by Lois Richer
Before anyone could say anything else he slid his arm around Kelly’s waist and led her toward the exit.
“What’s the rush?” Kelly mumbled, but she thrust her arms into the coat he held and walked outside with him. She walked back to the agency with him, never even protesting when he ushered her into his car. She was probably tired.
Ross turned to the cop who’d replaced Glynis.
“Officer, I appreciate your concern, but Miss Young and I are going for a drive and we’d like some privacy. Is that a possibility?”
The young woman stared at him for a full minute before her eyes flickered in understanding. “I think I can stay a reasonable distance away and still keep you in my sights, sir.”
“Thanks.” Ross drove out to the country club that Lindsay was so fond of, but went around the back way he’d used when tailing a cheating husband. He’d happened upon the most gorgeous view of Chestnut Grove and he wanted to share it. “Just look at this.”
“It’s a beautiful spot, isn’t it?” Kelly leaned forward to peer out the window. “My friends and I used to hike out here when we were kids and the country club was having one of its summer galas. We’d sit and watch the beautiful people in their gorgeous clothes and dream of how one day we’d be part of them.”
“Is that what you want? To be like Lindsay Morrow?” he asked.
“No. I saw something in her tonight that made me think of what you said after we’d been to that party. She was rude to her server, a nasty kind of rude that sent the girl sobbing into the back.” Kelly’s face was troubled. “I don’t like to see other people’s feelings trampled on.”
Thank You, God. Russ heaved a sigh of relief that he hadn’t misread her. He turned in his seat.
“At dinner you asked me when I was going back to Richmond.”
“And you never answered.” She stared at him. “Why?”
“Because I’m thinking of staying here, in Chestnut Grove.”
“Really? Why?”
“I want to be near Sandra, to be around when she finally comes out of that coma. And she will.”
“I see.”
“I like the community, Zach and I have developed a friendship. I haven’t let anyone get close for a long time and yet the people here—” He shrugged, trying to explain without using the words. “They’re friendly, generous, they accept me.”
“Good.”
She wasn’t offering him the opening he needed so Ross decided to be blunt.
“But most of all I want to stay so I can be near a certain woman who runs the adoption agency.” He reached out, tucked a tendril of her hair behind her ear, brushed her cheek with his knuckles. “She’s quite a lady, you know. She faces danger head-on, she goes out of her way to be kind and she’s always ready to hand out another cup of hot chocolate.”
“Ross—”
He shook his head, put his fingers over her lips. “Let me say what I need to, Kelly.” He swallowed. “I fell in love with you ages ago. I don’t know exactly when, but I think it was the day your car took out the curb and you climbed into mine and buried your toes in the carpet. You were so beautiful but so worried about being late for that wedding. I’ve never known anyone like you, Kelly Young.”
He picked up her hands, wrapped his own around them.
“The hardest thing I ever had to do was break up your world, tell you that you weren’t who you thought you were. I knew you’d love Sandra if you gave her a chance because that’s the kind of person you are. It was like hurting myself to watch you struggle to figure everything out while some maniac broke into your house, sent those messages, poisoned you. But every time you regrouped, grew stronger and pressed on.”
“Not quite true,” she whispered.
“Your faith stymied me, Kelly. I couldn’t understand it, couldn’t see how you could let yourself believe in what I thought was mumbo jumbo. But then I found myself wanting what you had, desperate to have that inner certainty that it didn’t matter if I fouled up.” He cupped her cheeks in his hands.
“When I found you in Sandra’s room, slumped over the bed with blood dripping on the sheet, I knew I couldn’t leave this place. Not unless you left with me.” He leaned forward, pressed a light kiss against her lips. “You’re part of my world, Kelly Young. The most important part. I can’t walk away from you. Not unless you tell me that’s what you want.”
