“How are you?” he asked, leaning toward me so his long white hair fell in front of his face, blocking his eyepatch from view. “I could flick you again if you like.” He readied his hand. “It’s remarkably enjoyable.”
“I’m okay,” I squawked in my best please don’t flick me again voice. “How are you here?”
“The truth?” he asked, spreading his hands wide. “Is that you’re very close to death.”
“I’m close to death?” I asked because that was crazy. I felt fine, more than fine. Give me a tanker truck, and I’d show him just how fine I was. Hell, give me three and I’d juggle.
“Indeed. It’s why I’m able to visit you.” He exhaled loudly, probably wondering if he needed to remind me that he was the Black Prince and by extension, the guardian of the gates of death. If he said I was about to die, he was probably right. That sucked.
“So what’s the plan?” I asked, getting myself into a sitting position which was when I realized the floor was slick and wet. Cold fluid seeped through the seat of my pants, chilling me to the bone and making goosebumps sprout on my flesh. Still, I knew better than to show weakness in front of Zef. I mean, it wasn’t like he’d ever really hurt me. If he wanted to attack me, it wasn’t like I could stop him. It was more that being around him was like being in the same room as a pacing tiger. Let me tell you right now, you do not want to look like prey when confronting a tiger.
“The plan is for you to wait, and when you are done waiting, to strike. You are to do this at exactly the right time and not a moment before.” He smiled at me, baring his perfectly white teeth. “Nor a moment after.”
“Awesome,” I replied. “So I’m dying, and I’m just supposed to wait it out and hope for the best?”
“Precisely,” he said, stroking his chin. “And here, I thought this was going to be difficult.”
“Why am I dying?” I asked, glancing around the cavern. It reminded me of an emerald version of the one beneath his house on the hill. Every surface was hewn from gleaming, jagged gemstones made more ominous by the leaping shadows thrown off by the firelight. Crystalline water flowed from a fountain directly behind the death god. Now that I was paying attention, the sound of spattering water filled my ears as the stalactites above dripped and dropped in an endless cacophony of noise.
“Jormungand is trying to pull too much power through your body.” He shrugged. “It was inevitable, really. He hasn’t learned how to use his hosts properly. It doesn’t help that you keep trying to rebel either. Every time you do, he must expend more power to keep you beneath his thumb.” He waved his hands in front of him. “It’s sort of a cyclical tornado of hopelessness. You fight, he fights, and you both lose. But you lose more because when you die, he’ll find a new body, and you’ll be dead.”
“Of course,” I replied, trying to wrap my brain around what he was saying. Was Zef telling me that every time I fought with the snake god, I was actually killing myself? If that was true, the best thing to do would be to go along with everything so he wouldn’t be forced to put me down. Still, if I couldn’t find a way out, death might become a viable option. There was no way I was going to let him use my body forever, even if it did keep me alive. “Is that why he hasn’t dropped me in a pit of endless torment?”
“Bingo,” Zef said, smiling at me like I was his number one student. Then he reached out and ruffled my hair. It was back to its natural lavender color, and for some reason, that made me extraordinarily happy. Normally, I wasn’t super fond of my lavender hair because it brought me unwanted attention, but ever since I’d become trapped in dream world, well, I had been forced to have normal black hair. It was lame. If I ever got out of this, I was never dyeing my hair to hide who I was again.
“So how will I know when to strike?” I asked, hoping he would just tell me instead of giving me one of his riddles. Admittedly, it was probably asking for too much.
“When the sky turns gray with soot and the earth cracks open and blood spills across the land. In that moment, you must lash out at Jormungand with everything you have. It is the only way.” He smiled.
I sighed and halfway hoped he wasn’t speaking in metaphor because what he was describing sounded like it’d be pretty freaking obvious. “And how do I do that? How do I stop Jormungand? He is everything and everyone.”
“You’ll think of something,” Zef said as he rose to his feet and began walking away. “I’m counting on you, Lillim.”
