by Sybil Nelson
"Could you please put the underwear away?" Josh asked for the fifth time.
"Sorry, Josh," Tai said stuffing everything back into her suitcase. "So, there's something else I forgot to tell you as well and it's big."
Great. What else could there be? What could be as big as boobs?
Tai took a deep breath. "I'm taking Spencer to the eighth grade dance."
Okay that was big. First of all, the eighth grade dance was a huge deal. Kids in River's Bend looked forward to the eighth grade dance for their whole lives. It was an even bigger deal for Tai since technically she was still a seventh grader. She was so smart though that the school had moved her up a grade. They wanted her to go directly into high school but she didn't want to leave all of her friends behind. The snobs in the eighth grade had basically treated Tai like dirt all year because they didn't think she deserved all the eighth grade privileges since she was still technically a seventh grader. They actually wouldn't let her sit with them during lunch. By letting her attend the eighth grade dance, it was like they were finally accepting her.
Second of all, it was a huge deal because Spencer Callahan had been my crush since the third grade. When he made it obvious that he was interested in Tai and not me, Tai and I actually didn't speak for twenty four days. It was a pretty low time in my life, but our friendship had survived.
"Whoa. Wait. What?” I asked
"Oh, you're mad aren't you? If you don't want me to go with Spencer, I'll go with someone else. I don't want you to be mad at me."
"No, I'm not mad. I'm totally over Spencer. I have Kyle now. It's just…I just didn't know you liked Spencer like that."
"Well, he's kind of grown on me, you know? He's been really sweet to me. You know he and Kyle put ketchup in Jimmy Vartanian's bicycle seat after he broke my calculator?"
I nodded remembering the letter Kyle had sent me.
"And he's been someone to talk to now that you're gone. And he cut his hair. His shaggy hair really used to annoy me, but he's much more presentable now."
Oh no, he cut his hair! That was one of the most adorable things about him. Wait a minute. What am I talking about? What do I care about his hair? I have a boyfriend.
"It's totally fine, Tai. I hope you have a great time. Take lots of pictures."
I stared out the window for the rest of the trip home.
Chapter 13: Bra Buying 101
Friday morning I came to the conclusion that I hated my life. I had no boobs, a boyfriend whose memory I had to erase, and a best friend who got to go to the Polk Middle School eighth grade dance without me. Well, there was at least one of those things I could change.
I decided I needed a bra. In my mind a bra would at least make my world bearable again. If Tai got to buy cute little bras with lace and hearts, I wanted to buy some as well. Who cares if I didn't quite have the boobs to fill them out? I'd heard something somewhere about training bras. Maybe that's what I needed. My boobs just needed to be trained to grow.
"Mommy, I need money," I said as my mother lay in bed in her darkened room. She still hadn't gotten over her headache.
"Why?" she groaned.
"I need…some feminine products."
"I have plenty in the bathroom. Help yourself." She put a pillow over her head.
"No, not that. I need..." Why was I nervous about asking my mother for a bra? Oh, I knew why. I was afraid she'd take one look at my chest and laugh. "I need shoes and a matching purse for my date with Kyle tomorrow." She didn't respond. "You're not my size," I added for effect.
She pointed to her wallet on the dresser. "No more than thirty dollars, okay?"
"Thanks, Mom." I removed the pillow, smoothed her red hair out of the way and kissed her cheek. She was really warm. I hoped she wasn't coming down with something serious. "Are you sure you're okay, Mom?"
"I'm fine. It's just a bug or something."
I wasn't so sure. For some reason, I thought back to how she looked right after I rescued her from the Selliwood Institute. The machine that stripped her powers had put her in so much pain and left her so weak that she couldn't even move for days. She was in and out of consciousness for at least a week.
I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek again. "I love you, Mom." As I stood up to leave, she grabbed my wrist.
"I love you too, Priss. No matter what happens, I love you."
I wanted to ask her what she meant by that, but she had fallen asleep instantly.
After grabbing the cash, I found Tai in my room.
"I gotta go out for a while," I said.
"Oh, where? Can I come?"
"Uh, I'll be right back." I didn't want her to come. It was a little embarrassing that I was about to buy a bra just because she had one. I didn't want her to think I was a copycat.
"Where are you going? I want to come." She crossed her arms. "No offense, but this farm is boring. And I can't figure out why Josh keeps staring at me. Is he trying to read my mind or something?"
I shrugged. "Probably." I wondered if I should tell her about Josh's vision that she was going to kill me. Maybe if she knew about it, she could help keep it from happening. But then again maybe her feelings would be so hurt she'd need her Rock Box. Whenever she was nervous or scared she pulled out her collection of rocks and took each rock out and replaced it one by one. It was the only thing that made her feel better.
I decided against telling her the truth. It would really freak her out. "Uh...maybe he has a crush on you. Maybe that's why he's staring."
