Ambrosia Lane 1-3: Saranna DeWylde

by Desperate Housewives of Olympus

“What? No. I’m sorry. I just… don’t call me that, okay?”

  “No problem.”

  “Why would your mother smite you for making me cry?”

  “I mentioned we were friends. She said to be nice to you. Actually, verbatim was: Don’t be a dick.”

  “I love your mom. She’s cool. I wish my mom was as laid back as yours is.”

  “I think it happens with age. Nyx is older than dirt.” He flashed her a smile.

  “Niiice. I dare you to say that to her face.”

  “I did, just a few hours ago. And she made me fig cakes with cream cheese frosting.”

  “You are so spoiled.”

  “Yeah, and I like it that way.”

  “Wait, you just had fig cakes and now you want ice cream?” She eyed him. “You better be careful or you’ll be fat as Dionysus.”

  “And look at the tail he still pulls down. Last week he was—,” he broke off. “Sorry. I’m doing it again.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Being a dick. You don’t want to hear this stuff.”

  “No, it’s fine. You and Eros are the only ones who don’t treat me like I’m going to break. So please, don’t stop being you. Talk about whatever you want. Even tail, I don’t care. It’s time I learned something of the world, I think.” She smiled at him.

  “In that case, I’m your god.” Thanatos grinned. “Give me that smile again and I’ll let you drive my pale horse.” He winked.

  “Was that a euphemism?” She wrinkled her nose.

  “What? No.” They were suddenly sitting inside of a white ‘69 Ford Mustang convertible. “He’s been with me for awhile now. His name is Jimmy.”

  “And you’re still telling me that’s not a euphemism?”

  “Time for your first lesson, Persephone. Keep referring to that and a god will think it’s a euphemism for a euphemism. Get my drift?”

  “No.”

  “Flirting, pretty girl. You’re being flirty.”

  “You think I’m pretty?” Suddenly, inspiration flashed. She could feel Thalia’s presence all around her and knew it to be divine.

  “Come on. You know you’re pretty.”

  “No, I mean, am I pretty to you? There are some girls who are pretty by any standard, some who are pretty to a few and some who are beautiful. Some who are more like works of art than something feminine to be touched. What am I to you? Would it be a hardship to kiss me?” she asked thoughtfully.

  Thanatos looked like a deer caught in the blaring lights of an oncoming Mack truck.

  “Look, you know I love Hades, right?” Persephone ventured.

  “I assumed that’s what you didn’t want to talk about.”

  “Cute and smart.” She grinned. “You said this is my first lesson? Well, I’ve got a lesson to teach too. To Hades.”

  “I see. You want me to make him jealous.” Thanatos rolled his eyes. “This has ends badly written all over it with a red Sharpie.”

  “You’re the only other god he’d buy me falling for. You both have that bad boy dark thing going on. You’re also one of the only other gods whose ass he can’t hand back to them like a Happy Meal.”

  He leaned back in the seat. “Persephone, what if you only had a week to live? Would you want to spend it trying to inflict more misery on the god you profess to love?”

  “Yes. In the hopes he’d realize he still loves me before I’m gone.”

  “Have you ever considered that maybe he does?”

  “I know he does.”

  “No, he loved you enough to let you go. It’s not that he doesn’t realize it. Maybe he wants better for you. I know if you’d been my goddess and I had to see you with someone else, it would tear me apart. If you still love him, don’t shred what he’s got left for a game.”

  “What he’s got left? You know what he’s got? He’s got some woman in the castle where I used to live asking him where the damn the towels are. He’s telling her she doesn’t need them because he’ll just get her dirty again.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because I was on the phone with him when it happened.”

  “Maybe it wasn’t—okay, it probably was. I have to be honest though, what did you expect?”

  “I didn’t know what to expect!” she cried. “Please, Thanatos. Please help me. He told me to move on, I want to show him what it would be like if I did. Being away from him, it taught me how much I want to be with him. Why couldn’t it do the same for him?”

  He still looked unsure.

  “Just one kiss here on the Lane where everyone can see. Is it too much to ask for a kiss from Death?”