“Thanks,” I said, but he was gone, and I found myself staring at an ominously red ceiling. I tried to move, but my arms and legs were bound to the bed beside me. That pissed me right off.
“So you’re awake,” Dr. Emile said from beside me. His nose was bandaged and his eyes were ringed with bruises, presumably from my fists.
“Let me guess. I’m back in the red room,” I said with a sigh.
“Indeed, Miss Callina,” Dr. Emile said, approaching me carefully, like he thought I might somehow rip myself free of my bonds and maul him like a momma lion. That was crazy though, how could I tear through straps wider than my wrists with my bare hands? Magic? The thought made me smirk and then grow immediately sad. If only…
“How are things?” I asked as genially as I could. “Good, I hope.”
“Not really,” he said, disappointment filling his voice. “You haven’t been taking your medication.” He tapped a clipboard in his hand. I was presumably it was the results of my lab work.
“Yeah.” I tried to shrug and totally failed. “About that, I’m really more of a Flintstones chewable kind of girl.”
“I don’t think you recognize the gravity of the situation, Miss Callina,” he replied, staring at me with his dark eyes. There was more than a little concern in them. It was enough to make me feel bad for beating him into twain because he was one of Jormungand’s manifestations. “You’re very sick.”
“We both know you’re just going to shoot me full of happy juice and send me on my way,” I said, and as the words left my mouth, he took a step back from me and shook his head.
“I’m not sure that’s wise. You’re clearly a danger to yourself and others.” He sat down in the chair beside my bed. “How can I possibly let you out before we make sure you’re not only back on your medication, but that it’s actually working?”
“Um… because I promise to take my pills?” I asked as sweetly as I could because I didn’t even have an answer for his question. What he said sounded totally reasonable.
“You punched me in the face, beat up some orderlies, and ran away screaming about a snake monster,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m worried you’re getting worse.”
“I’m not,” I replied, barely resisting the urge to shout at him about how none of this mattered anyway when a thought struck me. If I resisted, I could kill myself. The thought was sobering. “I promise, I’ll be good now. I understand what’s at stake. It will be easier for all of us if I just behave myself.”
Dr. Emile looked at me very carefully and nodded his head very slowly. “I believe you, Lillim.” With those words, he stood and made his way toward the door. “Take your medication when the nurse brings it, and I’ll go speak with your parents.”
“You said parents plural,” I said like a complete dumbass.
“Yes.” He raised his eyebrow inquisitively. “Is this where you tell me your mother is dead?”
“No, she’s supposed to be at work. Only my dad came with me today.” A bad feeling settled over me as he stared at me with concern etched into his features. Then, very slowly, it dissolved into a happy little mask.
“She must have left work early because she’s been in the waiting room for the last couple of hours with your father.” As he said the words, I suddenly felt like the world’s worst daughter, which I’ll admit, was absolutely insane because he was fictional and they were fictional but there it was.
Dr. Emile watched me for another few moments before opening the door and letting himself out, leaving me strapped to the bed all by m
y lonesome. I stared up at the ceiling and sighed. I just needed to bide my time until blood poured from the earth, then I could make my move. Only I had no idea what my move would be. Hopefully, I’d figure it out before said apocalyptic events occurred. Assuming I hadn’t just imagined the whole thing. If I had, I was probably going to need something a lot stronger than what Dr. Emile was prescribing.
I barely had time to contemplate it further when the door swung open to reveal a nurse I’d never seen before. She looked to be in her mid-twenties and had skin the color of milk chocolate. The hair beneath her sky blue nurse’s cap was done in tight cornrows. It struck me a little odd though I didn’t know why.
She had a brown plastic tray in her hands that reminded me of the ones I’d seen in cafeterias only unlike the ones in the cafeteria, this one had two small paper cups with faint Easter eggs drawn on them. She set it down on a little metal rolling table against the wall and turned to look at me.
“Hello, dearie.” She smiled, revealing huge white teeth. “I’m here to make sure you take your medicine.” She made a point of smiling again, and her entire face seemed to light up. It was sort of scary because either the prospect of giving me medication made her super happy, or she was able to lie with every aspect of her face. I wasn’t sure which was worse to be honest. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. It’s up to you.”
