by Ivy Smoak
"Oh." The little girl was smiling again now. "How about Blue then." She walked over to another pen and pointed to a puppy that was just lying there. He was a tiny thing, about the size of a cat, with white unruly looking fur and bright blue eyes. All the other dogs were running around playing with children in the pen and trying their best to get adopted. And Blue was just...sitting.
He looked up at me with these big sad eyes. His tail wagged once. Twice. And then he looked back down at his paws. I swore I heard him sigh.
"Is there something wrong with him?" I asked.
"I don't know. He just doesn't seem to get along very well with the other puppies. And he's a little scared of all the people I think."
Huh. "Is he depressed or something?"
"Depressed?" The little girl looked up at me. "What does that mean?"
"Sad."
She nodded and looked back at Blue. "Yes, I believe he's very depressed."
I bit the inside of my lip. Blue sighed again like being here was the most exhausting thing in the world. I'd never felt so connected to an animal before. "I'll take him."
"Don't you want to meet him first?" She stepped over the edge of the pen and lifted Blue up into her arms. Blue looked about as happy to be in her arms as he did to be in the pen. Which was not happy at all. She held him out to me.
What did she want me to do? Touch it?
She held him out even farther.
Fine. I lightly patted his head. He was surprisingly soft. "Yup. He's the one. Can you package him up for me?"
She tilted her head to the side. "I can give you a leash."
I hadn't thought this through. Was he supposed to just sit in my car and ruin the leather seats? "Isn't there something to put him in?"
"Oh." She nodded. "There's a pet store down there to the left." She pointed to the store I’d just been in. "You'll be able to find everything you need. And all the puppies that are adopted here today come with a care package. A little bit of food, a collar, and a coupon for dog school. You just need to come sign a few papers with my mom."
Dog school? They needed an education too? I filled out the necessary forms and was given a small bag and the end of Blue's leash.
I stood there staring at Blue. He looked up at me and sighed.
"It'll be fine," I said. "We can be sad together. Let's go get you whatever else dogs need from the pet store."
Blue looked over his shoulder like he was reluctant to leave the chaos of Santa and an animal adoption going on at the same time. I was doing him a favor, didn't he see that?
"Come on, Blue."
He sighed again and followed me.
The young man that had been helping me earlier set me up with everything I could possibly need. So much stuff that he even offered to carry it out to my car for me, which I accepted. I wasn't sure how else to balance everything in my arms while still holding on to Blue's leash.
As we made our way out of the pet store, I stopped. "Wait, don't I need that?" I asked and pointed to a litter box.
"That's for cats." He started walking again.
"Wait." I had an idea. It would be so much easier to scoop up clumps of cat litter than spilled urine. I shifted the dog bed under my arm as Blue sat there sadly. "How absorbent is your cat litter?"
"Uh..." the guy paused. "Pretty absorbent."
"I have a lot of cats," I lied. "And it seems like they always like to pee at the same time. Like their bladders have all synced up. My current litter box isn't doing the job. At all. I need something that can really take a lot. Like...the biggest load you can think of."
The guy gave me a strange look but then grabbed a brand of cat litter off the shelf. "This should do the trick. How many cats do you have?"
How much did cats pee compared to humans? They were physically probably like a tenth of the size. "Ten." Then I realized how crazy that sounded. I basically just told him I was a crazy cat lady. And I was trying my best to not let anyone think I was crazy. I was about to change it to two cats when he started talking again.
"Then you're going to need more than one thing of litter. And you'll probably want another litter box. I'm going to go ring this up and get a cart to take all this stuff to your car."
"Can you add a new scoop too? My cats like to hide it. They like things dirty I guess," I said with a laugh.
He laughed too, grabbed a scoop, and then headed back toward the cash register.
That was easier than I thought it would be. I’d made up a perfect story about why I needed a litter box. He didn't even ask me about my ten cats. The only bad thing was that I didn't have enough cash left to pay for all this crap. And I couldn't withdraw any from my bank because all my accounts were empty. So I had to leave another credit card trail.