  “Persephone, it’s not that you’re not kissable…”

  Was he really telling her no? After the day she’d had? Screw the ice cream. He was going to kiss her and like it.

  “Did you know Hades calls himself the Master of the Dead?”

  “He is.” Thanatos shrugged.

  “No, I think he thinks of himself as the Master of Death.”

  “Oh, what, like saying he thinks he’s the ‘boss of me’ is going incite rebellion?”

  “Doesn’t it?”

  “You’re damn right it does.” Thanatos threaded his fingers through Persephone’s golden hair and dragged her to him for a hard kiss, there with the top down on his pale horse convertible.

  NYX

  This is a bad idea, Nyx thought as she walked up to the front door of Pomegranate Pizza.

  Probably the worst in the history of bad ideas and that was saying a lot, but Nyx hadn’t actually been out on a real date in centuries. Sure, she got hers, but it was always a “hit it and quit it” sort of arrangement as her son was so fond of saying.

  It wasn’t that Apollo wasn’t handsome, or witty, or any of the things she would look for, it was simply that he seemed so very young to her. He was friends with her son—a Lifetime movie waiting to happen: My Son’s Best Friend, My Lover. (She was ashamed to admit, she loved LMN.)If that wasn’t bad enough, like most of the gods he was Zeus’ get and Nyx had been old when Zeus had taken his first breath. Youth wasn’t the issue when it was only sex, but this was a date. A date implied interest in a relationship. Unless he’d been afraid to ask his best friend to set him up with his mom for a shag… Perfectly reasonable excuse. Nyx vowed to put that out there as soon as she saw him. Get it out of the way. So, depending on his answer, she could be nervous later.

  Meeting a boy at the pizza parlor? Nyx felt stupid. She also felt every single eye on Ambrosia Lane watching her. Even the Cyclops who ran the parlor was looking at her and he had fourteen ovens to watch. No mean feat with one freaking eye.

  Nyx darted into the bathroom to check her reflection one last time. She’d opted out of the fairy dress. As much as she liked it, she had no idea what to expect. It wasn’t like she couldn’t change if they did something that required more formal attire. She’d gone with jeans and while they were black, they definitely weren’t a muumuu. They were what the mortals were calling “apple-bottom”. She’d gone with a shimmery peasant style blouse that could be low-cut or demure, as she chose. Depending on how the evening was going.

  “Heya!” Artemis appeared beside her and Nyx shrieked like an arachnophobe with a tarantula in her knickers. “Gods, Nyx. It’s only me.”

  “Hello, Artemis. You know, a bathroom isn’t really a place where one pops uninvited.”

  “I’m not invited?” she pouted. “That’s just as well. I have to say something and I don’t know if you’re going like it.”

  “Don’t be shitty to Apollo and if I’m only after sex to say so, so he doesn’t get the wrong idea?” Nyx supplied.

  “Yep. That about covers it.” Artemis ticked off her talking points on her fingers and deemed them to have all been addressed.

  “And if I did break his heart?” she asked gently. Artemis was ditzy like a game show blond. Wait, she was a game show blond—on the Game Show Channel. It was a hobby of hers.

  “Not sure. I’d have to do somethin
g though, you know? It’s like the brother-sister-best pal sort of code.” Artemis nodded.

  “Sure, I get it.”

  “You’re ace, Nyx. I knew you’d understand. I mean, he’s never been real commitment minded, but you’re special. You’re different from the other goddesses. And the way he looked at you, wow. The god was head over arse. So, be kind.”

  “I recently had this conversation with my son.” Nyx commiserated.

  “Right? Why is he tangled up over Persephone.” Artemis made a sound like she was vomiting. “If he had to go for the blond virginal type, why did it have to be her? I don’t see the attraction.”

  “Me either.” Nyx curled her lip in disgust. “She’s not ugly or anything, but she’s spoiled and cruel. At least from what I’ve seen. Granted, I don’t know her, so I shouldn’t be making that judgment, but I don’t think she’d be best for Thanatos.”

  “Then there’s her horrible mother. Who’d want Demeter for an in-law?”