“I’d prefer the easy way,” I said, trying to smile and mostly failing.
“I thought you might, dearie,” she said, moving over to the wall next to me and unlocking a small Plexiglas box with the key secured to her hip by a little black cord. The box stuck out about two inches from the wall beside my bed. It had rounded corners so I couldn’t easily bludgeon myself or cut myself on it, and if it was anything like the ones in the other rooms, was firmly secured as well.
Once she had it opened, she pressed a green button inside. My bed began to twist and writhe beneath me, ratcheting me into a sitting position as I remained strapped to it. Once my bed had assumed the proper position, she released the button and stared at me in stark appraisal. Her brown eyes had little flecks of gold in them, and I wondered for a second what she’d look like if the sunlight hit her just right. Would her eyes glitter?
“I’m going to unlock your right hand so you can use it to take your pills. Don’t try anything funny or this will get very unpleasant for you in a hurry. Do you understand?” she smiled at me again, and I realized I was starting to hate her.
“Yes,” I replied, and after what felt like forever, she nodded. She slowly unstrapped my arm, and I left it there immobile even after she’d finished unbinding me. What was I going to do with it anyway? Grab her by the throat and choke the life from her?
She offered me the first of the cups containing several pills of various shapes and colors. “Enjoy your cocktail,” she added, watching me like a hawk as I tossed the pills in my mouth. She handed me the other cup. Unsurprisingly, it was filled with water. I swallowed the medication even though I had half a mind to try and not swallow it. Where would I have hidden it anyway?
“Open your mouth,” she said the moment I finished the water. I did so, and she stared into my mouth for a long time before adding, “Stick out your tongue.” Satisfied, she smiled at me. “See? Was that so hard?”
“Not really,” I said even though I hated when people asked me that. Yes, it was hard actually. I didn’t like taking medication given to me, especially medication given to me by delusions. Then again, I guess this could be real, in which case, I wasn’t sure I was willing to let go of everything in the other world just yet. Hopefully, the earth would break open soon. If not, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.
Chapter 16
My brain was wrapped in cotton, and quite honestly, I wasn’t sure how I wasn’t drooling on myself. I sat in the back of my parents’ car as they drove along. I also wasn’t sure how long I’d been letting the staff at Mercer & Mercer pump me full of medication. Weeks? Months? However long it had been felt like forever and then some.
This homecoming was much less exciting than my previous one had been. Even though both of my parents were in the car, I couldn’t quite focus on them or the surroundings. Hell, I could barely keep myself from falling asleep. I shuffled in the backseat, resting my head on the cool glass and tried to ignore how dry my mouth felt. When was the last time I’d had something to drink? Had I ever had something to drink? I must have, but I had a hard time pinpointing the where and when of it all.
“Is there anything we can get you?” my mother asked, glancing back over her seat to stare at me. Evidently, she’d won the coin toss because my father was driving even though we were in her car. It didn’t matter to me other than the driver’s seat was pushed back much farther than it normally was. As I stared at the now too small space behind my father, I sort of felt bad for it.
“Some water would be nice,” I said or think I said. I wasn’t quite sure anymore. I put my finger in my mouth, moving it around to try to dislodge the cotton stuck in there as she watched. It did no good. I swallowed and failed, my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. My mother didn’t so much as move as she stared at me, her normally hard brown eyes were soft and sad. Yes, mom. This was what your daughter had become. Only I didn’t say that out loud. Or maybe I did. I had no way of knowing.
My mother spun around in her seat and scrounged around for something on the floor. An eternity passed before she turned back around, offering me a plastic water bottle, already uncapped. The wrapper was torn down one side so the ragged edges of the paper flapped in the soft breeze of the air conditioner, and for a second, I wondered if I could flap like that too, only I felt like I already was.
“Here you are,” she said, offering me the bottle. I reached out and took it from her, somehow holding onto the thin plastic even though my fingers felt like they were made of lead.
