“Relationship goals,” Aphrodite said with a sigh as the couple left.
“So about that Kraken…” Morrigan prompted.
“Who knows? You can ask him about it on your date tomorrow,” Hera said.
“It’s just pizza.” Morrigan bit her lip. “Although, he has invited me to go swimming with a mermaid tail.”
“That’s so cool. I would love to do that!” Aphrodite gasped. “I am so jealous right now.”
“You could come with.”
“I…Was that a proposition?” Aphrodite asked her.
Morrigan laughed. “No, but hey… why not? I mean, if a love triangle is good, the more the merrier, right?”
Aphrodite laughed. “You know, I wish we could’ve been friends before. It would’ve made things so much easier.”
“I’ve never been known to do things the easy way.”
“You and Ares both.” Aphrodite winked at her.
Morrigan narrowed her eyes. “Not everything comes back to Ares.”
“Are you sure about that?” Hera asked.
“Not you, too.” Morrigan laughed. She hadn’t laughed like this with anyone other than Ares in so long, she forgot what it was like.
Dagda used to make her laugh, when they first started seeing each other. Before he went sour with bitterness and despair. Before his light had been extinguished. She needed to find him. He was rotten, but there was something beneath that was still the god she knew. He needed her help. Not her anger. Not her war aspect. He needed the mother and the crone—the two aspects of herself she’d been denying.
They were part of the same pantheon. Maybe he was right, maybe by denying her own aspect, as she grew in power, she’d cast a shadow over his.
She had to try.
If she failed, fuck him, he could burn in the pit he’d dug for himself, but she had to at least offer him a hand up. It was up to him if he took it or not. She wasn’t quite sure how to do it though.
“Hera, you said when Hades’ heart first beat for you…”
“You want to know how I did it?” Hera nodded. “It was simple. I told it that he was safe with me. I held it close. And then, I offered him my own. Couldn’t get the damn thing to quiet down after that. Much to his chagrin.” Hera grinned.
She nodded slowly.
“So are you going to hit Ares’ brick with some love?” Aphrodite asked.
“Why does that sound like a euphemism?” Morrigan teased. “Actually, it’s not about Ares.”
Aphrodite stared at her for a long moment and nodded slowly. “I see. Dagda. You think you can save him?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s not so much about saving him as it is saving myself. That’s totally selfish, I know.”
“Not really.” Hera shook her head. “I learned I had to save myself before I could save Hades. We ended up saving each other, but I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for with this guy.”
“No, I just realized that denying myself might’ve affected my pantheon.”
“That still doesn’t excuse what he did, but it’s generous of you to even consider it.” Aphrodite nodded.
“So what did he do?” Hera asked.
“You haven’t heard?” Morrigan asked.
“Well, we thought we’d let you tell it,” Hera said.
Morrigan shrugged. “Everyone knows. Whatever.”
“That’s how it is on the Lane,” Aphrodite explained.
“Yeah, it’s that way with my pantheon, too.”
Charon grumbled and Jean Pierre began their deep-conditioning treatment.
“You don’t think that maybe that’s why Poseidon is going to unleash Fred, do you?” Charon said.
Hera’s eyes widened. “Maybe.”
Aphrodite nodded. “That would make sense. That would be why Corvinus ditched you for Ares.”
“After I just got done telling Ares I don’t need to be saved?” Morrigan growled.
“You can’t really blame any of them, if that’s what they’re up to.” Aphrodite patted her again. “They only want to protect you the same as you’d want to protect them.”
Aphrodite was right. She’d do anything to protect those she loved, even if they thought they didn’t need it.
“It’s annoying that you’re right all the time,” Morrigan said.
“I’m only right when it comes to other people. When it’s in relation to myself, I can’t see the forest for the trees.”
“Redwoods, really.” Charon laughed.
Aphrodite nodded with a blush. “It’s true.”
“As it is for us all,” Hera consoled her.
Morrigan couldn’t help but think nothing had ever been more true.
