ASHLEY
I feel my heart pounding in my chest, and I'm sure I'm going to lose everything I ate today in the pool as I lean over, ready to get tagged for our relay race. Usually, we don't race co-ed, but this summer, they've created a Co-ed Freestyle Relay. Therefore, I'm on the same team as Casey. I'm second to last.
I glance behind me to see Casey there, cheering for Randy, another swimmer on our team who is in the lead, but it's close. I know I just need to keep the lead close enough for Casey to finish it in first. He's by far our strongest swimmer. I say a silent thank you because I know, even if I lose our lead, he can get it back as long as I keep it close.
Before I can think of anything else, Randy tags our block and my body kicks into autopilot as I glide through the water. I love the adrenaline rush that soars through my body as I feel my arms slice through the water. I can sense the swimmers in the lanes next to me, and I know I'm making good time. My body feels the pace of the other swimmers, but I'm not sure if I'm in the lead. I just know I'm still in the race.
I tag the block and then see Casey fly over me. He's even better in competition than he is at practice. He makes it look effortless. I've kept our lead close enough that he gets it back within seconds, the entire team is cheering him on.
I glance over at the stands and spot my mom and dad cheering so loudly they don't even notice me looking at them. Then I look back at the pool to see Casey is at least three strokes ahead with only one more lap. The cheers are deafening. As soon as Casey's hand slaps our block, the small crowd erupts.
The crowd is made up of mostly parents with a few different swimmers from the other teams and a few girlfriends, boyfriends, and RTS, of course. As soon as Casey is out of the pool, he's surrounded with high fives while he looks in my direction. In the excitement, he wraps his arms around me and lifts me up so my feet are off the ground.
"We did it, Ash. You were great." He puts me down, his smile beyond words.
We are both caught up in the moment when he leans down and places his hands on either side of my face as his lips crash into mine. His lips are soft and gentle, but they are not Todd's, and my body instantly reacts. I push him away with both of my hands pressed firmly on his chest.
"Casey, I have a boyfriend," I say so emphatically relief washes over me. I guess that is one way to get it out in the open.
My head is spinning as I quickly look at the stands and know by their expressions my parents didn't see anything. Thankfully no one did, they were all so caught up in the chaotic celebration.
For a split second, a look of surprised rejection crosses his face, and it makes me feel terrible. I hate that I've hurt him. Then he smiles and steps closer to me. "I know, Ashley." When he smiles his perfectly confident smile, I no longer feel bad; instead, I'm the surprised one.
"You've known this whole time?" I ask, looking up into his green eyes, trying to read them, hating that I can't.
"Well, you never actually said it, but I knew you guys were together. But he's not here and we just won, which is always cause for celebration. You need to lighten up, Ashley Taylor. We won!" He shouts up into the sky, and just as he does that, the rest of the team swarms us with Mom and Dad right behind them.
I'm not sure what to think other than I wonder if Casey has been playing me this entire time when I thought I was playing him. I can't tell if the fact that he doesn't care is an act, or if he really is that laid back and confident. Either way, I'm intrigued, again.
TODD
We're all heading back to our rooms after our showers. I, for one, have seen enough of this locker room for a while. I love being pushed, I love the pressure, but I feel like I've been beaten to a pulp this week. Plus, right now, I don't think I can endure another week of this. I need tomorrow's break.
I can't stop thinking, if this week is any indication of what playing in college will be like, I'm still not sure this is what I want. Then I keep reminding myself there are a million other guys who would kill for this opportunity. Suck it up. So I do; suck it up that is. I haven't told Ryan or Brian. Only Ash knows how I feel, and I want to keep it that way.
I open my locker and look down to see I have two text messages. I know Ash was nervous for her meet today, and I can't wait to see how she did. However, the first text is from Rebecca, not Ash. That's strange; she hasn't texted me since we broke up. The last texts I have from her are from when Brian was in ICU. It's strange to see those old texts above her new one. All of the memories from that night instantly flood back.
Thought you should know.
