by Lyn Denison
So when Jess dropped in the next day to return the towel Meggie had left behind after Caleb’s party, Kat was inordinately pleased to see her. Kat knew she shouldn’t be, but somehow Jess’s appearance always lightened her mood. Her heightened awareness of Jess seemed to brighten, to clarify the world around her.
“Come and have a look at the walk-in robe,” Kat said, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice.
Kat had walked into her bedroom before she realized the intimacy of the situation. Before, the room had been bare. Although she’d only put on the first coat of paint on the walls, the room now held her new queen-sized bed and a pair of bedside tables. She glanced at Jess.
Jess was looking around, her gaze pausing on Kat, and Kat saw the movements in her throat as she swallowed before glancing quickly away. Kat’s nerve endings went immediately to full alert. She turned and crossed to the walk-in robe. She knew Jess followed her because she could all but feel her there, so close behind her.
“It’s starting to look like your place now,” Jess said evenly as Kat slowly turned in the close confines of the wardrobe.
“I took your advice about the modular units,” she said hastily, her voice sounding forcedly bright. “The guy down at All-Systems was really helpful.”
“Was it Jeff?”
Kat nodded.
“The best thing is he’s practical.”
“He was, too.” Kat indicated the right wall of the robe. “I just have this section to finish. There’s plenty of hanging space, and I got an extra set of drawers.”
“Did you have any trouble putting it together?” Jess asked and Kat laughed softly.
“Well, a few questionable words floated out into the ether. But it was fairly straightforward. Eventually.”
They stood in the ever shrinking wardrobe, and Kat felt her physical reaction to Jess’s nearness escalate to dangerous proportions. The closet had seemed so spacious until Kat had to share it with Jess. Kat swallowed as her mouth went dry. Her body was so aware of Jess, and long dormant shivers of desire played around in the pit of her stomach.
Kat knew she had to difuse the situation, and she hoped Jess didn’t feel the growing tension swirling about them. She had to get them out into the open where Kat could move away from the pull of Jess’s attraction. But she didn’t seem to have control of her muscles. They refused to take direction. So she stayed where she was, drinking in every nuance of Jess’s movements, her body, the tilt of her head, the profile of her face, her forehead, her small upturned nose, her strong chin, the way her fair hair curled around her ear and the creamy curve of her neck that invited a long, slow, nibbling kiss. There was a small freckle on the narrow expanse of skin showing where the open collar of her shirt folded back.
Jess’s hand reached out and ran lovingly along the white melamine of the chest of drawers. How Kat wished that small tapering hand was moving over her skin in just the same way. She looked up to meet Jess’s inquiring gaze and blushed with embarrassment. What had Jess said? Kat coughed. “I’m sorry.”
Jess smiled, her beautiful mouth curving upwards, unknowingly torturing Kat. “I just said you’ve done a great job putting all this together. Sometimes the modular units can be tricky.”
“Okay, so it was a bit of a challenge at times,” Kat admitted. “I kept telling myself I was quite capable of following a list of instructions, to just remain calm and logical. Eventually everything seemed to fall into place.” Kat also ran her hand over the surface of the dividing partition. When she looked back Jess was regarding her, her expression unreadable. Kat met her gaze and couldn’t look away. She was drowning in Jess’s clear blue eyes.
An eon passed as they stood looking at each other, unable to break the heightened connection. The tension in the confined space grew until Kat thought she could feel her body being bombarded by the charged particles. She wanted to escape, but she remained transfixed.
Then Jess’s small white teeth bit down on her lower lip and Kat’s gaze slid to settle there. She could see the fine white line delineating their shape, and she wanted to trace that line with her tongue tip. She bit back a low moan.
Time was immeasurable. A second or an hour passed. Kat felt disoriented and shaky, her legs weak, and she let her backside rest against the chest of drawers to steady herself. Suddenly heat surged through Kat’s body and her eyes widened in surprise. She looked down in disbelief to see that Jess’s hand covered hers. Kat knew she had to be dreaming, a wonderful, sensational, mind-blowing dream. Her gaze rose to meet Jess’s again.
