I carefully give him a hug because, even though his arm is in a temporary cast, I know he's in pain. As much as I hate him sometimes, he really is the best big brother in the world.
"Hey, what did they say about your arm?"
He shrugs his good shoulder, "It's definitely broken. The doctors said like eight weeks in a cast and then physical therapy, but the team doc says I should regain full mobility because it's a pretty straightforward break."
I can't help laughing at that. "Well, at least it's straightforward."
He starts to laugh, too, realizing how ridiculous that sounds.
"Hey, sorry about the game." I've wanted to say that since I walked in, but I was afraid to bring it up. It was like the elephant in the room, and I figured, since Ryan's laughing, now is as good a time as any.
He stops laughing but keeps his smile. "Thanks, Ash. At least I'm only a junior so we have next year to win." I can see the confidence in his brown eyes, and I know, in that moment, they will be back here next year to win. It's amazing that he can bounce back this quickly considering the loss is so fresh. I feel like I'm going to need weeks of counseling to get over it. Once again, it's the difference between non-athlete, me versus athlete, him.
Suddenly, the door opens and pulls me out of my thoughts. "Hey, can you give somebody else a turn?" Brian questions with a smirk.
"Brian!" Ryan calls out, sitting up a little straighter in bed. And Todd peeks his head around the door, too. "Hey, guys!"
"It's one at a time," I say with a giggle.
"Since when do we follow the rules?" Brian asks, coming in.
"I was actually sent to come get you." Todd looks right at me. "Hey, Ry." He turns his gaze to my brother. "How are you?"
"I've been better." Ryan lifts his arm to show his temporary cast. "That was a hell of a game winning kick you made, Todd."
"You saw?" Todd asks, surprised.
"Yeah, I wouldn't let them take me down until I saw you kick."
Todd gives him that crooked smile that sets the butterflies loose in my stomach even though it's not for me this time. "Too bad it didn't win the game."
"Well, it almost did," Ryan replies with a smile.
"It should have," Brian adds.
"Okay, Ash. I think your mom might have a heart attack if I don't bring you out of the room. She was a little nervous we were all going to be in here, so she sent me in with Brian to get you."
I can't help laughing as I shake my head at my mom; she will never change. "Bye, Ry. See you soon." I give my brother one last smile.
As soon as we're out in the hallway, Todd grabs my hand and entwines his fingers with mine. Well, maybe I have to thank my mom. I mean, I am holding Todd's hand and she could have always sent my dad in to get me.
I start to walk toward the waiting area until Todd pulls me back.
"Not yet," he says, stepping closer to me.
"What do you mean?" I'm confused but intrigued.
"There is something we have to do first." His hand tightens a little around mine.
"Is there?" I ask, now fully intrigued.
"Yes." His smile deepens while my eyes connect with his beautiful blue eyes as he steps closer to me. He's so close I can feel his cool breath on my lips, and then he pulls back. What a tease. "Come with me." He glances back at me, full of playfulness as he leads the way through the brown hospital hallway. When he finally stops walking, I can see we are standing in front of the hospital's chapel and my heart starts to beat faster. I cant help but smile as he opens the door for me to enter.
"I figured we couldn't leave without visiting where it all started." His smile says everything I'm feeling at this moment.
He grabs my chin with both of his hands and cradles my face, his eyes locking with mine as he leans in to kiss me.
It's an amazing kiss.
"I mean, I know this isn't exactly where it started..." he says as he pulls away for a second in between kisses.
Luckily, the chapel is empty because we are in full make out mode.
I pull away. "Something is different."
He stops and puts some space between us, looking a little stunned. "What do you mean?" I try not to notice the genuine concern that fills his eyes.
"Um, well…" I think about really playing this up for a second, but I can't do it because he looks so concerned. "You're not bleeding." I finally break into a smile.
He laughs as he grabs me around the waist to pull me closer to him. "True. But I am sweaty, and we know how much you like that." His smile doesn't falter even as he starts to kiss me. I feel the clamminess of his skin against mine since he didn't get to shower or really change after the game.
