“Why do I always need to think about others? Who will think about me, if I don’t?” Zeus demanded.
“That’s the nature of leadership. You’ve fathered all of these gods and goddesses, but have you ever really been a father?”
“What do you know of it? You’ve abstained from everything your whole life so you wouldn’t have to sacrifice it later,” he growled.
Abstinence couldn’t deny he was right. “Nothing,” she admitted.
“Why did I let you do this? What is it about you I can’t resist?”
“I don’t know. You’d be the first who couldn’t.” Abstinence pulled him to his feet and led him to the bedroom. “You sleep here for a little while. You shouldn’t be alone.”
She knew this had been traumatic for him. Part of her screamed this had been traumatic for her too. What about her? But Abstinence knew she had coping tools whereas Zeus had never had to develop any. This was where the detachment of her mortal job came in handy. Who knew Olympus needed a resident psychiatrist?
Abstinence felt his pain as keenly as she felt her own. There was something broken about his perfection that had called to her and now she’d peeled away that pretty outer shell and found a rotted husk on the inside, but she could still see the beginnings of the god he could be.
This was a dangerous path. She knew that well. Abstinence had long warned clients against getting attached to a “fixer upper” type. People weren’t like old houses one could flip and get back all they’d invested or even make a profit.
Healthy relationships came from acceptance and honest feelings for whatever qualities the other person already had on the table—not expected winnings at Karmic poker. Even for all of his selfishness and faults, Abstinence couldn’t help but focus on the god he could be and feel a tender pity for the god he was.
He’d lost a lot today and she’d tried to change the way he viewed the world. That was never easy, even when one wanted to see things differently.
“You shouldn’t let me stay here, Abstinence.”
“Why not?” she asked as she tucked his golden head against her breast.
“I’ll hurt you when I’m stronger. I hate you.”
He wanted to hate her, she’d give him that one, but he didn’t. Some part of him knew he needed what she’d done. He’d lived his eternity as a child and it was time for him to be a man. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have tried to warn her away.
The analytical part of her brain wondered if maybe he would do to her as he had to Prometheus—chain her to a rock to have her heart ripped out every day, only to grow back every night and see it done again.
Her only hope against that sort of punishment was that Fate would see it as excess and Abstinence wasn’t permitted any excess of any kind. She looked down at him as he slept and smoothed his hair from his brow.
This had been a lesson for her too.
She’d never before seen the purpose of what she’d become; of Abstinence. This was what she could do that no one else could. Abstinence realized it wasn’t a punishment, neither was what her power could do.
Abstinence taught that once on the roller coaster was a joy, but twenty would feel awful. That taste of chocolate on the tongue was divine, but too much led to sickness. Excess wasn’t to be coveted, but avoided. As was complete abstinence.
She’d been living on the wrong side of the spectrum too. She’d been avoiding everything so she wouldn’t have to give anything up. Who lived like that? No one. People made choices to stop doing things that felt good, or tasted good, or they enjoyed every day to be enjoyed again later. To keep them special. Pleasure was like a word that lost its meaning when repeated too often, made your tongue and lips numb if one did it all at once.
None of the other gods and goddesses were named after their power—although some of their names had become synonymous with their power. She wasn’t Abstinence—she was Merry who only bore the mantle of Abstinence.
For the first time in a long time, Merry felt a glimmer of hope spark inside of her.
17
PERSEPHONE
P ersephone heard her cell phone ring for the millionth time that day and she reluctantly turned it off. She’d hoped with every ring it would be Hades calling to tell her he’d changed his mind—that he wanted her back and couldn’t live without her.
Word of her impromptu kiss with Thanatos had spread over Olympus like wildfire. Everyone wanted to know if it was true. A few gods had called to ask twice so word should have reached Hades by now. It had been a week. He should be seething in Tartarus over the fact some other god had dared put a hand on his goddess.
Still no phone call.
It was just as well. Persephone knew she wouldn’t be able to ignore his call when it came, so turning the phone off was for the best. Let him think she’d moved on. He was a bold god to take what he wanted. He’d done it before; nothing would stand in his way if he wanted her back.
She flopped back on the bed. Rolled over. And over. Only to sit up and flop again. This wasn’t doing her any good at all. She turned her phone back on and dialed Thanatos.
“No,” he said before she could get anything out.
“I haven’t even asked you yet. Do you know who this is?” Persephone asked in an accusatory tone.
“This is Persephone and you want me to come pick you up to torment Hades. Same answer. No.”
“Please?” she wheedled.
“You horrible tart. You don’t even deny it.” He gave an exaggerated and oh-so put upon sigh.
“Why should I? You want me to lie to you?” She didn’t think he did, but why would he want her to deny it?
“No. But it would be nice if you’d called to, you know, talk to me,” Thanatos admonished.
“I did call to talk to you. But about Hades. Pretty please with a kiss on top?”
