by Jolene Perry
She laughs. “If it’s so great, why do you look so disappointed?”
“I…”
“You prefer the black panties, I get it.” She slides her bag further onto her shoulder. “I still can’t believe I did that.”
“I’m glad you did. It was kind of a high moment for me,” I admit.
“Well, the night is still young, for a night-owl like you.”
I choke as she walks into the backyard. What does she mean by that?
“Is your mom here? Is she asleep? Do I need to be quiet?” she asks, opening my bedroom door.
“No, not ‘til late, or early…” My heart’s beating fast. Something is definitely different. Something in the way she’s moving…or in her voice…or something.
“Can I change in your bathroom?” she asks, walking in with her bag over her shoulder.
“Yeah.” As soon as the door closes, I rip off my clothes and throw on a pair of shorts.
Then suddenly the door opens and she steps out in the smallest black bikini I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m sure my jaw drops or I do something equally embarrassing. She doesn’t make eye contact—just walks past me into the warm night air. The tiniest little strings are keeping that thing on her, one little pull and…
“You coming, Jay?”
Definitely. But I’m afraid to use my voice. She walks right up to the edge and jumps in without pause, like always. I slide into the water more slowly. Right now I’m just trying to figure out how I’m going to keep my hands off her. Knowing her past, gives me something to think about, something to be careful of. It’d kill me to make her uncomfortable, but she can’t wear something like that and think it’d have no effect on me.
“What are you doing?” She laughs when she comes up for air and I’m still standing next to the edge of the pool, arms crossed in front of me.
“Wondering how long I’m going to last with your no touching rule.”
She laughs again. “Come on out here. I want to try something.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and swim toward her. Maybe if I don’t look at her.
“Stand there, and spread your legs out.” She looks down into the water.
“Are you serious?” My heart’s beating a bit frantically. What’s she going to do?
“Yes,” she insists, “I haven’t done this since I was little.”
I let out a slow breath. She wants to swim through my legs. I do as asked, but my body’s sort of numb with anticipation. She disappears under the water and swims around behind me. She dives deeper, swimming underwater toward my legs. Now, I’ve done this plenty of times with friends and even with other girls, but never…ever…has it felt like this. The tension starts in my chest and quickly moves down to my gut.
Both her hands touch my calves and then run up my thighs. Her fingers slide into the top of my shorts as she pulls herself slowly back to the surface. Her face pauses for a moment, even with my stomach, and then her body rubs against mine until she’s standing so close there’s not even a breath between us. My skin is against her skin. Our stomachs and chests are pressed together as her arms slide around my waist.
“So, does this mean the no touching rule is lifted?”
Her lips meet mine. She’s wet and tastes like chlorine, and I never want this to end. But then she drops back into the water and swims away. In my book, the no touch rule is out the window. I follow, catching her easily. I kiss her again, and her skin is hot, even under the water.
“What do you do out here that makes you relax?”
“Kiss you.” I chuckle putting our lips together.
Her hand touches my chest. “I’m being serious.”
“So, am I,” I tease, before kissing her again.
She laughs and slides under the water, her hair floats around her like a black cape, keeping her shrouded and mysterious. I slide down in front of her and make eye contact under the water. I take her hand and swim to the deepest part of the pool, a pathetic five feet. We both come up for air.
“I sit,” I tell her.
“Sit?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.
I don’t say anything else. I just nod before taking a breath and dropping to the bottom of the pool. I run my fingertips down the length of her body as I go. Seriously, she had to know there’d be no keeping my hands off her when she’s wearing almost nothing.
Her face appears a moment later. I’m used to having chlorine burning my eyes, but she isn’t. Yet, in just a few seconds, her eyes find mine. I pull her down and we sit, facing one another on the bottom of the pool. The lights reflect dancing patterns around us, across her skin and mine. The only sound breaking the silence is my rapid heartbeat. As if reading my mind, her hand reaches out and touches the center of my chest. I follow her movement resting my fingers in the center of her chest. I’m completely distracted. All I can feel is her bare skin. Being down here by myself will never, ever be the same.
