The Way We Were

by Sinéad Moriarty

  As they left the room Alice’s phone beeped. I hope ur okay. Call me. I’m sure I can help. I love you. D x

  It took all of her strength to put the phone into her bag and not call him.

  As she walked downstairs, Harold beamed at her for the first time in all the years she’d known him. ‘Wonderful day. What a thing to happen.’

  Alice forced a smile. ‘Yes, it is. It’s wonderful.’

  ‘I can’t quite believe I’ll be seeing my boy in a few hours,’ Harold marvelled.

  ‘It’s so exciting!’ Jools did a little skip.

  ‘We must be careful to keep our emotions in check, though. He’ll have had a difficult time. It’s important that you stay strong and don’t upset him.’

  Alice gritted her teeth. ‘They’ll react however their hearts tell them to, Harold.’

  Harold scowled. ‘Ben will need a calm environment to come home to. He’ll be pretty shaken, I imagine. He’ll require peace and quiet to readjust.’

  Before Alice could tell Harold just what she thought of his wretched advice, David and Pippa rushed through the door.

  Alice had called David late the night before to tell him and he had cried down the phone.

  He ran past Harold, picked Alice up and swung her around. ‘I haven’t slept a wink. I can’t believe it. I’m beside myself. I just can’t believe he’s alive. It truly is a miracle. What an incredible man he is. Surviving and escaping. That’s Ben, though. He’s an amazing person.’

  ‘Put her down, David, you’ll crush her,’ Pippa scolded.

  Alice managed to whisper in David’s ear, ‘Not a word about Dan.’ He looked surprised for a moment, then nodded quickly. Thank goodness he understood. Alice couldn’t bear the thought of Harold finding out about Dan – he would never forgive or forget it. Even more than Ben, they had to keep news of Dan and the engagement from Harold.

  David turned to the girls and hugged them both. He shook hands with Harold and clapped him on the back. Then the two men congratulated each other on the ‘miracle’.

  ‘Are you all right, darling?’ Pippa whispered to Alice, as she embraced her.

  Alice held on to her, glad of the support. ‘I’m not sure. I think I’m in shock.’

  Pippa squeezed her tight. ‘I’m sure you are. It’s hard to take in.’

  ‘How was Dan last night?’ Alice whispered.

  ‘A bit worried that Holly’s “breakdown” will make you change your mind. He’s desperate to talk to you. He called me this morning to ask if I’d spoken to you. I lied and said no and told him I thought you’d need a day or two to sort things out.’

  ‘I feel sick about it all,’ Alice said, trying not to cry.

  ‘I know. It’s so wonderful about Ben, but Dan’s going to be crushed.’

  ‘I love him, Pippa.’

  ‘Oh, darling, I know. I could see how happy you were last night.’

  ‘The girls don’t want Ben to find out, not yet anyway. So will you guys keep it quiet? I need to get my head straight.’

  ‘Of course. We actually discussed it last night. David said it’s up to you to decide what to do. He’ll say nothing about it.’

  ‘Thanks. I will tell Ben, just not now, not for a while.’

  Jools shouted, ‘The car’s here, Mum. Let’s go!’

  When they arrived at the airport, they were brought into a private room full of people drinking champagne and talking loudly.

  As soon as Alice walked in a big man in a ‘Welcome home’ T-shirt enveloped her in a hug. ‘You must be Alice. Isn’t this the best day ever?’

  Alice nodded politely.

  ‘I’m Declan’s da, Billy. We spoke on the phone after it happened. Do you remember?’

  Alice had a vague memory of it, but she had been in the throes of grief and shock and it was all very hazy. ‘Yes, of course. How are you?’

  ‘Feckin’ ecstatic! Can you believe it, Alice? Our lads were alive all this time. I’m going to kill that Declan when he gets off the plane. I had hair before this happened.’ He grinned and patted his bald head.

  ‘I’m Jools.’ She proffered a hand.

  ‘Come here to me, you little beauty.’ Billy hugged her, then Holly, Kevin, David, Pippa and even Harold, much to the older man’s dismay. ‘Now come and meet my mad lot.’ Billy introduced his five children plus their spouses and children. Forty-one people in all.

  Alice was glad of the company and the crowd. It was easier to disappear among all those people and it was distracting too.