  “That’s mean, Artemis. Demeter’s… not so bad,” she managed half-heartedly.

  Artemis snorted and choked. “Puh-lease. She’s awful—the horrible monster-in-law archetype.”

  Nyx hadn’t known Artemis used words like archetype. She was impressed. “I will admit if I were a god, I wouldn’t go sniffing up that tree if you paid me.”

  “So, do you think you could put in a good word to Thanatos for me? I’m a blond virginal type.” Artemis looked hopeful. “At least if you don’t think I’m too horrible a tree to be sniffing.” She colored. “I mean, well, you know what I mean.”

  “I do and as much as I hate to say it, because really, the friend zone sucks…”

  “I know,” she sighed. “Be his friend. When this thing for Persephone bursts into flame, be there for him. I do know. I just…” she growled and clenched her fingers.

  “Gods are frustrating.” Nyx patted her hand in a motherly way.

  “Are you going to give me the don’t break his heart talk too?”

  Nyx looked at her for a long time. “No, dear. I think you already know.”

  Artemis rewarded her with a smile and then perked. “Apollo is here. Have fun!” And she popped out of the bathroom.

  Poor goddess. She was stuck like glue on Thanatos and he only had eyes for Persephone who was stuck on Hades who was going to be fucking Hera who was still married to Zeus who was hell-bent on shagging Abstinence who wanted none of it from anyone. She could design a new game with all of this mess: Six Degrees of a Migraine. Patching all of that together made her head hurt. The worst part was that none of it was necessary. It made Nyx thankful she wasn’t a godling and had been through all the Oh-My-Gods-Angst of relationshipping. Then she wondered if she was going to have something to throw in the mix tomorrow that would have her calling Hera in one of those same godling dramas. She shook her head at herself and went out to meet Apollo.

  The first thing she noticed was that he was wearing black.

  Muumuu, indeed. The slacks and designer turtleneck made him look very US East Coast Prep. It was sexy on him.

  He gave her a genuine smile that reached his eyes. “Wanna get out of here?”

  Damn if that wasn’t fast. So much for being nervous about it being a real date. This was her comfort zone. She could do this. Nyx nodded and he held the door for her. There were still a hundred eyes on her, but at least out in the evening air she could breathe.

  “Where would you like to go?” he asked.

  “It’s up to you, really.” Nyx was good, wherever he thought was best. Although, if he said her place, she’d have to demure. No matter what she’d told Thanatos, she wasn’t brining Apollo back to the temple for a quick in/out.

  “Do you like dancing?”

  What did that have to do with anything? Was this going to be some joke about the horizontal mambo? If so, she’d have reconsider the whole experience. She nodded experimentally—she waited to see what else he was going to say.

  “There’s a great discothèque in Greece. There’ll be live music tonight.”

  Oh shit. He really did want to take her somewhere.

  Out in public.

  Together.

  Nyx’s stomach flipped and she was sure she was going to hurl. She hadn’t been out with a god in… she couldn’t remember how long.

  She must have gone pale—from ghostly white to incandescent because he said something. “Not a fan of the discothèque, then?”

  “I’m going to be brutally honest.”

  “I thought Night was supposed to hide our sins, not shine a light.” He gave her a half smile that could have been a grin or a smirk, she wasn’t sure which.

  “Nothing that happens at night is ever really a secret. So, might as well save us both the trouble, right?”

  “You don’t really want to go out with me?” His smile never wavered. “Is Thanatos holding his visits hostage or something?”

  “It’s not that. Well, it is that. But not like you think,” she babbled.

  He waited patiently for her to continue. It felt odd, but it was like he was the grown up and she was child who had something on her shoe she’d tracked through the house and he was waiting for a reasonable explanation.

  “You just surprised me is all.” Yeah, that wasn’t going to fly. She knew he was going to want details, but suddenly, with him so close and the very real possibility of having him in her bed, she didn’t want to mess it up. Who knew?

  “Nyx, I know you don’t really date. So this is new. How about we just have fun, okay? No pressure. We’ll go hang out, you can drive the chariot at dawn and I’ll drop you safe and sound at your temple.”

