by V. F. Mason
My parents disagreed but didn't push.
Oddly enough, Remi pushed, sneaking inside the room and talking to me while I ignored his ass.
He’d show up every single day bringing games or books or even fucking movies, annoying me so much I finally asked for a restraining order. Obviously, my parents ignored that request too, but they did finally set boundaries.
Remi just laughed and still showed up one last time before he was escorted out by security.
Once I was out of the hospital, my parents hired so many tutors whose job it was to catch me up on everything I missed as quickly as humanly possible. I soaked up all the information I could get, because knowledge was power.
It took me two years, studying nine hours a day along with physical training to get in shape to finally be able to go back to school and only be behind by one year. I might have not had the best grades or knew more than the core basics of the subjects, but it was good enough to get into college. Plus, I still had tutors who showed up three times a week.
Through it all, I battled my cravings while thinking about Andreas every single day. I hired some expensive hackers who tried to track him but came up blank all the time, yet I continued to pay them to spot him somewhere.
They claimed he probably died, but I refused and still refuse to believe that.
I acquired a few weapons, wanting to learn how to use everything a fucking torturer has to offer, but no one wanted to teach a kid without a name. No way in fuck was I putting the Cortez name on the line.
Until finally I found a contact willing to work with me; he promised to teach me all there was about weapons, torture, and knife work under two conditions. I was never to see his face, as he wore a mask, and never to speak to him, since he stayed mute.
So once a month, we trained together, where he would find some rapist and let me practice on them as they screamed their lungs out. The man’s technique was so unique, so calm and interesting, that I was mesmerized and hated the fact that we could never talk about it.
Thanks to him though, I have everything I need to hunt and face Andreas, but the growing desires in my soul far exceed the teaching sessions. I want to hunt my own victims and build my own dungeon where walls will be permanently soaked with their suffering and blood.
Three knocks snap me out of my thoughts, and I glance to the door where Remi barges in, grinning and opening his arms. “Amigo!” he greets me, and then I notice his ripped black jeans and navy blue shirt sticking to his chest from sweat while his boots have traces of dirt on them.
His dark hair is made into a man bun. He wipes his forehead, which lets me know he was helping his father in the garden, since he still works for us.
Despite him drinking so much he could barely stand sometimes, because he can’t deal with his wife’s death, my parents keep him just so they can keep an eye on Remi, who they might as well have adopted.
They pay all his school expenses, his clothes, let him stay inside the house so he can study in peace without listening to his father’s slurs. It’s paid off though, since Remi has so many scholarship offers he can choose among the best.
They even gave him a car as a gift.
Not that he uses it or spends time partying around.
He either works in the garden or local store, earning himself pocket money. He politely refuses my parents whenever they try to give him money, because that’s Remi.
Fucking great guy who should never mingle with a monster like me, because my darkness will ruin him.
Taint him so much he might lose any chance of achieving all the dreams he has.
That’s why I still ignore his ass and never engage in long conversations despite his and my parents’ efforts.
Truth be told, I don't understand why he hasn’t given up like Florian and Octavius did, who barely spare me glances. They sure as fuck didn't try to preach to me about friendship.
But then I guess they still have each other, while Remi is a loner.
“I’m not your amigo. I don’t remember allowing you to walk in,” I reply coldly. I snatch my phone and cigarettes on my way and push past him to go outside, breathing in the fresh smell around me as I stroll through the garden to the main house, where my car already awaits me.
Today, I plan to finally indulge in my dark cravings, but for this, I need to hunt and change my clothes, which luckily the apartment my parents bought for me in town will come in handy.
“You’re still my friend. Where are you going?” he asks, unfazed by my words and marching next to me, matching me step for step.
“No es asunto tuyo.”
He clacks his tongue. “It’s my business, because—”
Anger sparks inside me, rushing through my veins, and bitterness fills my mouth when I spit out, “Why? Because my father ordered you?” Even though I know it’s a dick move, I can’t help the emotions hitting me and reminding me how Lucian can talk for hours with my friend and even laugh at whatever he says, but he becomes dead serious in my company.
And whenever he addresses me, it always ends up in an argument or a fight anyway, because neither of us know how to control ourselves.
His brows furrow. “No, he didn't say anything. I just want to know to make sure you don't plan to do anything stupid like the last time.” By last time, he means when I burned my car just to see my father all riled up, expecting him to finally blow up his stoic expression, but he once again took it all silently and just bought me another one.
Will I ever fucking receive an ounce of emotion from him besides anger, or am I now too dirty to deserve it in his eyes?
“Wait.” I’m about to step on the asphalt when Remi grabs me by the elbow and spins me around to face him, rage flashing on his face. “Is this why we are not friends anymore? You’re fucking jealous?”
Pulling my arm back, I push at his chest. “Don’t touch me, and fuck you. Who are you to question me anyway? I don’t want to be your friend. Stop fucking trying. When will you finally get it? You are nothing but a gardener’s son in this house. Know your place.” The words spill from my mouth before I can stop them, pressing the one button that’s always haunted Remi in school, as everyone loved to remind me he was no one important, and the only reason they stopped bothering him was because we kicked their asses.
