by Sara Orwig
They shouldn’t be compatible. Was it purely sex? Since there hadn’t been any sex until Saturday night and he had spent time with her at the inn and Friday night in New York, he didn’t see how it could be purely lust.
He hadn’t thought beyond this weekend. His plan was a fun weekend in New York, then take her home and forget her. That was what she wanted him to do. She wasn’t thrilled with him at all. He wasn’t the type of man she wanted in her life. It was Lamont she wanted. How could he be so drawn to a woman who was drawn to a man like Lamont?
Josh looked at her smooth, flawless skin, her long lashes, her silky hair that fell in waves over her bare shoulders and the pillow. He shook his head. He couldn’t figure out his own feelings. Right now he wanted to wake her and make love. It had to be pure lust because they had nothing else between them. But if there was nothing between them, why had he wanted to take her to his ranch?
He thought about making arrangements to see her again. Beckett, Texas, was not convenient for a relationship. He mulled over possibilities. He hadn’t thought she would go to New York with him when he asked her, but she had. Perhaps she’d go on other adventures with him. He needed to get over wanting to be with her. She wasn’t his type. He wasn’t her type. Once he was back in his regular routine, he would forget her.
He lay on his back and stared into the room. A small lamp burned, and he reached over to switch it off. Darkness enveloped them, but he didn’t think he would sleep much. He turned, taking her into his arms and holding her close.
She sighed, tightened her arms around him and held him. Her breathing was deep and even, so she still slept. He wanted to kiss her awake and make love, but he let her sleep while he tried to figure why he wanted so badly to be with her.
* * *
Monday morning had spun away into afternoon when they got out of bed for Josh to cook breakfast. She took over and he helped.
“Our horseback ride will have to be another day. Which means you’ll have to come back again,” he said, smiling at her with a flash of white teeth. He reached across the table to take her hand. “I’d like you to come back, Abby,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said, knowing she never would be back. She withdrew her hand to eat her breakfast. “When did you buy this ranch?”
“As soon as I could when I graduated from college,” he said, telling her about the ranch as they ate toast and scrambled eggs. There were bowls of strawberries, blueberries and blackberries with slices of kiwi. China cups held steaming coffee, and tall glasses were chilled with orange juice.
“Maybe breakfast is lunch, too,” she said. “It’s late enough to be lunch.”
“After we eat, we can drive around the ranch. Or we can just go back to my bedroom.”
She paused and shook her head. “I’m going to opt to see the ranch because this will be my only chance.”
“On this trip,” he said.
It was an hour later when she met him in the hall, ready to see the property.
Looking very much the rancher, he wore a blue denim shirt and jeans, a broad-brimmed brown hat, a hand-tooled belt and his boots.
“You look great,” he said, his gaze sweeping over her. She thought she didn’t look any different in her pink sweater, jeans and suede boots from when he saw her at the inn except for her hair, which she still let fall freely.
It was a crisp spring afternoon with blue skies and a stiff breeze. As they headed out, Josh pulled on a denim jacket and gave her one of his to wear. In the truck, he talked about cattle and horses, and she could tell that he enjoyed the ranch and knew a lot about it for someone who was rarely there.
Josh pulled over to show her an ancient windmill that he had left standing because it was so old. They drove past a small sod house that was even older than the windmill and on the ranch when he bought it. Later he drove to a spot with three tall cottonwoods. They climbed out of the truck to walk to a creek that widened into a small pool before narrowing to a creek again. Jake sat on a boulder and helped her sit down beside him, keeping his arm around her.
“This is one of my favorite places. In the summer, it’s cool here, shady and quiet except for the water spilling over those rocks and into the pool. Some former owner hauled these rocks in here to create this pool, and it’s pleasant. Sometimes I come sit for a while, just sit and be quiet. It’s a good place to think and just do nothing except enjoy the ranch.”
“Maybe you’re not missing out on life as much as I thought,” she said, surprised he experienced such moments as he had just described.
“I have to admit, I haven’t been in this spot for two or three years. Those times are coming more seldom now because I’m so damn busy.”
“Maybe you should try to work the ranch into your schedule more often.”
“I’ve been thinking about it more and more. Actually, you make me think about it more,” he said.
“How so?” she asked.
“I guess all your talk about enjoying life. This is the life I really like.”
“Yet you choose to live in the corporate world. I’m returning to my opinion that you’re missing out on life.”
He gave her a crooked smile. “After the way you’ve taken to New York and come here with me and a few other things, I have to take back my judgment that you’re missing out on life. I suppose you’re not so much because you wring the most satisfaction out of every minute. You’re easy to please, which makes a difference.”
As they lapsed into silence, she listened to water spilling out of the pool, meandering on downstream, and thought about Josh’s life.
Finally he stood and offered his hand. “We’ll head back and get ready for tonight.” She couldn’t help but notice that he seemed lost in thought.