She pushes off the bottom of the pool for air, and I’m right behind her.
“You do this often?” Her hand wipes the water off her face and she rubs her eyes. I take in every movement, every feature.
“Yeah.”
“I can see why. Too bad you can’t stay down longer.”
“I can stay down longer than you,” I tease. “But sometimes I wish I had a snorkel or something so I could stay down there longer.” Will she think I’m crazy? Mom’s really the only one who knows how much I love to do that. It feels personal…but that’s ridiculous. It’s just me, sitting on the bottom of the pool. But even Sarah doesn’t know I do that.
“Thank you.” She steps closer and as soon as I feel the heat of her skin I lose my head again. My mouth is on hers. It feels like I’ll never get enough of this—feeling her like this, my hands on her back, our lips together.
She pulls away. “I float.”
“What?” I’m totally lost.
She giggles. “To relax, I float.”
I’d really just like to stand there and watch her float, but I know she wants me to do it with her. So we both lie back in the water.
“It’s too bad the city lights are so bright. You really can’t see all the stars.” She lets the water carry her. I do the same.
I reach out and touch her fingers as we lie on our backs looking at the washed-out sky. Once you get away from the city, the stars are incredible, but here, they can’t compete with the lights in Las Vegas.
I stand up and cradle her body in my arms. It feels like I’m carrying her, only she’s still floating. It makes me feel strong, like I can carry her…hold her…move with her. Her arms go around my neck, and I feel her lips on mine again. Right now, all I can think is—once again, this has to be the best night ever.
“The water feels cold tonight.” She’s breathes in deeply.
“Wanna get out?” Because I don’t… I want to stay in the pool all night, my lips on hers.
“Can I take a shower?”
“In my bathroom? Sure…” Again, I half choke on the words.
“You’re funny, Jay.” As she climbs out, I watch the water slide off her nearly naked body.
I’m a little self-conscious climbing out of the pool in my state, but there’s not much I can do about it. Not without staying in the pool a ridiculously long time to let things settle back into place. I wrap a towel around my waist and follow her inside.
“Go, ahead…” I’ll just stand out here…and wish I were with you…in my shower.
“I just want to rinse the chlorine off…I don’t want to go home.” Her brown eyes meet mine before she steps toward me once again placing her lips on mine.
I feel like I might go insane by how much I want her right now. I kiss her back, and I keep kissing her until she pulls away. But even then, I see the trace of a smile forming on her lips.
“I’ll be out in a sec.” She backs away shutting the door between us.
I stare at the closed door like an idiot. My brain’s not working right. Now what?
I run
outside and rinse off, making do with the garden hose. I have no idea what she has in mind for tonight, but I’m ready for anything. And probably if she’s taking the time to rinse the chlorine off her body, I should too. Following Sky into the shower, as awesome as it sounds, probably wouldn’t be the best move.
I step back inside when I’m done. The shower in my bathroom is still on. I should probably change—into what? Jeans? Pajamas? Okay, I’m now officially crazy. I pull off my shorts, and slide on pajama pants and a t-shirt. That should be good.
I grab a couple of dirty shirts off the floor and throw them in my hamper. She’s been in my room a few times, it’s just…she doesn’t need to think I’m a slob.
Sky’s probably naked in my bathroom right now. I’m pathetic. She’s naked under her clothes every day. The barrier is still there. The shower stops. I need to look relaxed or something. I jump onto my bed and lean against the wall. I’m fine…totally cool about Sky using my shower… just relaxed. Only I’m not relaxed because my whole body’s tense wondering what’s going to happen next.
Sky steps out of the bathroom in her yoga shorts and the tank she wore on our date tonight, minus her bra. “Do you think your mom will be upset if I stay here tonight?”
