Mille stared at them in wide-eyed wonder and Becky laughed. ‘You seem to be a dab hand at this. How come you know so much about entertaining young children?’
‘One of the benefits of being an uncle to so many little nieces and nephews,’ he replied wryly. ‘You have to find ways to distract them if you hope to survive!’
‘Really?’ Becky frowned. ‘But surely you haven’t seen that much of your family with working abroad?’
‘More than you’d think.’ He swung Millie onto his shoulders and gave her a piggyback to the car. ‘Anna lives in France so I spent a lot of time with her and her family while I was working there. And Fiona has moved to Spain—Marbella, which is a great place for holidays as I discovered. Then there’s Shona—I think I told you that I stayed with her on my way back here.’
‘You did. You said she was expecting another child—has she had it yet?’
‘Yes. Another little girl.’ He grinned as he unlocked the car. ‘Ryan’s girlfriend is expecting too so I’ll have to get a move on if I hope to compete with the rest of my family!’
‘You certainly will.’
Becky gave him a quick smile but Ewan was aware that some of the sparkle had gone out of it. What had he said? he wondered as he handed Millie over so Becky could strap her into her seat. He had no idea but it seemed that he had touched a nerve.
He drove them straight to Pringle’s Cove after they left the cottage. Although the beach there was much smaller than the one at nearby Denton’s Cove, there were lots of rock pools, which he knew Millie would enjoy exploring. Drawing up close to the top of the footpath, he switched off the engine.
‘I’ll fetch our bits and bobs while you carry Millie.’
‘Are you sure you can manage?’ Becky asked as she got out of the car. She looked dubiously into the boot. ‘We seem to have an awful lot of stuff in there.’
‘I’ll just bring the essentials for now and come back for the rest as and when it’s needed,’ he assured her.
‘Oh, right. Good idea.’
She set off down the path while Ewan gathered together what they needed. The picnic basket and the rug were essentials, as were a child-sized bucket and spade. He piled everything on the ground then reached for the parasol he’d discovered at the back of a cupboard, stopping when he heard a scream from below. Hurrying to the top of the path, he peered down, his heart turning over when he saw Becky lying sprawled on the ground. He ran down to her, skidding to a halt when he reached her.
‘Are you all right?’
‘I think so.’ She went to stand up, no easy task when she still had hold of Millie.
‘Let me take her.’ Ewan took the little girl off her, putting his hand under Becky’s elbow as he helped her to her feet.
‘Thanks. My foot caught on a stone and down I went. Is Millie all right?’ she asked anxiously.
‘She’s fine, aren’t you, poppet?’ Ewan gave the child a cuddle then took a firmer grip on Becky’s arm. ‘Let’s get you down safely before I go back for our things.’
Becky didn’t protest as he helped her down the rest of the path. Ewan guessed that the fall had shaken her up but he didn’t say anything. Becky wouldn’t appreciate him fussing over her. She wasn’t the sort of woman who demanded attention, although maybe he should have paid her more attention eight years ago and then she might not have married Steve. He sighed as he left her and Millie sitting on a piece of driftwood and went back for their things. It was pointless thinking like that. Becky had married Steve and nothing would change that fact. All he could do was hope that she would get over losing her husband in time.
* * *
Despite its inauspicious start, the afternoon turned out perfectly. Ewan was patience itself as he helped Millie make dozens of sand pies. He even dug a trench so the sea could form a moat around them, much to Millie’s delight. As Becky listened to her daughter’s squeals of joy as the water flowed along the channel, she couldn’t help feeling sad. If things had been different then Millie could have been the luckiest little girl in the world. She could have had Ewan around to love and care for her while she was growing up.
‘I...am...pooped!’ Ewan deposited a decidedly sandy Millie onto the rug and flopped down beside her. ‘This little lady has worn me out.’
‘I thought you said you were an expert at looking after little ones,’ Becky retorted, determined not to let him know how she was feeling. She knew the score, understood that Ewan could never take on the role of Millie’s father, and there was no point torturing herself.
