by BobA. Troutt
*****
Socks Without Matches
Tooty’s Necktie
It was another hot and steamy day on the African grassland as a herd of giraffe moved toward the river. It had been the driest it had been in the last ten years and there was no hope of rain in sight.
“Hey, man!” yelled Chief.
“What it is,” replied Smokey as they stood out in the hot African sun.
“What you been up to, man?” asked Chief.
“Ah, nothing, dude,” replied Smokey. “I’m just trying to stay cool. You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I know where you are coming from,” snickered Chief. “Hey, man, are you going to check the party out tonight at the Giraffe Club?”
“Uh, I don’t know,” replied Smokey. “I might hang out with the boys at the river awhile and head over to the brush later. What about your boy, Tooty?”
“I don’t know. Check him out, though,” cried Chief.
Smokey looked through the tall grass across the way and there stood Tooty nipping on some leaves.
“Hey, Tooty!” yelled Chief. “Come over here, man. I want you to meet someone. He’s a cool dude”
Tooty turned and galloped over to Chief.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” asked Tooty.
“Ah, nothing much, dude,” replied Chief.
“Say, man, are you going to the party tonight at the Giraffe Club?” asked Smokey.
“I thought I might check it out,” replied Tooty. “It’s their annual necktie party.”
“Cool, man,” said Smokey. “I’ll probably see you there.”
“What kind of tie do you think you are going to wear, my man?” inquired Chief.
“Check this out, dog,” replied Tooty. “I got a snow white, shiny pearl, silk and satin laced, free hanging tie that I am going to wear.”
“Wow, man,” said Chief. “I told you he was good. He has more style than anyone I know.”
“You’re definitely right about that,” replied Smokey. “He’s a cool dude. But, can he beat Walker? He has been the champion for the last two years.”
“You mean Big Jim…Big Jim Walker?” asked Chief.
“Yeah, man,” replied Smokey. “He’s tough; he’s a slick dude.”
“I don’t know,” replied Chief. “I think I’m going to stick with my boy, Tooty. I believe he’ll win this year.”
“Well, I guess it’s time for me to move on,” said Smokey. “This sun is too much.”
The sun beat down upon the grassland as the herd moved north toward the river. As the long hot day soon passed, the grassland and brush were blanketed with darkness all around. The giant African moon stretched its light across the painted black sky. Tooty was at home getting ready for the big party at the Giraffe Club. Slowly, Tooty slipped his comb through his thick, gelled hair. He flipped his comb and pulled his hair back out of his eyes and spiked it up in a wet point on top of his head. Then he slipped on a diamond-studded earring.
“What it is,” he mumbled. “I’m going to be the top-dog tonight. Check me out, Momma,” he said as he placed a velvet strawberry colored velvet hat on top of his head between his long tall ears. “Ooh-wee, check me out, check me out.”
Slowly and carefully, he ran his hand down his long, silk tie.
“Oooooo,” said Tooty. “The feel of this silk sends chills down my long spine,” he said as he stepped back, turned to the right, to the left and back forward. “Yes, dog! Yes!” exclaimed Tooty.
Meanwhile at the Giraffe Club, the members were slowly coming in. There was a lot of excitement in the hot night air. Everyone was talking, greeting each other, telling jokes and checking each other out. The Giraffe Club was a fine and proper club. It was one of the finest clubs around the grassland and brush. It was a very well respected place, if you know what I mean. One of the qualifications for members was they had to be a certain height to become a member. It was located in the high-class, uppity part of the brush called Coconut Grove on Banana Slip Lane. Everyone was there; all the big and important ones that came to dance, dine, mingle, gossip and see who was going to win the necktie contest. All of a sudden the door flew open and Big Jim walked in. A hush fell across the room as he ran his fingers through his hair, adjusted his tie, checked for lint and then stretched a smile across his face.
“Ooh-wee,” spoke up one woman. “He is so handsome.”
“Check him out, girls,” cried another. “He’s a real cool daddy.”
As Big Jim enjoyed the compliments, he began to swell causing his necktie to get tighter around his neck.
“Please continue, friends,” he said. “I just wanted you to know that big daddy’s in the house.”
Big Jim mingled about the room; everyone was either staring at him or whispering about him amongst themselves.
“Isn’t he a dream,” exclaimed one girl right before she fainted.
My, my, Big Jim said to himself when he noticed Elisabeth and Lucille across the room. As walked over to socialize with them, he walked passed a mirror on the wall. He stopped suddenly, backed up, turned his head and admired himself in the mirror. He slowly ran his fingers through his hair and whipped it up in to a curl. He looked from side to side, reached for his tie and gently straightened it. Stepping back slowly from the mirror, he looked at his hair again, gently patted it, hunched up his shoulders and with a gentle sigh he turned his eyes toward Elisabeth and Lucille.
“Hey, girls,” he said with a big grin on his face.
“Why, hello, Big Jim,” replied Lucille.
“Nice party isn’t it,” stated Big Jim.
Yes, it is,” replied Elisabeth.
“Would you girls like to dance?” asked Big Jim.
“Oh, no,” they replied. “We…”
About that time, Tooty walked in. He was decked out from head to toe.
“Hey, Tooty,” cried a member from across the room. “You’re looking good, man.”