There are two pictures. One of Ashley and Casey hugging. It's clear they are celebrating. They must've won.
The next one is Casey and Ashley kissing.
My heart stops beating while my fingernails dig into my palm as my hand instantly clenches into a tight fist. Before I know it, my fist is slamming into my metal locker and Ryan is pulling me back.
"Todd? Todd! What's up, man?"
I can't say anything; I just hand him my phone. I see his questioning expression change to realization.
"What the fuck?" he says, looking at me.
I shake my head. "I don't know?"
"You need to call her."
"No way." I clench my fist without realizing it until I see Ryan's eyes move down to my hand.
"Shit, look at your hand."
My knuckles are bloody, but I can't feel anything. I'm numb.
"We need to get that bandaged up," Ryan says, eyeing my hand.
Brian walks up to us, still soaked from the shower with one towel wrapped around his waist and another around his head. With one look, he knows something is wrong.
"What's up?"
Ryan hands him my phone as I flex my hand and make a fist. It's bleeding pretty badly, but I'm so pissed I can't see straight and couldn't care less.
"What the fuck?" Brian says and notices my hand for the first time. "Dude? Here, take this." He pulls the towel off his head and starts to wrap it around my hand. "Doc is still in there. You should go have him look at that."
"It's fine." I wrap the towel around the wound. I feel like it's someone else's hand, someone else's body. I feel nothing.
"It's not fine. You're bleeding all over the floor."
I look down, and sure enough, there are drops of blood everywhere.
"Good thing you don't need your hand to kick," Brian says, lightening the mood for a second. "But it better heal before baseball camps."
"Go see him." Ryan gestures to the doctor's door with his head. "You need to get that wrapped up at least. Then you need to call Ashley and figure this the fuck out. I can't believe my sister." Ryan shakes his head.
"I can't talk to her right now," I say through gritted teeth.
"Then I'm going to call her."
"No, Ryan. This is our thing."
I know I need to get the whole story, but this picture says all I need to know. I haven't even been gone for a week! I'm so mad I feel like I need to let off steam before we talk.
The team doctor is pretty cool. He's worked with us all week, so I'm comfortable going into his office.
"Todd, what can I do for you?" His grey hair is glistening from the overhead florescent lights.
I just hold up my hand, the towel wrapped around it soaked with blood already.
"Oh, I see." He cleans the wounds and wraps it tightly with gauze and tape. I don't even flinch; I still feel nothing. "What happened, son?" The look on his face isn't judgmental, it's caring, and I can tell, if I did go to school here, he would be like a father figure to the team.
"Girlfriend troubles." I shrug and smile up at him. Just saying the word girlfriend pains me at the moment.
"I see," he says with a smile and a shake of his head. "Well, it's a good thing you're a kicker." He winks at me.
"Yeah, I guess." I shrug.
ASHLEY
I hear my ringtone and my heart starts to soar. I can't wait to tell Todd about the swim meet. I know he's on a break day tomorrow, so I'm
sure he's just as happy as I am right now.
When I pick up my phone and see Ryan's name, not Todd, my heart starts to pound. Something must be wrong, something must've happened to Todd at practice.
"Hey, Ry. What's wrong?"
"What the hell is going on over there?"
"Is Todd okay?"
"What do you think? No, he's not okay."
"What happened?"
"I think you know what happened," he says, and what I've thought was nerves at first, I can now tell is anger.
"What are you talking about? Did Todd get hurt at practice?"
"You could say that. He's hurt all right, but it has nothing to do with football."
I'm genuinely confused and getting frustrated with my brother. "Ryan, what are you talking about?"
"You really have no idea?"
"No. I really have no idea. What is going on? Is Todd okay?"
"Well, he didn't want me to call, but you need to talk to him. Rebecca sent him a picture of you and Casey kissing."
My heart stops beating. All sound is muted, as if the entire world is on pause. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach. I can't catch my breath.
"Ash? Are you there?"
There's silence on my end as a million thoughts race through my head.