“A kiss where everyone can see? What do I get out of kissing you? I’ve kissed lots of women, Seph.”
“What about a kiss that’s only for you?”
“What did I tell you about being a flirty little goddess?” he teased.
“It won’t get me in trouble with you. You’re one of the good guys.”
“Don’t be too sure about that.” His voice sent shivers down her spine.
Why did she like the bad boys so much? The more noble a god was, the less interested she was. She might as well put a sign on her head that read “Treat me like shit, I’ll follow you anywhere.” Persephone was starting to realize she’d needed Hades to take what he wanted from her. She’d been willing—it wouldn’t have been anything ugly—he knew her body craved his, but he’d still asked her. Offered her a choice and she’d been afraid—that choice, room to breathe, it gave her time to give in to her fear and to back away from what she wanted. Not a very feminist attitude, but he was a caveman sort. It was to be expected, wasn’t it?
“Well, I am. I’m very sure about that.” She drummed her fingers on her copy of Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff was a lot like Hades. They were both “H” names. She wondered if that had to do with the high levels of angst in their lives. “Are you going to tell me you don’t want to kiss me again? I know you liked it.”
“And how would you know that?”
Aside from the fact she’d liked it too? Gods, how she’d liked it. His mouth on hers had made her hot and cold at the same time, made places ache she thought only Hades could find and when she’d come home, she’d laid on her bed with her legs spread wide and touched herself, thinking of his kiss.
She didn’t feel the least bit guilty about it either. She’d imagined him doing the same thing to himself and thinking of her. Several of the poems she’d worked on with Eros came back to her and she wondered what it would do to Thanatos if she were to speak to him that way—if it would make him do what she wanted?
Persephone knew kissing her had turned him on, he’d pulled her into his lap and she’d felt his erection. He wanted her. Persephone wanted him too, lusted for him. Eros had told her that was natural, it was
okay. She could lust after one and still love another. Maybe Thanatos would take that in trade, her virginity. She’d wanted to give it to Hades, but he was banging some chick right now. She didn’t even know who she was because she couldn’t get to Tartarus to see for herself. So why wouldn’t it be okay for Persephone to do the same? Maybe Hades would even be pleased if she came to him with more experience.
She took a breath before she replied. “Because your cock was hard.” Persephone blushed and her whole body heated, but she got a little thrill from saying such a naughty word.
“Seph, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“No, but I want to kiss you with it and you want me to, so I don’t see what the problem is.”
“How do you know that my cock,” he emphasized the word, “was hard for you?”
“Don’t play with me, Thanatos.”
“But you asked me to so prettily,” he taunted. “Hot and then cold, typical goddess. First you want me to play with you and now you don’t. Make up your mind.”
“Wasn’t it though?” She barged ahead, wondering if her mouth was going to cooperate with her brain. Persephone would do anything to get what she wanted. “Weren’t you hard for me, Thanatos? Didn’t kissing me make you want to touch me?”
It made her want him to touch her.
“And what if I said yes?” he rasped in to the phone.
“I’d ask where you wanted to touch me.” Persephone leaned back on the bed again and splayed her hands on her stomach. She could imagine it was his hand so easily.
“Persephone, what are you doing?”
“I’m getting what I want. All the way around,” she confessed and trailed her fingers lower.
“At any price?”
“Any at all,” she promised breathlessly. “How does that sound? Do those words move you? Tell me. Are you imagining the price you want me to pay for your help? Are scenarios running through your mind to see what would test the boundaries of ‘anything’?”
“Stop it.”
“Why? I thought this was what all gods were after.”
“I’ll help you, just stop it.”
“What if I don’t want to stop?” She choked back a cry as she slid her fingers into her slit. Persephone had never felt this sensual. It was a heady rush to know she could wield such power.
“Persephone?” he asked in a strangled voice.
“Don’t you want to ask me what I’m doing again?” she asked as she struggled to even her breathing.
“No, I’m going to hang up and forget this call. You’ll thank me for it.”
“But I won’t. I’m so wet and all I can think about are your fingers doing this instead of my own. Wouldn’t that be better than a kiss?”
Silence reigned for a second that felt like eternity before he spoke. “Suppose I was there now, what would have me do, Persephone? Tell me,” he whispered.
“What I imagined after our kiss—your hands on me, inside me. Your hair brushing over the tips of my breasts as you work your way down my body. Your mouth suckling at all the places where I touched myself. Even your cock, so hard inside of me. I know it will hurt, but I want it.” She gasped as the sensation roiled through her. Persephone loved telling him this—not only for what it did to her, but she knew intrinsically he was as affected as she.
“You don’t want to give your virginity to someone you don’t love.”
“Why not? It would feel so good. Tell me, Thanatos, aren’t you touching yourself now?”
“If I was, what would you say?” His voice was low.
“I’d ask if I could watch—if I could look into your eyes while you come and know you were thinking about me. I watched Hades all the time. I asked him to show me how to help him. I’ve even tasted him in my mouth.”