"There was sweat, now it's just dried sweat. That's not really the same."
"We can fix that.” He pushes in closer to me.
The door suddenly opens and an older woman, my Nana's age, is standing there with her mouth agape. "Oh," she says in her sweet, old lady voice as she half-covers her eyes. "I'm sorry. Um, this is the chapel, right?" She glances back to check the door she's still holding open. The way she says chapel, it's clear she's making a point that this is most definitely not where people should be kissing.
As Todd and I instantly separate, I see how unusually flustered he is out of the corner of my eye and try not to laugh.
"We're sorry, ma'am. We were just leaving."
She clutches her purse a little tighter as we walk toward her to leave, as if not only have we been we kissing, but she is sure we're also going to mug her.
"You see, my girlfriend and I have been spending a lot of time in hospitals, and a chapel is where we had our first kiss." He glances at me. "It was beautiful actually." He smiles and then brings his attention back to the startled woman. “We thought our friend was dying." She backs up a little with each word, and she's now looking at us as if we might be insane, but Todd is so caught up in trying to explain he doesn't even notice. "But he was okay and—"
"Todd," I interrupt him because it's clear he's not going to stop. "We're sorry and we're leaving." I finally pull him out of the chapel.
Once the door is closed and we are back out in the deep-brown hallway, we both look at each other and start laughing. "You were incredible." I can't wipe the smirk off my face.
He's still laughing as he pulls me closer. "I couldn't help it, I was just trying to explain. Anyway, where were we?" He grabs my waist to pull me right up against him.
"Stop. We can't do this out here." Our faces are inches from each other as he leans down to rest his forehead on mine. "But I do love that we got to visit yet another hospital chapel."
"Yeah, it stinks about Ry, but at least there was a positive." He strokes my cheek with his thumb as he looks at me like only he can. I feel like he's the only person on earth who can truly see me. "And speaking of positives, I heard we're going to have my room to ourselves tonight, and your parents are going to be busy." His crooked smile melts my heart, and I know it's going to get me into trouble.
Chapter 4: The Hotel
The hospital finally releases Ryan, and as soon we get back to the hotel, we all head back to our own rooms, and then my phone buzzes with a text from Todd.
Coast is clear.
Are you sure? I feel my heart rate accelerate even as I type it.
All of the players are on a separate floor. Therefore, not only am I going to have to make the long walk down the dimly lit hallway with my parents' room right across the hall, but then I'm going to have to chance getting on an elevator without running into anyone. I know at least one of my parents is going to be awake at all times, so that adds to the chance of me getting caught. Not to mention, Todd's parents' room is right next to mine and Sid's. My heart is pounding at the mere thought of that.
Take the stairs. Turn left out of your room and they are right there. I'll meet you. Todd texts before I can respond.
Good thinking—the stairs. He's so smart. I can't help grinning at how much thought he has put into this. He's actually ma
pped out the route. Now I just needed to sneak out without waking up Sid. She's a pretty light sleeper.
I start to tiptoe out of the room when I slam my foot into the corner of the bed's metal frame. "Shit!" I scream involuntarily. "Man, that hurt," I whisper to myself.
Sid rolls over and I freeze mid-step. I feel my heart in my throat. When I finally get the nerve to peek over, I can see she is still asleep. I let out a small breath of relief and quietly leave the room, gently closing the door behind me. The hallway is empty. I hop-walk, rubbing my sore toe as I make my way to the stairs. Once I'm in the stairwell, it's filled with fluorescent lights and my eyes try to adjust since it's so much brighter.
"Ash!?" I hear a whisper coming from the floor above.
"Todd?" I whisper back, and then I see his familiar Adidas shoes coming down the stairs.
"You did it," he whispers as he grabs both of my hands.
My racing heart calms as soon as our eyes meet. He has the most beautiful crystal-blue eyes, although he's wearing his grey hoodie so there are flecks of grey in them tonight.
"Nicely done." He sweetly kisses me with his pillow-soft lips.