“Are you crazy?” She looped both arms around his neck and drew him close, planted her lips on his in a kiss that told him he wasn’t going anywhere. “You’re like my knight in shining armor. Whenever I need help—boom! There you are. When I need a shoulder to cry on, someone to soothe my troubles or bolster up my confidence, I look for you, Ross. Your allegiance to Sandra, your insistence that I not hurt her—I loved knowing you were there for her when no one else was.”
“Are you saying—” He leaned back, frowned, unable to believe what he thought she was telling him.
“I thought private investigators were supposed to be intuitive.” She dragged a hand through his hair, loving the mussed up look that gave him a tough but tender appearance. “I love you, Ross Van Zandt. I didn’t feel I had the right to care about you so much when our faiths differed. Knowing you share what I believe, that God is as big a part of your life as He is of mine—that means the world.”
She pulled him forward, kissed him gently, tenderly, with her heart.
“You’re not going anywhere now, Mr. P.I.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t want to,” he assured her, drawing her across the seat to sit beside him so he could wrap his arm around her shoulders and hold her close. “I want to stay here, Kelly. But I don’t know if there’ll be enough work for me here.”
“Then we’ll have to pray about it.” She kissed his cheek then pointed to the gorgeous black velvet sky with its crystal display. “Let’s walk for a bit.”
“Will you be warm enough?”
She gave him a look that he couldn’t argue with. He felt the same—as if a fire inside his heart kept him warm.
“Isn’t it beautiful out here?” She twirled around. “I needed to come here, to be reminded that God created beauty and joy.”
She almost toppled over and Ross caught her, set her on her feet. Then he knelt in front of her, in the snow, feeling utterly foolish, yet somehow gallant.
“Kelly Young, will you please marry me and help me figure out what to do with the future?”
“I want to marry you, Ross. I really do.” She stood there, looking down at him, her face troubled.
Ross held her hands and shared her silence for a moment. “But? You’re thinking about Sandra, aren’t you?”
“She would be so happy about us.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “How could I not have told her I loved her? How could I have let the opportunity slip away? She was so wonderful and I never even gave her a chance. What if it’s too late? Maybe she’ll never—”
“She will, Kelly. She’s going to wake up with the giggles, she’s going to be at our wedding and she’s going to be there for our grandchildren.”
“How do you know, Ross?”
He rose, tilted her chin toward the sky, then stepped behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Watch,” he whispered in her ear. Several moments later a shooting star raced across the sky. “Would the God who created all this, who brought us together, who protected you—wouldn’t He expect us to trust Him to do the best for Sandra?”
“I hope so,” she murmured.
But Ross could tell she wasn’t totally convinced that something else wouldn’t ruin their dream. And somewhere, deep inside, he was worried about that meeting with Gerald.
What if…?
Kelly tightened her fingers around Ross’s hand.
“You’re sure you want to do this?” he asked as the doorbell of the Morrow mansion chimed their arrival the next morning.
“I have to.” She ignored the niggling voice inside her head that said this was not a display of trust and
pasted on a smile as the door opened. To her surprise Gerald Morrow motioned them in. Lindsay was not in sight.
“Come on in. I’ve given everyone the day off so we’re alone here.” He took their coats, laid them over a nearby chair. “We’ll go to my den.”
Ross perched on the arm of Kelly’s chair as if he needed to be near to protect her. “I suppose you know what this is about?” he asked.
“I can guess. But why don’t you tell me anyway.” Gerald sat behind his desk, his gaze fixed on Kelly.
“Yesterday I found some tapes and papers in an old filing cabinet at Tiny Blessings. They’re Barnaby Harcourt’s.” She couldn’t read the expression in his eyes so she pressed on. “According to him, you are my father. Apparently he was blackmailing you with that right until his death.”
“Maybe you even had something to do with his death,” Ross suggested. “Bad brakes, wasn’t that the official cause of the accident? Strangely enough, Kelly had her steering tampered with, too.”
“I had nothing to do with either of those!” Gerald rose, walked around the desk toward Kelly. “I know this is probably the worst way you could have found out and I apologize for that. I am your father. When I heard that the tests confirmed you were Sandra’s child, I knew I should have stepped forward before, told you myself.”