  “What if I don’t mind the pressure?” Damn it, how had that escaped her mouth? She needed to have a new filter installed; one that actually did what it was supposed to do and kept her from running off at the suck.

  “Now I’m confused. I’m just a god, so you’re going to have to spell it out.”

  “That’s how you surprised me. You wanted to take me somewhere.”

  “That’s generally what one does on a date, Nyx,” he mock whispered.

  “I know, but I thought this was…something else.”

  Apollo laughed and it was a deep, rich sound that reminded Nyx of summer. “You thought I was trying to get laid?”

  “Well, yeah.” She grinned awkwardly.

  “Nyx,” he tsked. “Getting laid is easy. Finding a goddess or a woman I can talk to, or want to spend time with other than fucking, that’s tough.”

  “Correction. I do mind the pressure.” She laughed.

  He laughed again. “So, a quick roll in the proverbial hay and you were good to go, but talking about really getting to know each other scares you?”

  “Most definitely,” she admitted cheerfully, pleased he understood.

  “And here I thought you were going out with me to drive the chariot.”

  “That too.” She nodded enthusiastically.

  “When I was a young god, I made it a condition to be in the chariot, you had to put out.”

  “I know. You were a bad influence on Thanatos,” she admonished.

  “And yet, here we are.” The look on his face promised the same when he got her into the chariot.

  “What do you think it is we have to talk about?” she challenged.

  “I don’t know. Maybe we should just go back to your temple and call it a night.” He winked at her playfully.

  “I like that id—I don’t. Can’t, I mean. I promised Thanatos I wouldn’t bring you back for a quickie because he’s staying over.”

  “I’ve got one of my kids at my place too.” He shrugged helplessly. “Looks like we have to find something to go do instead. Like a real date.”

  “Dancing it is. Unless you want to sneak into the bathroom here? It would save on the cover charge.”

  “Nyx, you’re not getting out of this. If you don’t want to go out with me again after, I can take it. But we’re going to do something that isn’t horizontal.”

/>   “Don’t you like horizontal? I mean, you do have a lot of children.”

  “To be fair, I haven’t fathered any children in a century.”

  “So, you don’t like it?” she needled.

  “I guess not.” Apollo was completely unruffled by her jibe.

  Nyx liked that, probably more than she should have. In fact, after her initial discomfort, she liked the whole exchange. He wasn’t intimidated by her age, or her mouth and he obviously wasn’t thinking of her as Thanatos’ mother. She’d been worried this had been some godling spank bank fantasy and he’d be…well, not like this.

  “Okay, fine. Have it your way.” She softened her words with a genuine smile.

  “I plan to.”

  His lighthearted flirting sent warmth fluttering through her. She was giddy and scared all at once. Nyx was surprised to find she liked this too. It had been a long time since her interest had been piqued. What would Hera say?

  She wondered how her friend was doing with her plans for total Olympic domination. But all other thoughts fell out of her head like candy in a piñata when Apollo put his hand on her waist.

  “Are you ready?”

  Nyx’s cheeks warmed in a blush and she nodded her head. She was going to have whiplash before the night was over, yo-yoing between feeling like the old lady on the block to the giddy girl whose heart was a butterfly in her chest.

  They were immediately inside the club, the music thumping in a seductive beat. She was sure she recognized the strains of Lady Gaga. She looked up at Apollo and noticed he was wearing rimless glasses.

  She gave him a questioning glance. Somehow, those chic glasses made his hair look even better. The dark of the arms lost in the feathered sides of his hair struck her as incredibly sexy—made her want to push her hands through it.

  Rather than moving away from her or offering to get her a drink, he pulled her closer and fell in step with the music. A god who could dance, another slash in the plus column. Or maybe it was the minus column. They way their bodies undulated together to the thrumming of the music made her want to see what his other moves were like. Until she remembered seeing him and Thanatos making cosmic mud pies in the yard outside the temple—Demeter making it rain so the mud would be pliable and Zeus with the breath of life animating their creations. The boys had laughed and giggled, burying their chubby fingers in the dirt.