I’m lying on my bed feeling pretty smug. How awesome is it that she wants to spend the night? “I don’t know.” Mom and I have never talked about that before. And curse my need to be honest with Sky.
“Maybe if we left the door wide open? To show that we’re being good?” She steps next to the bed. I’m trying to decide how much I care about being good, but the look on her face is so soft and trusting. I guess we’ll be good.
I reach my hand out and run my fingers up the outside of her leg. “I’d love that.”
Her whole body lightens up when she sees me smile. “Me, too.” She grabs the knob on my bedroom door, opening it all the way. Turning around, she jumps over me onto my bed. She wiggles until her head is settled on the pillow next to mine. Her smile is wide and it makes me remember all the reasons I like being with her. We stare at one another for a moment.
“Thanks, Jay.” Her smile disappears and she watches her hands messing with the edge of the blanket. “I can’t. I mean…I’m not ready for more than what we’re doing…”
“I’m just happy you’re here.” And despite the aura she gives off of being more experienced, this is kind of a reminder that we’re still on the same level. Even if I might be a little more ready than she is to move forward. Or, maybe it’s just my body that thinks I’m more ready…or maybe there isn’t a difference.
“I’ve been having bad dreams again…more nights than not. Just wake me up, if I…”
It hits me again—one of the many reasons that just lying next to her is a big deal. I reach over and touch her face. “I think you’re the bravest, most amazing girl I’ve ever met.”
She looks down.
“I mean it.” I sit up and pull down the blanket so that she can climb in beside me.
“Is this okay? I mean, are you sure this is okay?” Her legs move in next to mine.
“This is…so…so good.” I slide over and she slides over. I lift my arm in invitation for her to rest her head on my chest, and she does. Now I feel like I’m doing something for her. Like I’m taking care of her. The weight and warmth of her head on my chest is filling and satisfying in a completely different way than kissing her, but also kind of the same. I know it doesn’t make sense, but this feels more like trust and getting closer than anything else. And I really, really want it.
Her fingers trace imaginary patterns on my stomach relaxing me, pulling us closer. I slide my hand up and down her side, and then more on her stomach and up and over her chest. She’s so warm, and soft. I expect a protest, but I don’t get one, so I let my hand rest there for a moment. She feels so good. I swear I could do this all night. My hand reluctantly slides off her chest and back down her stomach. Now I’m pulling us closer, because I want as much of her, pressed up against me, as possible.
“Night, Jay.”
“Night, Sky.”
And I turn off the light wondering if having her here will put me to sleep or keep me awake thinking about how awesome it is that she’s here. I’m okay with either.
SIXTEEN
When I roll over in the morning, it hits me. I fell asleep with Sky in my bed. I stretch out my arm, but instead of feeling the softness of her skin, I hear the crinkle of paper. My heart drops.
Jay,
I’m sorry, Nana needed my help and I didn’t want to wake you.
Sky
My chest sinks. I wanted to see her face this morning.
“Knock, knock.” Again, Mom’s voice is louder than her knocking. And there’s really no reason to knock since my bedroom door was open all night.
“Yeah?” I roll onto my back.
“We need to talk.”
I can tell by those four little words that I’m probably not going to like what she’s about to say. Incredibly, I hold in a groan.
“Come on in.”
She walks slowly into my room and sits on the edge of my bed. Her hands are folded in her lap and she has yet to speak. She’s wearing jeans and her brown hair is pulled into a ponytail. No makeup. It’s nice to see her like this. A little more like she was when Dad was here. She chews on her lower lip. Another sure sign I’m not going to like what she has to say. “I…we…haven’t really talked about you having girls over…to stay the night.”
“Right.” I sit up. I’m glad I have on a t-shirt and pajama pants. “We left the door open.”
“I know…it’s just…it’s a lot, Jameson. It’s a lot to get involved in.” She lets out a breath.