‘Hmm, obviously I had a rather rosy view of my prowess.’ He raked back his hair and grinned wickedly at her. ‘Remind me not to make any false claims in the future, will you?’
Even though ostensibly they were discussing his claim to be an expert childminder, Becky blushed. She busied herself with unpacking the picnic, trying not to think about what else Ewan might claim to be an expert at. So what if he was a wonderful lover? There was no guarantee that they were compatible, was there?
The thought nagged away at her as they ate. She had lost all interest in sex in recent years and it was worrying to wonder how she would react if she and Ewan made love, especially in view of what Steve had said. She couldn’t bear to think that he had been right and that she was frigid.
Millie fell asleep as soon as she had finished her lunch. Becky laid her down on the rug, frowning as she looked round for something to use as a sunshade. The sun was quite strong now and she didn’t want Millie getting burnt.
‘Use this.’ Ewan produced a battered-looking parasol. He dug it into the sand, angling it so that Millie was sheltered from the sun’s rays.
‘That’s great. Where on earth did you get it, though?’
‘I found it in the back of a cupboard. The previous tenants must have left it behind when they moved out of the flat.’ Ewan sat down again, resting his forearms across his up-bent knees as he stared out to sea. ‘It’s so peaceful here. It’s hard to believe that only a few miles away there are people rushing about.’
‘It must make a pleasant change after working in ED all week,’ Becky observed, leaning back on her elbows. She tilted her face to the sun, enjoying its warmth. It seemed ages since she’d had time to relax like this and she intended to make the most of it.
‘True. Although, I must admit that I love the job.’ He shrugged. ‘I must be a bit of masochist, I suppose.’
‘You always wanted to work in emergency medicine,’ she pointed out, turning to look at him.
‘I did.’ He smiled at her. ‘I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. Not everyone gets to do a job they love. Oh, that reminds me, did I tell you that I called in to see Sandra Fielding?’
‘The lady who fractured her femur in the coach crash?’
‘That’s the one. She’s doing very well, you’ll be glad to hear, although whether that’s down to the excellent nursing care she’s received or because her friend—Edward, isn’t it?—cancelled his flight home to Canada so he could be with her, I’m not sure.’ He laughed. ‘They say that love is the best medicine of all and they could be right.’
‘Really? Oh, how lovely!’ Becky exclaimed.
‘Isn’t it?’ His voice dropped, sounding deeper than ever, and she shivered. ‘I think it proves that time doesn’t always destroy people’s feelings.’
He leant sideways and Becky knew that he was going to kiss her. Just for a moment panic assailed her as she wondered if it was right to let their relationship take this direction. But then Ewan’s lips found hers and all her doubts fled. She wanted his kiss, wanted it so much that she couldn’t bear to wait another second.
Their mouths met with a small jolt and she heard him sigh, knew that he understood how desperate she felt because he felt the same. Ewan was as eager for this kiss as she was. Their mouths clung then parted. Becky closed her eyes when she felt his lips skim over her face, scattering butterfly-soft kisses along the way. She could feel the sun on her skin, see its glow through her closed eyelids
, and it felt as though she was suddenly enveloped in warmth and light. Ewan’s mouth was so hot, his lips burning as they travelled over her skin. Everywhere they touched it felt as though a flame had ignited. Would it always be this way? she wondered dizzily. Or would her delight in his kisses fade with time?
‘I didn’t think it could ever be as good between us as it was before.’ Ewan drew back and Becky shuddered when she saw the desire in his eyes.
‘And is it?’ she asked huskily.
‘No.’ He dropped a kiss on her mouth, letting his lips linger, and she knew it was because he couldn’t bear to break the contact. When he finally pulled away his face was set, the tense line of his jaw hinting at the struggle he’d had. ‘It’s even better.’
He eased her down onto the rug and kissed her again, his mouth demanding a response that she was more than willing to give. Becky could feel desire roaring through her veins, feel her blood heating and her heart racing. Ewan was right, she thought, it was better now: more passionate, more sensual, more...everything!