Her eyes expanded "Really? You think so? That would be so awesome. He is soooo cute. He looks like a buff Jonas brother."
I gagged a little. That was my brother she was talking about. I didn't want to think of my brother as cute. "Look, whatever. I'll be back, okay?" She didn't ask me anymore questions as she was probably planning her wedding with my brother as the groom. Gross.
I left Tai with her thoughts and went to find the object of her affection in order to ask…well, beg him for a ride.
"Dad, have you seen Josh?" I asked my dad as he took apart a tractor. I don't think anything was actually wrong with the tractor; he just really liked taking things apart and putting them back together.
"No, why?"
"I need a ride to the store."
He put his wrench down and stood up. "I'll take you. I need to pick up spark plugs for the tractor."
A heat started to rise up in me. I couldn't let my dad go with me to buy a bra. How embarrassing. He'd blow it way out of proportion and probably bake me a celebratory cake or something like he did when I got my period.
At least I could tell Josh to wait in the car. He wouldn't think of following me into the lingerie department. My Dad would not only go with me, he'd probably want to make sure each of the bras came with a warranty or a pad lock that kept the boys out. "That's okay, Dad. I'll wait for Josh."
"Don't be ridiculous. Why wait? I have to go into town too. Just let me wash the grease off my hands and I'll meet you out front."
So that's how I ended up driving to Wal-Mart to buy a bra with my dad. Could my life get any worse? During the car ride I realized that if I could get my bra and get back to the car before my dad finished in the automotive department everything would be fine. As soon as he parked, I jumped out of the car and yelled, "I'll meet you back here in ten minutes," before dashing into the store.
It was a brilliant plan except for the simple fact that I had no idea how to buy a bra. I spent ten minutes just mesmerized by the selection. Was there some sort of class I was supposed to take to be able to tell the difference between them? They could call it Bra Buying 101.
Finally, a nice old lady with a tape measure around her neck came up to me and said, "Can I help you, young lady?"
"Yes," I said a little relieved that someone was going to explain things to me. "I need a bra. A cute one." Because to me, of course, there were only two types of bras: cute ones and not cute ones.
"Well, first we need to see what size you are. Raise
you arms."
"What?" I screeched terrified that she was about to rip my shirt off in the middle of Wal-Mart.
"Raise your arms so I can measure you." She held up the tape measure and looked at me like I was an idiot.
"Oh, right."
I thought I saw a giggle or a smirk across the old lady's face when she wrapped that tape measure around me. I'm sure she wanted to pat me on the head and send me off to the toy department or something, but I wasn't going anywhere. I was determined to get a bra.
"Well, sweetie, why don't we put you in a training bra? Follow me." She took me to a section of the lingerie department right next to where they held the Tweety Bird socks and Cinderella purses.
"Thanks," I said staring at the pathetically small selection. I flipped through boring white bras completely unaware of my surroundings. That is until I heard,
"Oh my! You're buying a bra?"
My shoulders slumped and my head fell forward at the sound of my dad's voice. This was not good. My dad wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the ground in a bear hug.
"My little girl isn't a little girl anymore."
"Please, Dad, you're embarrassing me."
"I'm sorry, Priss." He set me back down on the ground and said "I just can't believe how grown up you are -"
"Daddy, it's just a bra." I snatched a plain white one off the rack and started storming away. I hoped he would just follow me to the register. No such luck.
"Priss, that bra is so boring. I know you want something fancier." He picked a pink one off a nearby rack, held it up and said, "This one's adorable. Why don't we get this one?"
I put my head in my hands. "Kill me now."
"Oh, what about this one?" he said reaching for one two racks away. Unfortunately, the lingerie department at Wal-Mart isn't designed for giant football player sized men. My dad stumbled and fell head first into a rack of frilly unmentionables. The more he scrambled to get up, the more he got tangled in bras, panties, and stockings.
Wal-Mart employees, the ones who weren't doubled over in laughter, came over and tried to lend my dad a hand. I should have run away. I wanted to run and hide. But I think the pure, unimaginable mortification of the situation had temporarily cemented my feet to the floor. I couldn't move. I couldn't even breathe.
What felt like three hours later, my dad was finally back on his feet and lingerie free. The crowd that had developed around the spectacle actually broke out into applause.
Chapter 14: Pre-Date Drama
Tai's brilliant plan to get me ready for my date was makeup. Why hadn't I thought of that? Since Tai was black and I was white I couldn't exactly borrow her makeup. My mother had perfect skin and had never worn makeup in her life so I couldn't borrow from her either. So Tai actually borrowed a makeup kit from Kyle. Yes, my boyfriend had a makeup kit. He is a model after all. She told him she needed it for a science experiment and he bought that. Actually, he probably didn't care. I'm sure he had three or four of them.