God, I’m really a fucking asshole.
Remi steps back, disbelief crossing his face, and he shakes his head before laughing, although it lacks any humor. “Seriously? You are ready to go this low in order to push me away? It won’t work.”
And just like that, my anger is back, and I smile at him, although my eyes stay dead. “Careful, Remi. Your clingy ex-girlfriend act is starting to get on my nerves!” I shout the last part, and the fucker grins right back at me.
“Good. And let’s keep the verbiage accurate. My clingy friend act.” He bumps into my shoulder, his rage innately gone, but that’s him.
He lights up in a second and just as swiftly tones down.
A voice a few feet away interrupts my comeback to this nonsense; how can you be someone’s friend if you haven't been one in eleven years? “Ah, the lovebirds are fighting again.”
Counting mentally to ten to calm down, although it does little in this regard, I look at Florian standing near my car while his is parked in the distance. He winks at us, wearing a suit that hugs him like a second skin.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Hello to you too, Cortez.” He glances briefly at Remi. “Hey, man.” Remi doesn't bother to reply, but then again, they haven't stayed friends either.
Rumor has it Florian slept with Remi’s girlfriend, and Remi beat his ass.
“I’m here to finish the assignment so I can proceed with my plans and have a threesome tonight.”
“What assignment?” I ask, and Remi explains.
“That’s what I mentioned earlier. Principal Margaret ordered us to make a presentation on the four riders of the apocalypse as a punishment for our nickname.”
Florian elaborates on this idiotic idea, because it’s obvious I don’t know what he means. “She didn't like us destroying the cafeteria.” He chuckles. “Raged and screamed, to be exact, but your father took care of it. We do the assignment, listen to her crap in front of the whole school, and she won’t put it on the record, screwing our paperwork.”
“What happened in the cafeteria?”
“David made a comment to Remi the he shouldn't be in our school, since we don’t accept charity cases, and of course our friend here punched him in the nose.” He winks at Remi. “He’s good with his right hook.”
“Shut up, Florian,” Remi interrupts and continues the story. “His friends joined the fight, and Octavius rushed to my defense to help me out. It got messy.”
Florian puts his hand on his chest. “I couldn't stand not helping Octavius, so I rolled up my sleeves and beat some asses. Before security showed up, we destroyed a few tables, cracked a window, and some other shit that requires renovations. Your dad will pay for that as well.”
“What does it have to do with me?”
Remi rubs his chin. “The school kept on saying the dark four did it, started by the dark four, and shit, since you know they called us this back in the day. Anyway, the principal just assumed you were there, so you’re guilty by association.”
I bark a laugh. “Fuck that. I’m not doing this assignment. Buena suerte.” I already spend too much time in their company and hate how at ease and familiar it feels being surrounded by them.
Sometimes it feels like I can almost forget about my past and learn to live in the present, getting pleasure from this luxurious life, yet it would mean giving up on my revenge.
And I won’t ever do it.
Strolling to my car, I’m about to hop inside, when Florian’s words halt my movements. “She will kick Remi out of school. You know David’s dad and his power. It will affect his scholarship if it goes on his record.” I look at him over my shoulder while Remi still stands on the grass, locking his arms behind his head and musing on something, but not even making a move to change my mind.
No, Remi wouldn't do it, would he?
Too proud to ever beg, because everything in life he gets through hard work. Compared to the rest of us who were born with a silver spoon in our mouths.
Resting my elbow on the car door, I ask him, “Did you care about Remi this much when you fucked his girlfriend?”
Florian smirks, although disgust crosses his features, and so much hate fills his gaze it makes me pause, since it seems to be aimed at himself. “I’m surprised myself.”
I might be an asshole, but not enough to ruin Remi’s prospects just because David has a big mouth. I hope Remi broke more than a nose.
“Remi!” I call him for the first time since I came back, and his head snaps in my direction, shock evident on his face, and I motion for him to come to me.
He jogs toward us, and as he ends up next to us, I announce, “Let’s finish it quickly, and hopefully I won’t have to see any of your faces for a long time.” They’re graduating this year, so it shouldn’t be hard. I zero my focus on Florian. “Where is Octavius?”
“He should have been here.” He frowns, snatching out his phone and dialing him. A beat passes before he says, “He’s not picking up.”
Remi speaks up. “He went home after school.”
Florian dials again but has the same result; the tension between us rises, as probably a similar thought settles in our minds.
His stepfather has returned home after a long absence, and if he knows about what happened in school… repercussions might be severe.
With Octavius not picking up, we might need to act fast. My hands fist just imagining what he might do to him; the overpowering rage threatens to choke me as the itch to beat the shit out of the man who deemed himself invincible and hurt a child entrusted in his care. “We need to go to his house. Florian, ride with us.” His stepfather cares about image so much he won’t dare hurt him in front of us.
