by Amy Muscat
I feel his hand rub my back. Up and down… up and down, and the motion makes me relax too.
“Lottie, Melody is narcoleptic.”
“NARCO- WHAT NOW?”
“She suffers from narcolepsy. She’s prone to fall asleep many times throughout the day. When someone with narcolepsy goes through strong emotions like happiness or sadness, they fall asleep at the drop of a hat.”
“Shut the fuck up… but, she never fell asleep before when I've seen here, and she's been excited about something or another.”
“Yeah but, maybe she wasn’t too excited about it. Have you ever noticed how Mel has bags under her eyes? Or that she tends to take deep breaths a lot?”
“…Yeah.”
“Well, she sort of taught herself from a young age that when she starts to get really excited, to take deep breaths and calm down. Now it doesn’t always work, and she sometime forgets– like she must have done today when my mom told her about Tillie.”
“Oh, my God,” I breath. “That’s so weird. Not her having narcolepsy, but the fact that I've never noticed or paid attention to it. Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I ask him, hurt that he didn’t trust me with knowing it. Another thing to go on the list of our trust issues…
“I'm sorry. It just wasn’t my secret to tell you. I talked to Mel about her telling you, and she said she would. She just gets embarrassed about it, that’s all.”
“Why does she get embarrassed? It’s not her fault,” I huff.
“Because once people find out, they tend to want to wrap her up in bubble-wrap, and she hates that; like my mom and Dad for instance. People look at her differently. She doesn’t have a great deal of friends; she doesn’t really go out much… I mean shit; she has her own driver just in case something happens to her. Which reminds me, where is Peter?”
“Who?” My head is spinning all over the gaff at the moment.
“Peter? Her driver? Was he not waiting outside for her or anything?”
“No…” I trail off, trying to think if I saw anybody waiting outside Greenwich Project.
“Fucks sake,” Blake mutters.
Just then a doctor walks into the waiting area and calls out, “Walker? Anyone here for Melody Walker?”
Blake jumps up, me still wrapped around him, and walks over to the doctor who looks at us in mild amusement. “I'm Blake Walker, her brother, is she okay?” I try to get down, but Blake tightens his hold on my thighs in warning.
“Yes, she's fine. Just a little bump from her fall, and she's feeling slightly embarrassed. She had just woken up when we found out she has narcolepsy– which was great because we were about to give her all sorts of scans. We still did one on her head, just to make sure she was okay but other than that; she's fine and can go home now. A nurse is just bringing her through now.” The doctor tells us.
“Thank God.” Blake and I echo each other.
The doctor once again smiles and hands Blake a form to fill out.
“Thanks, Doc,” Blake says shaking his hand before he walks off. Blake turns to face me and says, “I’ve just gotta fill these forms out, and then I'll be back okay?”
“Okay.”
“You're not going to leave are you?” He asks, sounding and looking frightened.
“No…” I say quietly. “No, I'm not; I think we should have a talk, don’t you?” Even though I had just suggested it, I was apprehensive about said talk. I was still fucking angry about what had happened between us, but I was also hurt deeply. Hurt that I've carried around with me for weeks now. But I think it was time to talk about this like adults and resolve it once and for all. And if by the end of it, I find out that he did sleep with her, then I’ll know that it’s over between us. For good.
“Yeah, Angel, I think we should.” He says, letting me down and walking in the direction of the receptionist’s desk.
A couple of minutes later, a door to my left opens, and I see a red-faced Melody walk through.
“Mel!” I shout rushing over to her and grabbing her up into a big hug. “Oh God, Mel, I was so worried about you. Don’t ever do something like that to me again,” I say sternly.
She starts giggling. “I'm sorry, it’s not something that I can really help. I assume you know?” She asks looking down.
“Hey,” I say lifting her head back up and making her look at me. “Don’t ever, ever feel embarrassed about anything. Do you hear me? You are a beautiful, smart, strong woman who is just unlucky to have something that could make you sleep at a drop of a hat. But you know what I say, Mel?”