  A few minutes later Billy came back over and handed her a glass of champagne. ‘Get that down your neck. You look like you need it. I thought I was going to have a heart attack myself when I heard the news yesterday. We all flew over on the six a.m. flight this morning. None of us slept a wink. It’s just magic.’

  ‘Yes, yes, it is.’

  Billy patted her back. ‘I can see you’re overwhelmed, love, and I understand. It’s like they’ve risen from the dead or something. We’re all in shock. When I spoke to Declan last night, I thought my heart would burst. He sounded just like himself. You know?’

  ‘Yes, I do.’ Alice smiled, Billy’s enthusiasm was infectious.

  ‘Declan told me your Ben was brilliant to him out there. I think they helped each other through it.’

  Alice hadn’t spoken to Ben about Declan because he’d been too busy asking about the girls.

  ‘It’s just going to be brilliant to see them and get back to normal. It must have been very hard for you and your girls.’

  Alice gulped some champagne. ‘Yes, it was. But for you too. I mean, losing a son is just as bad.’

  ‘I thought I’d die of a broken heart. I was just talking to Harold about it, but he kept banging on about “all in the past” and “onwards and upwards”. He’s a cold, uptight git, if you don’t mind my saying.’

  Alice threw her head back and laughed. ‘I couldn’t agree more.’

  ‘Seriously, who ate his dessert? You’d swear nothing had happened. He’s going to pretend Ben was never away. That’s not right. My Eddie is married to Marie over there talking to your girls. Well, Marie loves reading them psychology books and she said we need to let Declan talk about it and get it off his chest. Pretending like it never happened is what they used to do in the world wars and that’s why so many soldiers were so messed up. They came home from being on a battlefield, watching their friends getting their heads blown off, and their wives offered them a cup of tea and a cucumber sandwich! Feckin’ mad, that is. Maybe that’s what happened to Harold.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Or he’s just a dickhead. No offence.’

  ‘None taken.’

  ‘So, what are you going to say to Ben?’

  Alice hadn’t thought about that. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘I’m going to tell Declan that if he ever gets on a plane again, I’ll shoot it down myself, and that Manchester United are having a terrible season.’

  What would Alice tell Ben? How could she even begin to fill in the last two years? She started to panic again.

  ‘Take a sip of champagne. I can see your nerves going. So, how did a nice Irish girl like you end up with an English surgeon?’

  Alice paused, then said honestly, ‘Love. Ben was the most perfect man I’d ever met.’

  ‘I thought my wife was perfect when I married her, but then she fecked off with a Polish plumber so I realized she wasn’t so perfect after all.’

  ‘Sorry to hear that.’

  ‘Shit happens. You get over it and move on.’

  ‘Yes, you do.’

  ‘You don’t realize how strong you are.’

  ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘Life has to go on.’

  ‘I agree.’

  ‘Otherwise you’d never get out of bed.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘The key is to look to the future and away from the past.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And you have to look for happiness again and take it.’
>
  ‘Exactly. That’s what I did and now I’m engaged to someone else.’

  ‘Jesus Christ!’ Billy’s eyes almost popped out of his head.

  Alice’s hand flew to her mouth. ‘Jesus – sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Oh, my God, I think I’m going mad. I’m just so … so …’

  Billy pulled her over to the corner of the room, took the champagne from her and handed her a tissue. ‘Right, no more booze for you. Look, love, you need to keep that info on the QT. The media are going to be all over this story. Two doctors presumed dead come back home? It’s going to be a zoo when it gets out. You can’t tell anyone about the other man. And if I was you, I certainly wouldn’t be telling Ben anytime soon. You need to let the poor man recover from his ordeal first.’

  Alice looked up. ‘I know. I am. I will. I’m not a bad person. I thought Ben was dead. I met Dan six months ago and he … after all the grief and loneliness, he swept me off my feet. I loved Ben more than anything, but he was gone. He was dead.’

  ‘Hold on now, I’m not judging you, love, I’m just giving you advice. You need to wait a bit before dropping that bombshell on your Ben.’

  ‘I’ll have to break up with Dan.’ Alice was crying again.

  ‘Oh, Jesus, don’t cry. I can’t handle women crying. This is supposed to be a happy day.’

  ‘I’m so stressed I think my head is literally going to spin off.’