He then holds my hand as we walk back up the stairs toward his floor. We made it this far, but we still need to make it down the players' hallway with all of the coaches' rooms. There is a strict no girls policy on this floor, and the coaches have ears like dogs; they hear everything.
As he slowly opens the door to his floor, he looks both ways as if he's in a James Bond movie. I can't help giggling at how serious he looks.
"Shhhh," he says, smiling back at me as he guides me out into the hallway. He points to a line of doors, and I know those are the coaches' rooms. They are just on the other side of those thin metal doors. If we get caught, we'll both be in major trouble.
My heart is racing. By the time we make it to his room, he already has his key out. He opens the door so quickly and quietly it's almost as if he's practiced it. But then again, this is Todd and everything always comes so easily to him. His nickname at school, "God Todd," couldn't be more fitting.
He quietly shuts the door, and then it's just the two of us in his room, alone. Even though we made it without anyone seeing us, my heart is still racing, but now it's because we actually made it, without anyone seeing us.
"We did it," he says through a kiss as his lips meet mine. Then he pulls back and smiles. "We're finally alone. Really alone with no old ladies to interrupt us."
I can't help but laugh as my heart slows down a bit at his touch. I feel safe, as I always do with him. Even though I know we're breaking every rule, it feels right.
I sit down on Ryan's bed as Todd sits down on his. He notices my tension and pats his bed with a smile. "Come here, Ash. I don't really feel comfortable making out on Ryan's bed." His smile tells me he's kidding, and he gets up to move closer to me. "Ash, you don't ever have to do anything you're not comfortable with." His smile deepens while he leans his forehead against mine as our fingers intertwine. "Do you want to go back to your room?"
"No," I say so quickly I'm not even sure I actually said it—it was like an automatic reflex. I really don't want to leave; it's just something about being here alone that seems so right yet at the same time so wrong.
He grins at how quickly I answer. "Good. Because I don't want you to leave, but I also don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."
"Todd, I'm a virgin," I blurt out. What is it with losing control of my words? Why would I say that right now?
As he scoots closer to me on Ryan's bed, he brushes the hair out of my eyes. Then he grabs my chin to force my gaze off the floor and our eyes lock. He smiles his perfectly crooked smile, and I suddenly feel completely safe, like this is exactly where I should be, where I need to be.
"Ash, I know. I didn't want you to come here to have sex. I just wanted to be with you." His eyes are full of delight but so sincere. He continues to stroke his hands over my curly hair. "You know that, right?"
I can't do anything except smile. I can't believe this is happening to me. I feel like this must be a dream. How can he be so perfect?
"What are you smiling about?" he asks, returning my expression.
"You're perfect," I whisper. I can't help being completely honest with him.
"Oh, that." He lies back and rests his hands on his head. "Yeah, it's tough being perfect." He looks over at me, his smile and voice full of sarcasm.
"But you really are." I lean closer to him.
"Yeah, right. Hardly. I have no idea what I'm doing. Ever. "
"That's not true."
"No, it really is. I usually just wing it."
I lay down on the bed next to him, mimicking his pose with my head resting back in my hands, staring up at the ceiling. "Well, you're pretty good at winging it." I turn to face him, and feeling my gaze, he turns to meet my eyes.
"Ash, I'm just as confused as you. I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going. I just know being here with you feels right. You make me happy. I feel like I've spent my life trying to make everyone else happy—my dad, my coaches, my teachers—but you make me happy, and you've made me realize I've never really felt truly happy before. I admire you, Ash."
"Me? Why?"
"Because you don't do things just to please other people. Like sports, you don't play them because you don't want to."
"Also because I'm not a very good athlete."
"That's not true. You're an amazing swimmer."
"You remember?" I say through my grin.
"Of course I remember. Summers at the pool. I know Ryan would pretend not to be interested, but me, Ryan, and Bri would all sneak down to watch the races." He pauses and gives me a wicked smile. "And maybe the lifeguards."
