by Holly Rayner
“But what if I never find it?” Annabelle sobbed. “What if I’m just being too picky, and I never get another chance at happiness?”
“Are you happy, Belle?”
The question made Annabelle pause. It wasn’t something she had asked herself in all this time. Did she even know the answer?
“I’m content,” she hedged. “I’m happy that life is getting back to normal.”
“That’s what I asked.”
Annabelle sighed, finally meeting her mother’s gaze with watery eyes. “I know,” she agreed.
“Is there anyone at all that you’ve felt might be close to what you’re searching for? How do you know that what you feel for Will isn’t love?”
Of course, Annabelle instantly thought of Chase. But the truth was, Chase was a dream, a fantasy. She could say that the spark she’d felt with him was simply the excitement of the unknown, of the forbidden. There was no foundation between them that could mean anything, no matter how many butterflies he’d given her with that accidental kiss.
“No, I suppose not,” Annabelle lied.
Deborah continued to stroke her hand. “Well, you’ll find it, Belle. Don’t give up searching for your perfect match. He’s out there, somewhere. Perhaps you’re just outgrowing our little town.”
“But I love it here!” Annabelle cried. “I just wish there were more guys my age who love it, too.”
“Well, perhaps someday,” her mother said, patting her hand and releasing it before rising to pour the tea.
They enjoyed a quiet morning together, and Annabelle found herself relaxing in the soothing presence of her mom. At a quarter to eight, Annabelle hugged her mother goodbye and headed to the docks for another day at sea.
***
The day passed quickly, busy as it was, and before she knew it, Annabelle was back on land and heading to her apartment. Her cellphone rang on her walk home, and seeing that it was her friend Delilah calling, she picked it up on the second ring.
“Annabelle Williams, bachelorette party extraordinaire. How can I help you today?”
Delilah laughed. “You can get your butt to Seattle, so we can start drinking! Where are you, dollface?”
Delilah had gotten engaged the previous year to a very handsome, very wealthy man, and they would be celebrating that fact in the usual way that very evening. It would be the first time Annabelle had been back in the city since Christmas.
She laughed and picked up her pace. “I’m just getting off work now. I’m going to go wash the scent of the sea out of my hair and then I’ll be there in a flash.”
“Good, because we’re ready to party! I’m getting marrieeeeeed!” her friend yelled into the phone before hanging up.
It was a party Annabelle had been looking forward to for quite some time. If anyone knew how to have a good time, it was Delilah and the rest of their old school friends, and she was looking forward to making new memories with some old pals.
She took a quick shower before sliding into a light summer dress and flip flops, packing a bag, and hopping into her old car. Somehow, the old beast was still alive, and Annabelle prayed to the car gods that that would continue to be the case as she pulled onto the highway and made her way to the big city.
***
The girls had rented a series of hotel rooms for the night, and when Annabelle arrived, she was greeted by a series of wild cheers and hugs.
“Finally! The party can begin!”
“Let’s start in the lobby and see where we go from there, yeah?”
“Yes, let’s just please start drinking like now ladies! I’m getting married!” Delilah cried.
Annabelle laughed at her friends’ shenanigans as she fell in step with the group and rode the elevator back down to the main lobby. They all crowded the bar, grabbing drinks and setting up shop at a table, Delilah chugging on one of her many free drinks of the night.
Enjoy that hangover, Annabelle thought wryly. She was the last one stood at the bar, and with the noise of their group out of the way, she happened to hear the one name she didn’t dare think she would.
“Chase Frost…”
Annabelle’s head whipped in the direction of a man and a woman chatting amiably two seats away, both of them wearing smart suits.
“I’m sorry,” she said, unable to help herself. “Did you just say something about Chase Frost?”
The man looked at her with a curious expression bordering on annoyed, but she didn’t care. She hadn’t eavesdropped on purpose, and she had to know what they were talking about. After so long without news of him, she had only recently convinced herself to stop googling his name and get on with her life.
“He’s giving a presentation in the hotel salon right now. We were just about to head that way to hear what he has to say.”
Annabelle’s whole body caught fire at that news. Chase was in the same building as her, in that very moment.
Her drink arrived, and the bartender had to clear his throat loudly to get her attention. The man and woman had already gone back to their conversation, ignoring the intrusion.
Annabelle took her drink and left a few bills on the bar, rejoining her party, but completely unable to focus.
“To the bride-to-be!” one of her friends shouted.
The group cheered and lifted their glasses while Delilah basked in the attention. Annabelle took a few sips before standing up.
“Where are you going?” one of the girls asked.
