by Emma Davies
Maddie nodded, wondering if Seth was going to say anything else. He seemed to have got stuck. She was about to ask what had inspired him to become a donor when he suddenly snapped the twig he was holding clean in half. Then he looked up at her.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I still find this really hard.’
‘Seth, honestly, you really don’t need to—’
‘My wife died,’ he said bluntly. ‘Six years ago. She died because she needed a bone marrow transplant and we couldn’t find one in time.’
He exhaled a long shaky breath, raising his eyes to hers and holding them there even though hers were already filling with tears. She couldn’t look away even though she wanted to.
Her hand found his, the slight movement causing a silent tear to spill over and run down her cheek.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said.
And suddenly it all made sense.
‘Jennifer and I had only been married eighteen months when she became ill. It all happened so fast, one minute she was fine and then in less than a year she was dead, and almost all of that year was filled with endless tests, horrible treatments, waiting, hoping and praying. None of it made any difference.’
‘So you decided to help Clara…’
‘I decided to help anyone I could. Anything to stop someone else having to go through the living hell we did. It was a way of coping with the grief, I know that, but the only sense I could find in any of it was to try and save someone else’s life. So like I said, I got lucky, because without it I don’t know how I would have coped at all.’
Still Maddie didn’t move. ‘And did it help?’ she whispered.
‘I was desperate to meet Clara, but they wouldn’t let me for two years. I understand why now of course, but at the time they were the longest two years of my life. It’s testament to the kind of person Clara is that she put up with me. I think I made things quite difficult for her.’
‘That’s not how she sees it, Seth. I think things were just as tough for her. You helped each other through what must have been a horrendous time for you both.’
Seth gave a wan smile. ‘We went through every emotion on the planet I think, but in the end we both came through it. We put each other through the mill while doing it, I might add, but now we’ve ended up in a place that suits us both.’
‘And is that why you’ve become a donor again; because you felt able to?’
‘Well of course I’d been contacted about a possible match, but essentially I think it was kind of a test,’ replied Seth, for the first time breaking eye contact with her and staring out across the garden. ‘For me, I mean. To see if I was ready.’
She studied his features, frowning, surreptitiously wiping her face free from tears. ‘I’m not sure I follow.’
‘I was nineteen when I met my wife, Maddie; in my middle year at uni. Jen and I studied together, partied together and before we knew it we were twenty-two, sharing a flat, and struggling to pay rent, find jobs, and feed ourselves. We were barely adults but that didn’t matter; we had each other and that was enough.’
He turned back to look at her, his eyes roaming her face for a few seconds. ‘And it probably would have been enough had her grandfather not died and left her this place. He and Agatha were the first of the family to fall in love with Joy’s Acre. I think they always intended to renovate it themselves, but shortly after her grandfather bought it he fell ill himself and so it remained as it was—’
‘Wait a minute,’ interrupted Maddie. ‘Does that mean that Agatha is related to you…?’ She searched his face. ‘Oh, now I get it! That’s why she has such an interest in this place…’
Seth nodded. ‘And one of the reasons why she dislikes me so much. You see when Jen’s grandfather left her this place it was on the stipulation that the farm be restored to its former glory, and Agatha made a promise to her husband that she would help that happen by supporting us financially. It was everything we could ever have wanted. We came to live here and as we learned of Joy and her incredible story, we began to build our dreams around it. We got married of course, but then shortly after Jen fell ill, and so at the age of twenty-six I became a widower and my life has effectively been on hold since then.’
‘But why does Agatha dislike you, I don’t understand…’
‘Because like history repeating itself we both made a promise to Jen on her deathbed that we would do everything we could to make our dreams for Joy’s Acre come true. But for me that’s proved to be easier said than done. I was felled by grief to start with and incapable of doing anything much beyond renovating the farmhouse, but then once I decided that I needed to become a bone marrow donor, almost unwittingly I made it even harder for myself to carry out my promises to Jen. I lost so much time caught up in Clara’s health issues and the subsequent problems it caused us both that Agatha despises me for it. She thinks I’ve betrayed Jen’s memory even if she does recognise the good that’s been done.’
Her hand was growing decidedly hot in his.
‘I see, so the test?’
‘Was to see if I felt the same emotions after donating that I did the last time. Whether I would become consumed by a desire to know the recipient, to see if I would need another person to act as a crutch to help assuage my grief or not… or whether I am now ready to move on and finally start making Joy’s Acre something we can all be proud of.’
‘And, what do you feel?’
‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘Beyond a relief that it all went okay and a pleasure in having acted selflessly for someone else’s benefit, I feel nothing. Or to be more precise, I felt something else, something I wasn’t expecting. I only realised what it was yesterday when I woke up to find you asleep next to me.’
‘Oh.’ The sound came out before she could stop it, before clear and conscious, rational thought could take over and provide her with something sensible to say. Before she could stop her heart from leaping upwards and her stomach dropping away in shock, and even before she identified the emotion chasing around her head as joy. In the seconds that followed, all these things became known to her, as did the overwhelming certainty of her place in the world.
Even in the bright sunshine, Seth’s eyes were dark as he searched her face for clues as to how she felt.