But Detective Torres wouldn't think anything of this charge. He knew I had a puppy in the house. And he was a terrible detective. He was all the way in Canada, far far away from my basement.
Blue sighed. "It's okay, Mr. Snuggle..." What had I told Detective Torres the puppy's name was? Pancakes? Dumplings? A woman with a pair of too-tight pants walked past me in the pet store. The pants shoved the fat on her hips up like...oh, right. Muffin. "Let's go home, Mr. Snuggle Muffins."
Chapter 9
Saturday
I set up all the dog stuff I'd just bought in the garage. A bed, food and water dishes, and tons of toys littered the cement floor. I lifted up one of the toys, squeezed it to make the squawking noise that the pet store employee had shown me, and threw it at Snuggle Muffins.
Instead of trying to catch it, or moving at all for that matter, he let the toy bounce off his body. He sighed.
"Okay," I said. "Well, have fun out here." I started to walk away.
Snuggle Muffins followed me to the door. When I opened it and stepped inside he tried to squeeze past my legs, but I successfully blocked his path.
"No. Stay." I pointed my finger at him.
He looked up at me with his big blue eyes and whimpered in the most pathetic way.
The sound went straight to my heart. I guess it was a little cold out. Even though he was basically wearing a fur coat. "Fine. Just this once." I opened the door farther so he could follow me into the kitchen.
The nails on his paws clattered across the tiled floor. I tried not to cringe thinking about how he'd tear up my hardwood floors throughout the rest of the house.
"Only in this room," I said firmly.
He stopped right by my feet and looked up at me expectantly.
"I don't know what you want."
He sighed and lay down at my feet.
Okay, then. I grabbed a Pop-Tart from the pantry. My husband was always very conscious of his sugar intake. He used to make fun of me for starting my day with worthless calories. The idea of torture by sugar sounded fun to me. Maybe I'd just force him to only eat Pop-Tarts for the next few days. I pulled one Pop-Tart from its silver packaging before putting my wig and mask back on.
Snuggle Muffins blinked up at me.
"What?" I said. "It's hard to pull off being blonde." I tried to ignore his stare as I unlocked the basement door.
Snuggle Muffins stood up and started to follow me.
"You have to stay here. You're a distraction."
He just stared at me.
Now I was the one sighing. "Fine. Just this once." How many times was he going to make me say that? I opened the door and we made our way downstairs together.
"Your dog is cute," he said with a smile as soon as I un-gagged him. "What's his name?"
"Snuggle Muffins."
His smile grew. "That's adorable."
My puppy was not adorable. He was a menace like all puppies. Snuggle Muffins sat down by my feet instead of exploring the basement. The little girl at the mall was right. He really did seem depressed.
I turned my attention back to what mattered. "Hungry?" I lifted up the Pop-Tart.
"I'll eat anything. I'm starving."
Well, maybe he'd hate it after having it for the next
few meals. Death by sugar. I lifted it to his lips and watched him take a bite. He licked a crumb off his upper lip and my stomach clenched. It was so easy to picture his tongue on my skin instead. Stop.
"Have you been thinking about Sophia Tremblay?" I asked and pulled the Pop-Tart back to my side.
"I have."
He didn't offer anything else. And all I could think about was...what exactly he was thinking about her. Was he picturing her naked? Thinking about his tongue on her skin instead of mine? I felt the Pop-Tart snap in my hand. Half of it fell to the floor.
For the first time since I'd met him, Snuggle Muffins seemed energetic. The Pop-Tart was in his mouth before I could even tell him "no."
"Is that bad?" I asked as I crouched down next to him. "Is he allowed to eat processed foods?" I touched the underside of Snuggle Muffins' chin to turn his head up to mine. He looked happier than I'd ever seen him. He didn't even sigh.
"It's fine. He's a dog. Dogs' stomachs aren't as sensitive as you probably think."