We all quickly get inside while I put a cigarette in my mouth, lighting it up and hoping nothing bad has happened and this stupid assignment will be the last thing I do together with them.
However, looking back on all the things that happened that night, I understand destiny was at work once again in my life.
We were destined to become a strong unit who can withstand anything.
A unique brotherhood of our creation.
And no dark brotherhood exists without blood on its members’ hands.
Briseis
After I finish sketching a horse on the white paper, I drop the pencil on the table and stretch my arms above my head, groaning when every aching muscle in my body reminds me I’ve spent hours in this position.
Although I have no regrets, since my drawing is almost complete. The last rider sits majestically on his black horse, ready to join everyone else in the party of destroying everything in their wake.
Flipping open the folder on my table, I slide out my previous three completed drawings and place them all in the right order.
Picking up my tea mug, I take a large sip and muse if this works for my upcoming presentation. Rebecca assured me I have creative freedom.
Although, after seeing my first sketch, she agreed with me it wouldn't work for the kids and was better to be presented as a separate art form. Besides, according to her, we could always work on the whole four dark riders title hanging over the guy’s head and bring more publicity to it.
Santiago’s mother was determined to give me every chance so I could exist without his help, which was weird in itself.
“We can only stay with someone if we have a choice. Otherwise, everything else is just a force or settling.”
Her words have rung in my ears for the last two months since that fateful night at their house when I gave Santiago a real chance, and nothing has been the same.
The next morning, we had a quiet breakfast where Lucian and Santiago stayed silent; it was obvious they couldn’t wait for it to be over. We were invited to stay longer, but Santiago refused, claiming I needed space to work on my art, and since I promised to be on his side always, I just nodded. While he still avoided his father like the plague, despite all our talks about how his parents were victims just like him, he wouldn't listen, so I stopped trying.
Santiago took it upon himself to show me Chicago, and we explored the city together, going to museums, restaurants, or just walking around in the park under the sky lit by thousands of stars. While home… we had sex on every available surface, and my cheeks heat up just from memories.
Although his friends didn't exactly welcome me with their arms open, they weren't hostile either, and we met them sometimes in the club or other places, which allowed me time to study them for my sketches. That’s how I discovered Florian was really hilarious, while Octavius could get obsessed over the smallest thing and do so much research on it one might think he was insane. I’ve barely seen anything of Remi who mostly travels here and there lately, and even when he joins us, he stays quiet.
All in all, it would have probably been all okay, and dare I say… the happiest I’ve ever been, if only my husband didn't sometimes go into the night and not come home for hours, or traveling places and never telling me anything. But when he came home, his whole entire demeanor reeked of dangerous energy that took me back to his dungeon, and I knew he’d killed someone.
Someone bad, but still, he’d killed a person and touched me afterward with a calculated expression, almost staring into my soul, as if he wanted to catch any disgust appearing on my face, or testing my boundaries.
And while disgust wasn’t present, the sadness in my heart grew as I understood he’d never truly change. He warned me, but women always try to believe in the greater good, right? That somehow in the relationship, a man will change for the better under different circumstances.
No! Men show us who they are from day one, and we should either grab him as he is or dump him.
I glance back on
my sketches that might be my ticket to a glorious life.
When I finally have a choice, will my choice be different? Will I choose to walk away rather than stay with him?
The initial blackmail he held over my head no longer exists, since Howard forged all the documents about me. He sold the mansion where his family lived, and after the funeral I attended, he moved to a smaller town, never to be heard from again. I tried getting my mother’s diaries to translate them or ask Santiago to read them for me, because he’s fluent in Latin, yet they told me at the bank that they no longer had them.
Howard must have destroyed them, the bastard!
Even though the cops asked me questions, they concluded thieves had killed them and closed the case quickly.
Santiago vowed to never let me go… but will he really make me stay if I beg him not to? The answer is probably yes, he will, because he is a monster, and it scares me too.
Can love flourish in my heart when my husband is my captor? How genuine are such emotions, and how much of it is just my psyche trying to protect me from dying in despair and instead urges me to fall in love with Santiago?
I might have created a bubble around my life, but sooner or later a needle will burst it, and then what will happen?
A bumping sound startles me, and my eyes fly to the terrace door several feet away.
I huff in exasperation when Leo bumps his muzzle against it again, his jaw slightly open as he sits on the grass.
Santiago’s personal pet or “companion,” as he likes to call him, has become the bane of my existence.
As it turns out, Leo stays mostly in a private zoo owned by Santiago’s friend where they take care of animals who have suffered from the cruelty of their previous owners and can no longer live in the wild. However, since Santiago found him as a cub, the lion has a super attachment to him, so he spends around a week here every month or else he gives the zookeepers hell. They run together in the morning over the property, then he lounges all day under the sun or sits by Santiago’s feet when he works or reads. Not to mention he loves all the expensive meat his owner brings him. I feel like an intruder in such moments and stay home, since the lion still gives me the stink eye.