"Ash, he didn't want me to call you, but you need to call him."
"Where is he?" I ask, barely able to get the words out. Tears well up in my eyes, and I try to blink them away.
"He's with the team doctor. After he got the picture, he punched the lockers. He really messed up his hand."
"Shit," I whisper to myself.
"Yeah, he's pretty pissed. He doesn't want to talk right now. What the hell happened, Ash?"
"Nothing, Ryan. I swear, nothing. We won and we were all excited and Casey kissed me then I pushed him away. I swear, nothing is going on with us."
"I didn't tell you before, but you should know what happened with Todd and Casey."
"I know. Blythe told me."
"So you know he already hates him?"
"Yeah, I know," I say so low I almost don't hear the words coming out of my own mouth.
"You need to fix this, Ash."
"I know. I will. Please tell him I love him."
"You tell him." Then I hear silence on the other end, and I know Ryan hung up. The only sound I can hear is my heart pounding in my ears. The room is spinning and my hate for Rebecca is bubbling over. I take a deep breath and dial Todd's number.
TODD
I have five missed calls from Ash, but I can't do it. Every time the phone rings, I want to pick it up, but I can't. I'm not ready to talk to her.
I want to kill Casey. I hate that I'm so far away, though maybe it's a good thing. Ash keeps leaving messages, but I can't bring myself to listen to them, either.
"Let's go. Tonight, we'll get your mind off everything," Brian says from my doorway.
I reach for my phone then decide to leave it behind. I can't even look at the picture of Ashley that pops up every time she calls me. Her smile, her eyes… I miss them already. I'm so pissed.
"Come on; you just need to have a little fun." Brian smacks my back.
"Did you talk to her?" Ryan asks. I know he's concerned about both of us. I really wish he wasn't her brother right now.
"No. I can't." We've known each other long enough that he can tell by my tone he shouldn't push any further.
"Tonight is our first college party, boys. A first of many to come." Brian drapes his arms around our shoulders as we walk down the dorm hall into the unknown world of college parties.
***
So college isn't all bad. This party is sick, and a nonstop keg is just what I needed tonight. Brian was right. I'm pretty sure this is the most I've ever drunk, and I feel great except for when Ashley pops into my head, or I try to use my right hand and the bandage wrapped around it reminds me of what happened. Yet, right now, I don't care about any of it: Ashley, football, scholarships, the cute girl that won't stop hanging on me. Her name is Cindy or Carrie. Shit, I think it starts with a C...
"Hey, how you doing?" Ryan shouts over the blaring music. I see him eye the cute blonde sitting next to me on the couch.
"I'm good. Really good." I nod my head, feeling like I've got it all under control. I mean, I feel the five or six beers—actually, I'm not sure how many. I lost count, but I feel great. No pain and I'm happy for the first time since I stepped foot on this campus.
"He's great," what's-her-name shouts back to Ryan as she rubs her hand on my knee.
Ryan doesn't miss it. "He's got a girlfriend at home. Did he tell you that?"
Did I tell her that? Shit, I can't remember.
She smiles up at Ryan. "So? She's not here."
I'm just as shocked as Ryan, but I think I like this girl. She's pretty badass, and it's clear she just wants to have fun. That's all I want tonight, too. Ryan is far less impressed, though. He gives me a look that says everything I know he won't actually say in front of this girl. "Don't do anything stupid, Todd. You don't know the whole story yet." Then he walks away and disappears into the party.
"Now, where were we?" the cute blonde says as her hand runs up my leg.
"Um, I think I was just reminded that I have a girlfriend." I say with a smile.
"Yeah, let's forget about her for tonight." She leans in closer to me, her hand getting into we're-no-longer-just-talking-as-friends territory. When I instinctively push her hand away, I feel the bandage on my hand rub against her skin, which reminds me of everything.
"What happened to your hand?"
"Oh, this? It's nothing."
She strokes her fingers over it gently. "It doesn't look like nothing."