"But what about puppies' stomachs?"
I was pretty sure he tried to shrug, but his hands were tied too tightly to the chair. "I don't see how that question has anything to do with your dog."
"What?" I dropped Snuggle Muffins’ chin. "He's just a puppy. Maybe I should take him to the vet."
"You definitely don't need to go to the vet. And I'm no expert, but that dog seems real old."
"Really?" I turned back to Snuggle Muffins. "But he's so...small."
"Dogs can be small."
Oh. I stared down at Snuggle Muffins. So maybe he wasn't depressed. Maybe he was just old and slow. There was something about a little old man dog that was a lot more appealing to me than a puppy. I patted his head. Good boy.
"You were asking about Sophia," he said.
I quickly stood up. What was I doing? I didn't have time for my silly old dog. I had business to attend to. "Right, I..."
"I'd never cheat on you. Ever. You have to realize that." His eyes raked down my body.
My stomach clenched again.
His eyebrows lowered slightly. "It's true, I don't remember. But I don’t have to remember to know that I'd never have a side piece. Ever."
I swallowed hard. He didn't actually remember. My husband and I had been through so much together. I thought about the forgotten box in the corner of the basement filled with broken promises and dreams. My husband loved me once. I was his whole world and he was mine. But people changed. We'd changed. He'd gotten new dreams and made promises to women that weren't me.
"You really don't remember?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"You don't remember me at all? Not even a little bit?"
"I’m sorry. You know...you could remind me." His tongue darted out again, licking his upper lip.
I stared for a beat too long.
"Just one kiss," he said.
Was he crazy? Why was he trying to kiss me? He was my hostage, not my house guest. Not that I kissed all my house guests. "That's not a good idea."
"I think it's a great idea. A kiss can be pretty powerful."
I laughed. "Maybe in fairytales."
"Just one kiss. To see if it jogs my memory."
It wouldn't jog anything. I knew that. And yet...I found myself staring at his lips again. What if he was right? What if one kiss could bring it all back? Like Sleeping Beauty? I shook the thought away. My husband and my story was a lot more like Beauty and the Beast. But it was questionable who was the beast after the last two days. I'd wanted to cut off his balls earlier today. I'd waved around pliers and everything. My eyes darted toward his jeans where I'd tried to unzip him.
Snuggle Muffins sighed. I shook my head, trying to dismiss my wandering thoughts. He was right. I needed to focus.
"There's another woman," I said. "It's not just Sophia. Do you remember someone else?"
"No." He lowered his eyebrows. "I can't remember. But if I did something with someone else...I'm here right now asking for your forgiveness. I'm sorry. There's no way it meant anything. It was just an awful mistake. You have to believe me."
Once was a mistake. Twice...twice was no mistake. It had taken me a while to learn the truth about him. And the truth was that it was his job to lie. I couldn't believe anything he said. So I shoved the rest of the Pop-Tart in his mouth so I could have a moment of silence to think. He didn't remember Sophia. Or the local woman. So that left...what? "My bank accounts are all empty. Do you want to tell me about that?" My husband was planning on leaving me. There was no other excuse. I was just lucky I found out soon enough to stop him.
He swallowed down the Pop-Tart and coughed. "Can I have something to drink? That was really dry."
"Answer the question."
"I'm telling you...I don't remember anything. You need to jog my memory somehow."
"Focus."
"I am focused." His gaze drifted to my lips again.
All I could think about was his lips on another woman. I didn't want to play all my cards at once. The Canadian woman was a surprise. I knew more about the other one. I'd even followed her a few times. Don't do it. Don't tell him everything you know and lose the upper hand. I squinted at him. "Do you remember Dr. Collins?" I asked. Fuck, why couldn't I keep my mouth shut?
He shook his head. "How about that drink?"