  Billy shook her gently. ‘Your long-lost husband is going to walk through that door any minute now, and you need to be smiling and acting happy. I don’t know about this Dan fella, but I do know that you’ll be savaged if the press gets wind of this. And if you don’t look the part of the happy wife, it’ll only encourage them to start sniffing around.’ Billy took her hand. ‘Come on, love, shoulders back and smile. I’m here, beside you. Here we go.’

  Alice clasped the stranger’s hand and held her breath …

  Ben

  Declan ran down the steps and kissed the ground. ‘We’re home, Benji! We made it.’ He threw himself on Ben and they hugged.

  A man in a dark suit greeted them. ‘Welcome home. I’m Quentin Jones of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. We’re very glad to have you back, gentlemen.’

  ‘We’re very glad to be home.’ Ben shook Quentin’s hand. ‘It’s been a rocky ride.’

  ‘Yes, indeed, terrible thing to happen. I understand you’ve been debriefed already at the embassy in Eritrea. I’ll need to go through some details with you later on but, for now, if you’ll follow me, your families are waiting for you.’

  Ben grabbed Declan’s arm. He felt faint with excitement. For more than two years he’d prayed and dreamt of this moment and now it was happening. He was home. He was going to see his family. He swallowed the emotion that was threatening to swamp him.

  Declan patted his arm. ‘Don’t lose it. Don’t cry all over them – you’ll freak them out. Just walk in there and say, “I love you and I’ll never leave you again.” ’

  Ben exhaled deeply. ‘Thanks, mate.’

  Declan playfully punched his shoulder. ‘It’s been one hell of a rollercoaster. I couldn’t have done it without you. You saved my life more than once and my sanity on a daily basis. You’re one hell of a guy. I …’ His voice broke.

  Ben put his arm around Declan. ‘Hey, I feel the same way. You saved me out there, you crazy Irish bastard.’

  Declan grinned. ‘Who should I shag first? Eva Longoria or Beyoncé?’

  ‘Why not have a threesome?’

  ‘You’re a genius.’

  Quentin Jones paused in front of two large iron doors. ‘You go through these doors and into the room on the right where your families are gathered. Are you ready?’

  Declan and Ben looked at each other and laughed. Pushing past Quentin, they rushed towards the door.

  Everything went still.

  She was standing there. It was as if a light was shining on her.

  ‘Alice, my Alice,’ Ben gasped, and beside her was another woman. ‘My Jools, my precious Jools, all grown-up,’ and then, ‘Holly, beautiful, gentle Holly.’

  Ben tried to control himself, but when Jools screamed, ‘Daddy!’ and flung her arms around him, he lost it.

  Holly and Jools clung to him. He held them tight and they all cried. Alice stood beside them, looking lost. Ben reached out a hand to her and pulled her in. He tried to kiss her but only got the corner of her mouth because Jools moved.

  ‘Welcome home,’ Alice said. She had to shout as there was pandemonium going on, with Declan’s family whooping and cheering and crying.

  ‘I’m sorry, Alice, I’m so sorry,’ Ben said, and Alice began to cry.

  Ben managed to find a space between the two girls and stepped forward to hold his wife. He inhaled her scent. ‘Alice, my Alice.’ He breathed deeply, drinking her in.

  ‘Hello, son,’ Harold said, from behind Alice.

  Ben opened his eyes. ‘Dad!’ He let go of Alice and reached out to his father. They hugged awkwardly.

  Harold’s eyes were moist when he looked at his son. ‘Good to have you home safely. Rotten lot those Eritreans, unruly, simply feral.’

  ‘Yes.’ Ben nodded.

  ‘Still, you’re back now. All in the past.’

  The past? He’d barely landed. Did his father really think he could wipe out the last two years in two minutes? Ben pushed the angry thoughts to the back of his mind.

  ‘Ben!’ David threw his arms around his best friend.

  ‘Oh, David, it’s so good to see you.’

  ‘Let me in.’ Pippa laughed, and nudged her husband aside so she could hug Ben too.

  ‘Dad, did you miss us?’ Jools clutched Ben’s arm as David and Pippa stood back.

  ‘Oh, darling, more than you can ever know.’ Ben held her to him again.

  ‘Daddy, look, we’re wearing your necklaces.’ Holly showed him her H.

  ‘Oh, my God, you got them.’

  ‘Yes, and I never took it off. Ever,’ Holly assured him.

  Ben kissed her beautiful face. ‘I missed you so, so much.’

  ‘Never leave us again,’ Jools said. ‘Never.’

