Indulge

by Liv Morris

I walk to the bar and ask Sammy for a Choice Cherry Gold. We make small talk. I have always thought he was cute as button. He has the good ol’ boy look going on. He’s clean shaven, keeps his hair short, and has a perfect tan year round. He asks me about school, swimming, and that’s when my phone beeps. I look down, and it’s a text from a number I know, but have tried so hard to erase from my memory. Dylan. My insides begin to shake, and Sammy looks at me like he’s afraid I’m going to pass out. To look or not to look at the text is the question. He has a way with always ruining a great night. How is that possible? It’s like he can always see me.

  I decide to look at it, if not, it will drive me crazy the remainder of the night. I open my message app and click on the new message. I’m not sure exactly what I planned to see, but this wasn’t it. It is Joe and another girl at a cabin with minimal clothes on. How the hell is he doing this? How does he know where everyone is, gets these pictures, and gets into my head? I have no right to feel the way I do because Joe and I aren’t together. Heck, we all know I’m not going to put out. I close my phone and focus my attention back on Sammy.

  As we wrap up our conversation, I feel the hard-working hands that I have known since I was four wrap around my waist as he whispers into my ear, “Let me rescue you from Sammy.” I just smile, tell Sammy I’ll see him in a little while, and walk back to the table with Cash. I take a minute to glance at Cash as we walk, jeans that fit just right on his ass, a button down shirt that’s not tucked in, boots, and no hat. That dark hair is just perfect, and the smell of his cologne alone is intoxicating. Piper is looking my way with that I know what you are thinking look.

  “‘Bout time you got back, Charley. I thought you were going to be a barfly all night.”

  “Aw, hush, Pipe. You know you like looking at Sammy as much as any girl in here. Who knows, now that you’re outta high school he might actually give you the time of day,” I say with a smirk.

  Piper just ignores the comment and picks up her pool stick for her next shot. Cash takes me and pulls me onto his lap. I swear, there is nothing better than being around friends that you have known forever. After that picture from Dylan, I’m feeling a little out of my element, and I already know that Cash has noticed. He hasn’t said anything yet, but he will. He pulls me in tight and whispers into my ear, “Are you okay?” I try to ignore it, but that is when I notice Dustin coming through the door. I can feel Cash’s arms around me tighten.

  I turn around, place my arms around his neck, and mouth to him it’s okay. He looks at me like I’ve lost my damn mind, so I do what anybody would do in this situation. I place my hand on Cash’s jawline, smile, and give him a soft, sweet kiss. When I pull away, I can tell that he is still focused on Dustin. I take him by the hand, give Piper the we’ll be back in a few look, and pull him out to his truck.

  “Get in the cab, Cash.” He does as I ask and closes the door. “Look. I saw Dustin at the Burger Shack. It amazes me that he has no clue about his asshole of a brother. Don’t get all riled up over nothing. I’m fine.”

  “Something’s up, Char. I know it as well as you do. So either start talking, or we’re going home right now.”

  “Fine.” I take my phone out of my pocket, open up the messages and hand it to him. He grins...he freakin’ grins!

  “Looks like Joe’s having fun, but where did it come...” He stops mid-sentence. He doesn’t need me to answer. “That piece of shit! How is he doing this, Charley? He has someone on the inside. It has to be someone in that house with Joe.” The thought that someone Joe trusts is part of the problem makes my stomach turn flips. Cash and I just sit... sit... and think.

  Without saying a word, Cash pulls me tight into his arms. I. Am. Safe.

  “You wanna go home, Char-coal?” he whispers.

  “Hell no! I will not let him control me! Let’s go back in and have fun. I have to go back to school soon. He needs to realize that I’m not scared of him and his bullshit.”

  “Char, calm down. You can’t go back in there like that. Everyone will be asking twenty questions. We can talk about this tonight after we shut Turtle’s down.”

  “Now you’re talkin.’ Come on, Cash Money! My money’s on us tonight!”

  Cash looks at me with his half-crooked grin and yanks me from the truck. We walk back into Turtle’s and everyone’s eyes are on us. I know what they are thinking, and let them think. I grab Cash’s hand, lace my fingers through his, pull him close and just let them think. Cash looks at me with a wink, and it’s time to play some pool.