Annabelle waved her off. “Breaking the seal early I guess. Off to the ladies’ room.”
“Well don’t be too long, we’ll be bar crawling soon.”
“Got it,” she said, making quick strides towards the bathroom before beelining in the direction of the hotel’s convention room.
She reached the salon the man had been talking about, and looked at the sign out front.
Environmental Sustainability: Profiting the Future
Annabelle read the sign several times. The man at the bar must have been confused, or perhaps he had been speaking about another Chase Frost. The Chase Frost she had known would not have been giving a speech at an environmental event.
Unable to resist, she pushed open the door and stepped inside.
The room was filled with round tables loaded with diners who were enjoying a fancy meal. It wasn’t terribly different from the last charity event Annabelle had attended, though the theme was markedly different.
Annabelle took a seat at a nearly empty table in the back, staring at the stage. A woman was at the microphone, her speech already in progress.
“If you had asked us a year ago if we thought an event like this would be taking place, we’d probably have had you committed,” she said, and the room at large chuckled.
“Tonight, we honor a man who has dedicated himself to environmental sustainability, when only a year ago his company was one of the major catalysts for global climate change. It is absolute proof that anyone, no matter how much they might profit from poisoning our planet, can have a change of heart and work towards a brighter future for our children, grandchildren and everyone who comes after them. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a hearty welcome to Chase Frost!”
Annabelle’s heart caught in her throat as Chase walked up to the stage and stood behind the podium. She was far back from the front, but not so far that he couldn’t see her if he really looked.
The CEO of Frost Energy stared out into the crowd, and for a moment, she thought their eyes met. Then he began speaking to the room, his confidence shining through.
“Thank you all for the honor of your presence, and for the donations you have made tonight to support this cause. Not so long ago, someone I consider a friend made me very aware of the consequences of my actions. While I was pursuing profit at all costs, she made me realize that there was a way to do that and improve the lives of others at the same time. It was with this in mind that I rebuilt Frost Energy from the ground up, investing entirely in sustainable energy.”
The room
erupted in applause, and Chase had to wait to continue. Annabelle could hardly believe her ears.
“The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, that fossil fuels are going the way of the dinosaurs. As energy burns out, we need to focus on finding a solution that will benefit us and our planet.
“I hope that with the formation of this new charity, we will be able to build a better world together, one step at a time. It won’t be easy. There are many groups out there that will fight us at every turn. Still, I believe that this is what is right, and I’d like my mark on the world to be one of progress, not just profit. Thank you.”
Everyone in the room stood as Chase smiled at the crowd before disappearing off stage. Annabelle sat in stunned silence for a moment.
He had completely rebuilt the company, for the good of mankind? And, what really hit home, was that he had clearly done it because of her.
Annabelle knew in that moment that her feelings for Chase were real. They weren’t the fantasies of a lonely woman looking for subtle ways to sabotage her relationships. What she and Chase had shared, short as it was, had changed them both for the better.
Unable to see where the stage exited to, Annabelle headed toward the front of the room, searching for Chase. It was as though he had disappeared into the mist.
“Can I help you, miss?” a security guard said, eyeing her with slight suspicion.
“I was hoping to catch Mr. Frost before he left. He’s a friend of mine.”
The guard shrugged. “He’s already gone. He had a few events scheduled tonight to raise the fundraising goal he set a few months ago. I’m sorry, but you’ve just missed him.”
Annabelle tried not to look as crushed as she felt. “I see. Thank you.”
“Have a good night, miss.”
Annabelle headed back out into the main lobby, where Delilah’s bachelorette party was in full swing. Forcing a smile, she rejoined the crowd, who’d barely missed her presence.
Annabelle played the part of dutiful friend of the bride-to-be. She danced like an idiot with her gaggle of girlfriends, some old, some new, and took a few more shots than she had any right to do, knowing she would regret it in the morning.
As the group took to a sticky dancefloor towards the end of the night, several guys tried to get up behind her and dance, and she tactfully pulled away every time.
The only man she could think about was Chase.
Still, he had slipped into the night as fast as he had arrived back into her life, and he hadn’t even known she’d been there. Her disappointment tasted like copper in her mouth, and she forced herself to try and have fun, all the while wanting to head home to a pint of ice cream and another cry session.
It was then that Annabelle realized she had the answer to her mother’s question. She had known something like the love she’d been looking for all her life. She’d found it one magical Christmas Eve with Chase Frost.
When Annabelle slid into her hotel bed in the early hours of the morning, she stared up at the dark ceiling, her stomach twisting and turning from too much liquor. Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up to read the text.