I shrug. "It's nothing I want to talk about tonight." I take a sip of my beer to put some space between us for a second. I know I'm drunk, but I don't care. I just want to keep drinking until I'm as numb as my heart feels right now.
"Are you a freshman?" she asks. For a second, I almost forgot she was here.
"Not yet." I shake my head as I take another sip of beer. "I'm here for football camp."
"Oh, really?" She scoots closer to me, her hand back on my knee. She gives me a wide smile. "I'm a cheerleader, you know?"
"Nope. I didn't know that," I say, not really caring if I make a good impression on this girl. Damn Ryan. Why did he have to bring up Ash? He's a real buzz kill, and now I can't stop thinking about her.
"Well, I am." As her hand rides back up my inner thigh, my brain is telling me to stop her, but I don't.
"What position do you play?" she asks. Speaking of positions, her hand is now in a very direct position, if you know what I mean.
"I'm a kicker." I try to adjust myself without being rude or too obvious. I know she can tell I'm enjoying this.
"That is my favorite position, Todd." She straddles me in one move. This girl is smooth. College is awesome.
She runs her fingers through my hair, and I know I need to stop her. However, before I know it, her lips are on mine then her tongue slips into my mouth. My tongue twirls with hers out of habit. She tastes wrong—she tastes like beer—but I close my eyes and get lost in the moment.
I let my hands explore her back. My head is screaming stop, but my body is telling me to keep going, so I do. I can't believe this girl. Is this what all college girls are like?
"You're really cute," she whispers in my ear, her lips on my earlobe and her warm breath on my neck. "And you're a good kisser." Her lips crash back into mine.
Suddenly, I feel myself being pulled off the couch. It happens so fast I don't know what is going on until I feel Ryan's fist crack against my jaw. I didn't see that one coming. This is a really shitty day.
I'm on the floor, surrounded by strangers except for Ryan and Brian, who are standing over me.
"Jesus, Todd. What the fuck?" Ryan shouts as he flexes his hand. I know it must hurt because I can actually feel the side of my face, and since everything else is numb, I know it's pretty
bad. I'm starting to taste blood in my mouth, so I wipe it with the back of my non-bandaged hand, and sure enough, I'm bleeding from somewhere.
"What is wrong with you?" the cute blonde screams at Ryan as I get up off the floor.
"Why don't you ask him that question?" Ryan shouts back at her, then he turns his attention to me. "She's my sister, asshole."
"She kissed Casey!" I shout back as I step closer to him. In my brain, that justifies everything.
"Did you talk to her?" he screams, inches from my face.
I feel Brian's hands on my chest, trying to put space between us. In this moment, I don't care. I can take on both of them if I need to. My heart is broken because of his sister, and he's punching me in the face.
"No. And it's none of your business." I push Ryan square in the chest as a few of the other guys from camp start to come over in an attempt to help Brian separate us.
"Maybe you should, because I did. She says she didn't kiss him, he kissed her, which is more than I can say for you." He glares at the cute blonde.
At those words, I no longer care that he's my best friend or that we are surrounded by strangers. I lunge for him with my fist, but Brian is fast and pulls me back. Maybe it's because the room is spinning, but Brian has superhuman strength right now as he continues to pull me back until I'm up against a wall. I can see the other guys bringing Ryan outside.
"Todd!" Brian screams in my face to get my attention. "You've gotta pull it together or you're gonna get kicked out of camp."
"I don't give a shit about camp!" I shout back before I realize what I've just said out loud.
"That's not true and you know it!" Brian shouts back. "You need to go back to the room now." He straddles his hands on either side of me so I'm pinned against the wall.
***
That's where my memory from last night ends. It feels like there is a jackhammer in my brain, pounding away. As I slowly open my eyes, the bright light streaming in through the slats in the blinds feels like knives going through my eye sockets.
I look around the room to see it's empty, then I slowly move my eyes toward the alarm clock. It says three o'clock. I quickly realize any fast movements make me feel like I'm on a rocking boat, and I think I might be sick.
Accidental Love (Accidental Crush #2) Page 14