‘It’s been a long time since Jen died, Maddie, and nothing will ever take away how I feel about her. She’s a part of this place too, she always will be and, in the beginning, I wasn’t sure if I could ever bear that, to be constantly surrounded by her memory…’
‘But now?’
‘All I feel is acceptance; an understanding that where I am is the right place for me to be, and possibly the right place for you to be too…’ He was leaning in towards her…
Her mouth parted, just a tiny bit, as a loud shout rose up from the bottom of the garden. It was Clara waving madly, and running full pelt towards them.
‘You have to come with me,’ she panted as she neared them. ‘You won’t believe what we’ve just found!’
Chapter 20
As interruptions went it was about as poorly timed as it possibly could be, but as Maddie’s heart sank, she and Seth rose from the bench in one fluid movement.
‘Blimey, Clara, you’ll give a man a heart attack. What on earth’s the matter?’
‘You might have a heart attack yet,’ she said. ‘Don’t rule it out.’ She grinned at them, chest still heaving from her exertion and general excitement. ‘Come on!’
She pulled at Seth’s shirt and they had no choice but to follow at top speed as Clara led them back into the house and along the hallway. Maddie nearly tripped over Bonnie as the dogs, infected by the sudden change of mood, charged up and down the confined space. Eventually they came to rest back in the room they had begun to clear a couple of days ago.
Since that time, every box had been sorted, every cupboard and drawer emptied. They had salvaged a few things that would come in handy, mostly quirky household items which would provide interesting decoration, and importantly a few
papers which gave an added insight into the history of Joy’s Acre. But although Maddie had been poring over these for interesting snippets she could use for the website she was putting together, there had been nothing else which had caused heart rates to rise. Until now, it would seem.
Once things had been emptied and either stored or thrown away, Trixie had ferried her endless boxes of books into the room. The huge dresser would house some of them, and the others in time would fill bookshelves that had yet to be installed. The room itself was looking far more appealing than it had in the past and there were plans to turn it into a second sitting room. As such, both Clara and Trixie had been wielding polish, cloths and various other cleaning implements to give the room a thorough spring clean, and as Seth and Maddie burst into the room it was still in a certain amount of disarray.
‘We pulled the dresser out from the wall to dust and hoover behind it, and look…’ Clara held out her hands towards Trixie, who was holding a small rectangular object.
‘Careful,’ she warned. ‘I’ve dusted it off a bit, but hold it by the edges for now so that it doesn’t mark.’
Clara did as she was asked, passing it over to Seth as if it was made of the most fragile porcelain.
‘What do you think?’ she asked. ‘Is it one of hers?’ She looked practically fit to burst.
Seth’s head shot up. ‘Where was this?’ he asked.
‘Wedged down the back of the dresser,’ replied Trixie. ‘I think it must have fallen behind the shelves in the bottom section. When we moved it, I think it slid out where the back board had become bowed. We had to tip the dresser forward quite a bit to fish it out.’
Seth nodded, looking first at Maddie, then at Clara, and finally at Trixie before dropping his gaze back down to the picture he held in his hands.
‘I don’t believe this,’ he said. ‘It’s been here all the time.’
‘It is hers, isn’t it?’ said Clara. ‘I knew it was.’ She was practically jumping up and down in excitement. Seth just looked shell shocked.
Maddie stepped forward and Seth wordlessly handed her the picture. Even in its dusty state the vibrant colours were instantly recognisable, as was the subject matter.
‘Oh my God,’ she intoned. ‘It is, it’s one of Joy’s!’ She stared at the picture a moment longer, heart pounding, before handing it back.
‘Light,’ said Seth suddenly. ‘We need more light.’
He shooed the dogs out the way and marched back down the hallway to the kitchen, where the sun was painting the walls with gold. He laid the picture down carefully on the table and stood back to look at it.
It was slightly bigger than the one which hung in the hallway, painted from the other side of the garden looking back towards the house. The greenhouse, resplendent in bright sunshine, was filled with all manner of fruit and vegetables and to the other side sat the thatched cottage, tall stems of hollyhocks waving from the side of the path to the front door.
‘What do we do?’ asked Maddie.
Seth looked at her, but it took a moment before her words registered. ‘Clean it up a bit, I suppose, but—’
‘No, I meant, shouldn’t we tell someone? When I found the auction catalogue that time it mentioned that she was considered an important artist of her generation, not least of all because her work is so scarce. I know it’s not a van Gogh, but aren’t we supposed to say we’ve found it or something?’
‘I don’t see why.’ Seth frowned. ‘What business is it of anybody else’s?’ He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘The only reason we’d need to do that was if we were thinking about selling it, which we’re not.’
Clara gave an audible tut. ‘Before you go getting on your high horse, Seth, no one’s suggesting that we sell it, but Maddie’s right. We should at least get it checked out to make sure Joy painted it, that way at least we know what we’re dealing with.’
‘And then we sell it?’
‘No!’ Clara said. ‘Stop putting words in our mouths. I’m as excited about this as you are, but the more practical part of my brain is also thinking about insurance and the like.’
