by T. S. Ryder
"What?" Amanda pulled out into traffic and began heading home.
"The Alpha is going to come visit my town school tomorrow."
Amanda tensed. Jace was going to Logan's school?
Not because of Logan, she reminded herself. He doesn’t know about him. He’s just going because he's meeting the students as the new Alpha.
It was the main reason that he was returning to the packlands with his girlfriend. His father wasn't a young Wolf anymore and had decided to take the unprecedented step to retire before he died, handing the leadership of the pack to Jace while he was still around to help the transition go more smoothly.
"That's great, sweetheart," Amanda managed to stutter out, her heart strumming like a bass guitar.
She was glad that her son's hearing wasn't sharp enough to hear it. There were some Wolves who could hear heartbeats, but rarely could do so in human form. If they could, her heart would have given her away every time Jace's name was spoken.
Other than occasionally seeing him from afar in town, Amanda hadn't seen Jace since graduation. It had been very hard the first few years after Logan was born to not call Jace up and tell him about their son. Even though she had begun dating someone right away after they broke up, she had never been able to feel more than a mild attraction to another man. But as time passed, even thinking about confessing this huge secret to Jace was enough to send her into palpitations.
"I hope that I get to talk to him," Logan continued. "Maybe he'll give me money! Then I can buy new books for the packland library."
Amanda's gaze flickered to her son in the mirror again. He was the spitting image of her father when he was in human form. There was no way that Jace would see Logan and see himself in the little boy. At least, not right away. His personality was just like his Jace's. Bold, confident, and he always managed to end up being the leader of his group, no matter who he was with. And when he shifted, his Wolf looked exactly like Jace’s own.
After all these years, wasn't it about time that Jace learned he had a son? He was successful now and had been able to raise the pack's standard of living with both his work and donations to repair housing and public buildings. But what would she tell him when he demanded to know why she kept him in the dark about it for so many years? Would he even want to know that she had been pregnant the day he broke up with her?
And would he believe her? She started dating again within a month after graduation. It had been a mistake, but she had dated, and Jace might think that she was lying about the identity of Logan's father.
Amanda ghosted through the rest of the day, struggling to give Logan the attention he deserved as he chattered away about everything that he was excited about. Her mind was full of Jace. His smile, his scent, his confidence. She thought it might drive her crazy if she didn't tell someone about it.
When the day was done and Logan was in bed, she knocked on the door of her housemate, Betty, a human woman. She was a good person, always willing to lend an ear to Amanda's problems.
"Can we talk?" the Wolf asked.
Betty was sitting on her bed, reading one of the romances that she liked so much, but she tossed the book aside and gestured for Amanda to come in. "What's up?"
Amanda sat on the other end of the bed, trying not to gag at the cloying vanilla scent her housemate favored. She pulled her legs underneath herself, wondering how to say what she needed to say. It was clear that she needed to talk about her dilemma, but wasn't sure she really wanted to share it with Betty. She had a good heart, but often didn't see the nuances of life, and expected things to be very straightforward. Like in her romances, she thought that after the big dramatic moment, the rest was happily ever after.
"Have you heard that Jace Simpson is moving back to town?"
Betty made a face. "That's all it seems anybody talks about. Why would I care if the Wolf Alpha—but you're a Wolf." Her face went red and she winced. "Sorry. I forgot. So you must be pretty excited that your new Alpha man is coming back to town, right?"
"Not really."
Betty's eyes widened. "Why not?"
"Jace and I used to date…"
Amanda briefly gave her the story, sighing when she got to the end. Saying it out loud helped to ease the burden off her shoulders. The only people who knew who Logan's father was were her parents and herself. She couldn't talk about it with them. They were old-fashioned, and though they loved Logan to death, they couldn't understand why she didn't make Jace marry her. Better to have a more modern-thinking sounding board.
