved closer to Darwin, staring him dead in the eye. “You’re not thinking of making advances on my daughter, are you? Two girls not enough? Are you trying for a third?”

  “Uh, no. No, sir,” Darwin found himself feeling more than just slightly intimidated, but as soon as he said ‘no,’ Kitchens let him know that he was just joking and patted him on the shoulder with a good laugh. “Good. Because I think a man of good taste should prefer even his alcohol to be over twenty years old. Be back soon.” Kitchens faded.

  Darwin looked back at the entrance of the cave, seeing that the Blue-Drakes were beginning to spawn again. He knew he still had work ahead of him. He was happy Kitchens had been the first to log on. The Blue-Drake strategy would definitely improve their chances of winning by giving the greatest warriors a chance to shine, but it wasn’t a tactic he could participate in. He needed to be with his people, he couldn’t leave the phalanx ranks. If something went wrong, if something didn’t go as planned, he would need to be with his people, not savaging around on the battlefield like he was used to--and that meant he needed to keep the soul bar topped off at full. After all, I have no idea how long this battle will last or when it will even start, Darwin thought as he made his way towards the cave’s entrance and the newly spawned drakes.

  “There! That’s him! That’s the one! See, I told you! He looks just like I said, doesn’t he?” Darwin was interrupted by shouting just as he finally finished stepping into the lair.

  “He looks nothing like you described, Louie,” another voice said. As Darwin turned around, he saw a group of a dozen or so Humans walking up to him, four familiar faces leading them. “You said he was like ten feet tall, with a tail, wings and horns the size of a man’s head. That man there can’t be more than six feet tall. You even got his eyes wrong! They are just red! Not giant balls of fire! So what on earth are you talking about, saying he looks exactly like you described?”

  “But he’s got horns! And if you saw the determined way he stared at us all, like he could do anything he wanted in the world, you might have thought he was ten feet tall too,” Louie tried to justify.

  “You should have known that the poet would exaggerate the details.” Reginald nudged the outspoken new guy hard enough to knock him off balance. “Your fault for believing him over us to begin with.”

  “I didn’t believe him. I’m just not going to admit that he looks exactly like Louie said.”

  “Well, at least you didn’t completely ignore us and mistake that bossy Alex guy for being the leader. I can’t believe you went up to him bowing and whatnot. I think you were even shaking a bit there, Darnel. Did you think he was going to murder you?”

  “He might have. I don’t know. I heard he chopped your leader in half after being offered tea and crumpets. I had a right to be scared. What if I offered him the wrong gift, or if my gift wasn’t enough? Or what if showing up and offering a gift is simply rude in his mind? You can’t tell what will set a man off, and this man murdered the last person who annoyed him.”

  “He’s got a point there, Steve. Some people are just crazy.”

  “I told you all before that this is not a set up. He’s a nice guy, and our leader was a spy!”

  “Sure, sure. That, or this is all a really elaborate plan to get me back for going on a few dates with your sister and not writing her afterwards,”

  “I wouldn’t get us all killed over you being a jerk. Just you, especially when I tell Darwin what you said about his outfit. What was it again? The only type of grown men who run around with open flaps are perverts and deviants?” Steve grinned, and the whole group laughed at the newcomer.

  “I did not say that! Stop lying! Shush, he can hear us. You’re going to get us killed!”

  “Us? Or just a certain philandering fool who just so happens to be the same guy who hasn’t written my sister in the last three months? The way she pines kinda reminds me of that time you told me that the Great Lord Darwin w--”

  “I’ll writer her! I’ll write her! Just quiet down.” The man’s white face had now fully submerged into a ghostly pale color as the panic continued to spread.

  “Hmm. Maybe you should send her flowers. A real gentleman always sends flowers to a lady he is courting.”

  “I’ll do anything, anything! Just keep it down will--”

  “Excuse me, can I help you?” Darwin said, much bemused by the fact the two were still going at it even though they had already come to a dead stop in front of him.

  “Yes, Lord Darwin, we’re here about the offer you extended us earlier,” Reginald spoke up, butting through the two men, who, upon realizing Darwin was listening to them, both went deathly quiet. “We have come to join you and seek refuge from the Animal Kingdom.”

  “Are you all that have come?”

  “No, Lord Darwin,” one of them spoke up. “Other than us, every one here is either the leader or a co-leader of their band of freedom fighters.”

  “I’d say a few thousand, maybe three at most, Lord Darwin,” Reginald said.

  “So I’m Lord Darwin now?” Darwin suddenly took note of the title change he was receiving from the guards.

  “Well, the angry guy with the spear, Alex, he said that if we didn’t address you properly, he would kill us all,” Louie laughed. “I told him we were old friends, that I was there before you got all horned and whatnot, but he didn’t take no for an answer. Said, ‘You address the Lord Darwin improperly, and I will gut you on the spot.’ Right scary lad you’ve got there.”

  “He’s a great man,” Darwin complimented Alex. Sometimes, I'm not sure who is actually in charge here: me or him, Darwin pondered for a minute. “Well, I’m glad to see you’ve decided to join us. We could use the help.”