“What?” She whispers.
“I say that just because you have narcolepsy, it doesn’t mean it defines you. I would embrace it, and fuck what everybody else thinks… Is this the thing that you want to tell your football player, but too scared to?”
“Yeah…”
“Sweetie… don’t ever feel like that, and if the bloke can’t handle you having narcolepsy; then fuck him.” I tell her passionately.
She starts giggling. “I'm so glad you're fine with my condition, I was worried you would think I'm some weirdo or something.”
“Pfft. Girl, don’t be silly; I can be a weirdo too,” I say grinning at her. “It’s fine, and if anyone has a problem with it, tell ’erm to come see me.”
She opens her mouth but freezes when she hears Blake call out her name.
“Mel!”
I look around her and see Blake jogging over to us.
“You called my brother?” She hisses.
“What? You fucking fainted on me; I thought you were dying or something, of course I had to ring your brother. It’s not like I have anyone else’s number in your family.” I hissed back.
I watch as she mouths ‘sorry’ before turning to her big brother.
“Hey Blake,” she mutters.
He grabs her up in a hug only a brother can give you. He presses a kiss to her head, before pulling back. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I'm fine. My head hurts a little from the fall, but overall; I'm all good.”
“Thank fuck,” Blake breathes, looking relieved.
Melody smiles gently at her brothers worry. She raises her hand and places it on his cheek and says, “Blake, seriously, I'm fine.”
Blake steps back, nodding his head, but then he stops abruptly. “Where the fuck was Peter? Why wasn’t he sitting outside waiting for you?” He growls, the muscles in his arms contracting, and his chest puffing out.
“Blake…” Melody groans but answers his question when he looks at her sternly. “I told him to go and get lunch.”
“Mel…” Blake moans.
“Don’t start, Blake,” he held his hands up with an ‘okay, fine’ expression. “He was hungry and I told him to go and get something to eat. The poor man, he’s probably worried sick. Crap, where’s my purse? Do you have it, Lottie?” She asks spinning around to face me.
“Yeah, but your phone hasn’t rung or anything.”
She starts fishing around in her bag, and when she pulls her phone out, I look at the screen and see thirty-two missed calls. Huh? I didn’t hear it ringing…
“Damnit, it was on silent. I'll call him back when we get to the car. Shit!”
“What?” Blake and I say simultaneously.
“Mom and Dad! Do they know I'm here?” She asks frantically.
“No. I got a call from mom saying about Tillie and that they were already in the hospital, and then I left my cell in my apartment because I was rushing to get to the hospital. And when I realized that, I went back and found a voicemail from Lottie telling me you were at the hospital, too.” He blows out a heavy breath. “Fuck! Today has not been a good today… not at all. So come on and get your shit because I'm gonna take you to the hospital. Then I'm gonna take Lottie back to her place where we are going to sit and talk about stuff.” He says looking at me determinedly.
Fuck me. That look… that look could just about melt my knickers off of me.
I gulped. “… Maybe we could do that ano
ther day? I mean your sister-in-law is having a baby; shouldn’t you be there for that?”
“How about this?” Melody interrupts. We both look at her, waiting for what she had to say. “How about, when you get to the hospital, we go and find out how many centimetres dilated Tillie is, and if it’s not over seven you two can go and have your chat. And when she does hit seven, I'll call you? What about that?”
“Why seven?” Blake asks, curious.
“Because apparently, once you hit seven centimetres, the last three speed up and you more or less go into really active labor within an hour or so.”
“How’d you even know this shit?” Blake asks his sister, baffled.
“I researched it. Der,” she replies smugly.
Blake looks over to me, silently asking me if I wanted to do what Melody had suggested, and with a hesitant nod, I tell him, “Okay. Okay, that sounds good to me.”
Why did I have the sudden feeling that those words were going to bite me in the arse?
TILLIE WAS THREE centimetres.