"But that's fantastic!" Betty clapped her hands, squealing. "If Jace is Logan's father, that means he's your mate, doesn't it?"
"That's not how it works."
Betty frowned. "But you two have a kid together."
"I know. But mating in the 'this is my mate' sense is very different from mating in the 'we made a kid' sense. It's not like we see a person, date them, jump into bed and, bam, we're mated."
"But that's how the movies always portray it."
Amanda couldn’t help but roll her eyes. "Because movies never sensationalize anything, do they?"
Betty shrugged.
"How Shifter mating works is fairly similar to how it works with humans who fall in love, except once a pair commits, there is a bond between them that can't be broken. There is no falling out of love. Studies have shown that when Shifters are exposed to the sight, sound, or scent of their mate, the brain releases bonding chemicals that aren't found in human brains. Yet, other than that, we date. We experiment with sex. We end up with the wrong people, and we get our hearts broken."
"Oh, hun." Betty squeezed her hand. "I can see you're still crazy for him. Why don't you go to him? Tell him how you still feel. He probably feels the same way for you, and then you can be Mrs. Alpha."
Amanda couldn't help but laugh at her friend's fairy-tale dreams. If only it would be that easy, then maybe she would work up the nerve to face him. She shook her head.
"You obviously don't follow pack gossip. He's dating someone. A human, but that's not so uncommon. It seems like all the Alphas have human mates these days. From what I've heard, she's the perfect candidate to be the Alpha female of our pack. Strong, smart, pretty. I'm no competition for that."
"You're smart and pretty."
"I'm a receptionist going to night school at a community college to get an accounting degree. I'm completely unqualified for the job. No, Jace won't drop his new girlfriend to take back his high school crush."
Not to mention that 'pretty' was subjective. She had symmetrical features and stunning eyes, but she had graduated from 'chubby' to 'pudgy' since high school, and Wolves placed a high premium on muscular appearances. She wasn't pretty by traditional standards.
"His loss, then," Betty declared. She shook her head for a moment, but then a bright smile crossed her face. "Wait, I know! Why didn't I think of that before? You don't need him, you just need his money."
Amanda gaped. "Excuse me?"
"He's the father of your child – the least he can do is pay you child support. That way you can cut back on your hours at the chiropractor's office and dedicate more time to getting your degree so you can get a better paying job." Betty tapped her knee, looking pleased with herself. It was as if she thought she had just solved all of Amanda's problems. "It's the least he can do, isn't it? After all these years of not giving you a cent."
"After all these years of him not knowing," Amanda reminded her. "No. I might be struggling a little bit, but I have this house, rent is reasonable, and my child is fed and clothed. If I tell Jace, it's not going to be because I'm after his money. I'm not that kind of girl, and he deserves better than that. Besides, if I tell him, it could upset the whole pack. I don't think there has ever been a situation like this before."
"A situation like what?"
"That the Alpha's first child is from someone who isn't his mate." Amanda shook her head, decided. As tempting as it was for her to seek out her ex-boyfriend and tell him everything, it would be better for all p
arties involved if she just kept her mouth shut. "I'm not going to tell him. It's for the best."
"The best for who?" Betty mumbled.
"Everybody. Thanks for talking with me, Betty. I really appreciate it. Now I better go study. I have that big test tomorrow night."
Betty nodded. "Anytime, hun. And if you change your mind, I know a good lawyer that is great at getting deadbeat dads to pay their due."
Amanda laughed. "I bet Jace knows a better lawyer–himself!"
Chapter Three
The next morning, just when Amanda was confirming an appointment with a new client, he walked in. She knew it was him the instant the door opened. Her senses weren't as finely tuned as they were when she was in her Wolf's form, but she had always been painfully aware of his scent. Like the air after it rained in the woods, that clean, still scent with subtle layers of cedar and earth. It was somewhat masked by the perfumes that some of the clients insisted on wearing, but it was him. Her gaze went to him instantly.
