“We were practice, Aphrodite. It was the same for Mori and I.”
“We’re a pair, aren’t we?” She sniffed again.
“I suppose we could drown our sorrows together. I don’t mind being the rebound god.”
“You’re not like anyone I’ve ever known, Aeron.”
“How’s that?”
“You accept everything so easily. You don’t rail against Fate, or wallow in your pain. You simply bear it because it must be borne. Hades was much like you, but he felt everything all the way to his bones. You… you simply endure.”
“I heard a rumor you tore his heart out of his chest.”
“I did. Because he asked it of me.” Aphrodite would never forget the proud god on his knees begging her to make the pain stop when he returned Persephone to the world above. She imagined that what she felt now was much like that. She’d released Ares to live the life he was meant to have.
“And if I asked?”
Aphrodite pulled away and looked up into his face, searching his eyes. She considered for a long moment before she spoke. “If that’s what you need to heal, then yes. I’d do that for you.”
“That’s good to know, Aphrodite. Thank you.”
“Did Morrigan hurt you that badly?” she asked softly.
“You could look and see.”
She shook her head. “No, that’s a violation. I won’t look unless I need to. Do I need to?”
“No.”
They sat in a companionable silence and Aphrodite found herself tracing the gryphon tattoo with her fingertips. A low sound that wasn’t quite a growl rumbled from him.
“Ah, Aphrodite, cariad. He likes that much too well for you to continue.”
“He?” she asked as his skin rippled under her touch.
“Y Ddraig Goch, the red dragon, and the protector of my people.”
“But he’s green.”
“When he sleeps. If you touch him again, he will turn red and climb from my skin either to do battle or to take a mate. And that, my pretty Aphrodite is something you do not want.”
She was intrigued. She couldn’t help it. “But he’s you. You talk about him like something different, a separate consciousness.”
“He is, in a sense. Like your Lycanos. He is a beast without higher reasoning leashed only by my will.”
Aphrodite’s heart was sore, but her body was lonely and this god flipped every switch she had. Especially knowing that a primal beast lived under his skin—Aphrodite was drawn to him. She lived with love for a long time, she knew that she couldn’t screw Ares out of her system, but maybe, just maybe, Aeron could make her forget for a little while. She shivered.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid now.”
“Oh no, Aeron.” She licked her lips. “I’m not afraid.” Aphrodite ghosted her fingers dangerously close to the tattoo. “Not afraid at all.”
“What you are is playing with fire.”
“So burn me.”
“Aphrodite, things have changed.”
She scrambled from his lap. “Are you serious? You were ready to come over and start a war just to fuck me, but now you don’t want to? Are you trying to make me feel worse, because it’s working,” she snarled. “You just said you didn’t mind being the rebound god.”
“That was before you awakened the dragon. He wants you.”
She put her hand on her hip. “Then I’m not seeing the problem.”
“It took me years to get over Mori. I’m not afraid of love, obviously, but it’s not fair to ask me to go into this knowing I could fall in love when there’s no chance of reciprocation on your part.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re… you’re…” she stuttered. “You’re a war god. You’re not supposed to… damn it.” Aphrodite stomped her foot.
“We’re all vulnerable to love. Even War. Two sides of the same coin, isn’t it?” he reminded her gently.
“What if I promise you that you won’t fall in love? What if I swear it on my goddesshood?”
“I think Fate would smite you for daring to make such a promise.”
“Why? Love is my realm and all things in it are subject to me. I have never had to work this hard to get laid.”
“That’s because I’m not that kind of god.”
“Why, are you sick?” She was genuinely concerned.
“For a goddess of love, you seem to be rather ignorant in the ways of the heart.”
But rather than be insulted, Aphrodite knew he was right. Too many years of trying to mold herself into what Ares wanted. Too many years of thinking he was the norm when the truth was he just didn’t love her.
“Okay, I’ll give you that one. You’re right. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act, or what to expect. But don’t you think I should learn?”
“Two rules. Don’t touch the dragon—”
“Never had a man or a god tell me that before,” she snickered.
He flashed a smirk. “Yeah, well, there’s the dragon. And then there’s the dragon.”
“So which one am I allowed to touch?” She gave him the most innocent expression she could muster.
“Neither one.”
She narrowed her eyes.
“Not on the first date.”
“You haven’t even asked me out yet.”
“Nope.” And with that, he disappeared, leaving Aphrodite more frustrated than ever.
“I should swear off war gods. I really should,” she muttered aloud.
She could call Poseidon. He was all about the manwhoring. He’d be the first one to say the way to get over one god was to get under another. She heard he did delightful things with that trident.
15
VIVIENNE
V ivienne’s power had never been stronger. When she awoke the next day, it was with the sun and all the green and growing things that surrounded her cottage were bright and verdant. Roses had even started to climb the trellis again.
And she’d never felt as guilty either.
She and guilt were good friends, but moaning Arthur’s name with her legs wrapped around Hector de Maris had to be the rotten jewel in a twisted crown.
Hector had to have heard her, but he made no mention of it, gallant creature that he was.
She was wholly unworthy.
His words echoed in her ears.