Seth inhaled slowly. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘Yes, of course, you’re both absolutely right. I can’t afford any insurance of course, but that’s probably beside the point. Perhaps we should give the guy at the auctioneers a ring in the first instance and see what he says.’
‘I’ll go and get the catalogue from the last sale,’ said Maddie. ‘I think the chap’s number was inside.’
She hurried from the room, thinking fast. An idea had just come at her out of nowhere but she would need some time to think about it first. There was no way she could mention it just yet.
When she returned, the three were exactly as she had left them, although Trixie looked up as she entered and caught her eye with a rueful grin.
‘I probably shouldn’t say this but I’m gonna anyway… I’m just playing that devil’s whatnot, what do you call it?’
‘Advocate?’ suggested Maddie.
‘That’s it! Devil’s advocate, because I know I’ve only just got here and everything so I don’t really know what’s going on, but you guys are seriously strapped for cash, and we’ve just found a painting which you’re all making sound like it’s worth a fortune… So why aren’t you going to sell it? It’s pretty, but I’m not sure it’s worth making a massive fuss over.’
Maddie grimaced. It was a valid comment, and there was a good deal of truth in what she said, but somehow she didn’t think Seth was going to see it that way.
‘Don’t shoot the messenger…’ sang Clara under her breath.
A few poignant seconds passed before Seth opened his mouth to speak. Neither Maddie nor Clara dared to answer on his behalf.
‘I should shoot you on the spot for treason,’ said Seth, his face sliding into a grin, ‘but fortunately for you I’ve taken my sidearm in for servicing. What you suggest is, of course, what every sane person would do in our position, but what on earth gave you the idea that we were sane, in any way, shape, or form?’
‘Hmm, I’m beginning to see that…’ muttered Trixie. ‘But listen, you’re talking to a woman with bright pink hair – conforming to how everyone else thinks I should behave isn’t exactly top of my list. I’m quite happy to be added to the insane list.’
‘Consider yourself added in that case, the only rule being that you never, ever mention selling this painting again. We should probably tell you why though, I guess that’s only fair.’
Maddie handed Trixie the story of Joy’s Acre that she had brought from the other room.
‘A little bit of bedtime reading,’ she said. ‘Make sure you’ve got a tissue to hand though, it’s heart-wrenching in places.’
Then she handed the auction catalogue she had also brought to Seth, and turned over the front cover for him.
He paused, looking at the page in front of him where the auctioneers’ contact details were listed.
‘I should go and do this now, shouldn’t I?’ he asked.
‘Yes,’ chorused both Clara and Maddie together.
‘Otherwise we all know that you’ll put off every opportunity to do it for the next millennium,’ added Maddie. ‘Strike while the iron’s hot and let’s find out whether Joy really has left us another gift.’
Seth’s eyes stayed on hers for quite some time before he dropped his gaze; at least it felt that way to Maddie, who had suddenly become hyperaware of everything that Seth said or did. She was, as Clara suggested, completely under the influence of his gravitational pull.
How on earth was she ever going to broach her idea with Seth? She wasn’t entirely sure what there was between them yet, or even that she had read the signs right, but whatever their relationship was, this ran the risk of blowing it wide apart. So wide that they might never recover from it. The trouble was that Joy’s Acre probably wouldn’t exist much longer without this intervention. With her project manager’s head on, she knew, perhaps more than any of them, what they were up against here. Th
ey might make it, but common sense told her there was a good chance they wouldn’t. She looked across at Clara who was busy studying the painting again; she was probably the only one who would understand, but whether Maddie would have the nerve to talk to her about it, now that was another matter.
She could see Seth through the kitchen window, pacing up and down in the yard with his mobile to his ear. A few weeks ago, this would have been an impossibility but the arrival of broadband had been a definite step in the right direction. Wi-Fi calling was another benefit they were all getting pleasantly used to, but that, like everything, came at a price. She took a step to one side as Clara came to stand beside her.
‘What do you think?’ she said. ‘Right decision?’
‘As opposed to?’
‘I don’t know,’ sighed Clara. ‘Burying our heads in the sand?’
‘Seth would call it loyalty and commitment,’ she commented, keeping her eyes on the yard. ‘But I think you’re right. It’s not being disloyal and it might never come to it, but I think if we ever had to sell the painting, I’d like to know where we stand. All we’re doing is checking our facts.’
‘I think Seth understands that. I know he can seem a bit blinkered at times, but once he’s had an opportunity to think things through he usually makes pretty sound judgements.’ She elbowed Maddie very gently in the ribs. ‘You seemed very close out in the garden,’ she said.
‘Did we?’
‘Hmm, you did…’ She was grinning now, Maddie could hear it in her voice. ‘And I thought you were supposed to be helping Tom.’
‘We were!’ Maddie protested, although she knew there was little point in trying to pull the wool over Clara’s eyes. ‘It took me a little while to learn how, but once I’d got the knack, we made no end of spars.’
‘Well there wasn’t much that Seth was doing except for making eyes at you…’
Maddie batted her arm. ‘Oh give over,’ she said. ‘You’re just imagining things.’
A voice spoke from behind them. ‘I’m probably not supposed to say this either, but this is far more exciting than some bloody picture. Are you and Seth—’