The phone clattered to the floor and Amanda stared. He had changed from the gangly, pimple-faced teen she had known before he left. His shoulders were as broad as a construction worker's, and there was clear muscle definition beneath his shirt, the buttons straining slightly as though he had purposely bought it just a little small. His completion was clear, and his skin had that smooth, glowing look of a movie star.
As if that wasn't enough, all the emotions Amanda had had when they were teens came rushing back to her. Her heart pounded, her head spun, her mouth went dry. She wanted to greet him, but was so nervous she didn't think she would even be able to stand.
"Hello, Amanda," Jace said, smiling at her.
Amanda retrieved the dropped phone and said something about calling them back before she hung up. Swallowing dryly, she tried to smile at Jace.
"Hi. I heard you were back in town."
"Yeah. I'm moving home. Can I—"
"Are you here to make an appointment?" Amanda interrupted.
She was at work, and there were clients staring at her. Heat rushed to her face. Now is not the time for this! How would she be able to finish her job if she was physically aching to be in his arms? If he wasn't here to book an appointment, he needed to leave.
"Uh… no."
Yeah. Uh. Amanda was surprised that he sounded like the same Jace she had known. For some reason, she expected to hear the eloquent speeches he must make for when he was in court. Maybe he was as nervous as she was about seeing each other again. She smoothed down her hair and tried to smile.
"I imagine as a lawyer you do a lot of sitting. Chiropractic work is—"
"I came to see you."
"Oh." Amanda swallowed. "You know where I work?"
"I would have called, but I couldn't get your number. Your mom told me where I could find you. I hope that's okay."
It wasn't okay. It was so far from okay that Amanda held her breath for a minute to stop from blurting out how much she still loved him. After six years, she should have been over him. It was clear she wasn't his mate, which meant that her own mate was out there somewhere. Pining over a high school boyfriend wasn't healthy and would only lead to a life of misery.
But she wasn't going to tell him any of that.
Instead, she made herself smile and nod. "It's fine. If you leave me your number, I can call you when I'm done working."
Jace glanced at the clients, who by this time were pretending to read their magazines rather than intrude on the conversation. "Actually, Mandy, I was hoping that we could maybe go grab a cup of coffee and catch up."
"Oh."
When he said catch up, did he mean… No, of course he didn't. He had a gorgeous, sophisticated girlfriend. What would he want with her? She was far from the glamorous partner that a billionaire-Alpha-lawyer like him wanted. He probably just wanted to talk about old times or something. Maybe clear the air so he could propose to his current girlfriend.
What should she say if he asked about her family?
"Well, I'm working right now." Amanda stared at her computer for a moment. She was being completely obvious. There was no way that Jace didn't know why she was so nervous.
Unless he thought it was something entirely different. Like she was nervous because he had a son that she had never told him about. She tensed, glancing up at him again. Did he somehow know about Logan? What would she do if he did? How could she explain it? What could she say to justify herself?
"Actually, let's go get coffee," she blurted. "I'll just pull out the temp we have working in the back to man the computer and tell my boss where I'm going."
Jace smiled. "Great."
***
Soon, she found herself sitting in a coffee shop across the road. It wasn't the best place in town, the décor being old without any sort of vintage charm. The coffee was delicious, though. Much better than Amanda had expected.
"So." Jace smiled at her. "You look fantastic. I always said that your eyes were like stars. I think working suits you. You look a lot more comfortable and confident than you did in high school."
Amanda shrugged uneasily. "I haven't really changed that much. People still stress me out, but I guess working comes with a certain amount of forced change. I couldn’t do my job if I didn't learn how to stand up to the occasional rude client. Yet, it's a great job. I love it. Not too stressful, and my interactions with other people are pretty relaxed."
"And you live in town with humans now," Jace added. "I remember how intimidating you found it being one of the few Shifters in school."
