by Kennedy Fox
“Oh my God,” I whisper, trying to take a mental snapshot of what I’m seeing.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I say, completely amazed.
He guides me over to a spot on the ground that’s cleared and lays out the blanket. Sitting, he taps the place next to him, and I follow.
“Lie back,” he says, and I do, and the sky is all that I can see. Evan lies down next to me, our arms brushing one another’s, and my heart is racing so fast I feel like it may burst straight out of my chest.
“Do you see the backward question mark?” His voice is low and silky smooth as he points up at the sky.
“Yes. How cool. I’ve never seen the stars like this before,” I say, glancing over at him. We’re face to face, and I need him so fucking bad, but I refuse to make the first move tonight. He’s going to have to cross that line if he wants it as badly as I do.
“That’s the constellation Leo. The brightest star at the very bottom of Leo is named Regulus, and it’s also known as the Lion’s Heart. I kinda figured you’ve never seen the sky like this. There’s so much light pollution in cities that it’s hard to believe this even exists. So many people take this for granted, but when I get the chance, I try to come out here and appreciate the night sky. If I wouldn’t have become a doctor, I like to think I would’ve become an astrophysicist.”
I chuckle. “You’d make a sexy astrophysicist.” I look back up at the stars and smile because I’ve only ever seen the sky like this in pictures. I’m practically speechless.
Evan places the binoculars to his eyes, then hands them to me. “Look in this area of the sky. Scan it until you see a V shape. It’s a loose association of bright stars, and they’re amazing to look at with these. It’s the Beehive Cluster, or if we’re really nerding it up, Messier 44. It was one of the first objects Galileo studied with his telescope.”
I scoot my body around and lean my head against his stomach, then place the binoculars to my eyes and do exactly what he says. It takes me a minute, and right when I’m ready to give up, I see them. “Holy shit!” I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
“Take your time to really look at the star fields. The first time is the best.” He chuckles, causing my head to bop up and down on his stomach. I take the binoculars from my eyes and look over at him.
“Show me something else,” I tell him, sitting up.
He smirks and scoots close to me, then points at the horizon. “Do you see that star right there? Try to put it in your view, and when you see four other stars in a line very close, you’ll see it.”
I point the binoculars in that direction and search the sky exactly like he says. I place my elbows on my knees to help steady the binoculars. It takes me a few minutes, but when the stars come into view, it’s obvious. When I gasp, he knows I’ve found them.
“That’s Jupiter and its moons,” he continues. I could listen to him talk about this all night long. My interest is piqued, and seeing how excited he is makes me interested in learning more.
“Seeing Jupiter like this is unbelievable. I guess this is where I make a corny joke about how you’re out of this world, right?” I turn and look at him.
“Sweetheart, we both already know that.” He winks.
Evan moves closer to me, his head close to mine so he can see where I’m looking as I scan the sky with the binoculars. Each time we touch, a jolt of electricity soars through me, and I know he feels it too. His voice is just above a whisper as he directs me where to look in the sky to see more star clusters and constellations. I don’t want this night to end. I’ve never experienced anything like this, especially not on a first date.
As I’m completely entranced by this view, he grabs his backpack, digs inside, then pulls something out.
“I got you a surprise,” he says, handing me a small gift bag.
I grab it and place my hand inside and laugh as soon as I feel what it is. “Black licorice. Really?” I pull out a piece and happily take a bite. “You know the way straight to a girl’s heart.”
“Sweetheart, if that’s all it took, I would’ve knocked on your door earlier with a bag of black licorice and called it a night.”
I playfully smack him. “Yeah, right. You only knocked on my door because I paid for you.”
Evan’s smile softens, and he tucks my hair behind my ear. He leans in close, his mouth just inches from mine. “If you wouldn’t have snuck out and left me butt-ass naked, I’d probably have asked you out that morning.”
I swallow hard and am shocked by the truth in his words. “Evan. I was…”
It’s the only words I can get out before his lips crash violently into mine. Tonight, I don’t think either of us will survive as we lose ourselves in each other. The stars, the crickets, everything around us disappears as his tongue swirls with mine. He pulls my bottom lip into his mouth and tugs. The sparks ignite between us, causing a fire to blaze deep inside my core. The tips of his fingers brush across my cheek, and I feel as if I’m falling into a dark abyss with him as he deepens the kiss. I can’t seem to catch my breath, but I can’t get enough of him. My heart is ready to rip straight through my chest as I take my time memorizing his mouth, the way his hair feels entwined in my fingers, and the taste of him. I need his kisses, his touch searing my skin, his heart beating rapidly against mine. I need him in ways I’ve never needed or wanted him nor anyone before.
I lightly tug at his hair, and he lets out a deep, throaty moan.
“You’re going to be the end of my resolve.” He smiles against my mouth, painting my lips with his.
I can’t hold back my smile either. “And to think it all started with a dare.”
He places a quick smack on my lips before pulling away and lying back on the blanket with his arms open. “Come on,” he tells me as I scoot my body close to his and lay my head on his arm and look up at the vastness and shining stars.