“Then why didn’t you?” Ross wasn’t cutting the older man any slack, but Kelly could see a sadness in Gerald’s eyes and knew there was much he wasn’t saying.
Gerald pulled up a chair so that he was facing Kelly. “I didn’t tell her for the same reason I didn’t marry Sandra thirty-five years ago. I wanted to keep Lindsay out of it.”
“Or you wanted to hang on to her and the money she brought with her into your marriage.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Gerald’s shoulders sagged. “I’m not sure I know what was in my own mind, except that I was desperate for her not to know about Sandra or you. So I paid Barnaby’s extortion and he handled everything. He told me you had been adopted by a couple in California. I never knew who they were, never dreamed you had moved back here. All I was told was that you were part of a happy, loving family.”
“I was,” Kelly agreed, ready at last to ask the questions that had bothered her for so long. “But that doesn’t explain how you could do such a thing to Sandra. You knew she’d changed her mind, you knew she desperately wanted her baby back. Yet all these years passed and you didn’t do a thing to help her.”
“I tried. When she came back here from Richmond, I could see how unhappy she was. She wouldn’t have anything to do with me but I knew I’d ruined her life.” He hung his head. “I was ashamed of myself. I went to Barnaby, begged him to get you back. He wouldn’t do it. Instead he hit me up for even more money, threatened to tell Lindsay the truth if I didn’t make regular payments.”
“And after he died, things had quieted down, and you surely didn’t want me opening them up again,” Ross said. “So you broke into Tiny Blessings and tried to get a look at the files.” His scathing tone made Kelly squirm.
“No.”
Ross ignored him. “And when that didn’t work, you started a fire in the place.”
“No! I didn’t do that. I heard about it, of course.” Gerald’s eyes begged them to understand. “I knew someone was up to something, but I swear to you that it wasn’t me.”
“Then who? Who else had the motive or cared?”
“I don’t know.” Gerald turned to Kelly. “You have to believe me. From the day he announced he was trying to find Sandra’s biological child and that it was between you and Ben Cavanaugh, I knew you were my daughter. I knew Sandra’s child was a girl.”
“Then why didn’t you contact me? Why didn’t you say something?” she asked, half-afraid to hear the answer.
“I wanted so badly to go up to you and tell you who I was, that I was proud of everything you’d become, that I knew I didn’t deserve it, but I wanted to get to know you better.” He shook his head. “But I’d seen you with your parents. They were so important to you. I remember their funerals, how broken up you were. How could I expect you to accept me after having a father like Marcus?”
“Did you know that Kelly’s been the target of someone’s maliciousness? That her house has been burglarized, her food poisoned? That she’s been personally attacked?” Ross wasn’t letting Gerald off the hook so easily.
As she watched him interrogate the older man, Kelly gained new perspective on his abilities as a policeman. This same demeanor must have come in handy with rebellious teens in New York.
“I didn’t know,” Gerald gasped. “I didn’t know any of that! I heard about the agency being broken into, of course. Anyone can see the window’s gone. But attacked—?” He stared at Kelly. “Who would do such a thing? And why?”
“That’s what we’d like to know.”
But Kelly realized she didn’t care if she ever knew who. Now she only wanted the answer to one question.
“How could you do it?” she whispered. “How could you give away your own child? How could you do that to Sandra?”
“Fear,” Gerald told her simply.
“I don’t understand.” She frowned at him, tried to make the pieces fit. “What would you have to be afraid of?”
“Exposure, condemnation, reprisals. I knew my affair with Sandra was wrong, I knew I wasn’t going to marry her, that I only set her up in Richmond to keep her out of the scandal. I knew the people in Chestnut Grove wouldn’t want someone like that representing their town.” He leaned forward, his face intent. “I was centered on my career, Kelly, on how I could make it as a prosecutor. And I had political aspirations even then. I had to ensure that nothing interfered with my goals—not you, not Sandra, not even Lindsay. I know it was wrong but at the time I was blind to everything except my own goals.” He half smiled. “You’re my daughter, Kelly. Surely you must understand the need to control your life, to make things happen the way you want them to.”