They were both breathless when they broke apart, both trembling as though they had a fever. Becky could feel little flurries of heat rippling beneath her skin and knew they had nothing to do with the weather. It was Ewan who had set her alight; his kisses had reawoken her passion and proved that she wasn’t frigid.
‘Although I hate to say this, we should stop.’ He ran his thumb over her swollen lips and she felt him shudder and shuddered too. He had to breathe in and out before he could continue. ‘It’s not exactly private here, is it? I’d hate it if someone came along and found us in what could only be called a compromising position.’
Becky blushed as her mind conjured up the scene. The thought of making love with Ewan right here on the beach was so tempting but she knew he was right to call a halt. Even if they had the cove to themselves there was Millie to consider: she could wake up at any moment.
‘You’re right. I’d hate it too. It would make it seem so cheap and tawdry...’
‘Which it isn’t.’ He kissed her softly and with infinite tenderness. ‘There’s nothing cheap or tawdry about what we’re doing, Becky.’
‘I know that.’
‘Good. I’d hate to think that you felt it was wrong in any way.’
She saw the question in his eyes and shook her head. ‘I don’t think that, Ewan. Really, I don’t.’
‘So long as you’re sure it’s what you want?’ He gave her a moment to reconsider then shrugged. ‘At least we’re clear on that point. Now we have to decide how to handle this. I understand if you don’t want to go public so maybe we should keep this to ourselves until you’re comfortable with the idea of us being a couple.’
‘I don’t think we need to worry unduly about that,’ she said, her heart sinking. She took a quick breath but she had to make it clear that no matter what happened, they weren’t going down the happily-ever-after route. It would be wrong to mislead him, wrong and cruel to offer him something she couldn’t deliver. ‘I imagine folk will get the message eventually. Once the expected announcements—engagement, wedding—don’t materialise, they’ll give up.’
‘I’m sure they will.’
Ewan’s tone was bland. If he was upset by what she’d said, it didn’t show. Becky couldn’t help feeling hurt even though she knew how selfish it was. She should be glad that he didn’t consider their relationship to be a long-term arrangement. At least this way he wouldn’t get hurt.
He stood up, brushing the sand off his legs, and she forced herself to smile even though it felt as though her heart had split wide open. ‘So we’re agreed, then. We shall be discreet and leave everyone to watch and wonder.’
‘Sounds good to me.’ He glanced towards the sea, shading his eyes against the glare so that it was impossible to read his expression. ‘Right, I think I’ll go for a swim. With a bit of luck the sun will have taken some of the chill off the water by now.’
He stripped off his T-shirt and dropped it onto the sand. His trousers quickly followed, leaving him clad only in a pair of black swimming shorts. Becky gulped as she was treated to a glimpse of his hard, tanned body before he jogged towards the water. He plunged into the waves, swimming strongly towards the mouth of the bay.
Becky watched him until her eyes blurred, until she was unable to distinguish the sea from the sky. Lying back on the rug, she tried to console herself with the thought that she had done the right thing, but it didn’t help. She might want Ewan even though she knew she couldn’t have him, but it was obvious that he didn’t want her. Oh, he might be happy to have a relationship with her, would certainly enjoy making love to her, but he didn’t see her as part of his future. It made her wonder if he had his own agenda for taking up with her. Was he trying to get even with her for the way she had rejected him? It was possible. Anything was possible. Ewan could be playing her for a fool....
Only she didn’t really believe that, did she? It wasn’t Ewan’s way to be deceitful. He was far too honest to play those sorts of games. Which meant that she’d been right in the first place. Ewan considered her to be a temporary addition to his life, a pleasant distraction. Nothing more and nothing less.
* * *
Ewan swam until his lungs burned and his arms felt as though they had turned to lead. Rolling over onto his back, he let the waves carry him back towards the shore. It was lucky the tide was coming in as he doubted he had the strength to get back there under his own steam.