15
ARES
“She’s so pissed at me,” Corvinus said.
“Well, yeah. She’ll eventually forgive you, though. Me, not so much.” Ares didn’t necessarily believe that. He knew that she’d forgive him one of this eons, but the time he’d have to spend without her might as well be eternity.
“If you weren’t playing hide the salami, you wouldn’t be fighting about it, now would you? I warned you.” Corvinus shook his head.
“You warned me? What was I supposed to do? Tell her I didn’t want her?”
“Yes.”
“Number one, she can smell a lie on me like a fart in a sleeping bag. And number two, it would have hurt her unnecessarily.”
“It would’ve hurt you, you mean,” he squawked.
Ares narrowed his eyes. “Of course it would hurt me to see her in pain. Sometimes I think you don’t really understand us at all.”
Corvinus was unusually silent for a long moment. “Maybe I don’t.”
It was the first time the bird had ever granted Ares might be right about anything.
“Let’s just go get Dagda. Poseidon’s in place?” Corvinus asked.
“Yeah, he’s ready to open the cage. Dagda is otherwise occupied with Arsu and Azizos.” Ares smirked.
“You look very pleased with yourself. Are you sure this is going to work?”
“Definitely. Arsu and Azizos are the Mesopotamian gods of the evening and morning star. Dagda is the Celtic morning star. They’ll drain whatever power he has left and he’ll be helpless.”
“Good. It’s what he deserves for trying to hurt her. I never liked him.”
“I’m embarrassed that I ever did.” How had he failed to see the poison in that god?
“Everyone makes mistakes.”
“Let’s not be hasty. If we apply that to ourselves, we have to apply it to Dick-da and I’m not in a forgiving mood.”
Corvinus cackled. “Dick-da. I like that.” He caw-cackled some more, sounding like an old man. “But wait, even powerless, we’ll still have to deal with him to get him to Poseidon.”
“Not really. He’ll be stoned on sex magick.” Ares paused. “So, how are you with this materializing thing? Do you get motion sickness? I don’t need vomit on my shoulder.”
Corvinus straightened himself and nipped at Ares’s ear. “Sir, I am offended at the implication. I’m a professional.”
“Just checking.”
They were transported to Gilgamesh Lane and Ares had to say he didn’t much care for the temples. Or the landscape. Everything was brown and rather dull. Except for the park that was really an oasis. A waterfall surrounded by greenery and fig trees… that didn’t suck.
It all used to look like the park and every once in a while, when the Necronomicon had another printing and a surge in sales, the greenery would come back for a while—as would the gods who hadn’t yet been lost to the sands of time.
Arsu and Azizos, though, were eternal. Their lust for life kept them fed and sated long after human beings had forgotten their names.
Ares heard laughter coming from the waterfall and he was pretty sure it was those two.
“Darling!” Arsu called and waved them over.
Ares approached and saw that they had Dick-da suspended in the waterfall, an ex
pression of pure rage on his face.
“Sucks to suck,” Corvinus cawed.
Arsu and Azizos laughed. “It does, doesn’t it?” They said together.
“We’ve always enjoyed Morrigan. It was a shitty, shitty thing he did.” Azizos shook his head. “You should be able to transport him through the water gateways to Poseidon.”
“With our compliments,” Arsu added.
“But I don’t get to peck his eyes out,” Corvinus complained.
“Sorry, buddy. He’s still getting punished though.”
“I guess.” Corinvus spread his wings to show his displeasure, then folded them against his back.
“You know she’d be mad at you if you ate his eyes. This way, you’re not in trouble. We’re not really hurting him. We’re imprisoning him so he can’t hurt anyone else. Even himself.”
“You seem to have forgotten Fred’s part in all of this.” The bird reminded him.
Ares shrugged. “There is that, but Fred’s lonely. See? Problems solved all around.”
“You know she won’t see it that way.”
“She’s already pissed at me. I’d rather have her pissed and safe, than slightly less pissed and still in danger.”