I stared into the water, watching it slosh inside the bottle. I didn’t think they’d slipped anything inside the bottle, but you could never be too sure. Still, they didn’t really have the need to do that, anyway. I’d dutifully swallowed everything I’d been given by Mercer & Mercer for the last several eons, so there was no telling how many gallons of poison I’d already consumed. It was either that or get a shot in the rump and a one way ticket back to my room. My room had been lame, so I’d only done that a couple dozen times or so. Still, I couldn’t be sure about the water so I sniffed it. I smelled nothing, but that meant little.
“Go ahead,” my mother said in her talking to a toddler voice.
Hesitantly, I lifted the bottle to my lips and took a sip. The water was strangely warm and languid, probably from rolling around on the floor of her car for who knows how long, but I swallowed it anyway, hoping she hadn’t slipped anything into it. The liquid didn’t make my mouth any less dry, but it felt like I was doing something positive so I took another sip and waited to see if I’d fall unconscious so they could suck the secrets out of my brain. I know it sounds crazy, but I’d come to a conclusion. Jormungand needed me to do certain things sometimes so he could control Apep. Him using the hallucination of my parents to secure that knowledge didn’t seem implausible. Okay, fine, it seemed perfectly logical.
My mother nodded once and turned around in her seat. She exhaled softly and reached out, putting one hand on my father’s knee. He grunted. They’d been fighting. I could tell because my father wasn’t talking, and that generally meant he was angry. It was either that or he had a particular hatred of all the cars outside ours. Still, it was probably my fault, you know, for freaking out during a normal outpatient visit and getting locked away. It had to be embarrassing. I’d have probably been ashamed and embarrassed too, if I could feel anything other than numb, but well, I didn’t.
Unless of course, numbness was a feeling, but I wasn’t so sure it counted if it did. I knew I should feel something, but when I tried, it evaporated into mist. It was weird to say the least, but the few times I’d managed to avoid taking my medicatio
n had resulted in my emotions seeming clearer.
I let out a small breath and smiled even though I didn’t know why. Maybe things would be better now that I was on the outside. The thought made me try to smile a little more. On the outside. Like I was an escapee. I hadn’t done that though, even when the nurses had propped the door open to bring someone sitting in a wheelchair outside. It would have been so easy to just walk out and scale the chain link fence. I hadn’t done it, but I’d thought about. See, I was a good girl. That’s what the staff had said when they’d found me staring out into the freedom beyond the door.
But it was better this way. If I submitted and took my drugs like a good little girl, I wouldn’t die. It also had the added benefit of keeping my parental units happy and me out of Mercer & Mercer. I licked my dry, cracked lips and stared out the window, watching the cars whizz by in bursts of color. Still, I had no idea what I was supposed to do now. Wait? I chewed on my lip. I wasn’t exactly good at waiting.
Tires screeched. Glass broke. Metal shrieked.
I was flying, falling, tumbling. I hit the ground with a thud that rattled my brain. Warmth flowed down my face as I lay there, unable to move, to breathe, to think. The surrounding images faded, leaving me on my back, staring at the multi-hued sky. Darkness filled my vision. My eyes drifted shut.
Rain hit my face, splattering across my skin as I blinked open my eyes. Everything hurt. Everything was raw. I tried to move, tried to get up. Rain pelted me, sluicing through the sky and drenching me.
The acrid smell of smoke filled my nose as I got my bloody hands under me and looked around, bewildered. Our car was in the middle of the road, pancaked flat against a cement embankment. Smoke poured from beneath the hood as I stared. I took a step toward it. My footsteps squelched in the mud.
“Escape. You’ve got to escape.” The voice beside me was strangely familiar and insistent. I craned my head toward it.
A young girl, perhaps ten, perhaps six, perhaps in between, stood there, staring at me expectantly. She smiled up at me with her cotton candy pink lips and brushed her curly, ketchup-red hair out of her eyes as the rain splattered on her upturned cherub cheeks.
Mind Games: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 6) Page 10