“Oh,” I say, pointing up as I watch a star shoot across the sky leaving a glittering trail behind. I turn and look at Evan, and the way he looks with messy, wild hair and that sexy smile is enough to bring a woman to her knees. I can’t help but think how lucky I am to be right here, right now, out of all the places I could be in the world. I will never forget this night for the rest of my life.
His voice pulls me from my thoughts. “The Lyrid meteor shower was a week ago, so watch this area of the sky. If we see more, they’ll be around there. And tonight’s your lucky night because it’s clear and the transparency is great.”
Evan holds me tightly against his body, and all I can hear is our staggered breathing and the faint sounds of the crickets. Another star zips across the sky, and I would’ve missed it had I blinked. His fingers brush against my arm, and as he leans over, he whispers in my ear. “Make a wish on your star.”
I smile. “I already have.”
Lying there for a little while longer, it’s obvious that neither of us wants the night to end, regardless of the yawns coming in quicker succession. It’s late, considering we have to be back at work tomorrow. I sit up and stretch, and so does Evan.
“Guess it’s about that time, isn’t it?” he asks, looking at his watch.
I nod. “Guess it is. Maybe we can do this again sometime?”
Evan stands and holds out his hand for me. I take it, and he pulls me up and into his arms. “I’d like that.”
My eyes flutter closed when Evan kisses me softly and sweetly, and I can’t help but think that tomorrow all of this will be a distant memory. Things will go back to how they were, and we’ll pretend that nothing ever happened—as always. It’s these precious moments when he’s completely vulnerable that allow me to see who he really is. He hands me the licorice and shakes the blanket out before folding it and shoving it back into the backpack.
I take a piece out and tear off a bite.
“You’re such a savage with that stuff.” He laughs. “They say that shit causes cancer.”
I shrug. “Yeah, I hear coffee can
too apparently,” I mock. Pushing the bag in his direction, I offer him a piece. “You should try one.”
“No fuckin’ way. I tried black licorice jelly beans as a kid and almost puked. You must have zero taste buds to think it’s delicious. Reminds me of NyQuil.”
Now, I’m laughing. “I’ve been trying to give it up, especially because it’s filled with sugar, but I just can’t shake it. I haven’t found the willpower.”
“Well, if you need any help, I’d be glad to assist you in a three-step program for kicking the habit,” he muses.
“How gentlemanly of you to offer.” I snicker, looping my arm in his as we walk down the trail leading to the B&B.
“I’m always a gentleman.” He winks.
“So I’ve heard.” I laugh, though I’m joking. We walk in silence for a few moments before his expression turns somber and he rubs his fingers along his jaw.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he begins. “I know there’s gotta be some kind of backstory as to why you were so adamant about Mr. Brauer and his leg. I couldn’t see it before, which is why I was such an asshole, but Emily, I can see it now. It was written all over your face. You looked so defeated when Dr. Dursley couldn’t assure you it could be saved,” Evan continues, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
I let out a long sigh, wondering if I want to go into this right now because the night has been so perfect. Since he’s my colleague and “more than just a friend,” I trust him, and he deserves to know the truth. I don’t have anything to hide, at least not from him, but it’s still a painful part of my past I don’t willingly share.
“Well, when I was fifteen, I was driving with a learner’s permit, and my mother and I were having a heated argument. It was important for me to practice my driving skills, and usually, she was the only one around who could accompany me. Unfortunately, we typically spent those times fighting about me participating in extracurricular activities that would look good on my college applications. I enjoyed science more than sports, and she was constantly on me for not being diverse enough. Anyway, one thing led to another, and the bickering went on, distracting me from double-checking my surroundings. We were at a stoplight, and as soon as the light turned green, I drove into the intersection, and we were T-boned by a truck who ran the red light. I should’ve looked in both directions before going because I always did, especially as a brand-new driver, but I just wanted to get back home and away from her constant nagging. The truck plowed into my little BMW on my mother’s side, and there was nothing I could do. She was trapped between the door and the middle console from the impact. The pressure stopped the blood flow to her leg, and by the time they sawed her out and got her to the hospital, it was too late. Her foot was white, and they couldn’t find a pulse. The skin was mangled from her ankle all the way to her thigh.” I pause, inhaling a deep breath as I recall the events that changed our lives forever. “Anyway, she ended up needing surgery, and her leg was amputated to prevent infection since there was no blood flow. The surgeon did an above-the-knee amputation, and since then, I’ve seen firsthand what it can do to someone. It took a huge toll on her and on the family, and my father started working even more to avoid her, which left me at home to help and take the emotional abuse my mother dished out. At first, she was too proud to allow my father to hire someone, so she relied on us kids most of the time. I didn’t mind helping her, but I saw the way it destroyed her life. She gave up easily, became depressed, bitter, and basically a shell of who she once was.”
“Emily, I had no idea. I’m really sorry,” he quietly says, the sorrow evident in his tone. Most people don’t know how to respond to a story like that, and I know it’s a heavy thing to hear.