I was already starting to heal pretty well, but I still needed to cover the stitches in the side of my head and the bruising around my eyes. Technically, my dad said I couldn’t wear make-up until I was sixteen. But after that Wal-Mart incident, he decided to bend the rules in my favor just this once. He felt he owed me.
Kyle and I had plans to see some terrible horror movie. I didn't care what movie we saw so long as I got to spend time with him. And I figured that with a horror movie I'd be able to pretend I was scared and let him put his arm around me or something. I could already imagine myself resting my head on his shoulder. My heart sped up just thinking about it.
Tai straightened my frizzy red hair until it practically glowed. I tucked it behind my left ear and let it cascade over the right side of my face like one of those movie stars from the fifties. The scar was covered by my hair and with what I can only assume was industrial strength foundation. I looked better than I ever had.
My stomach started flipping around when my mom went to pick up Kyle in the jet. She still didn't feel well, but I begged her to go. I was afraid of what my father would talk to him about during the ride. Even though we were just going to erase his memory of the entire trip when he got here, I was pretty sure that threats from my scary looking father were powerful enough to cause permanent damage.
I ended up buying two bras after that fiasco at Wal-Mart. I got the boring white one and the pink one that my dad picked out. It was pretty cute. There's something very disturbing about the fact that my father could pick out a better bra than me and that I was about to wear that bra on my first date. I tried not to focus on that. Instead, I concentrated on accessorizing my outfit for my date.
Originally, I was going to wear a blue and green dress, but that ended up making me look like the Little Mermaid so I went with a black skirt and blue turtleneck. I wore black tights and boots as well, but not because I was cold. Given my special talent I never really got cold. We just thought it would look odd if I walked around Kansas City right after a snow storm in bare legs and flip-flops.
Around 5:30, Josh knocked on my door to let me know Kyle had arrived. Tai and I did a simultaneous squeal. She gave my cheek one final brush of blush and then I walked out of my room as calmly as possible.
Kyle looked like he'd just stepped off the cover of a magazine when I saw him standing in my living room. He held a bouquet of raspberry crème lollipops from Willie's Sweet Shop back in River's Bend as he looked around my living room slightly confused. Katya must have just erased his short term memory. I kind of felt bad for all the brain cells we were probably frying away, but my mom and Katya assured me it was perfectly safe. When I saw the look in Kyle's eyes as he looked at me, I knew he would agree that sacrificing a few brain cells was worth it.
"Hey, Priss," he said. I thought I heard his voice shake. Was he nervous? Well that made sense, I was nervous too. What if he didn't like me as much as he did two months ago? What if he finally realized what a loser freak I was and dumped me?
"Hi, Kyle."
We stared at each other awkwardly for a few seconds, not sure what to do. I wanted to hug him. I thought he probably wanted to hug me too, but Josh was standing nearby, Tai was grinning like an idiot in the corner, and for some reason Marco had shown up and was staring at us as well. It just felt weird.
He looked so dreamy in his black blazer and blue t-shirt that completely matched his eyes. I always thought Kyle was cute, but until a few months ago he wasn't my type. He was too preppy for me. Once in sixth grade he wore loafers and a cardigan to play kick ball. At first I was so mad at him. He was on my team and I didn't want him making us lose because he wasn't dressed to compete. I forgave him when we won the game anyway.
"This is for you," he said finally, holding up the candy.
I walked over to him and took the bouquet of my favorite lollipops. It was so sweet the way he remembered things like that about me. "Thanks." I reached up to give him a hug when suddenly my dad appeared and stepped in between us.
"Hold out your hands," he barked.
"What?" Kyle took a terrified step backwards.
"I said hold out your hands. Palms up."
"Yes, sir." Kyle's voice was definitely shaking now.
"Dad, what are you doing?" I asked, trying to step around him.
"It's a little solution I whipped up in the lab," he said while spraying Kyle's hands.
"What does it do? What are you putting on him, Dad?"
"For the next twenty four hours, everything Kyle touches will glow a conspicuous shade of green."
Josh started laughing. I glared at him. I noticed that Marco had a smile across his face as well. They should've been happy Kyle was in the room. Cause if he wasn't, sparks would've been flying.
"Daddy, why are you doing this?" I tried to remain calm, but I felt a "Prissy Fit" brewing.
My dad pulled me into the kitchen. "I just want to make sure he doesn't take any liberties with your body," he said once we were alone.
"Libe
rties? What does that even mean?"
"I also made you a panic button. If he tries anything, just push this button on this watch and I'll come and get you." He held the manly looking green camouflage watch out for me. It totally clashed with my outfit. There was no way I was putting that thing on.
I rolled my eyes. "Dad, I can bench press a car. I think I can handle a horny teenager. If Kyle tries anything I don't like, I'll break his face."
My dad thought for a second. "Good point," he said, putting the watch in his pocket.