Fucking, Goddamnit! I really didn’t want to have this conversation right now.
We had just arrived at my flat, after dropping Melody off. I must say, it was sort of funny when both her parents and even Tillie had shouted at Melody. They had said how she should never have let Peter go off for lunch. Speaking of Peter, when we had gotten into the car, Mel had called him and explained everything. He sounded distraught. But Melody had reassured him that she was fine and that Blake was taking her to the hospital to see Tillie and for him to go home. Blake shook his head but didn’t say anything. Neither did I, I had just sat in the back seat with Melody quietly, not saying anything.
My mind had been running a thousand miles a second, still was, and I was just trying to gear myself up for the inevitable exchange of words that was soon to happen.
I wasn’t looking forward to it. At all…
“Would you like a drink?” I ask Blake as I throw my keys on the coffee table in my living room and kick off my boots as I make my way to the kitchen. Personally, I would prefer a glass of wine for this talk, but I knew if I had alcohol in my system; things would not turn out well.
“Coffee, please,” Blake says from behind me.
I nod and turn the kettle on, pulling the cups down from the cupboard, and putting all the correct stuff into them.
“Lottie.” Blake murmurs from behind me, but I ignore him. “Lottie. Angel, please look at me,” he pleads.
His begging voice starts the waterworks, and I bend over the kitchen island sobbing into my palms.
I feel him walk up from behind me and spin me around until I'm pressed into his hard chest.
“It hurts, Blake. It hurts so bad.” I say weakly.
But Blake understands me. “I know, Angel, I know. I'm so sorry.”
Taking a shuddering breath, I grip onto his shirt and look up at him. “Did you sleep with her? Do you remember if you had slept with her, yet?” Please say no. Please say that you remembered and that you didn’t. Please.
“Baby…” His voice breaks, and I feel it when my fragile heart breaks once more. I don’t know if I can handle this pain anymore. I've walked around for the past couple of weeks with a smile and putting a brave face on for my friends and family, but I don’t know if I can do it anymore.
“Nooo…” I moan painfully.
“Lottie, look at me.” I didn’t. “Please look at me, Beauty, please?”
I did, and when my eyes connect to his face, I gasp. There were tears rolling down his heartbroken face.
Oh, Blake.
I reach up and wipe away some of his tears. I know I shouldn’t. He had hurt me, he had possibly cheated on me; but I just couldn’t see Blake– my big, strong, alpha male man– cry. It was a horrible thing to see a man cry because they’re normally the strong ones, but to see the man you love cry? Well… it just about shattered me.
“I didn’t sleep with her,” he states, shocking the ever-loving fuck out of me. I really thought he was going to say he had.
“What?” I croak in disbelieve.
“I didn’t sleep with her, Angel.” He promised. I could see the sincerity in his eyes and I felt my hope sore like a free bird.
“You're sure?”
“Yes. I heard her talking on the phone. She was talking to one of her friends, saying how she had tricked the both of us into believing her. She had been gloating about the texts she had sent you. She said how she had taken me home, hoping to have sex with me, but even in my drunken stupor; I didn’t want to touch her. I heard her say how that had pissed her off, so she decided to fuck everything up for us and send you those texts. Lucy knows that when I get paralytic drunk, I don’t really remember anything and she took advantage of that. But I'm just so sorry that I even put myself in the position for her to do that.”
Oh, my God. That fucking good-for-nothing whore! I was going to kill her!
I could literally feel the weight of the world falling from my shoulders.
I could feel my heart slowly fixing itself back together again.
I could feel my whole body becoming un-numb.
I felt the biggest smile form on my face, and I jump into his arms.
Blake grabbed a hold of my thighs and spins me around in circles. His face was buried in my neck and he was inhaling deep breaths. Just like I was.
“God, I've missed you,” he confesses.
I hear the emotion in his tone and say the same thing back to him. I lift my head and look up to him. “I've missed you so much.”
