by Dawn Brower
“You’re too kind,” she said sweetly. “I’m afraid my bag is too large to fit under my seat properly. Do you know if we’re to have any other passengers sitting with us?” He glanced around the compartment. “I can’t say.” He should have purchased the entire section then he could tell her it would just be the two of them for the trip to London. Though if he had bought the entire section she wouldn’t be sitting with him. “You can set your bag over here by the wall. It won’t be a bother.” As far as he was concerned nothing about her would be.
“Are you certain?” She nibbled on those delectable lips or hers. He was jealous of her teeth.
“I am,” he said and smiled at her. “If no one else sits here we can always move it. If they do…” He shrugged lightly. “The trip to London won’t take long. It’s no bother really.”
“If you’re certain…”
“I am,” he reassured her. “Please sit.” He gestured toward the seats.
She did as he instructed and took the seat across from him. He liked having her there. Rafe could gaze upon her without having to apologize for staring. She was truly lovely.
“Forgive me, my lady,” he said. “My manners are lacking. My mother would have my head if she heard me.”
“You have impeccable manners, Mister…”
“Rafe,” he said. “Let’s not be formal. There’s not much fun in that.”
Her lips tilted upward into a wanton smile. “I should tell you that I am no lady. Though my father would love it if I married into nobility.”
“You’re dressed as a lady,” he said. “That is close enough to observe the proprieties.”
“Then we would have to revert to formalities and that would be a shame…” She licked her lips enticingly. Rafe managed to squash the groan before it rolled from his throat. “I’d like us to be…friends. I think that’s the word I’m looking for. If we are to be friends then you can use my given name and I can use yours.”
“That sounds fair,” he said. Rafe wanted to be more than friends with her. “But first you must tell me your name for us to follow this through.”
“You’re right of course,” she said and then sighed. “My name is Aletha.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Aletha.”
“I do think we’re going to be the best of friends. Mr. Rafe.”
His lips twitched. Perhaps he’d correct her later. For now he was going to enjoy the pretense…
Excerpt: Confessions of a Hellion
Bluestockings Defying Rogues Book Seven
Dawn Brower
Prologue
Weston Manor, 1823
They entered the ballroom. It was already filled to capacity. Even if they remained wallflowers, they’d be unable to avoid all the guests. Everyone must have accepted the invite. The Duke and Duchess of Weston didn’t entertain often, and they were all probably curious. Lady Samantha couldn’t blame them. She had been rather intrigued herself. She loved balls and dancing. Being invited to one of the exclusive country events at the end of the season thrilled her. She scanned the room for the duchess and found her on the far edge of the dance floor.
Marian only cared about one thing. Securing the Duchess of Weston’s assistance in learning to be a doctor. She glanced around the room until she located her, then turned to Samantha and Kaitlin. “If you’ll excuse me,” she said to them. “I’m going to talk to the duchess.”
“Don’t forget to ask her this time,” Samantha said. “I see Lord Darcy; I’m heading in his direction.” She didn’t really want the Earl of Darcy’s attention, but it sounded good to say she wanted to dance with him. “I’d hate for him to not be able to locate me. Come with me, Katie, so I’m not standing alone.”
“So you can leave me stranded as you run off with him?” Kaitlin grumbled under her breath. “You’ll owe me for this.”
“Don’t worry, dear,” Samantha replied as she dragged Kaitlin with her. “I’ll find you a dance partner too. Isn’t that Lord Asthey talking to Lord Darcy?” Her heart thundered in her chest. While she hadn’t really wanted to see Lord Darcy, she did want to see Lord Asthey. He was so handsome. Both Lord Darcy and Lord Asthey were blond, had gorgeous blue eyes, and amazing physiques. Judging them by looks alone wasn’t enough though. Only one of them made her heart race and filled her with excitement. The problem of course was he didn’t notice her as anything more than his friend’s little sister.
Kaitlin sighed and let Samantha lead her to the two earls. “I don’t need to dance.” She shook her head vigorously. “I can find a book to read and sit in the corner.”