Tooty just laughed and threw up his hands. All eyes were on Tooty as he walked across the room.
“Hey, man,” one would say.
“You got it, dude,” said another.
“Thanks, man,” he replied.
“Hey, cool Daddy,” yelled a waiter. “Would you like some ice cold lemonade?”
“Sure, man,” he replied. “I’d love some.”
“I really like those threads you got on,” said the waiter.
“Why, thank you, my man,” replied Tooty.
Big Jim continued to mix and mingle with Elisabeth and Lucille. But, Elisabeth had her eye on Tooty.
“Look at him,” she said to Lucille. “Isn’t he so handsome?”
“Yes, he is,” replied Lucille. “I definitely agree with you on that.”
Elisabeth giggled slightly when Tooty turned and looked at her. With a warm smile on his face, he winked at her. She quickly dropped her head, smiled and then shyly peeped back up at him.
“Huh!” said big Jim as he turned and walked away. “Hey, girls,” he yelled to some other girls as he waltzed across to the other side of the room.
After Big Jim left from talking with Elisabeth and Lucille, Tooty went over to mingle with them.
“Would either of you girls like to dance?” he asked.
“Go ahead, Elisabeth,” said Lucille. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Why, sure,” Elisabeth replied. “I love to dance.”
The band started playing an upbeat tune and they hit the dance floor.
“Check the swinger out!” yelled the bandleader.
Tooty glided from one end of the floor to the other; he swung Elisabeth from left to right and right to left.
“Whoopee,” cried Elisabeth. “What a man!”
Then all the others joined Tooty and Elisabeth on the dance floor. They all bounced with the beat and rolled with the tune.
Suddenly, Tooty’s legs shot out from under him. One went this way and one that way. He w
as out of control and couldn’t regain his balance. Tooty was flopping around all over the place. He knocked over ketchup, cakes, mustard, coffee, tea and lemonade. He had stuff splattered everywhere. But, the biggest part of the mess had landed on his tie.
“Uh oh,” mumbled Tooty when he hit the floor.
“Are you alright, Tooty?” asked Elisabeth.
“What in the world happened?” questioned Lucille.
“I don’t know,” replied Tooty. “My feet and legs just went haywire,” he explained as he slowly stood to his feet.
“Look at you,” said Elisabeth. “You’re a mess.”
About that time, the club’s president walked up to the microphone.
“May I have your attention, please? The time has come for what we all have been waiting for,” he announced.
“Psst, Elisabeth,” whispered Tooty. “May I walk you home after the party?”
“Sure, I would like that,” she replied with a big smile.
Everyone stood about the room eagerly waiting for the competition to begin. The president announced each contestant and asked them to come up on stage.
“One of these five contestants will be selected tonight as our new Giraffe Club necktie winner for this year. Okay, contestants, when I call your name, I want you to step toward the judges, turn and walk back,” he instructed.
As the president talked, Tooty tried his best to get the stains out of his necktie. Unfortunately, the more he tried, the worse it got. Man, this isn’t going to work,” he thought to himself. I’m ruined; I have no chance of winning now. Elisabeth mouthed silently for him to hang in there. As the crowd cheered, one by one, the contestants stepped toward the judges, turned and walked back. When it was Big Jim’s turn he stepped forward with his tight shirt on and flexed his muscles. Everyone’s eyes were upon the judges and Big Jim.
“Do you think he’ll win again this year?” whispered one out in the crowd.
“Shhh,” hushed another.
Big Jim turned and walked back to his spot. He threw his head back when he walked past Tooty. Finally, it was Tooty’s turn. He stepped toward the judges. Elisabeth and Lucille crossed their fingers. They wanted him to win so badly.
“Woof, woof, woof,” cheered the crowd.
“Yeah, Tooty!” yelled one in the crowd as Tooty stepped back in line.
“Now, folks, the judges will take a few minutes to make their decision. So, everyone dance and have a good time,” said the president.
As the band played slowly, Tooty and Elisabeth danced. He didn’t say a word nor did she. After the song, the president took the microphone over again.
“May I have your attention, please? Our judges have selected the yearly winner. I am proud to announce this year’s winner of the Annual Giraffe Club Necktie Competition is…if I can get the envelope open. And the winner is…Tooty!” he cried.
The crowd went crazy.
“Hooray!’ yelled the crowd.
“I knew you could do it, man” shouted another.
“Come on up here, Tooty!” exclaimed the president.
Elisabeth reached over and kissed Tooty on the cheek. Tooty’s face was blushed as he walked up on stage. The crowd patted Tooty on his back as he walked up to receive his trophy. Big Jim dropped his head and walked out.
“Well, well,” said the president. “What do you have to say for yourself?”
“What it is. What it is,” replied Tooty.
“Well, Tooty,” said the president, “the judges this year chose the most original and I do have to say your messy stained tie is out of this world.”
“Hooray,” screamed the crowd. “Woof, woof, woof,” they cheered.
“Ah one, ah two and ah three, hit it guys,” shouted the band leader.
“Party time for party dogs!” one yelled.
“Hey, Tooty,” said Elisabeth. “What about that walk home?”
“You got it, girl,” replied Tooty as they strolled down the moonlit path.
“Hey, Sweetie,” she said.
“What’s that, Elisabeth,” he replied.
“Call me Beth,” she said.