  “About damn time, you two!” Piper hollers from across the table. I just shrug my shoulders. She knows better than anyone that nothing went on in that truck. She also knows that now Cash is here, she has lost her partner tonight at the pool table. She turns to Justin, saunters up to him, puts on the charm by talking sweet and putting her hand on his chest. I can only imagine what she is saying to him, but it works. She has a new partner now.

  We all throw our money onto the table, then draw for who we’re up against during round one. We draw Jordan and Jackie. This is going to be easy. Jackie just stands there and looks pretty, and I’m right. We shut them down quickly. Justin and Piper get beat by Logan and Tina; Dustin and Kara beat Matt and Jenny. We all know each other, but aren’t necessarily friends. It’s just for fun.

  It’s time for round two. We are up against Justin and Piper, which is fun, but the final round is beyond intense. We have to play Dustin and the tension in Cash’s shoulders lets me know this isn’t going to be good. He’s ready to beat the hell outta him, even though he’s innocent.

  While we wait for them to finish playing Jordan and Jackie, Cash is perched on a stool with his pool stick. I take the stick and prop it against the wall along with mine. I turn around to face him and him pull close. Using my hands, I rub up and down his back and just love on him.

  “Relax, Cash. It’s a game, not life or death. He doesn’t know anything. Just have fun.”

  “Char, I still think he knows something. How can’t he?”

  “Look at me, Cash. He doesn’t. He isn’t Dylan. Now, focus on me, and let’s kick their ass!” He smacks my ass, and as we turn around entering the doorway is a ghost from the past, Trent. Cash stands off the stool, clinches his knuckles, and begins to take a step. I keep my feet planted where they are and do the only thing I know to do. I grab Cash and press my lips to his like my life depends on it, because it does. When Cash tries to stop me, I just keep pressing harder and finally he gives in. I don’t give two shits who is watching because I can’t let Cash talk to Trent. He was there that night; he knows exactly who put the drugs into my beer, and what Dylan had planned for me.

  I pull away from him slowly. “Are you ready to kick some ass?”

  “You bet your ass I am, Char!” The plan worked for now. Let’s see how long we can keep Trent away from Cash. He will say something smart. That’s a given.

  Dustin racks the balls, and they make first shot. We have solids. Fine by us. Each time I see Cash begin to get agitated, I get close to him. It’s like just moving near him brings him back to reality. We beat Dustin and Kara and put the money into our pockets. They should know better. Since the first game that Cash and I played as a team, we’ve won. The only time we lost was when I was with Dylan. I honestly think that should have been my sign. It’s getting close to midnight, and I need to start heading home. Justin has agreed to drive Piper’s car home, and his friends will pick him up there. Cash and I put up our sticks, and when we turn around, Trent is there. Oh shit.

  “Well, if it isn’t Charley. How are you?”

  “I’m fine; just about to leave, though. If you’ll excuse us.”

  He moves a step closer. “I see that you are still using Cash when it’s convenient.”

  With that one sentence, my world begins to erupt. Cash is in front of me saying words I’ve never heard come out of his mouth. Trent just stands there and laughs. That only makes Cash madder. He pushes Trent backwards and tells him to leave
me the hell alone. I do not want people to see what is about to go down. I try to pull Cash back, but he yanks his arm from me and is back in front of Trent.

  “You listen real close, you son of a bitch. There is nothing convenient about Char and me. You need to leave us the hell alone, or I’m going to have to kick your ass right here. Got it?”

  Trent just laughs, and it pisses off Cash. Before I have time to react, Trent and Cash are being thrown out of Turtle’s to the parking lot by Sammy. This is about to get ugly. I hurry after them with Piper and Justin behind me. Others just glance over their shoulder and go back to their games and beer. Then, I notice that Dustin is coming out the door.

  “Cash, stop it!” He stops for a brief moment, but that is the stupidest thing I could have done. Trent takes his right fist and meets Cash’s jaw. His head turns in slow motion before he hits the ground. “Casssshhhhhh!” I scream. He gets up, takes a step back, and then lets into Trent like he hasn’t been hit at all. That’s my Cash. When he gets Trent on the ground, he has no mercy, and if he doesn’t stop, he’s going to be facing murder charges. I’ve got to do something, and that’s when I notice Dustin walking toward Cash.