Jess’s eyes had darkened to inky blue and her lips quivered imperceptibly. Kat felt herself leaning forward—or perhaps it was Jess. Then their lips met.
Desire tumultuously rose to thunder inside Kat. She tasted, nuzzled Jess’s mouth, drew back, touched, tasted again. Soft, she thought, so soft. So tantalizingly soft.
Kat’s arm slid around Jess’s waist, drawing her closer. She turned slightly, rested back against the chest of drawers, settling Jess against her body, molding her to her contours. Kat’s hands cupped Jess’s buttocks, drew her closer and Jess made a low throaty sound. Kat’s tongue tip slipped between Jess’s lips and their bodies strained together. Kat felt every nuance of Jess’s movements, the thrust of her breasts, the way her pelvis moved, the so loud, so sensual sound of her gabardine-clad thighs as they rasped against Kat’s.
Somehow Kat had pulled Jess’s shirt from the belted waist of her tailored shorts. She shakily unbuttoned Jess’s shirt and moaned softly as she slid her hands over the smooth bare skin of Jess’s midriff. She moved her hands slowly upwards to cup her lace-clad breasts.
Jess made an incitingly low and so-inviting sound. Kat felt her breath on the curve of her neck as Jess’s body seemed to collapse against Kat’s. Jess moaned again and the sybaritic sound sent clamors of wild desire from the pit of Kat’s stomach to her centre.
She moved her hips against Jess’s, her fingertips finding, teasing Jess’s nipples. Jess’s head went back, exposing the curve of her throat, and Kat slid her mouth over the smooth skin, nuzzling the soft spot where her pulse beat an erratic tattoo. And it was so much more headily intoxicating than she could have imagined.
Jess’s hands clutched at Kat’s head as she whispered Kat’s name in a low husky tone that sent Kat’s lips searing downwards to cover one hardened nipple with her mouth.
“Oh, Kat,” Jess repeated as she strained against Kat. Her hands were unsteady as she fumbled for the bottom of Kat’s T-shirt, lifting it up. She groaned again when she discovered Kat wasn’t wearing a bra. Jess drew back, gazing down at Kat’s breasts, her lashes dark curves against her cheek. “Kat,” she breathed again as her fingers circled, teased Kat’s nipples. Then she slowly lowered her head and put her lips to one rosy peak and then the other, sucking, flicking Kat’s nipples with her tongue tip, exquisitely torturing.
Kat knew she was soaring, hovering on the brink of completely losing control. Her shaky knees demanded she sit, and the edge of the chest of drawers bit into her buttocks. She drew back, cupped Jess’s beautiful face in her hands. Jess’s fingertips replaced her lips, continuing to tease Kat’s breasts, and Kat’s back arched as her nipples thrust upwards, clamoring for the renewed feel of Jess’s mouth.
“Jess! I have to—I need to—” She moved Jess through the closet door into the bedroom, and they both looked at the large, inviting bed.
Kat’s body was way ahead of her, screaming for the comfort of the bed, for the feel of Jess’s naked body against her. She kissed Jess again, gently, softly, a tentative appeal, and Jess kissed her back. Their kiss deepened and desire enveloped them again. Kat’s kiss was a question and Jess’s kiss the answer Kat needed. They began to move towards the bed.
“Yoo-hoo!” came a voice from the front of the house.
Kat and Jess stilled, bodies pressed together, lips on lips.
“Kat? Jess? Are you there?”
They sprang apart, and Kat looked down at Jess. Her shirt was un
buttoned and gaping out of the waistband of her shorts, baring her lace-covered breasts. Kat’s T-shirt was bunched up under her arms, her breasts bare and still aroused. Jess’s hands rested on Kat’s hips as her face suffused with color.
“Kat!” she breathed, her eyes seeking an escape. “It’s Grace.” She hurriedly tucked her shirt back into her shorts, but her hands were shaking so much Kat had to help her with the buttons. Jess looked at Kat’s still bare breasts and her expression mirrored Kat’s own still-surging desire.
Hurriedly Kat pulled down her shirt and settled it over her hips before running her fingers through her tousled hair. Her breasts were tingling and proud, and she pulled at the front of her shirt so it didn’t cling so closely. She swallowed. “It’s okay,” she said softly, running a fingertip down Jess’s flushed cheek before she took a deep breath and strode to the bedroom doorway.