“I’ll be your confessor, Vivienne. I’ll keep your sins.” When she’d confessed her sin, and that she didn’t and couldn’t love him, his words stabbed even deeper. “That’s my penance for lust. Coming on my cock instead of his is yours.”
She bit her lip and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to steady herself because come on his cock she certainly had and moaning Arthur’s name aside, she wanted to do it again.
Vivienne wondered if she could summon him to her door and—and then what? Demand he fulfill his duty? No. It happened, but it couldn’t happen again. Maybe it was time for her to finally confess everything to Arthur so she could move on with her life.
That was completely selfish. He could probably go the rest of his existence without knowing exactly why Vivienne had screwed him over. Her urge to confess was simply to allay her guilty conscience so she could finally move on.
But no, this was hers to bear. She’d wrought it, she had to live with it.
A loud banging echoed through her little cottage like gunshots.
She was both surprised, thrilled, and embarrassed all at once to see Hector standing at her door. Memories of the previous day washed over her yet again, how his strong hands felt roving her body, the way his muscles moved while he drilled into her, and the taste of his mouth.
Her cheeks were suddenly hot and she felt like a maiden again—the sensation completely at odds with the dirty thoughts she currently indulged.
“Hello,” she said, her hair falling across her cheek.
“Are you well then, Vivienne?”
“Fully restored, thank you.” Goddess, how pathetic was that? She’d just thanked him for shagging her.
An awkward s
ilence crashed between them like a meteor, but neither would mention it.
“Would you like to come in for some apple ale?” She held the door wider, trying not to stare as the sun’s rays seemed to halo him and glint off his golden hair.
How had she missed it? Hector de Maris was more beautiful than any of the gods she’d ever seen on Avalon. This had to be a dream. Hector couldn’t possibly want her. When he said he’d lusted, maybe he lusted for another and he thought—
“I’d like that very much.”
His voice short-circuited the route of rational thought and she stood there, dumbstruck.
This had to be some kind of spell. Her reaction to him wasn’t natural. In all the years they’d been on Avalon, she’d never noticed him like this.
She fumbled around until she found the ale and using her magick, she chilled it at just the right temperature before handing him the bottle. Vivienne made it herself from Avalon’s apples.
He took a long pull off the bottle and she was mesmerized by the movement of his mouth against the lip, the way his throat worked as he swallowed. “The best ale in the world is made on Avalon by your hands, Vivienne.”
The heat in her cheeks intensified. “And who else’s ale have you been drinking to know that, Sir Hector?” She tried to sound like she was admonishing him, but it came out sex-kitten deluxe instead.
“Everyone’s.” He winked and if she’d been wearing panties, they would’ve melted right off her. “Lance and I used to party with Dionysus. He’d pick us up and we’d go on a mortal pub crawl from Ireland to Santa Monica.”
“Really? For some reason, I thought you’d never left Avalon.”
“That was the image I wanted you to have of me, Vivienne. I’m glad all my hard work paid off. I wanted to be the best and brightest of your guard. I thought you’d notice me.”
The smile he wore pained her. It wasn’t really a smile, but more of an expression of hopeless acceptance. What had she done?
“I used to be angry with you.”
Rather than be offended, Vivienne accepted she’d done him a great wrong. She knew that. By ignoring her guard, she’d not provided them with what they needed either. She could see that now. “What else did I do besides neglect my duty?” Vivenne asked softly, inviting him to release his burden.
“I was still a child then. I had these grand dreams that when I joined your guard, you would choose me as you did yesterday. I was angry when you didn’t and I betrayed my vows every time I left Avalon.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” She considered all the feelings that roiled through her and she realized this was a similar situation to what transpired between her and Arthur.
“Because you finally did choose me and I wasn’t worthy. That’s really why I came. I wasn’t pure. I wanted to make sure there were no ill effects and your magic wasn’t corrupted.”
She laughed and it was a cold, bitter noise that erupted from an icy place inside of her. “Oh, Hector.” Vivienne reached up to touch his cheek. “If anyone is corrupt or unworthy, it’s me. I coveted and lusted too. I sinned. In punishing myself, I was punishing you. I didn’t acknowledge or accept your sacrifice or your service. Can you forgive me?”
His large hand closed over her wrist and he turned his face into her palm. Vivienne was humbled by the action. She felt very small and feminine, but infinitely powerful at the same time.
“Only if you forgive yourself,” he answered.
“I don’t know how.”
“Start by acknowledging that even though you are the venerable Lady of the Lake, you’re still a woman.” He dropped her hand. “Even the goddesses who come here on holiday admit that.”
“I think I admitted that very well yesterday.” She pursed her lips as a blush crept over her cheeks.
“No, you didn’t. You denied it like it was something dirty. You are the Lady of the Lake, not a Catholic nun. You didn’t marry your god, you love him in a much more earthy way. And you were meant to.”
“Couldn’t you apply the same reasoning to yourself?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I took a vow to remain chaste and I did not.”
“I release you from that vow, Hector.” As she said the words, something inside of her changed. It hurt.
“Then I vow it again, because I am the last. There is no male energy to feed you, Lady, without it.” Hector fell to his knees. “Will you have my vow?”