I was almost relieved that he changed the subject. Hopefully he'd forget the name and I could restart my questioning when my old man dog wasn't distracting me by eating too much sugar. And when he wasn't distracting me by staring at me like that. "You know what...I think I will get you a drink." I walked back over to the stairs, Snuggle Muffins on my heels. "Give me a few minutes."
"I'm not going anywhere."
I laughed, even though I wasn't sure if it was a joke.
He smiled his perfect smile. "You can change back into that other outfit if you want. If it makes you more comfortable."
Was he talking about my comfy pajamas? Did he...like them? I looked down at my skintight jeans and sweater. There's no way he liked them more than what I was wearing.
"You just seem tense when you're not in comfortable clothing. Speaking of which...my jacket is getting a little warm."
I stared at his leather jacket. How could I get that off of him without him overpowering me?
"You could also lose the mask," he said. "There's no reason to hide your beautiful face anymore."
My fingers gripped the handrail. He remembers.
He stared at me.
I stared back.
He slowly raised his left eyebrow, somehow causing me to blink. He'd won the staring contest. He'd won the game. I gave him all the power. He knew about the missing money. About Sophia. About Dr. Collins. He knew me. He'd even met my dog. Shit. "Come on, Snuggle Muffins."
He whimpered as he looked up the stairs.
I followed his gaze. You're not too depressed to climb up stairs. "Come."
Snuggle Muffins plopped down on the floor, rolling onto his back. His tongue fell out the side of his mouth.
Was he playing dead? I looked back at the stairs. I guess the distance was a little intimidating for such a small creature. "Just this once," I said under my breath and lifted him up.
"See you in a few minutes, sweetheart!" he called behind me.
I slammed the door closed and secured the deadbolt.
"Shit!" I tore the mask from my face and threw my wig down onto the counter. "What the hell did you do?" I said to Snuggle Muffins.
He sighed and sat down next to my feet.
"This is your fault. You distracted me by eating that Pop-Tart."
I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to ease a headache coming on. I'd promised to bring down a drink. And I had a clever idea to give him all the alcohol so he'd get loose lips. But now I was more concerned that I'd get the loose lips.
My doorbell rang, causing me and Snuggle Muffins to both jump.
Who could that be? Detective Torres had said he wouldn't be back in town unti
l tomorrow. I shoved my mask and wig into a drawer just in case it was Detective Torres. He'd surely demand to come in my house now. Maybe he set me up this morning with his Canada trip lies to lull me into a false sense of security. That's what a good detective would do.
I went to the front door the long way, through the dining room, so I could peer out the curtains.
My neighbor Charlotte was standing there with a casserole dish and a fake smile. The housewives in my neighborhood all seemed to be friends. Minus me. I'd tried to be part of their inner circle when my husband and I first moved in. But they were catty. I wasn't blonde. I preferred flats over heels. I didn't like to gossip and go on walks, shoving my nose into other peoples' business. And yet...I wanted to be one of them. But today wasn’t a good day for it to happen.
I watched Charlotte press the doorbell again.
Under no circumstances could I open the door. So why were my feet inching toward the foyer? Why did I still care about her acceptance? My hand froze on the doorknob. This was a bad idea. She'd ask too many questions. And she might...
A muffled cry for help came from the basement.
No. I'd forgotten to put the gag back in his mouth.
He yelled again.
I had to answer the door now. I had to explain the noise away. But my hand stayed frozen on the doorknob. How? How could I possibly explain a man yelling for help in my basement? Screw me.
Chapter 10
Saturday
I grabbed Snuggle Muffins, who had followed me out into the foyer. I was glad he'd disobeyed a direct order to stay in the kitchen. I used him like a shield as I opened the door, stepped outside, and closed the door behind me. "Hi, Charlotte!" My voice sounded too cheery. Too high. Too fake. But Charlotte knew all about being fake. Why the hell else was she here?
"Did I just hear..."
"That was my dog," I said, cutting her off. "He's so loud." I turned my attention to him. "Aren't you?" I used that high voice that moms used with children. It sounded even grosser than my greeting to Charlotte.