Samantha stopped and stared at her friend. “You will do no such thing.” How could Kaitlin not want to dance? “Do you not like Lord Asthey?” That seemed even worse somehow. Samantha adored him. She wanted him for herself, but gave up on that notion a while ago. If she couldn’t get pleasure from dancing with him perhaps her friend could. Not that she wanted Lord Asthey to fall in love with Kaitlin, but he seemed to like her. Samantha wasn’t so selfish as to not wish her friend happiness. Even if it felt as if she were being stabbed in the heart every time Lord Asthey smiled fondly at Kaitlin… She shook that pain away and pasted a smile on her face.
“Lord Asthey is likeable enough,” Kaitlin said in a good-natured tone. “But I don’t like dancing.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“Nonsense,” Samantha said and waved her hand. “You just haven’t found the right partner yet.”
She narrowed her gaze. Was that her brother lounging in the corner? Samantha blew out a breath. She’d have to be careful. If Gregory, Lord Shelby, her overprotective brother thought she was getting too attached to the Earl of Darcy he might act rashly. In her brother’s mind no one was good enough for her. Especially one of the wicked earls, as they dubbed themselves. Unfortunately, Lord Asthey was also in that particular group. Shelby adored his friends. He just didn’t want any of his friends to pay any attention to his little sister.
Kaitlin placed her hand on Samantha’s arm. “I really do not wish to dance.”
What was she supposed to do? Kaitlin would be more comfortable hiding in a corner. She had to help her friend break out of her shell in some way. If she insisted on gluing herself to a wall she’d never find love. Kaitlin deserved to find someone that would adore her. Samantha wanted to help guide her there. If she couldn’t have the one man she loved, then at least Kaitlin would. “One dance,” Samantha said. “After that we can leave the ballroom if you wish.”
Kaitlin’s shoulders drooped. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll dance one but after that I don’t want you to pressure me into anything else I don’t wish to do. I’ll have your word on it.” She glared at Samantha.
“I promise,” Samantha said earnestly and crossed her finger over her heart. “You may rely upon it.”
She looped her arm through Kaitlin’s and led her the rest of the way to Lord Darcy and Lord Asthey. They were deep in conversation when they arrived next to them.
“I guess we are co-captains at this year’s cricket match,” Darcy said. “We have more options for teammates here. What should we ask for as our prize when we win?”
“A little arrogant of you to count our winnings before they’re earned, isn’t it?” Asthey lifted a brow. “Shelby is damn good at the game. I should know.”
They both stopped talking when they arrived. “We’re not interrupting are we?” Samantha batted her eyelashes at them. She was well aware of their yearly cricket match. Whenever she could she’d sneak out to watch some of their private matches. Not all of them took place at country parties. One thing stayed true throughout the years. They all played and the four of them divided up differently each year. That was how they kept things between them fair.
Kaitlin had a far away expression on her face. Her friend was probably daydreaming about something she wouldn’t share. Samantha doubted she had heard anything the two earls had been discussing. Sometimes Kaitlin lived in a world o
f her own. Samantha wished she could lose herself in her own mind every now and then. She had too many plans to live in a make-believe world. Samantha glanced at her friend then at the two earls. “Are you going to dance this evening?” Perhaps a little blunt but Samantha wasn’t known for her shy and demure demeanor. Her brother often called her a hellion. She wouldn’t apologize for who she was for any reason.
“I…” Asthey stumbled over the words.
“Why of course,” Darcy said smoothly. He bowed. “Would you care to dace Lady Samantha?”
Why couldn’t Asthey have asked her to dance? He had started to speak first. Would he have actually asked if Darcy hadn’t interrupted him? Somehow she doubted it. “That would be lovely,” she answered him. She managed to keep a bright smile on her face even though she didn’t feel anything resembling excitement. She held out her hand to him and he led her to the floor. At least it wasn’t a waltz. She didn’t want to dance such an intimate set with Lord Darcy.
Asthey bowed to Kaitlin and said something to her. She shook her head vigorously. Did her friend just decline to dance with him? Samantha seethed inwardly. Kaitlin had the one thing Samantha coveted before her and she had said no. That was…wrong. She turned to Darcy as he led her through the dance. They didn’t talk much and for that she was thankful. Asthey and Kaitlin strolled around the room. Samantha was green with jealousy but she tamped it down.
