And when it was morning, he rolled over in the bed to look at her, surprised she was asleep. He thought she’d been pretending, just as he had. But then, she didn’t have the matter of a persistent erection keeping her up. It’d probably been easy for her.
All right. He had managed to drift off to sleep a couple of times, but then he had all sorts of dreams, dreams inspired by Lord Edon’s book. And that provided him with very little rest. He hadn’t expected such a thing to happen when he came to this bed. He thought it’d be easier to resist her than it turned out to be. But now he understood what the scullery maid at his estate meant when he overheard her tell the cook that the butler had no control over his baser desires.
Despite his discomfort, he was glad he hadn’t given into the urge to try anything with her. She was obviously skittish about the whole thing. Maybe all ladies were like this on their wedding night. Having never been married before, he had no idea if all gentlemen went through this or not.
Perhaps Lord Edon’s book could shed some light on the matter. He hadn’t taken the time to read through everything in it. Things pertaining to the emotional needs of ladies held little interest to him, something he should probably correct at once. Obviously, Melissa needed to feel she could like him enough to be with him intimately. Well, he’d get started on that section today.
He continued watching her until he decided he couldn’t hold off on tending to more personal matters anymore. Maybe she was the type who slept in late. He always woke up early, regardless of how much sleep he’d had the night before. And while she was pleasant to watch when she wasn’t arguing with him, this activity could only hold his interest for so long.
So he got out of the bed and went to his bedchamber. He summoned his new valet and got ready for the day. One thing he enjoyed immensely since getting her money was the ability to have a valet. It was rather nice to be pampered. He wondered if she took it for granted that she had a lady’s maid at her disposal. Probably. She was used to it. This was how things had always been for her.
Well, one thing he’d set about doing before he went to the estate was getting lady’s maids for his mother and sisters. They’d like that, he was sure. And his brother could use the help of a valet. Then his mother would get some much needed rest. Yes, there were many good things money could provide. He should have married a wealthy lady sooner.
Once he was dressed and groomed, he ate his morning meal then went out to find reputable lady’s maids and another good valet.
On his way to do this task, he happened to spot Lord Waxman accompanying a Miss Willis with her mother. His eyebrows raised in interest. Well, it didn’t take Lord Waxman long to get over Melissa, if he really was in love with her to begin with. He fancied her, Logan supposed. But he sensed the gentleman’s interest didn’t go beyond that. Though Logan had to admit, his interest wasn’t any more honorable. All right. It was less honorable. But at least he was honest about it.
Logan tried to avoid the temptation to approach Lord Waxman. Really, he did. But he caught sight of Saint Waxman glancing appreciatively at the mother’s backside as the two ladies got into the carriage.
“May I have a word with you?” Logan called out.
Lord Waxman glanced over at him, eyebrows furrowed. “What about?”
“Flowers.”
“Flowers?”
“Yes. You know. Those things that need to be cherished in order to bloom.” It took all his willpower to say that without laughing. Truly, it was still one of the most ridiculous things he’d ever heard in his life.
“Ah, I see.” Lord Waxman turned to the two ladies. “I’ll only be a moment.” He followed Logan to an area of the sidewalk that was deserted then asked, “What is this about?”
“I couldn’t help but notice how quickly your affections for Miss Jasper vanished.”
“What did you expect me to do? Spend all my remaining days pining for her?”
“No. That would be foolhardy. But she only married yesterday, and you were acting as if your entire world had come to a horrible end when she ceased to be yours. I thought the least you could do was mourn her loss for a month.”
“The Season isn’t long, Lord Toplyn.”
“Then do you plan to mourn the loss of her after you marry?”
As he expected, there was a flicker of hesitation in Lord Waxman eyes, and that told him all he needed to know.
“So,” Logan continued, “the fact that I took your cherished flower away from you is no real heartache after all. What you probably regret is having to go through the courting process all over again, especially in hopes of finding a financially beneficial arrangement. Thank you, Lord Waxman,” he said as he started to walk away from him. “It’s nice to know you’re not so perfect after all.”
Now Logan didn’t have to feel so bad about coming between them. Lord Waxman’s love for her was more of a passing fancy than anything lasting. Sooner or later, he would have gotten bored of her and moved on to a mistress. Maybe he did Melissa a favor without realizing it.
Chapter Fifteen
Melissa couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in so late. Logan wasn’t next to her when she woke up, and since she clearly remembered everything before she finally drifted off to sleep, she was assured nothing did happen, as he’d promised. So that was good. To be honest, she was surprised he’d kept his word.
He made it such a habit of doing whatever he wanted, regardless of her feelings, she had expected him to try something. But he hadn’t. And for that, she held him at a tad bit higher esteem than she had yesterday. But, it was only a tad. She wasn’t ready to blindly believe him quite yet.
Once her lady’s maid helped her dress, she went downstairs, fully expecting to find Logan lurking somewhere in the shadows, ready to pop out and annoy her. But he wasn’t. She checked all the rooms and didn’t find him anywhere. She even ate her morning meal, thinking he’d surely come out of hiding then. But he was still nowhere to be found.