  “Cash, man. Let it go. He’s got your point.” Cash stops dead in his tracks, gets off Trent and starts to go ape shit on Dustin.

  “Cash, stop! It’s not his fault! Stop! Pleassseee, I’m begging you! If you love me, stop!” Cash has a delayed reaction, but stops before he does something stupid to Dustin.

  “Charley, what do you mean, it’s not my fault? What are you talking about?” Dustin questions.

  “It’s nothing. Nothing. Just drop it.” Cash looks at me like he doesn’t believe that just came out of my mouth. He turns from Dustin, walks toward me, grabs my wrist, and pulls me to the truck. He doesn’t look at me or say a word to me the entire way back to our farm.

  When we reach the farm, Cash doesn’t drive to the house. He takes the side road leading to the field and the club. Still not a word. When we get there, he turns off the truck and just sits. Then, he begins to cry. I have no idea what to do. In all the fourteen years I have known him, I can count the number of times I have seen him cry. He takes a deep breath and looks at me.

  “Dammit, Char! You should have told him. Right then. He would have believed you, I know. Why didn’t you? You can’t keep this a secret forever. It’s going to tear all of us apart. Every time I see one of them, I want to rip their nuts off. I know they didn’t do it, but they are either related or know who did. And Trent, if he knew it was going to happen, he’s just as bad as Dylan.”

  “I just can’t. I don’t want it to be a reality anymore. I want him to just go away, but he won’t do that. He just keeps appearing.”

  “Don’t you realize that he is going to keep doing that until he knows he controls you forever?”

  “Cash, what do you want me to do? There’s no point in talking about it; I couldn’t ever prove that night happened. It would be our word against his.”

  We sit there another minute before going up to the club. Not much has changed except the weather is getting colder, and Cash has the kerosene heater in place. I climb up first then Cash. He starts the heater; I take off my boots and grab a blanket.

  “By the way, I meant to tell you how beautiful you looked tonight,” he says as he walks toward me and has a seat.

  “Thanks... and thanks for being there tonight. I mean, I really wish you wouldn’t have beat the shit out of Trent, but I hate to see what would have happened if I were alone. You know I doubt I’m the first that has ever had that mess happen to them at one of those parties.”

  “Char, we have got to do something. You’re going back Sunday, right?” I nod. “We’ve got to have a plan. Starting with letting Joe know that someone he knows is the one behind the pics at Southern. You think he’d meet us tomorrow before going back for practice?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know who all rode with him, but I can find out.” I text Joe, and he said that he can meet us for lunch somewhere on the highway. We pick Texas Roadhouse, of course.

  Cash and I stay up talking about life, the farm, us, and then I notice how his jaw is the size of Texas. I go to the freezer, grab an ice pack and place it on his face. He smiles, and we keep talking. Before we know it, the sun is starting to come up. We both know that we need to go home, but neither of us wants to say it. Instead, I cuddle up beside him and fall asleep.

  We wake up to my phone blaring. Piper.

  “What’s up, girlie?”

  “You with Cash?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Well, undoubtedly after you left last night, Trent took it upon himself to talk about you to Dustin. He didn’t look so sure of it, but he’s saying some bad stuff. Like that you were the one using and knew what was going on. No one else was around but Justin and me. I told him if he mentioned anything to anyone, I would personally make him pay.”

  The way that Cash is looking at me makes me feel like he can feel my thoughts. He pulls the phone from my hand, gets the scoop from Piper, and hangs up.

  “We’re going to the Sloan house. Right now.” I don’t say a word; instead, tears begin to fall.

  We get to their house, and Dustin’s truck is there. Cash goes to the door and their mom answers. Then I see Dustin. He looks like hell. He walks out of the house and to Cash’s truck. He sees me and then looks at Cash.

  “Cash, man. I don’t know what went on with my brother, but I’ve known Trent long enough to know he’s full of it.”