“No,” Vivienne cried. “It’s—” Wrenching pain twisted her gut.
“I am the last, there cannot be ying without yang. I know I’m not worthy, but I’m all that’s left.”
Goddess, how could he think he was unworthy?
Because that’s what you’ve taught him with your neglect.
Another wave of pain washed over her, like her bones were trying to climb out of her skin. She’d only ever felt this once before and that was when she’d risen from initiate to Lady of the Lake.
In her guilt, she’d neglected her duties to everyone. How could she ever begin to forgive herself? These were her transgressions, not feelings for a man who didn’t return them.
If anyone was unworthy, it was Vivienne. She had not served her office or the people who depended on her.
A boom of thunder cracked and lightning struck, the small cottage burst into flames around them and Vivienne was consumed.
Electricity jolted through her and as it receded, it took her magick with it.
When it finally released her, Vivienne was Lady of the Lake no more.
16
ARTEMIS
A n exclamation of “son of a bitch” was certainly not what Artemis expected to hear after she kissed Bad Boy Extraordinaire Mordred Le Fey. Neither was him tucking her in to bed next to him like a five year old who wouldn’t be still for naptime.
Even worse was that she’d fallen asleep rather than demanding an explanation along the lines of: “What the actual fuck?”
And worse than that, she’d awakened to his fingers pushing her hair away from her face and she’d liked it. Not just enjoyed it, but had stupid thoughts about how she wouldn’t mind waking up like this for the rest of her existence.
Bad. Bad. Bad.
Apparently, he thought the same thing. “Son of a bitch,” he said it again.
“Look—” she rubbed her eyes “—you’ve got to stop saying that or you’re going to give me a complex.”
“You?” He blinked his gorgeous eyes. “I’m the one who was cursed yesterday.”
“Oh really?” Artemis rolled over on her side and propped her head up on her hand. “Tell me more.”
“It’s a right bitch of a curse, too.”
Artemis’s eyes widened. “Oh my Goddess! It was you! You’re the one who was the brunt of the curse that got Aphrodite’s toga in a wad!”
“Aphrodite is on Avalon?”
Artemis nodded. “She and Ares are on a break. So we decided on girls’ getaway.”
His eyes narrowed. “So why are you in my house and not in a cabin with her at the resort?”
Artemis considered for a moment. “Why don’t you tell me about your curse first?”
She expected him to balk, but he didn’t. “I may have played a prank on Vivienne that she didn’t care for, so to punish me, she cursed me to fall in love with the next woman I kissed.”
Artemis’s heart skipped a beat. “Well, I kissed you, you didn’t kiss me, so you should be fine.”
“Woman, I don’t know where you were for that encounter, but I most definitely kissed you back.”
“I didn’t notice. I was too nervous. That was my first kiss.”
“You know, this might not be too bad of a deal.” Mordred twined a lock of her hair around his finger.
“How can you say that? It’s horrible.” Except she was mesmerized by the way her hair curled freely around his flesh and she wondered what it would feel like if she could curl her body around his in the same way.
He smile turned predatory. “I know you’r
e here because you want me to be your first. It’s not a new ploy, although you’re the first one my mother has thrown my direction.”
Hair twirling aside, “Thrown your direction? Like I’m a fucking dog bone?”
“I didn’t say that and really, you have to understand, after centuries of being a theme park attraction, one tends to think of these things in a bit more callous way.”
Artemis supposed she could see it from his point of view. She hated feeling like all anyone wanted from her was to be the first to get between her thighs, like she had no other value aside from that.
“But this is good for you because when you fall in love with me, I’ll already love you back.”
All softer thoughts and empathy for him fled. “You’re a pig.” She tugged her hair away from his grasp. “You assume just because I may have wanted you to be my first that I’m going to fall in love? As childbirth is in my realm, as I’ve told you before, I’ve seen the difference between sex and love many times. One doesn’t always equal the other and nor should it. So you think just because you might have some skill in the bedroom, I’ll love you? Love is about more than pleasure. Did it ever occur to you that women choose you because you’re a throwaway?”
As soon as it was out of her mouth, she regretted it. That was a horrible thing to say, but his smug expression coupled with the assumption that just because she was a virgin she’d be arrow over quiver for him was ridiculous and insulting.
“Artemis, I have no doubt that’s why every woman chooses me. I’ve been a throwaway, as you so kindly put it, since my conception. My mother never wanted a child, she bore me because it was her duty to Avalon. When I brought down Camelot, the world had no other use for me. I was a throwaway, just as you said. Fucking is what I’m good for. I’m under no illusions about that, sweetheart.” He purred sweetheart like it was insult rather than an endearment. “And yet, the women who want my touch do fall in love anyway, for some fucking reason. They all think they’ll be the ones to fix me, the one I’ll change for.”
“That sounds miserable. I’m sorry.” Artemis couldn’t imagine living like that, knowing she wasn’t good for anything but sex. Or a weapon. An object to be used. That was why she’d wanted to stay a virgin forever. She wanted someone to see her value past a womb. And now she was doing the same thing to someone else.
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