“Are you enjoying the ball?” Lord Darcy asked.
“Of course,” she answered smoothly. “Are you?”
“Yes,” he said. “It’s been quite entertaining.”
This had to be the most mundane conversation she’d ever had. Through it all she kept the smile on her face. She also kept track of every step Lord Asthey and Kaitlin took. They seemed to be having an animated conversation. Whatever Lord Asthey was saying Kaitlin found riveting. She wished she could hear it. Hell, Samantha just wished she could hold Lord Asthey’s attention as long as Kaitlin seemed to be holding it.
Would he court her? Dance with her? Love her? Would Samantha wake one day to find an engagement announcement in the Times? Her heart broke at the thought. How was she to survive in a world where one of her best friends married the man she loved? What was wrong with her? She had to let him go. He clearly didn’t see her the same way. She turned her attention to Darcy. He at least looked at her as an attractive female. He might not love her, but he appreciated her.
The dance came to an end and Lord Darcy led her to the edge of the dance floor. He bowed and said, “Thank you for the dance.”
“It was my pleasure, Lord Darcy.” Where were Kaitlin and Asthey? She had lost track of them at the end of the dance.
“If you’ll excuse me I see Lord Harrington. There is something I must discuss with him.”
Samantha wasn’t a fool. He would want to discuss their upcoming cricket match. She might try to eavesdrop later. Samantha didn’t want to miss the pertinent details. She wanted to be able to watch and secretly cheer for Lord Asthey, but she could gather that information later. It was far more important to locate Kaitlin and Lord Asthey. She curtsied. “Until next time.”
His lips twitched. “I look forward to it.” With those words he left her alone and headed toward Lord Harrington.
At that moment she caught a glimpse of Kaitlin out of the corner of her eye. She was alone. Where had Asthey gone? Samantha scanned the room feverishly. He’d disappeared. She lost her chance at securing a dance with him. The strands of a waltz filled the room. She turned to leave the ballroom before anyone noticed the crestfallen expression on her face. She ran right into a male. He had a hard muscular chest that most women might find appealing. Samantha glanced up and met Lord Asthey’s gaze.
“My apologies,” he said. “I should have been paying attention better.” He glanced past her to the other side of the room. He’d been heading toward Harrington too. She’d let him go plan with his friends but this was the only chance she had with him. Samantha wanted one dance. Just one. Was that too much to ask?
“You can make it up to me by dancing with me.” She smiled softly, silently begging him. “Please.” It was the waltz. She wanted to feel his arms around her. So she could pretend for a few brief moments he loved her.
“I…” He swallowed hard. “Of course.” Lord Asthey held out his hand to her and led her to the floor.
Samantha felt as if she were floating on clouds. Lord Asthey was a marvelous dancer and led her expertly around the floor. This was a dream. One she had every night but until now hadn’t experienced in reality. Of course it wasn’t exactly as she had dreamed it. In her fantasies he confessed his love and asked her to marry him. A lady couldn’t have everything could she?
She would remember this dance for the rest of her life. It probably would be the only dance she had with him. If this were all she would have she’d cherish it. When she was old and alone she could look back on it with fondness. If she were brave enough she’d confess her feelings. Even hellions had trouble spilling all their secrets though. Some confessions wouldn’t unburden the soul. It was best she kept her deepest desires to herself. She wouldn’t want to scare Lord Asthey away. It would break her heart even more if she never saw him again.
The dance came to an end and he led her off the floor. They hadn’t said a word throughout the entire dance. That was all right with her. It was enough to have had this one dance. She smiled at him hoping he could see how much she cared. He didn’t. He bowed and made his excuses. It was over before it ever had a chance to begin. Lord Asthey left her alone and went toward his friends. Samantha’s smile wobbled a little. She had to leave before the world became privy to her anguish. Without saying a word she turned on her heels and exited the ballroom. Kaitlin could take care of herself. Marian was still there after all… Samantha barely contained her tears until she reached her chambers. Once there she let go and cried all her pain out.
When she had no more tears to shed she sat up and wiped her face. There. That was done. Now she could move on and find a man who would love her. Lord Asthey didn’t know what he was missing.
If only she could make herself believe that…