“Mom, we’re not having sex. I know that’s what you want to ask, and I know that’s what you’re worried about.” I wonder if that’s all she wants to know.
She closes her eyes letting out a sigh of relief. “That’s part of it, but there’s something about those late night hours, or the closeness that comes with them. I just…” She takes another breath. “It wasn’t that long ago you had all your hopes on Sarah.”
Sarah? Sarah feels like a million miles away. “Sky is like…” How can I best describe her to make Mom understand? “Sky is like no one I’ve ever met before, Mom.”
“Okay.” She smiles. “I really like her, too. It was just a bit of a shock to see her next to you in your bed when I came home last night.”
I realize that my parents have always given me the freedom of an adult, but it’s probably because I always make the responsible choice. I’ve never put Mom in a position to be uncomfortable with what I’m doing. I open my mouth to ask if I can do it again, but I stop. I don’t want her to say no because I definitely plan on doing it again.
“Do you have any plans for today?” she asks.
“Trying to keep up with my homework. That’s pretty much it.”
“Your father and I are going to meet later on.” Her voice has this soft, sad quality that she hasn’t shaken since he walked out.
It reminds me of the other part of my life—the part that’s a mess. “I …” How do I even ask what they’re going to talk about? I have no idea.
“He asked if we could talk.” Mom looks out my back door to the pool, her eyes are filled with tears. It’s the first time I’ve seen real heartbreak on her face. Sadness, yes…frustration, yes…but this is something different.
“Hey, Mom?”
“Yeah.” She turns toward me.
“I’m sorry I stressed you out last night.” She doesn’t need anything more on her plate right now.
She takes a deep breath and moves her shoulders around, like she’s trying to shake off the stress. “It’s okay, and it didn’t stress me out. It just surprised me. I want to make sure that your feelings for Sky are genuine. No girl wants to feel like she’s in second place.”
Like Mom probably feels right now. “Sky’s amazing, Mom.”
“You’re falling for her fast, aren’t you?�
�� Her eyes look clear again and a smile is starting to crease the edges of her mouth.
“Yeah.” It sorta takes my breath away. Sky takes my breath away.
“Are you swimming this afternoon?”
“Always.”
“Well, I’ll let you know how it goes.” She rubs her hand on my knee a few times, before leaving my room.
I’m about to ask her if she can find out why Dad hasn’t called me back, but at this point, it’s probably not a good idea. They have enough to hash over without bringing me into the mix.
***
I don’t know how long I’ve been swimming, but my legs are burning, my arms are burning, and I’m about to call it quits. I slow down and let myself sink to the bottom. That’s when I notice slim bronze calves under the water.
It’s Sky, resting her feet in the pool.
Part of me wants to rush up to her, but I sit and stare at her legs instead. Mom’s right. I’m falling fast. It’s a completely different feeling than how I fell for Sarah. And I really need to stop thinking about Sky and Sarah in the same thought. It’s just that they’re the only two girls I’ve ever loved. Do I love Sky? I need air.
“Hey.” She smiles when our eyes meet.
“Hey.” Yep, I’m in love with Sky. I wade over to her. My face is about level with her stomach. I rest an arm on either side of her legs. Tiny shorts, today…
“You’re all wet.” Her smile is wide as she puts a warm hand on both sides of my face.
“The pool does that.” I smirk.
“Funny.”
“Wanna join me?” I grab her waist like I’m going to pull her in.
“Not today.” Her voice is relaxed so I loosen my grip.
“I missed you this morning.”
“Well, it was barely morning when I left.” She giggles in her soft voice.
“I looked forward to waking up next to you.”
“Well, if you’d woken up in the morning, and not the afternoon, you could have.” She rubs her hands across the top of my head.
“Maybe we could try it again sometime.” I don’t breathe as I wait for her to answer.
“I’d love that. I slept better last night than I have in a long time.” Her face comes down until it’s resting on my head. Her hair falls around me nearly touching the water.