Grace Worrall stood at the open front door, a tea towel covered plate in her hand.
“Oh. Grace. How are you?” Kat’s voice was almost steady. “Come on in.”
Grace stepped inside and Kat shot a quick look behind her. Jess was still straightening her clothes and didn’t meet Kat’s gaze.
With her legs still shaking, Kat walked into the living room, feeling Jess moving behind her.
“Hello, Grace,” Jess said, her voice raspy, and she coughed. She moved into the kitchen and made a show of examining the fit of the cupboard doors.
“I was just showing Jess the new units I’ve put in the wardrobe,” Kat said quickly. She felt herself grow hot again as her mind flashed up replays of Jess in the wardrobe, the feel of her, the throaty sounds, the thrill of her touch.
“I’ll have to have a look myself before I go,” Grace said and turned to Jess. “Kat’s doing wonders with the house, isn’t she?”
“Yes, she is,” Jess agreed, sliding some drawers in and out, diligently checking their movement.
“With your help of course,” Grace added. “I’ve just made some fresh pikelets and I thought it should be time for you to break for afternoon tea.”
“Oh,” Kat glanced at her wristwatch. “So it is. I didn’t realize how late it was. I’ll put on the kettle.” Kat joined Jess in the kitchen, put water in the jug and set it to boil. Jess moved into the living room with Grace. Kat took a steadying breath as she set out the mugs. “Tea or coffee?” she asked, turning back to the other two.
“Tea, thanks, dear,” said Grace.
“Oh, I—” Jess looked at her own watch. “I’ll have to skip the tea unfortunately. I still have a couple of calls to make I’m afraid.” She shrugged ruefully and managed to smile.
“Well, here. Take a couple of pikelets with you to eat on the way.” Grace uncovered the plate, removed the plastic lid and held it out to Jess. “Strawberry or apricot jam?”
“Oh, thanks, Grace.” Jess took a pikelet with jam and a dollop of cream and bit into the mini pancake.
Kat watched Jess’s lips settle around the pikelet and her knees almost gave way beneath her again as the desire that had barely ebbed rose inside her again.
“Delicious,” Jess said as she moved towards the door. “Thanks again, Grace. You’ve done a great job in there, Kat.” Jess coughed and more color rose in her cheeks. “I’ll see you both. Enjoy your tea.” And she was gone.
Kat couldn’t have said what she did with the rest of the afternoon. Oblivious, Grace stayed for a cup of tea, and Kat knew she must have talked to her visitor but she’d have been hard-pressed to recall what they talked about.
And later, alone, she wandered about the house wanting to phone Jess, preparing any number of scenarios in her mind. But she didn’t do it. She couldn’t decide what she’d say to her.
At the birthday party the day before, sitting beside the pool with a bikini-clad Jess, Kat had ached for her. And after those moments alone with Jess she ached for her so much more. Yesterday she’d thought she’d hidden her secret longings behind the protective façade of her sunglasses.
All afternoon at Caleb’s birthday party she’d been totally aware of every facet of Jess’s body, tuned to her every move, her body achingly aware each time Jess touched her arm or simply smiled at her. Kat knew she’d been in a bad way, and she’d given herself stern lectures as she drove home after dropping Meggie back at her grandparents’ house.
“Isn’t Jess the greatest?” had been Meggie’s parting remark.
If Meggie only knew.
Now, after those exquisite moments in Kat’s walk-in wardrobe, all Kat’s hungry yearning almost engulfed her. She knew she’d never felt quite this way before. Not even with Ruth.
Yesterday she’d known how she felt about Jess, how attracted she was to her. When Jess had touched Kat’s hand Kat’s senses had gone crazy, taking her breath away. She’d felt herself burn with wanting. And yet it had been so innocent.
They’d been reclining beside each other on loungers by the pool, relatively alone. Mark and Lucas were supervising an energetic game of cricket on the lawn nearby. The children’s excited voices, Mark’s encouragement of the bowlers, the barking of an ecstatic dog filled the air.
“Aren’t you glad you came?” Jess had asked with a grin. “Not exactly quiet and serene, is it?”