"I found everything in school intimidating." Except you. "I'm doing a lot better now, though. And I know all about what you've been up to. A bigshot lawyer. Insanely rich. Your girlfriend is one lucky woman."
"Girlfriend."
Had they mated already? Amanda's heart seized. "I'm sorry, I meant—"
"Don't be. Clarissa and I are just dating right now. She's not a Shifter and she's not sure she believes in the whole mating thing. But you're the first person to call her my girlfriend, and not assume that she is my mate, so it just surprised me. In a good way."
"Oh. I get it. Trying to date when you're a Shifter is tough. Everybody expects that you'll end up mating the first person you go out with."
"Do you? Have a mate, I mean," Jace quickly added. "I heard that you started dating someone after I went to Harvard."
He was checking up on her? Amanda couldn't stop the swell of happiness that filled her at that thought. So, he didn't just forget about her once he was away from the packlands. "I did. He was nice, but not for me. He left me."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"Don't be. It was for the best. So, Clarissa," Amanda quickly said, wanting to drive the conversation away from herself. "Did you meet her at Harvard?"
"At a coffee shop like this one, actually. I couldn't go out and buy a latte every day, but there was this cheap place near my apartment that I frequented when I needed a change of scenery. They actually had duct tape holding the tables together. We bumped into each other there and started talking. We learned that we were both going to Harvard. She's in biology and thought that I was fascinating."
"How could she not?"
Jace gave her a smile that evoked all her high school feelings. The fluttering in her stomach, the blush on her cheeks, her heart jumping erratically. She knew he didn't mean anything by it. He couldn’t help the way she reacted to him.
"We were study buddies for a while and started officially dating after I passed the bar exam. I don't think I could have gotten through university without her."
The fluttery feelings died along with the smile on Amanda's face. He couldn't have done it without her?
What about me? You broke up with me to follow your dreams, why was there room for her and not me? She knew it was ridiculous to feel this way. After all, how could lugging your pregnant girlfriend with you to Harvard help you do your homework? He didn't know I was pregnant.
"I'm probably going to marry her," Jace contin
ued, stirring his coffee and not seeing how much Amanda was dying inside. "She's a great woman. Strong, smart, and she is supportive about the pack and everything. I never realized until I left town how high anti-Shifter feelings can run, but she never thought of me as a Wolf instead of a person."
"But she's not your mate."
Jace looked up. The smile seemed forced now. "I'm not sure that I have a mate, Mandy. If I did, I would have found her by now."
"I have a son," Amanda blurted, because if she didn't she was going to demand what was wrong with her, why she wasn't his mate. "Logan. You should have seen how excited he was that the Alpha was coming to his school."
Jace froze. He swallowed thickly.
Crap. He knows.
"The father isn't in the picture?"
Amanda dropped her gaze. "No. He left me."
A long, awkward silence fell. Finally, Jace cleared his throat and stood. "I really need to get home and make sure Mom's not smothering Clarissa with pies and beef jerky. You remember what she was like. But I'd love it if you could meet her. I was a jerk, the way I left you here, and I'd like to be friends. I can't tell you how many times I saw something and wished you were there, so I could share it with you."
"Then why didn't you ever call me?"
Jace shrugged helplessly. "Too afraid you wouldn't want anything to do with me, I guess."
Amanda grabbed her jacket. The feelings were too raw, even after six years. If she stayed any longer, she would end up saying something she regretted. "I really need to get back to work."
"Clarissa wants me to take her to the amusement park down south," Jace continued, speaking quickly. "I'd like it if you and Logan could come with us. You said he was excited about the Alpha coming to his school, think about how excited he would be meeting me in person."
Was this because he was trying to put old demons to rest, or did he suspect Logan was his son? Not even Jace's parents had ever asked her about whether he was the father, although they often bumped into each other. But was it really right to keep them apart?
"I think he would love that," Amanda said. "How about Saturday? I have the weekend off and I'm not sure when I'll have another one."