  “Help? I’m guessing this has to do with all those scouts that were trying to catch us on our way here,” Reginald took a stab at the Panda King’s reasoning. “I think the Panda King really is going to try to exterminate us once and for all this time.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’ve been told. I’ve also been told that he’ll be here very soon,” Darwin said, remembering how dire Stephanie’s warning had sounded.

  “You’ve been told? By the Golden Goddess? Did she say when? Did she say how many were coming?” All of them started looking at each other rapidly, eyes unsteady and darting. “Lord Darwin, are we going to be safe?”

  Darwin saw their nervous looks. He wanted to say, ‘No, I have no idea if we’re going to be okay.’ He felt like he should honestly answer them and admit, ‘Well, some of you might be okay, but there is a good chance that most of us will die.’ Except, it wouldn’t do any good. They would either all die here or live on with some, perhaps many, having fallen in the upcoming battle. There was no escaping a tyrant with the type of territorial control and army size that Darwin assumed the Panda King actually had. Being honest, telling them the truth--it’ll do nothing more than cause them more pain and suffering than they have already been through. “We’ll be fine. That formation that Alex is training them in, the funny one with the long spears, it will save our lives and slaughter the furballs; but, we could always use more help with the defenses if you have any willing men.”

  They breathed out a sigh of relief in unison. “Well, I can’t say much for the rest of them, but for us, we’re with you until the end, Boss. The Golden Goddess herself deemed you the savior. So if you need our help, we will gladly give it,” one of the new guys said, extending his hand. As Darwin reached out to shake it, he saw the man’s eyes, which were originally brown, brightly flash red. His brown hair darkened into a deep black, and his skin began to pale out from tan to the same type of white that Darwin’s was. “I’m Kirk,” the man said as he shook Darwin’s hand.

  Darwin wasn’t the only one shocke
d by the transformation. Everyone’s mouth kind of dropped as they watched the process. He had seen it before, but it had been a while; and, even so, it was weird seeing it less than an inch away from him.

  “Holy crap,” another one of the leaders said. “It’s just like the Golden Goddess said! Me next! I pledge my ‘legiance too!” he shouted, going through the same transformation as Kirk had.

  “I kind of like my beautiful brown hair,” Louie said, frowning. “Is there a way to join you without giving up my deep, blue eyes? It’s one of the things girls love about me.”

  “Louie, no girl has ever loved your eyes or your poetry. Just sign up,” Steve said as he put forth his hand for Darwin. “I am in. This guy has been a godsend since day one.”

  One after another, they reached their hands out and shook Darwin’s, each going through the same transformation and each being christened with the new Demon racial stats as they joined the StormGuard Alliance.

  “Is it just me,” Reginald said as he stared at his biceps, then jumped up and down before flexing yet again, “or do you guys feel stronger than before? Like everything is lighter and easier?”

  “No, it’s not just you. I feel like I could go all night,” the man who had apparently not stayed with Steve’s sister said, looking at his hands as if they were new to him.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t write my sister after all,” Steve laughed.

  “Well, we’re ready to help out. What do we need to do?” Louie asked, stepping in front of the others. “This is our fight now too. Just tell us how we can help.”

  “For starters?” Darwin started to think. He wanted to shift it all to Alex, to let his loyal general and quartermaster delegate responsibilities, but he knew that wasn’t the way the world was going to work this time. “On average, how good are you guys at archery?”

  “Much better than we are with swords. We’ve been hunting in these woods since we were old enough to crawl. There’s not a man who can pull a bowstring faster than I can,” Reginald proudly bragged, chest puffed out.

  “Then how about you take every man trained with the bow and start fletching arrows out of what is left from the wood we gathered. We’ll put every trained archer, woman and child big enough to pull a bowstring in two groups when the fight starts. The groups will each be positioned behind alternate sets of walls, and we’ll have you rain arrows down upon the enemy once the battle breaks out.” Darwin was actually rather pleased with the idea. Every guard and soldier he had seen in the giant castle city was a melee fighter. He didn’t notice a single one with a bow. If he had over a thousand archers, and the phalanx held, this wasn’t going to be a win: it was going to be a massacre. “Gather up the rest of the able-bodied men and report to Alex for training. We need more warm bodies in the phalanx as soon as possible.”

  “Lord Darwin, did you say women and children too? With the bows?” one of the men he didn’t know yet asked.

  “I did,” he looked over at the man. “Is that going to be a problem?”

  “No, it’s just . . . Women and children don’t usually fight. They usually do other things during battles” He tried to be as well mannered as possible with his excuse.

  “I’ll tell you what . . . ” Darwin said, purposefully dragging out the delay between the word what and the next sentence as he tried to think of one of the cool girl power quotes from old fantasy movies he had watched. “You find me a woman or boy who wants to wait inside the dungeon with no say in whether they live or die, and they’re more than welcome to do it. Otherwise, give them a bow and the freedom to choose for themselves whether or not they want to defend themselves, their friends and their families. Let them choose if they want to die fighting or cowering inside a cave.”