What an odd situation this was. Last night, she couldn’t get rid of him. And today, it was like he vanished. She supposed she should be relieved. Maybe he was one of those husbands who rarely came home. Except…well, it just didn’t seem like he was that type of gentleman. Especially when he made it a point to come by her townhouse every day before they married.
After eating, she flitted about downstairs for a while. Finally, she went up to the butler who was giving the maid and cook their instructions for the day. “Where is Lord Toplyn?” she asked when he stopped to look at her.
“He had some business to tend to, so he left three hours ago,” the butler said.
“Did he say what kind of business he was doing?”
Now she’d discover the truth about her husband. Some dark and horrible deed would be exposed, and it’d only confirm she was right in being afraid to marry him. And when her parents learned of this deed, they would forever mourn making her be his wife.
“He went to find some staff to take to his estate,” the butler replied.
She kept waiting for him to tell her the awful news, but he only stared at her.
Finally, he asked, “Is there anything else, my lady?”
Face turning warm, Melissa shifted and cleared her throat. “Why would he need to hire staff for his estate? Shouldn’t he already have staff there?” As soon as she asked the question, she realized how stupid it was. Of course, he didn’t. He married her for her money so he could get things like that. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. Never mind. Do you know when he’ll be back?”
“He didn’t say when he’d return,” the butler replied, his voice turning kinder. “He only said he’d return as soon as possible.”
That could mean anything. Malcolm would say the same thing and be gone all day, but her father would say it and return within an hour or two. With a nod, she thanked him and went up the stairs. She supposed she could take this time to visit someone. She wasn’t particularly excited about seeing her parents at the moment. She wa
sn’t sure Malcolm would be much comfort either, though he’d try to be. And as for Helena and Chloe… Well, they saw the whole embarrassing wedding, and who knew what they thought of her because of it? Sure, they talked to her, but were they merely being polite?
With a sigh, she gave up on the idea of going anywhere. No doubt the Ton was talking about the wedding anyway. There was no sense in going out and dealing with the stares and whispers. At the moment, she had peace in this place, so she might as well take it.
She went about the upstairs, doing a casual inspection of the rooms, as she’d done with the rooms downstairs, except she didn’t enter Logan’s bedchamber. At least not right away. But the longer time passed, the less inclined she was to avoid his room.
Why was she delaying the inevitable anyway? Sooner or later, she’d go to his bedchamber. What better way was there, after all, to learn about him than by going through his personal things?
And so, after her careful debate, she proceeded into his bedchamber, only stopping long enough to make sure no one saw her. Then she shut the door to ensure her privacy. There was no need to let anyone else know she was here. It wasn’t their business.
Of course, the matter of getting her heart to stop racing was harder than reasoning this matter of snooping around her husband’s personal things. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. A moment passed and her heart finally managed to slow enough where she no longer felt it hammering in her chest. She opened her eyes and released her breath. There. Much better. Now she could focus. She stepped further into the room.
Well, there was one good thing about him. He cleaned up after himself. Or perhaps, the maid or valet did. But even so, the room was remarkably clean and tidy. There were only a couple of items in view.
His grooming supplies were neatly laid out on the table next to the dressing screen and empty tub. It was strange they weren’t near the mirror. She thought he’d be the type who enjoyed looking at himself as much as possible. But perhaps with the valet tending to those duties, he waited until he was ready to go downstairs before admiring his reflection. She shrugged. Whatever the case, she supposed it didn’t matter.
She went to his wardrobe and opened it. His clothes were neatly hanging on the hooks. Despite their immaculate appearance, she noted they weren’t new. She hadn’t thought to investigate whether or not he had any new clothes, but now that she did, she realized there weren’t any that were the current year’s style.
Her parents were so concerned she wear the latest fashions. They would be ashamed if she still owned dresses from even two years ago, though she wouldn’t have minded holding onto the pretty pink one she used to wear. Now that she thought about it, it’d be nice to have the yellow morning dress, too. But there was nothing to be done about that. They were long gone.
She closed the wardrobe then continued her search through his bedchamber. All of his personal belongings were neatly tucked away in the drawers of the desk in the small room off to the side of the bedchamber.
Delighted she’d found the more personal side of him, she paused and waited for indications that he’d come into the bedchamber. All was quiet. Good. If she hurried, she might find out what deep dark secrets he had, if there were any. Well, that was silly. There had to be something. He was a cad. Cads had dark secrets, secrets that would scandalize reputable ladies.
She hesitated at this thought. She considered herself to be a reputable lady. If she snooped in his personal things, could she still call herself a reputable lady? What nonsense. Of course, she could. He was her husband. She had every right—a duty even—to find out everything she could about him.
Once again reassured by this logic, she pulled the drawer open further and pulled out the first thing she happened to see under some blank papers. It was a ledger. She opened it and saw it was a careful record of Logan’s expenses. She couldn’t help but notice he had a habit of entering many wagers. Up until about a couple years ago, he won every single wager, too. In fact, he had amassed a small fortune.