  ‘Never.’ Ben caught them in his arms.

  ‘You look the same, Daddy,’ Holly said. ‘I was worried you’d be different.’

  ‘Well, he’s thinner,’ Jools said.

  ‘You both look so grown-up. I can’t believe how much you’ve changed.’

  ‘But we’re the same inside,’ Holly said. ‘Well, a bit sadder, but the same.’

  Ben winced.

  ‘Shut up, Holly!’ Jools snapped.

  ‘Oh, it’s okay, Daddy. I’m not sad any more.’ Holly was upset.

  ‘I promise I’ll make it up to you both. We’re going to be together all the time now.’

  ‘Good!’ Holly said.

  Declan tapped Alice on the shoulder. ‘The beautiful Alice, I presume?’

  She smiled. ‘Yes. And you must be Declan.’

  Declan kissed her cheek. He leant in and said, ‘Your husband is the best man I ever met. He’s a hero to me. And I can tell you, he loves you more than anything in the world.’

  ‘Wow. Well … that’s lovely to hear … thank you.’ Alice stumbled over her words, trying not to let emotion overwhelm her again. ‘How are you doing?’

  ‘I’m okay, thanks. But once I’ve had a few pints of Guinness and got laid, I’ll be great.’

  Ben moved over to them. ‘Stay away from my wife, you.’ He grinned and put an arm around Alice’s shoulders.

  ‘Don’t worry, Benji. I’m not going to try it on with Alice.’

  ‘Benji?’

  ‘Declan’s annoying nickname for me,’ Ben explained.

  ‘I see,’ Alice said. ‘What was your nickname for him?’

  ‘Mostly Ben just called me the MIB – Mad Irish Bastard.’ Declan grinned.

  ‘Can you believe I’ve had to sleep beside this reprobate for two years?’ Ben said.

  ‘Sounds cosy.’ Alice smiled.r />
  ‘I’m happy to hand him back to you, Alice,’ Declan said. ‘You can sleep with him now and put up with his smelly feet. I’m going to find myself a supermodel.’

  Alice felt her stomach sink. The idea of sleeping with Ben terrified her. She longed for Dan’s protective arms around her. Stop it! she shouted inwardly. Your husband is home. Stop thinking about Dan.

  Billy came thundering over and flung his arms around Ben. ‘How the hell are you? I’m Billy.’

  Ben laughed. ‘I’ve heard an awful lot about you, Billy.’

  Billy kissed him on both cheeks. ‘Thank you for looking after my lad. He told me how brilliant you were to him. We’re for ever indebted to you. Christ, I’m just over the moon to have you home.’ Billy wiped tears from his face.

  ‘Jesus, Da, stop crying, you’re killing me,’ Declan said.

  ‘I can’t help it, you little shit. I thought you were dead.’

  Declan held his father’s hand. ‘I’m back now, Da. Back to torment you.’

  ‘If I even hear of you looking at a picture of Africa I’ll kneecap you, do you understand?’

  ‘Calm down.’ Declan patted his father’s arm.

  ‘I’m serious. You are never to go anywhere but the UK and Ireland.’

  Two men came over and introduced themselves as Declan’s brothers, Sean and Eddie.

  ‘You gave us some fright, you bastard,’ Eddie said, thumping Declan on the back.

  ‘Poor Da lost all his hair. You’ll have to pay for one of them hair transplants for him,’ Sean said.

  ‘Don’t worry, Da. I’ll get you a nice thatch.’

  ‘Maybe we could grow marijuana on it.’ Eddie snorted.

  ‘Or a herb garden,’ Alice said.

  ‘I love a bird with a sense of humour. I’m taking her home to Dublin,’ Sean said, linking his arm through Alice’s.

  ‘I don’t think so. She’s all mine.’ Ben drew Alice closer to him. She crossed her arms and glanced at the girls.

  ‘Did you hear Declan’s plan for the next few weeks?’ Eddie asked Sean.

  ‘No?’

  ‘Tell him, Declan.’

  ‘I’m going to ride every bird I meet and then I’m going to find an Alice and get married and have a shedload of kids.’

  Billy coughed and Alice was blushing.

  ‘Not a bad plan,’ Sean said. Then, shouting over his shoulder, he said, ‘Here, Collette, I’m going to hang out with Declan for the next few months. You look after the kids and the garage, okay?’