Hope you had a blast! Missing you tonight. Hope to see you tomorrow.
Seeing Will’s name above those words made Annabelle’s stomach hurt even more, and it had nothing to do with the booze. She left the text unanswered, setting her phone down and closing her eyes.
If only she could fall asleep, perhaps she would wake up in a world where she liked the man she was supposed to, and could move past the one her family would never accept.
Still, it was clear from the way she’d missed catching him that night that a relationship with Chase simply wasn’t meant to be. Her heart needed to stop crying about it; she had to find a way to move on.
TWENTY-ONE
Annabelle pulled off her reindeer antlers, rubbing the area behind her ears where the headband had dug in.
The Christmas Eve boat tour had been a huge success, and everyone had been given a souvenir mug full of hot cider while Annabelle focused on seasonal stories from the region’s past. She waited until the last tourist had disappeared out of sight before she let herself slouch against the side of the boat.
“Well done, Belle. You’re a saint for giving that same talk so many times today. Who knew we’d be so busy, even on Christmas Eve?”
Annabelle’s smile was weak as she nodded to Martha, who came out with a trash bag and began cleaning up bits of debris that had been left behind.
“You can call it a day now, dear. I can’t thank you enough for being willing to work today.”
Annabelle shrugged and pressed herself up from the side of the boat, making a small hop onto the dock. “Honestly, it was no trouble. I’m always happy to help.”
“And we’re always grateful,” Martha said.
Annabelle made to turn, but paused at the sound of Martha’s voice.
“Merry Christmas, Belle,” she called.
Annabelle turned and waved cheerily. “And to you! Have a great day off tomorrow!”
“We always do,” Martha chuckled.
Alex stepped out of the cabin of the Craggy Maiden, then, and Annabelle turned away as she saw him wrap his arms affectionately around his wife. The sight of a love that was so pure made her heart sting a little, and she shoved her hands into her pockets as she made her way back to her apartment.
To say that the break up with Will didn’t go well was a huge understatement. The problem was, he hadn’t yelled or screamed or called her names. As she’d said her piece, one Saturday morning in the fall, he’d sat in still silence before standing and heading for the door.
“Don’t you want to say anything?” she’d said to his turned back.
When he did turn around, his eyes had been heavy with a mixture of sadness and disappointment.
“I don’t want to regret anything. We’ve been friends for a long time, Belle, and I love you. I really do. It just looks like you’ll never really be able to love anyone else. I don’t think it’s just me. I really think it’s you.”
Annabelle had sat in stunned silence as he’d made his exit. She’d heard nothing from him for a week, then out of the blue her mother had knocked on the door of her apartment. Her expression had been subdued.
“Can I come in?” she’d asked. Annabelle had nodded, and the two had plopped down side by side on her couch.
“Is everything okay?” Anabelle had asked her mother, anxiety flowing through her.
Deborah had answered by holding out her hand, palm up. Annabelle stared at the silver key she had given Will, then met her mother’s gaze.
“He gave that to you?”
“That’s right. He’s leaving town. He said he realized that you were the only real thing keeping him here.”
“Oh,” Annabelle had whispered, sinking farther into the couch without taking the key. “I’ve made a real mess of things, haven’t I?”
Deborah had placed the key on the coffee table, shaking her head. “You followed your heart. What else can a woman do?”
“Apparently I have no heart, depending on who you ask.”
“Well that doesn’t matter. He’s hurting now, but you gave Will the freedom to go live his own life. You were honest with him, and now he’s free to find someone who will truly love him. Someday, he’ll thank you for that.”
“And what about me? What do I do?” Annabelle had mumbled, staring at her hands.
Deborah had wrapped her fingers around her daughter’s. “I can’t tell you what to do, honey, but you deserve all the happiness in the world. Someday, you’ll find it.”
Annabelle had watched the leaves change as the town continued to prosper, and in time her guilt and grief over Will dissolved into scar tissue on her heart, and she was able to forgive herself.
Still, it felt strange to be alone on Christmas Eve. Her parents had won an overnight stay at a chic new hotel an hour north of town, and this seemed to be the only day of the year that they could have a night off from baking. Kat
e had opted to spend the evening with her new boyfriend and his family, leaving Annabelle to entertain herself on one of the most magical nights of the year.
She entered her apartment and went straight toward the kitchen, opening the fridge door to see what she could make. Finding it barren, she was strongly considering ordering Chinese food when the doorbell rang.
Curious, Annabelle walked back to the door and opened it. No one was there. When she took a step into the hallway, her foot bumped into something solid. Looking down, she saw a bright red present with a green bow on top.