I start to laugh. "I can't blame you; the spandex, red bathing suit is hard to resist." I can't believe Todd remembers I swim—well, swam.
Ryan always had sports, but there was that window of time in the summer when there were none of Ryan's sports, and I had swimming. I loved to swim. It was the only thing I ever really felt good at while Ryan was good at basically every sport he ever tried. He was incredibly passionate and always knew what he wanted. I never knew what I wanted except when I was in the pool.
I started swim lessons just to learn how to swim. I felt safe there, secure. I knew I was good, so I started racing and won. A lot. Then, as I got older and summers became more about friends and movies, I lost the passion for the competition side of it. However, I'll never lose the passion for just being in the water, the feeling I get when the cool water envelopes my skin. Plus, swimming has earned me extra money for the past two summers since I've been a junior lifeguard. I could think of worse things than hanging out at the pool all day as a summer job.
"Ashley, I have something to tell you."
My attention snaps back to this moment as my heart drops at this very sentence. We're both now lying on our sides, facing one another. I can't seem to ever pull my eyes away from his. They are so clear and blue. I love to see the flecks of grey dancing in them when he wears this hoodie.
"Should I be nervous? This sounds serious."
"No, and yes, it is, I guess. I just wanted to tell you, since you were so honest before..." He pauses. He always pauses at the worst possible times. "I'm not a virgin."
I close my eyes at the thought of him being with anyone else, although I'm not really surprised.
He continues, "It was last summer, an older girl at the club. We met and hung out over the summer, and well, you know." His eyes finally meet mine again.
I rub my thumb over his soft cheek and smile. "Hey, I get it. I mean, I never really thought you were." I glance down at the stiff, flowered comforter we're lying on and start to trace the design with my finger. Then I look back up at him. He's waiting for me to say something else. "How was it?" I smile.
His lips turn up into a relieved smile. "The first time was strange, not like I expected. I mean, I didn't know what to expect. But she was… let's just say, more
experienced, so she kind of led the way." He places a few strands of my hair behind my ear, our eyes remaining locked on each other.
"Do I know her?" I'm not sure why I'm asking, just as I'm not sure what I want the answer to be, but I need to know.
"I don't think so. She's from Ridgewood."
"Oh." Ridgewood is the next town over, and it's an incredibly wealthy one. I mean, our town is pretty nice, but if you live in Ridgewood, you live in a mansion.
"I met her at the club. She was home from college for the summer."
Todd, Ryan, and Brian all worked at one of the local country clubs last summer. They were golf caddies for very wealthy guys who'd rather spend time on the golf course than with their families, but apparently, they all tipped really well at the end of the summer. I worked at the town country club where fancy is not in the vocabulary. If you live in the three surrounding towns, you can automatically become a member for a small fee.
It's actually pretty amazing they have five different pools; one for diving, one for swimming laps and races, and two pools just for kids. Then they have a pool for basically anything you could want to do in the water. It's packed in the summer. It's where I always swam as a kid, and where I'm now a lifeguard—well, junior lifeguard. But Todd, Ryan, and Brian actually worked at a real country club where there are no kiddie pools and no one automatically gets in, if you know what I mean.
He continues as he strokes my cheek with the pad of his thumb. "She was great and we had fun. I liked hanging out with her and she made the summer fly by. I also liked the danger of secretly dating a member," he says with air quotes, then he lifts my chin to make sure I'm looking at him. "It was special to me, and I wouldn't change it, but it's not like this, Ash. You are so special to me, and when you are ready, I know it will be incredible because what we have is different. But only when you are ready."
There's really nothing I can say. We just look at each other, and I take in every inch of him—his face, his eyes, his lips—and then I lean in and kiss him. He wraps his perfectly toned arms around me, and we officially go from zero to sixty. We are in full make out mode. Our bodies press into one another as if we can become one. I can't kiss him fast enough or deep enough. I feel his hands wander, but he stops to look at me with each movement to make sure I'm okay.
Accidental Love (Accidental Crush #2) Page 3