“I missed you more.” Impossible, I think, but don’t say. “Lottie… I just. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for how I treated you, and for how I spoke to you back in London. That was a disgusting thing for me to have said, and I shouldn’t have; you're not a cheating whore, I know that. I think when I saw you in that hotel room with that man, I just lost it,” he says exhaling heavily. “I'm so sorry. I jumped the bandwagon and shouldn’t have. It just took me back to Lucy and what she had did, and… and I just lost it. He was your cousin, right?”
I nod my head, and Blake puts me down on the kitchen counter. I keep my legs locked around him but take my arms away as I wipe my face of the tears still rolling down it.
“Yeah, he is. Calum, that’s his name, and don’t worry; he understands and doesn’t hold a grudge against you. So when you see him next month, you can apologise to him personally.”
Blake grunts in front of me, pulling a face. I laugh, what is it with men and their male egos and not wanting to say that they’re sorry to another?
“You will, Blake, because as much as he forgives you for hitting him; he doesn’t forgive the way you spoke to me.” Calum had been seriously pissed when he had heard what Blake had called me. But I had managed to calm him down. I think because of my comatose state, he had relented more over the fact that I had asked him too. I don’t think he wanted to the rock the boat so to say. But still… he was pissed.
“Fine… wait. You still want to be with me? Even after the way I spoke to you?” He looks dumbfounded. I've never seen him look like this, and I have to say, it’s a cute look on him.
“Yes. Well, that is if you still want to–” I didn’t get to finish my sentence because Blake bends down and smashes his lips to mine, shutting me up.
“BLAKE,” I SHOUT out in a high-pitched voice as he more or less throws me down onto my bed. I bounce up and down until I'm still, but I end up giggling like a little girl. But who gave a fuck?
He bends down, pulls my socks off first, and then he unbuttons my jeans. He slowly pulls the zipper down, and with it being so quiet; I can hear their teeth separating. When he finally gets the tight-arse jeans free, he pulls my top over my head, and I laying there with a navy blue bra and knickers set. They’re lacy, and skimpy, and must look totally hot on because I watch as Blake's trousers become tented, and I hear it as he takes in a sharp inhale.
Mmm…
It’s my turn. I sit up so we’re both on our
knees and grip the shirt he still has on, and yank him to me. Our lips meet and they clash with our ferocious kissing. I nip at his bottom lip before he sucks mine into his mouth. I can taste him on my tongue and it’s another thing I've missed about him greatly. He tastes of mint and chocolate, such a weird combination, but I loved it. I loved his smell, taste, touch, his body, and his heart… I just loved him.
“I love you,” I breathe as I pull my lips away from his. I needed to tell him. He needed to hear those words, and I desperately needed to tell him. I had left it far too long, and I thought now was the best time to tell him.
I watch as shock, happiness, and then something soft washes over his face. Love…
“I love you, too. I love you so much,” he says and wipes one last tear that drips from my eye before bending his head and placing a kiss onto each of my eyelids. He then moves down my nose where he kisses the tip, over to my cheeks, moving over to the left corner of my mouth where he places the softest kiss he’s ever given me before. After that he starts working his way down my body; my neck, where he peppers kisses, my heaving chest, over my right breast before moving back up and pressing a kiss over my heart. “This is mine, and mine is yours, Angel,” he murmurs and lift my hand up so my hand is stroking over his heart.
I feel his raised skin from under his shirt, and ask him what it is.
“Don’t freak out.” Yeah, okay, like saying don’t freak out isn’t going to freak a girl out!
But I sit silently as I watch him slowly start unbuttoning his shirt, and then he pulls apart the material, and I feel my breathing stop altogether.
Right there above where his heart is, is a tattoo of a pair of angel wings with the letter ‘L’ written between each wing in a beautiful font. The wings were absolutely stunning, done so intricately that it must have taken the artist hours to draw.
Speechless, all I could say was, “Blake.”
“Do you like it?” I could practically feel the apprehension rolling off of him.