* * *
It was almost eight that evening when they entered the noisy, crowded honky-tonk. Fiddlers and a guitar player with a keyboard accompaniment provided the music. As soon as they had ordered a beer and a lemonade, he took her hand to dance.
They scooted around the floor with other couples, Abby watching Josh and desire building. Tonight, with his white Stetson, a navy Western-style shirt, a wide hand-tooled belt, tight jeans and boots, he was the most handsome man in the place or whom she had ever known, for that matter, and he looked every inch the wealthy rancher.
He seemed to know more than half the people present, speaking briefly to folks when they’d walked in and all the way to their table, then, speaking to more as they’d walked to the dance floor.
She already anticipated leaving. This was their last night together, and she wanted his kisses more than ever, wanted to be in his arms and make love again. He had changed her life. Tomorrow held uncertainties and questions, yet she wouldn’t go back and undo meeting Josh and all that had happened since for anything.
They danced three dances and the set ended. As they stood talking, waiting for the musicians to start again, a tall, brown-haired cowboy approached them.
“Howdy, Mr. Calhoun.”
“Evening, Johnny Frank.”
“Haven’t seen you here in a long time.”
“Nope. I haven’t been home in a long time. This is Abby Donovan. Abby, meet Johnny Frank Smith.”
“You’re not from around here, are you?” Johnny Frank asked her.
“No, I’m from Beckett, Texas.”
“Mr. Calhoun, would you mind if I dance with Miss Donovan?” Johnny Frank asked.
“That’s up to her,” Josh said.
Johnny Frank turned to smile at Abby, and she smiled in return. “Thank you. That’s nice. Since I came with Josh, I better stay with Josh, but I do thank you for asking, and I’m glad to have met you.”
“Sure, ma’am. Thanks. See you both,” he said, grinning and walking away.
“Thank you for turning him down,” Josh said. “I see ot
her guys watching, and I think we may have an evening of invitations for you, although since you discouraged Johnny Frank, we might not. But I’m ready to toss in the towel and go back to the ranch, where I can have you all to myself. Would you mind?”
She laughed. “I don’t mind. I’d prefer that, too.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he said, slipping his arm around her waist possessively and heading for the door.
Outside she laughed. “That was mighty short, but fun.”
“Well, I think if we’d stayed, you could have been the belle of the ball. You watch. Johnny Frank will come to Beckett and look you up.”
“I doubt that,” she said.
His arm tightened around her waist as he halted and turned her to face him, wrapping both arms around her and leaning down to kiss her hard, possessively. Everything else ceased to exist except Josh as she clung to him and kissed him in return.
Finally, when he released her, both of them were breathing hard. “Let’s get home where we’ll be alone,” he said, holding her close as they hurried to his pickup.
As they sped back to the ranch along the dark county road, she watched him drive. Light from the dash reflected on his face, highlighting his prominent cheekbones, throwing his cheeks into shadow. He had not shaved and had a slight growth of dark stubble that fit with their entertainment for the evening and made him look more like one of the cowboys.
“You’re very quiet,” she said.
“Thanks again for turning Johnny Frank down. I wanted to punch him out.”
“Good heavens. I’m glad you restrained yourself.”
“I wouldn’t have hit him. I’ve never done anything like that except to defend myself, but I still didn’t want you to dance with him. You bring out reactions in me I’ve never had before, and I’m having experiences with you I’ve never had before.”
“I can certainly say the same thing about you,” she said, not about to tell him that he had changed her life. “The only new experiences I can think you’ve had are sleeping on my short sofa and maybe asking Mr. Hickman to go fishing. Perhaps washing dishes and shoveling my drive and all that work you did.”
“Nope. I’ve done plenty of that kind of work as a kid. And I’ve slept in worse places. I was so thankful to have that short sofa—you’ll never know how glad I was to find a place to stay.”
She lapsed into quiet, gazing out the window at the dark landscape and a myriad of twinkling stars overhead while she thought about her weekend with him.
When they walked into his house, he turned to draw her close again. “I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered before his mouth covered hers and prevented an answer.
* * *
The next day, he took her to the plane that would fly her back to Beckett. He stood at the foot of the steps and faced her, unable to resist touching her. He rested his hands lightly on her slender shoulders. It surprised him how much he wanted her to stay longer. He touched a long lock of her silky hair and then pulled her woolen jacket closer under her chin, little touches he wasn’t sure why he needed. All he knew was he didn’t want to tell her goodbye. “The weekend was great and it was special,” he said.
“It was for me, too, Josh. Thank you for everything.”
“When you land in Beckett, Benny will meet you and take you to the inn.” Josh pulled her to him to kiss her. When he released her, he gazed at her. “I don’t want to let you go.”
Her blue eyes darkened slightly. “I think you have to,” she said.