Kat laughed. “I can hardly hear them.” What if she told Jess everything—the sunshine on the water, the neatly trimmed lawns, the voices of the children faded into insignificance when Kat sat watching Jess stretched out so close and yet so far away from her. Jess’s bikini was quite modest for the fashion of the day, but Kat knew she could drown in the smooth expanse of Jess’s bare skin. Her wonderful breasts with their enticing cleavage, her bare midriff, her long, tanned legs. “Besides,” she added quickly, “the sounds of happy children having fun is so much better than the sounds of unhappy, disinterested and bored kids.”
“True.” Jess raised her sunglasses and looked across at Kat. “I meant to tell you I like your board shorts. Shades of purple. My favorite color.”
“Thanks.” Kat was wearing beach shorts over her swimsuit. “My swimmers are so old I’ve been expecting them to split if I move suddenly, so, in case of accident they’ll at least cover my embarrassment.”
Jess laughed softly and let her sunglasses slide back on her nose, disguising her expression. “I’ve enjoyed this afternoon and your company,” she said softly, the husky tone of her voice sending shivers of delight through Kat.
“Me, too. You’ve got a lovely place here.”
“Thanks. We’ve plans approved for turning the loft over the garage into a self-contained apartment, and I’d thought of moving in there. However, it’s working well for the kids with all of us in the main house. Unconventional I know, but it works for us, so we’ve sort of shelved the plans for a while.”
A cricket ball landed between their chairs, and they both reached down for it at the same time. Kat had hold of the ball and Jess’s hand folded around Kat’s. They sat like that for long moments, watching each other behind the anonymity of their sunglasses. Then Jess slowly released Kat’s hand, and Kat sat up to throw the ball back to Lucas.
Kat was hot, burning at Jess’s touch, and it was some time before either of them spoke and before Kat’s heartbeats slowed to anywhere near normal.
Was it any wonder the next day Kat had been so aroused in the confined space of the wardrobe with Jess so close. And she was under no illusions about what would have happened if Grace hadn’t appeared.
When night fell Kat put off going to bed because she knew she wouldn’t sleep. She was too tense, too totally aware. The feel of Jess—her lips, the thrust of her hips—was too real now, not simply a wishful fantasy anymore.
Eventually she drifted off to sleep but woke unrefreshed. By lunchtime, when she’d spent hours starting one project and then going on to another, not finishing any of them, she’d even resorted to phoning Em. When she got Em’s answering machine she belatedly remembered Em was away, and she didn’t know if she was disappointed or relieved that she coul
dn’t unburden herself to her friend.
In the afternoon she picked up the telephone any number of times to ring Jess, but each time she hung up before her call went through, wanting and yet not wanting to hear Jess’s voice, to talk about what had happened.
Later that afternoon Kat made herself return to the bedroom. If she didn’t take control of this she’d be standing around simply seeing Jess everywhere. And the bedroom needed its final coat of paint. She covered everything with drop-sheets and got to work.
The paint roller sloshed across the paneling, gradually covering the bedroom wall. Usually Kat found the sound and the steady repetitive movements therapeutically restful, but today her thoughts were a jumble of memories, old and new. There was Jess of course. Here. Right here in this room. So captivating and alluring. And incredibly sexy. Jess kissing her the way Kat had wanted her to since the moment they’d met. And mixed in with it all was that mind-numbing evening at the hospital. It seemed to Kat that nothing she did would ever be restful again. Both scenes did looping reruns in her mind.
Reluctantly she forced herself to stop thinking about Jess. And when she succeeded in getting that to fade into the background, those other memories from her past flashed up in irregular starbursts of recall. People. Conversations. Long forgotten episodes from what she’d thought was her boring, eventless childhood. Her mother’s revelations had turned that upside down.
And none of it now seemed real. They felt like someone else’s memories, as though it was all part of someone else’s life, a someone else whose life Kat had always seen as a pale replica of everyone else’s life. Like Em’s, for instance.
But dull or not, it had been Kat’s life. Now it was all a huge lie, a sham. Kat felt as though the little she’d had went crumbling into dust and was swept away by the wild winds of truth.