Arsu and Azizos leaned over and each kissed Ares on the cheek.
“Thank you, ladies.”
“Anytime, Ares.” They said in unison, as they did everything else.
Corvinus was about to put a fig in his beak when he asked, “Wait, can I eat this?”
“No.” Ares said. “It’s from another pantheon. The Lanes have their own powers just like the gods do. You wouldn’t want to be trapped here like Persephone was in Tartarus, would you?”
Corvinus sighed. “But it’s so plump and it smells so sweet.”
“All the more reason to let it lie, my friend.”
The twins reached out and stroked Corvinus in farewell. “Do let us know if you need anything else.”
Then they were gone as if they’d never been there, leaving Corvinus and Ares alone with their prize.
“We could still let him go,” Corvinus offered.
“You just want to peck his eyes out.”
“And his heart. Don’t forget his heart,” the bird said.
“No, this is the right thing to do. We couldn’t let his threats go unanswered, but neither could we kill him. Well—” Ares was thoughtful for moment. “—I suppose we could kill him, but being locked in with the Kraken until Poseidon sees fit to release him is pretty fair. He’ll learn a lesson. Or he won’t get out.”
“Sounds like you when you were ten.”
Ares nodded. “I spent from ten to fifteen locked in with Fred. Of course, since he’s my older brother’s familiar he didn’t try to eat me, but he didn’t play nice either.”
“Why did he lock you in again?”
“Because I refused to be responsible with my power.”
“But there was more than that.”
“Do shut it. I don’t need head shrinking from a corvid.”
“Uh, yes you do. And don’t forget the prettiest corvid.” He nodded his head.
“Are you really trying to get me to call you a pretty bird?”
Corvinus stomped around on Ares’s shoulder. “I haven’t heard it in a while. Come on. I am a pretty bird. You know she’s not going to tell me for a long time. Say it.”
Ares sighed. “You don’t hear me asking you to call me the greatest god of war.”
“That’s because she never called you that. Come on. Just once.”
“Fine. You’re a pretty bird.”
“No, no. That’s not how it works. You have to ask me if I’m a pretty bird.” Corvinus nudged him with his beak. “Ask me.”
“Who’s a pretty bird?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Kill me now,” Dagda said from his watery prison.
“Shut up,” Ares and Corvinus said together.
Ares held up his hand and the bird jumped on his wrist. “There you go, who’s a pretty bird.”
Corvinus turned his head from side to side, preening. “Me? I’m a pretty bird?”
“Yes, you’re a pretty bird.” Ares ventured a stroke to the bird’s head and Corvinus offered a low, trilling sound. Almost like a purr.
“That’s better.” Corvinus exhaled heavily. “Now, back to the situation at hand. How will Poseidon know how to get this dick-shit?”
Ares pulled out a gold coin stamped with Poseidon’s face. “Make a wish.”
If the corvid had shoulders, they would’ve slouched. It was as if the idea of making a wishing tasted like fecal matter on his tongue. So Ares tossed the coin in the water and it shimmered until Poseidon’s arms reached out and pulled Dagda down into the depths where he disappeared.
“Does Poseidon offer any extra services with this? Like Pay-Per-View?”
Ares laughed. “Maybe. We could ask him.”
“Remote viewing, if you please. I don’t like playing Under the Sea.”
“Doesn’t work for you?”
“I’m not a god. I’ll just drown until Morri comes to get me. No thanks.”
“Poseidon wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Do you want him to give you gills? I mean, that could be cool.”
“Would you want gills?” Corvinus threw back at him.
“Been there, done that. It was fun, but I don’t really need to breathe anyway.” Ares shrugged.
“I still don’t see you tooling around outside at Atlantis.”
“No, and why would you? The whole point of Atlantis is to get laid.” Ares shook his head and sighed. “But I don’t think I’ll be going back for a while.”
“Oh really?” Corvinus hopped down from his shoulder to perch on his wrist. “Do tell, soldier boy.”