His words were like a knife to her heart because in that moment Kelly understood exactly what he meant. Controlling, manipulative—they weren’t only Gerald’s faults. She’d done it, too. Maybe she hadn’t coerced someone into giving up her baby, but she’d refused to handle that case last week, wouldn’t allow herself to become embroiled in a tough situation that might reflect badly on her, a case where the daughter wanted to give up her child for adoption and the mother wanted her to raise him. Why had she turned them away with some platitude instead of digging in and doing her best to help, if not to protect her reputation?
Because she couldn’t foresee the outcome, because she would have had to become too personally involved.
In a flash Kelly saw what she’d missed for so long. She’d never really allowed herself to participate fully in life, she’d always held back a little, never fully committed to anything, Ross included, because the same fear that governed Gerald’s actions also controlled her. Subconsciously or not, she knew that part of her was keeping a door open just in case it didn’t work out between her and Ross, just as she’d done with Simon. She wasn’t expecting God to give her the best, she was preparing for the worst!
“Kelly?”
“I’m fine,” she reassured Ross, squeezing his hand. “I’m really fine. Just working it through.”
“I guess I’m a slow learner, Kelly. Because it took me a few years to realize that all that I’d achieved didn’t matter in the slightest when I looked into Sandra’s eyes and saw the hurt and pain I’d caused. I was a big man, all right, but only in my own eyes.”
The room was silent for several moments, though deep inside the house somewhere, a floor creaked.
“I apologize to you, Kelly. I had no right to do what I did. I’ll say that to Sandra, too. It’s time to stop trying to cover up the truth. The mayor,” he spat out angrily. “Who cares about that when you’ve lost years of getting to know your own child?” He reached out, covered her hand with his. “What does any of it matter anymore?”
“It ma
tters to me.” Lindsay Morrow stood in the doorway, a small gun in her right hand. “Isn’t this touching father-daughter reunion special! But I worked hard to achieve the status we enjoy in this town and I’m not prepared to let you ruin it with some maudlin fatherly sentiment. You were always weak, Gerald.”
“Lindsay, what are you doing?” Gerald drew away from Kelly, turned toward his wife. “Put that gun away before someone gets hurt.”
“Before someone gets hurt?” She chuckled loudly but it was a hollow motion. The intensity came from her blazing eyes. “I think it’s a little too late for that, don’t you, Kelly?”
“What do you mean?” She’d never seen Lindsay Morrow like this, fury radiating from somewhere inside her. “What are you saying?” she whispered as a thousand scenarios filled her mind.
“Tell me, my dear, are you completely off milk now?”
That voice, she knew that voice!
“How do you—” Kelly stopped, stared. “It was you. You put the arsenic in my food.”
The woman she’d admired for so long nodded, her face shining with glee.
“That and so much more. You truly have no idea of the lengths I’ve had to go to in order to rectify my husband’s little mistake with the diner floozy.”
“You knew?” Gerald frowned. “But—”
“Not everyone is as stupid as you, Gerald. Of course I knew. From the very beginning. Did you really think you could hide it from me?”
“That’s when you started to change,” he remembered. “Before that you were so sweet, so loving and giving.”
“And to repay me, you had an affair.”
“It wasn’t on purpose. It just…happened.”
“So did she.” Lindsay jerked her hand toward Kelly, aimed the gun directly at her. “You weren’t even bright enough to tell Barnaby no when he kept sucking a fortune out of us. Well, when I found out I soon made sure he didn’t collect any more of my money.”
“Lindsay, what are you saying?” Gerald blanched.
“You had some shady pals before I got you that prosecutor’s position, darling.” She shrugged, tossed her hair back. “I simply hired one of them to end Barnaby’s extortion. Well, that and the diner fire.”