“I really don’t want to. Abby, travel with me. I can hire someone to run the inn for you,” he said, his words spilling out fast. “Come travel with me and live with me. It’ll be like the weekend only even better, and I can show you the world.”
Her eyes widened until he felt as if he would be consumed by a look. “We would have a wonderful time together.”
“Josh, I can’t do that. I have family and responsibilities.”
“I’d cover the responsibilities for you. You can see your family whenever you want. I can easily afford to hire people to run the bed-and-breakfast whenever you’re not there.”
“I can’t live with you. I just can’t. My answer is a definite no, and I don’t even have to think about it.”
“I want you to think about it.”
She shook her head. “No, it would never work, and I wouldn’t be happy. Don’t make this weekend a mistake. It’s been wonderful, like a dream. Let’s keep it that way, but you and I don’t have a future. I really don’t have one that would include moving in and traveling with you,” she said. The tone of her voice became frosty. “That’s not my life and never will be.”
Her words were firm, and he stepped back. “I’ll be in touch. You take care,” he said.
“Thank you.” She turned to hurry up the steps into the plane and reappeared at a window. She waved and he returned the wave. He turned around to walk away because the plane would take off soon.
The invitation to move in with him and travel with him had been impulsive, not even like him, because he usually thought things through. But it hadn’t mattered because she wouldn’t accept his offer. Not only that, but he also had a feeling she was insulted that he would even ask. He hadn’t meant to offend her—far from it. He wanted her with him and he wanted to see her again. He didn’t want goodbye.
He took a deep breath. He needed to forget her and go on with his life because they had no future together. He suspected she would not go away for another weekend with him.
As he climbed into his vehicle the white Calhoun plane took off in the distance. He paused, certain she was flying out of his life.
* * *
In Beckett, Benny met her and took her things to place them in his cab. As they headed toward town and the inn, he glanced at her in the rearview mirror. “I heard you’ve been to New York. What was it like?”
She smiled, glancing at him in the mirror as he returned his attention to the road. “It’s a wonderful city with so much to do. If I lived there, I don’t think I could ever do all I want.”
“So you had a good time. You were with Josh Calhoun. He’s really a nice guy.”
“Yes, he is, Benny. He helped me a lot at the inn while Justin and Arden were gone.”
“That’s him. He tipped me the biggest tip I’ve ever had or ever will have. I think that’s mostly because I tried so hard to find him a place to stay.”
“That was very nice of you, and he told me. He really appreciated your help.”
“He made that obvious. What did you see in New York?”
While she told him, she thought about Josh and being with him for the weekend. It had been wonderful, a dream come true until time to board the plane, when he asked her to move in with him and travel with him. In that moment, he was clearly the man she had expected him to be all the time. The charmer who was not into lasting relationships. His invitation had been a big reminder that she needed to put some space between herself and Josh, which shouldn’t be difficult to do because time and distance would separate them anyway. She tried to pay attention to Benny’s questions about New York and knew she would have another barrage of questions at the inn.
To her relief, when she arrived, Justin was in charge. He would ask her fewer questions than her mom would have and go on with talking about his own life.
She went to her room to change and put away her things. When she entered her sitting room, she thought of Josh there, remembered kissing him in this room, memories now that hurt.
Her cell phone rang, and she saw it was call from him. She didn’t feel like taking it, so she dropped the phone back into her pocket.
She changed, heard the phone again and saw it was Josh once more. She let it ring. She wasn’t ready to talk yet. She felt on a rocky emotional edge. She would have to get Josh out of her life, a
nd it was going to hurt to do so. It already hurt to have him ask her to travel with him and live with him, to have him ask her to toss her life and family aside for his pleasure. She was sure he would compensate her with dresses and other gifts that really weren’t that important to her. At the moment, she didn’t want either of the dresses he had bought for her. If only he had just ended their amazing weekend without asking her to travel with him. She was determined to get him out of her thoughts and out of her life. There was no way to ever get him out of her memories.
Carrying souvenirs for Justin and Arden, she left her suite. As she walked down the hall, the elevator doors opened and Lamont emerged with briefcase in hand.
“Lamont, hello,” she said, smiling, feeling a sense of dread, which she hoped she hid.
He paused. “Abby. So you’re back. How was New York?”
“I did a lot of tourist things and had fun. Are you here to see Mr. Hickman?”
“Yes. Edwin had to sign some papers, and it’s quicker to just come by so I can answer questions. Abby, I think we should have dinner and talk and reconsider not seeing each other socially. I have some questions to ask you. Now isn’t the time or place because we can be interrupted at any moment. Can you go to dinner tomorrow night?”
“I still feel we need time and space and to see other people, and for now I want to stick with that. We’re not in love, and we never have been. Maybe we’re cheating ourselves out of a very good future. Let’s leave it as is for now.”
“I think you’ve let this Calhoun fellow influence you. He won’t marry you, Abby. You should rethink some of your decisions, because you may be making a big mistake.”