“Seph, if I was a god of another sort, I’d be there now, fucking you hard and fast with no care to how you’ll feel about it later. You can’t play these games with just anyone.”
“I know. That’s why I’m playing them with you.” She cried out again as her release built, but flagged. “Please, Thanatos.”
“Please, what?”
“I—I—,” she struggled to speak, but flicked her fingers faster over her clit.
“Please come kiss you? Or please kiss you until you come?”
She mumbled something unintelligible and she knew she’d lost control of the game, but she didn’t care. Persephone just wanted his hands on her, his mouth. Anything to break the sensation building inside of her.
Demeter had a ward against teleporting into her daughter’s room, but Thanatos was suddenly outside her window, his palm spread across the glass.
Persephone was very aware of herself in that moment, the way her breasts were exposed in the unbuttoned nightshirt she wore. He could see her through the window, her hand between her own thighs. Once upon a time, she would have been embarrassed to be caught in such a state, but seeing his eyes flash from the black endlessness of death to the purple of the dawn told her he liked what he saw.
She stopped her caress and opened the window for him; the cool air caused her nipples to tighten further. Persephone didn’t stop him when he reached out to cup the heavy globe. The hands of Death weren’t cold and unfeeling at all and the heat of his skin on hers intensified the ache in her core.
He took her phone from her hand and dropped it on the floor with no care to where it fell. Persephone braced her hands on his shoulders and his hands moved to her bare hips.
“Now what? Tell me, Persephone. Can you use your tongue boldly now that I’m here in front of you?”
“Oh yes, Thanatos.”
“And that’s who I am to you?” He raised her leg around his waist and stroked the velvet entrance to her channel. “You know who touches you? I’m not Hades. I won’t ask if you’re sure. I’ll just take what you’ve offered me.”
“You’re asking me now.”
“No, I’m not. I want to be sure you know it’s my cock that breaks your maidenhead, my tongue and my fingers that make you come as you’ve demanded. That it’s the kiss of Death you’ve begged for.”
“Yes, Thanatos.” She dropped down to the bed and reached for the grinning maw of the Venetian carnival skull belt buckle he wore.
He didn’t stop her as Hades had, didn’t cater to her maidenly fears. Thanatos was all hard demanding god. She pulled his mesh shirt from the waist of his black fatigues and was amazed to find his skin was silver everywhere.
“You’re beautiful,” she said, unable to look away from the starshine.
“As beautiful as your precious Hades?” he asked coldly, his voice at odds with the fire in his touch.
“Yes,” she admitted. It was the truth. He was every bit as dark, dangerous and brutally sexy as the Lord of the Underworld. His flesh was as pleasing to her—although maybe that was a lie. His flesh pleased her more. Whereas she’d feared Hades, she didn’t fear Thanatos. She couldn’t think about that right now. “Help me?” Persephone tugged at his belt.
He looked for a moment as if he might say no, but she watched with fascination as he stripped for her. When he freed his cock, she licked her lips and surrendered to her desire to taste him.
She met his eyes over her task and took him fully into her mouth as Hades had shown her. Persephone bobbed her head down his long length and back again. She flicked her tongue over the head and then dipped again, taking as much of him as she could manage.
His hands were fisted at his sides and he stood stoic under her ministrations. The only evidence he was affected was the pre-come she could taste on her tongue. She wanted to break his control and have him spill his pleasure on her lips.
She applied more pressure with her tongue and closed her fingers around his shaft and stroked as she laved him. His cock surged and she was pleased with how fast she’d taken him to the edge.
Just as he was about to come, he tangled his hands in her hair and pulled her back roughly. “Not yet.” She licked her lips and his eyes darkened a
gain. “I want to see you, Seph.”
“You are seeing me.”
“No, like you promised on the phone. Like you were when I got here.”
Persephone was ashamed of herself, not because of what she’d done, but because it made her blush. Heat infused her cheeks.
“So dirty on the tease, but nothing for follow through?”
“I want to…”
“Then do it.”
He pushed her back on the bed, but his hands weren’t rough. Thanatos unbuttoned the few buttons on her nightshirt and let it fall open to his gaze. His hands followed where his gaze traveled and the intensity in his appraisal made her feel beautiful; powerful.
Thanatos took her hand in his own and pressed it to her sex. He worked her own fingers over her engorged clit and eased one finger inside of her until he hit her maidenhead. She bucked her hips against him, begging him to go deeper to give her more, but he refused.
She manipulated herself to the point of orgasm, but still couldn’t push herself over the edge. It hurt and she realized then what Hades had done for her by denying himself all of those times. She’d have to think about that later too, right now, all she knew was that she needed what Thanatos held just out of reach.
“Please.”
Thanatos eased onto the bed next to her and when she would have kissed him, he guided her down toward his cock. She didn’t demure. He held her release in his purview; she’d do whatever he wanted to get it.
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