Ares didn’t really want to spill his guts for the bird to pick at, but who else was he going to tell? “You know. Same old, same old. God meets goddess. God falls in love with goddess. God can’t have goddess.”
Corvinus nodded. “Go on, there’s always more to the story. Usually, that ending is what sends you to Atlantis.”
“No goddess, nymph or demi is her.”
He waited for Corvinus to laugh at him, but he didn’t. The bird just nodded. “This is true. There is none like my mistress.”
“Which is always why she was my best friend and I never allowed myself to feel anything else for her. She’s not even my best friend right now. I know it’ll be a long time before she’ll even want to look at me, let alone speak to me.”
“Are you saying you don’t deserve it?”
“I know I deserve whatever she wants to dish out. I never should’ve touched her.”
“You got that right, and I really don’t need another visual, thank you very much.” Corvinus hopped back up on his shoulder with a sigh. “It’s technically not all your fault. No one can be expected to resist golden apples. Or my mistress when she’s decided she wants something. I think she decided she wanted you long ago, but wasn’t willing to face it.”
“What do you mean?”
“She would always compare the gods she dated to you. They didn’t laugh with her like you did. They didn’t understand her like you did.”
Ares hadn’t thought it possible to feel even shittier, but he did.
“That shouldn’t get you down in the chops, son. It should make you happy.” Corvinus started grooming him. “I’m not necessarily thrilled, but I can see that you love her. She loves you, too. Stop being stupid.”
“But you basically said if I cared about her at all I’d—”
“When do you listen to me?”
“Now. Because you know what’s best for her. I’m too selfish.”
“Oh, Ares. I think we both know she can figure out what’s best for herself.”
“Um, excuse me? Aeron. Dagda. Hercules. No, she really can’t.”
“One more piece of advice from me, but you’re not getting it until we get back to your temple.”
“It must be a dick punch if you think I’m
going to leave you here.
“Covering my bases, Ares. You can’t argue with good strategy.”
Ares would admit he was right about that.
So he transported them back to Ambrosia Lane and inside his temple. He half-hoped that Morrigan would be there playing a video game or even with that glorious black lightning crackling around her fingertips ready to smite him. He’d happily take a smiting.
His temple was silent as the grave and oh so empty.
“Fine, so what is it you wanted to tell me?”
Corvinus hopped on to the back of the couch, checked his footing, then looked back up at Ares. “Here’s the thing. You are good enough for her.” He opened and closed his beak in rapid succession, as if he’d tasted something bitter. “Well, that was gross. I’m not saying that part again.” He shook his head and ruffled his feathers. “Anyway, you’re afraid of trying. You’re afraid because this is the one thing you want more than you’ve ever wanted anything else. You’re afraid you’re going to stumble and fail and when you do, then you’ll lose her forever because you never believed you deserved her. That’s not your choice to make. It’s hers.”
“It’s—”
“Not finished. You think if you make the choice for her, you can go ahead and feel a little pain and then tear it out of your heart so you never have to feel the bigger pain that you know will come if you lose her forever. Pull up your big god toga and handle your business. Don’t you think she’s afraid?”
“Morrigan? Afraid?” He rolled his eyes. “That goddess isn’t afraid of anything. Fear looks into the darkness to make sure it’s not The Morrigan under his bed.” He sighed. “I love that about her.”
“You’re a dumbass and beyond my help.”
Corvinus flew away, leaving Ares alone with his thoughts.
With his stupid, stupid thoughts.
He knew Corvinus was right. Ares was afraid, and how gross was that? He was a war god. He shouldn’t have any fear. Only bravery, only courage, only strength.
He thought about what Aphrodite had said to him about wars being fought for love and then about how Morrigan had given the advice about a Grand Gesture to prove his love to Aphrodite.
What kind of Grand Gesture would prove his love to Morrigan?
What if Corvinus was wrong and Morrigan didn’t want that from him?
Ambrosia Lane 1-3: Saranna DeWylde Page 59