But then, suddenly things were hit and miss. He’d win some but lose others. One would think he’d have the sense to stop, but he didn’t. And not only did he not stop, but he became careless by bidding more money, probably in hopes of reaping a large enough winning to compensate for his losses.
She frowned. His tendency to enter wagers wasn’t good. She tracked his habits since that night he kissed her and was relieved to see he hadn’t entered any more bets. She’d heard of gentlemen being foolish enough to gamble away all their things and really hoped Logan would stop betting now that he was married to her.
After she shut the ledger, she put it back where she found it then opened another drawer. In this one was a stack of letters. She debated whether or not to look through them since these were even more personal than the ledger. She could justify looking through the way he spent money. He was now using her family’s money to finance his lifestyle. That was her business. But handwritten missives sent to him? That was another matter.
She tapped her fingers on the desk. Maybe if she just looked at who was writing to him, she’d be all right. She had the right to know if there was a mistress.
Yes, that was sound logic. She picked up the stack of missives and set them on the desk. It only took her a minute to realize these were from the same people, and a little more investigating revealed they were from his mother and two younger sisters. She didn’t do more than skim them, but in doing so, she couldn’t help but notice Geoffrey’s name came up once in a while. From the sound of it, he required a lot of attention. She wondered if this was a young brother, perhaps around seven or eight.
She caught herself before she started reading through the letters in earnest. Now that she knew he wasn’t seeing a mistress or had any other shady dealings with debts, she had no need to stick her nose too far into his business.
She put all the missives back the same way she’d found them then closed the drawer. Next was the last drawer. She opened it and was surprised to see only one thing in it. It was a book, and what was more, the book didn’t have anything written on the front. There wasn’t even so much as a picture to let the person know what it was about.
Perhaps it was a journal. Maybe this was a place he wrote his most intimate thoughts in. Well, if that was the case, she definitely had a right to know what was in it.
She picked it up and opened the cover. The first page was blank. She turned to the next one and her eyes grew wide. How to Pleasure a Lady. She almost dropped it but managed to keep a hold on it despite her shock.
What could he possibly be doing with this kind of…of…? She couldn’t even bring herself to think it. This kind of book went against all sense of propriety. If he’d been a gentleman, he wouldn’t have this in his possession. But he wasn’t a gentleman. He was a cad. And this was exactly the kind of things cads read. But he had no mistress. None of his expenses or the missives indicated he had a need for such a book.
Unless…
No, that was silly. He couldn’t possibly intend to use it for her. Husbands didn’t concern themselves with pleasing their wives in bed. The only thing they cared about was getting an heir. At least, that’s what mattered to the titled gentlemen.
But if that was the case, then what was he doing with the book? Eyebrows furrowed, she turned the next page. This was probably more than she should be checking out, but she couldn’t seem to pull her attention from a book clearly intended for lovemaking. She’d been remiss in letting her mother explain the details to her when she tried, and now that she was married, she needed to know what Logan planned to do to her. She couldn’t use the excuse of her lady’s time of month indefinitely.
Despite the fact that she was alone, her heartbeat picked up and face flushed as she browsed through the book. The words themselves were bad enough, but it didn’t just have words. It had illustrations—detailed ones. She had no idea there were even sensitive areas on her body. She thought it couldn’t possibly be true, that there were places on he
r body that would give her enjoyment in the process of conceiving an heir. Getting an heir was a duty, and in her experience, there was nothing all that wonderful about doing one’s duty.
But as she continued scanning the pages, it seemed that not only was she supposed to enjoy the whole process, but she was also supposed to look forward to it. She honestly had no idea if that would ever happen. Whoever wrote this thing didn’t have someone like Logan in mind when writing it.
She flipped back to the second page where the title was and lowered her gaze to see who authored this thing. She didn’t know whether to grunt or roll her eyes. It was written from “a lady who wishes to remain anonymous”. Well, that could be anyone. It could be from a lady, or it could be from a gentleman who was pretending to be a lady in order to make other gentlemen think the things written in this book were accurate. And for all she knew, nothing in here was correct.
Well, she’d seen—and read—enough. She had no intention of letting Logan touch or kiss her in the way the book suggested. At least not today. It was still too soon. She figured the fib about her lady’s time of month allowed her two or three more days, maybe even four if she was lucky.
She put the book back and left the small room. There wasn’t really much more to see. The dark secrets she’d expected to find had turned out to be nothing of the sort. For someone who was supposed to be a cad, Logan was remarkably boring.
With a sigh, she went to her bedchamber to get her lady’s maid to help her change into clothes suited for leaving the house.
Chapter Sixteen
Logan returned to his townhouse just as Melissa was stepping outside. “My lovely bride!” he called out. “Mind if I join you?”
She stared at him for a moment as if he’d just asked the most ridiculous question a gentleman ever asked his wife. “You’ve been gone all morning, and now you’re asking me if you can spend time with me?”
Ruined by the Earl (Marriage by Deceit Book 3) Page 12