“Needless to say, I know what it was like for her, watching her struggle to do everyday tasks. It wasn’t easy considering she was so independent beforehand and was left to rely on other people for almost everything. It took away her pride and affected her mental health. And still, to this day, I can’t help but wonder how different her life would be if the doctors would’ve tried to take her leg below the knee, so a prosthetic could’ve been a real possibility. I truly believe our relationship and her life would’ve been different. She tried to wear one, but it was too painful, and you know as well as I do, without a knee, it’s doable but almost impossible. My father had the money to buy whatever she needed, but the pain was unbearable, and it made her not want to try anymore. Being unable to walk put a strain on our relationship because I felt as if it were my fault. She stopped being a mother, and we’ve lost years together because of it. Now, it’s something she’ll have to live with for the rest of her life, and so will I.”
“So that’s why you worked with ortho surgeons during your residency?” he asks as we walk into the B&B, and I grab my duffel bag that I left with John. After being in the dark for hours, it seems bright inside, though the lights are turned down low. The girl working the night shift sits at the desk, and between a yawn, she greets us. We both say hi at the same time.
Once we get out of earshot and walk toward the front door, I continue our conversation. “Yes, it became a passion of mine to learn everything about orthopedics that I could, hoping that one day I could help other people avoid what my mother went through. I wanted to be their voice when they didn’t have one. It was more than just helping patients; it became personal. I know as doctors we’re supposed to cut all that off, but seeing Mr. Brauer brought it all back.”
“I can understand that. I would’ve reacted the same way.” Evan smiles and opens the door for me to walk out first.
Before he unlocks the truck, he grabs my hand, then pulls me into his arms and holds me.
“I’m always here if you want to talk about anything,” he tells me. “Going forward, if this happens again, pull me to the side. Tell me to quit being an asshole. Sometimes when I’m in the moment, it’s complete tunnel vision, but you were right. You were completely right, and I’m sorry again.”
He smiles, then softly places a kiss on my forehead. This is a whole new side to Evan I could definitely get used to; however, I won’t keep my hopes up, knowing that as doctors we pride ourselves on being professional. He’s letting his guard down with me tonight, but I know as soon as things get too real, his walls will go right back up. Either way, I’ll take him any way I can get him, and if he wants to be sweet and supportive Evan outside of work, I definitely won’t stop him.
“I forgive you this time, but don’t let it happen again,” I joke.
“Don’t push your luck, Bell.” He smacks me on the ass as I step up to get into the truck.
On the way back to my condo, we talk about the stars and the Milky Way, and Evan explains that if we’d’ve stayed out a few more hours, we would’ve seen it rise. I make him promise to show me one day, and he tells me with certainty that he will. As he pulls into my driveway, I know the night is coming to an end. Like a perfect gentleman, he walks me to my door, places my cheek in his hand, and kisses me so sweetly that I almost melt.
I unlock the door, and he watches me step inside.
“Good night, Emily,” he says before turning to walk away.
“Evan.” I muster up the courage to allow my heart to speak, throwing all logic out the fucking window. I know I shouldn’t, but right now, I don’t care. “Wait…”
He turns and looks back at me, and when our eyes meet, I know I can’t let our night be over.
“Please stay.”
Chapter Nineteen
EVAN
I stare into Emily’s pleading eyes and see the hopeful way she’s looking at me. Her chest rises and falls, waiting anxiously for my response. We haven’t hooked up since that last time in the on-call room, but I’ve thought about ripping her clothes off every fucking day since then. There’s something about her that drives me wild and makes me walk toward her to give her exactly what she’s asking for.
“I want more than one night with you, Emily,” I tell her, brushing my lips against hers. “For the
first time in a long time, I want… more.”
My thumb traces along her jawline, feeling the cool softness of her skin. Texas gets chilly at night, and her cheeks are tinted a nice rosy hue. She nods her head just the slightest bit, so I take a small step back to double-check her response.
“Yes,” she confirms.
“Yes what, baby? I need to hear you say it.”
She sucks in her lower lip before breaking out in the sweetest smile. “I’m all in.”
I tilt my head back and exhale. “Thank fuck.”
Grabbing her face in my hands, I plant my mouth on hers and kiss her deeply. She moans against me, clasping her hands around my waist and bringing us together. The urgency to get each other naked so I can bury myself deep inside her takes over. I push us farther inside and kick the door shut with my foot. Her condo is pitch black, and as I follow her steps down the hall, we run into things and knock them over as we stumble our way through.
“Hope that wasn’t important,” I mumble against her lips when I hear something else fall. When her knees hit the end of the bed, I know we’re in her bedroom.
“It’s just an artificial plant my ex-boyfriend gave me.”
I growl against her smirking mouth. “It’s going in the trash first thing tomorrow.”
“Why? The plant didn’t do anything. It’s innocent.” Her fingers fidget with the buttons on my shirt.
“It’s an accessory to a crime. If you really want a plant, I’ll buy you one.”
She smiles, bringing a hand up to my cheek. “I kind of like this possessive side of you when you aren’t barking orders and pissing me off.”
“Oh, I still plan to order you around.” I wink, and she rolls her eyes in response. “But you know we’ll still have to be professional at work, or we’ll never hear the end of it.”
“I’m pretty certain Veronica has been onto us since day one anyway.”
“Probably. She knows everything.” I shrug, not really concerned if she does know because I trust her enough to keep her mouth shut.