  “I thought you said it wasn’t going to go south?”

  “It will if we start treating everyone like cowards and don’t allow good, able bodies to carry their weight,” Darwin replied with a smirk. With all of the great female adventurers and contributors to quests, it’s amazing that people still hold these type of reservations. I certainly didn’t think Louie’s group had any such issues. They seemed to be more concerned with political correctness than two politicians in a debate.

  “Right, right,” Steve nodded in agreement. “You should know that the Lord Darwin always sends two women to do his dirty work for him, clearing out and prepping enemies before he ever shows up. It was like that when he came to talk to our leader. Before we ever saw him there were two cuties already holding weapons at us. Then he sends another two to go meet up with the other camp. Darwin is always sending women first to do his dirty work.”

  I . . . I did not send them to do my dirty work for me! Darwin almost corrected him, but then decided that he had spent enough time and effort on talking with his new recruits. “Split up into two groups of archers and send the able-bodied men who don’t use a bow to Alex for training. The battle is going to start any minute, and we aren’t aiming for a win. We’re aiming for a massacre,” Darwin did his best commanding voice. “Now.”

  “Yes, Lord Darwin!” the four archers said as they bowed, the others following suit within a second, and the whole group departed. Not realizing that they could still be heard, they started arguing again as soon as they thought they were safe. “You think there will be an official musical instrument for the . . .”

  Darwin, spirits lifted from the discovery of a few thousand additional fighters, given he only had around three hundred and fifty to begin with, made his way back into the dungeon. With everyone starting to turn to him for answers and relying on him now more than ever, he had a lot to think about. Stephanie had promised that everyone could come with them into the real world, but did that include thousands or just the hundreds they initially had? Was there going to be a way to provide food and shelter for every single person who was coming through the portal, or was the world of Tiqpa a better option?

  “Looking glum there, buddy,” Daniel, who was waiting for him near one of the Blue-Drakes, said.

  “Yeah, lot on my mind. Wait, you’re up too?”

  “Of course I am! Kitchens sent the whole group a private message just a few minutes ago. Said today was going to be another epic battle that people wouldn’t want to miss and that you needed our help and would die a terrible, awful death if we didn’t log on and chip in right away. So I figured, ‘If the big boss man needs our help, I best forget about sleeping in and get on right away.’ Don’t know about the others, but I’m sure they’ll be on as soon as they get the message. We got your back, old man, we aren’t going to let you go down without a fight,” Daniel said as he patted Darwin on the back. It was great at cheering Darwin up for a minute, but it also left him feeling a bit torn on another subject.

  He wanted to join them in the main fight, battle with them side by side in what would likely be the greatest epic struggle of swords and fury since they first arrived in this land, but he had to stay with his people. He had to maintain the lines, watch over his troops, and make sure everyone was doing what was needed. As much as the desire for blood and vengeance on the edge of the battle pulled at him, it was not Alex’s responsibility to do everything. It was his. He was going to be the one to bear the responsibility for every person who died on the battlefield in the fight to come.

  “Thanks, it means a lot. Let’s get to work then and see if we can’t level a bit while converting more Blue-Drakes before the battle breaks out,” Darwin said, and the two set about farming the Blue-Drakes again. Unlike before, however, they had help this time. Each zone was already camped by several ZombiDrakes, and, along the way the, others started showing up as well: from Kitchens reappearing with Minx to Valerie and Mclean. The fight hadn’t even started yet, but he was already feeling like he had won.

  Robert:

  Robert sat in his favorite, though rarely used, recliner staring out the window at the encroaching gloom of night outside his home. Even though the sun had set hours ago, and he should have been looking out at an inky darkness, the méla
nge of light cast by street lamps, nearby homes, and the infrequent passing car guaranteed it would never truly be dark. He felt like he had been running an emotional rollercoaster ever since his meeting earlier in the day with Charles. Out of all the possible outcomes he could have envisioned, out of every whimsical fantasy or expectation for how that meeting would turn out, he had never foreseen this one.

  The meeting had gone well enough. In fact, Robert had actually found himself enjoying, by and large, the majority of his little adventure. The ride through the countryside had been fascinating. The sprawling farms and woodland areas outside the city represented a slower, more comfortable lifestyle that Robert had shockingly little experience with. His life and expertise revolved around computers and technology, not the rural country way of life, and Robert was glad to have had the opportunity to catch a glimpse of it, even if it had been from a distance.

  Then, there was also Charles' lavish and expansive estate.The immaculately manicured grounds and carefully tended gardens provided a stylized barrier to the rest of the unrefined countryside in which it was hidden. Robert had been left with the profound impression that if you were to view the area from the air, Charles' estate would stand out like a piece of carefully refined silk sewn into a rough patchwork quilt. The entire purpose of the grounds, of course, was to cloister one of the most grandiose mansions Robert had ever seen from the rest of the prying world. The library alone would have proven enough to make many of the smaller colleges throughout the country jealous. Even now, Robert wished he had been given the opportunity to spend time searching through the thousands of volumes that must have been contained there.

 

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