He swore roundly, cursing his own stupidity and the fact that he had allowed his emotions to strip away his common sense. So what if Becky didn’t want to spend her life with him? It was hardly a surprise. She’d had her chance eight years ago and decided against it. It wasn’t as though he had spent those years pining for her either. He’d had a lot of fun, lived life to the fullest, and enjoyed himself both with and without a female companion in tow. Maybe Becky did seem to press an awful lot of buttons but he would meet someone else who pressed even more. The law of averages made that a certainty. Out of all the women in all the world, Becky couldn’t be the only one he’d fall in love with...
Could she?
Ewan ditched that thought before it could grow wings. Rolling over, he forced his tired limbs into a rapid crawl that soon had him back at the beach. He stood up and shook himself, watching the droplets of water leave pockmarks in the smooth damp sand. Not so long ago it had felt as though everything he had ever wished for was within his reach but now that idea was pockmarked with doubts, like the sand under his feet. Becky might be happy to have a relationship with him but she was never going to make a lifetime’s commitment to them as a couple.
Millie was awake when he went back. He towelled himself dry and dragged on his clothes. Becky had packed up the remains of their picnic and he took it as a sign that she was ready to leave. Maybe she’d realised that they’d had the best out of the day and that it was all downhill from this point on.
The thought was depressing. It was an effort to appear upbeat as he picked up Millie. ‘I’ll carry Millie up the path. I wouldn’t want you to slip again.’
‘Thanks.’
Becky sounded unusually subdued but he refused to speculate about the reason for it. If she didn’t want to share her life with him then she definitely wouldn’t want to share her thoughts. He set off up the path, singing a rousing version of ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ to amuse Millie as well as distract himself. There were too many dark thoughts whizzing around his head, thoughts he wouldn’t want to share with Becky either. He sighed. Maybe they were equally at fault. He was just as determined to keep his counsel as she was hers, it seemed.
He handed Millie over then went back to collect their things. By the time he had stowed everything in the boot, the sun had disappeared behind a bank of ominously black clouds. He grimaced as he started the engine.
‘Looks like we’re leaving at the right time. There’s a storm brewing.’
The words were barely out of his mouth when the first raindrops fell from the
sky. Ewan turned on the windscreen wipers as he looked for somewhere to turn the car around. The lane leading to Pringle’s Cove was extremely narrow, which was one of the reasons why very few visitors made it there. It also made reversing a problem.
‘There’s a gateway further down the road. You should be able to turn round there,’ Becky suggested, leaning forward to point through the windscreen.
Ewan flinched when her arm brushed against his. He gritted his teeth as he drove towards where she’d indicated. He needed to reassess the situation, decide what he wanted to do and not simply be led by his emotions. He turned the car around and headed back to Bride’s Bay. What it all came down to was simple: could he handle having a relationship with Becky that was based on sex and nothing more?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
A WEEK PASSED, then a second, and still Becky didn’t hear a word from Ewan. She found herself lingering by the telephone each evening like a lovesick teenager but couldn’t help it. She missed him. Missed hearing his voice, missed seeing his smile, just missed him. In a few short weeks he had become an important part of her life and every day she didn’t see or speak to him felt emptier because of it.
She knew that at some point she would have to face up to the reason why she felt this way, but not just yet. It was too much, too soon; she wasn’t ready. She couldn’t handle the fact, either, that no matter how she felt, she could never tell Ewan. She had to protect him even though it appeared he might not need protecting after all. Ewan’s feelings seemed to be far more prosaic than hers were.
The start of the new month loomed and Becky got ready to move into the cottage. Her parents had been typically generous and insisted on buying her some furniture. She had sold her old furniture before she’d come back to England, not wanting it as a reminder of her former life. She would have had next to nothing to furnish her new home if her parents hadn’t bought her a table and chairs, a bed and a sofa as well as giving her the new nursery furniture, and Becky was suitably grateful.
The Rebel Who Loved Her Page 12