  “Well, I’m glad you can see through him because a lotta folks can’t. Charley wants to talk to you, if you don’t mind.”

  I get out of the truck, and we all sit on the tailgate. Everyone looks at me, and finally I tell the truth.

  “Dustin, I’m sorry if I looked like I’d seen a ghost at the Burger Shack, but y’all look alike, and I didn’t know if you knew anything. Your brother did something to me that no one should ever have to go through. I’ve known for a long time that Trent, Dylan, and some of the other guys did a few drugs, but I never in my wildest dreams thought they could do something so extreme to one person.”

  Dustin looks at me with total confusion.

  “He put the date rape drug into my beer at Trent’s. Then, he raped me. My parents were outta town, and if Cash hadn’t shown up at my house, I have no idea what would have happened to me.”

  Dustin doesn’t say anything, and Cash doesn’t either. That in itself scares me shitless. Then, Dustin finally speaks.

  “Charley, you’re a great girl. In fact, I don’t know how my brother even got you to go out with him in the first place. He’s caused this family so much heartache between girls, drugs, and then almost losing his scholarship. I hate to say it, but it doesn’t surprise me that he could be that stupid.”

  “But, there’s more. He has someone keeping tabs on me at school. I need your help. Can you help me find out who it is?” I say.

  With Cash there as my witness, Dustin agrees to help us. We head back to my house. I change and Cash goes home to do the same before going to meet Joe.

  We arrive at the restaurant, and Joe comes in alone. This is somewhat awkward. I never really thought about them meeting. Cash stands and introduces himself. We order and then Cash just lays it out there about the picture of him, Trent, Dustin, everything.

  I can see the embarrassment in Joe’s face. He has nothing to be embarrassed about because we aren’t together. We discuss how the plan has changed, and we are going to let Dustin help us find out who at Southern is helping Dylan.

  We leave on a good note, and Cash and Joe agree that Cash needs to come visit as much as possible in case Dylan decides to show up... because he is... I can feel it. In my soul, I know he’s going to appear, and I want to be ready.

  Our ride back to Grassy Pond is quiet. When we return, Cash tells me that he will be at the first meet I have at home or away. I smile, not because it’s what I need him to do, but because it’s what I want him to do. He has never m
issed a meet of mine.

  I enjoy the remainder of my break that night with Cash, Piper, Tessa, Mama and Dad. I go to church Sunday morning, eat lunch at my grandparents, and then make my way back to Southern for practice.

  Chapter 12: Let the Meets Begin

  I arrive back at Southern with just enough time to get to practice. I enjoyed my time at home, but know that it is now or never with the team and class. In a little over a month, the season will be underway, exams, and then I’ll be home for Christmas break.

  As I walk into the locker room, the smell of chlorine hits me. I see that everyone has made it back but Georgia. Undoubtedly, she had bad traffic on the way here. I change into my suit and head to the pool. Coach is there waiting on us, and boy, is she waiting.

  “Girls, it’s time to show those Livestone girls what they are up against. That meet is getting close. We have an exhibition meet at home this Saturday against Monroe and Central. Make sure you do everything you can to be prepared.”

  I can’t help but get excited about everything that is going on in my life… the team, class, Joe, Cash, and a great group of friends. I pull myself from my thoughts as I hear Coach’s whistle blow. Oh crap! Time to put on my goggles and go!

  Coach has had no mercy on us today, let alone I didn’t do any type of working out while I was at home. I’m going to hate myself in the morning. Georgia finally makes it to practice, and Coach doesn’t give her too hard of a time. We finish our last set and then the team decides to go eat supper together.

  The café is open, but we decide to order a pizza and hang out on our hallway. It’s time for a little team bonding.

  “Charley, did you get any action on break?” Tori wastes no time finding out what she wants to know.

  I look at her like she’s lost her damn mind. She has no idea the shit I dealt with while I was home… seeing Dustin, the text from Dylan, Cash beating the shit out of Trent, and me finally explaining everything to Dustin.

  “Um, no, Tori. I didn’t get any action, but I did have a pretty interesting break.” They all look at me wanting more of an explanation. I now have to be as vague as possible. Georgia glances my way. I’ll fill her in later.