by Lynda Stacey
‘See, you were laughing at my tick list earlier,’ Jack said as he tapped his pen against the arm of the wheelchair. ‘But you’re not laughing now, are you?’ He pulled a face, making Jess laugh. She’d been so sure that he’d die, so sure that she’d lost him that now any face that he wished to pull would only remind her of how lucky she was that she was able to see it.
‘Stop it, or you will be sent back to bed,’ she teased. ‘Where you should be.’ She went to the back of his chair and began to push him through the grand hall. ‘Doctor said you needed to rest and only if you rest will you get better. In fact, I really don’t think they’d have even let you out if it wasn’t almost Christmas and if you hadn’t been such a pain in the ass to the nurses. They were probably glad to be rid of you.’
‘Jess, I’m alive. And they let me out of hospital because I begged them to let me go. I hated it in there.’ Again he gave her a smile. ‘And the last thing I want is to be in bed for the whole of Christmas. Besides, there are things to do.’ He looked smug. ‘I’ve always organised Christmas at the Hall. It’s my job.’
‘You still need to do what the doctor said.’ Jess tried to sound forceful. ‘And what’s more, you have to do what I say, oh father of my child.’
A commotion could be heard on the staircase and Jess spun the wheelchair around on the spot to see both Lily and Poppy running down the stairs.
‘Aunty Jess, the bus is coming up the drive, all the people, they’re coming and do you know what?’ shouted Poppy. ‘Mummy says that Santa will come too.’
‘Ohhh, is that right?’ Jess questioned. ‘But … Santa only comes to good little girls, isn’t that right, Jack?’
Jack had already grabbed hold of Poppy; his fingers were wiggling around in the air and Poppy was jumping on his knee, wrapping her arms around his neck and covering him in kisses, before screaming as Jack’s hands got closer and closer to tickling her. ‘And you, Lily. You’re next,’ he shouted as he set to work tormenting Poppy.
Lily ran up the stairs and hid her face behind the balustrade. ‘Jess, Santa, he will know where to find me, won’t he?’ she asked, making both Jack and Jess gasp.
‘Oh, Lily. Come here, poppet.’ Jess sat on the bottom step of the staircase. ‘Of course, he’ll know where you are,’ she said as she pulled the child into her arms. She knew that Lily was feeling insecure. She’d been withdrawn for the last few days since Annie had shown up, and, after what Jack had overheard, everyone in the Hall had been on edge just in case she came back.
‘I wasn’t sure, but then, Mummy found me, didn’t she?’ Lily looked up with her saucer-wide eyes and Jess noticed how her bottom lip quivered.
‘Mummy didn’t exactly find you, honey.’ Jess looked to Jack for support, not knowing what else to say, but then watched as the child physically shrank before her.
‘Jess, I … I lied.’ A sob left her throat. ‘The day me and Poppy got locked in the cellar, it was because I saw Mummy. She was there, in the trees, trying to get me and we ran to the house to hide. Then she came here the night Jack was hurt. I saw her hiding in the corridor near the toilets. Do you think she’ll come back, Jess? Do you think the police will catch her?’
Jess spun to look at Jack, before turning back to Lily. ‘Oh, Lily, my darling girl, don’t you worry about that. She won’t come back. Not if I have anything to do with it.’ Jess didn’t know what else to say. ‘If she does, then our Jack here, he’ll run her over with his wheelchair, won’t you, Jack?’ She tried to make light of the situation, knowing that an eight-year-old girl should never have to worry, and her mind went back to that first night she’d slept with Lily, how she’d tossed and turned with nightmares that a child should never have.
‘I heard Bandit on the phone,’ Lily continued. ‘He said Mummy was going to take me away, that Jack had overheard her. That she was going to sell me.’ She sighed. ‘Why would she do that, Jess? She’s never really wanted me before, so I guess it makes sense that she’d sell me to someone who did.’
Lily’s voice was full of emotion and Jess felt her heart break for the child. She knew she had to be strong for Lily’s sake, but for a moment she didn’t know what to do or say and she watched as Lily curled up in a ball and sobbed in her arms.
Jess shook her head. ‘Don’t cry, princess. Life is hard. But do you know what I do when I get sad? I do something really brave, something positive. Sometimes if I’m alone, I sing a happy song, or I close my eyes and I think of those people who love me the most, does that make sense?’
Lily nodded, just as the front door opened and the promised coachload of people all began to enter the Hall, making Jess wish they’d stayed away for just a few minutes more. She reached out and took Lily’s hand. ‘Lily, you’re my sister and we all love you so much. You’re safe here, princess, I promise. Everyone here will look after you, you do know that, don’t you?’ She pulled her sister towards her and stroked her cheek. ‘Now, you and Poppy run and get your lovely new coats. You’ll need them when we go outside to wait for Santa. But first, we’re going to stand by the tree and sing with the choir.’
Both girls ran back up the stairs and Jess turned to Jack who was happily shaking hands with everyone who walked past. Most had heard of his accident, and had stopped to question him about his ordeal. The grand hall soon became full of children and adults, all waiting for the carol service to begin. All Jess could do was hope she’d reassured Lily enough, hope she felt loved and that after the evidence that Jack had given, the police caught Annie, and soon.
‘Right, I really think you should be resting.’ Jess placed a hand on Jack’s shoulder. ‘It’s only a few days since you were unconscious in a hospital bed and the last thing I want is for you to overdo it and end up back in hospital for Christmas. Besides, it’s our wedding in just over a week, I need you fit and healthy for the wedding night.’ They both looked at his leg and burst out laughing. ‘That’s if you can manage like that?’
Jack smirked. ‘Oh, I can manage all right, don’t you worry about that.’ He pulled her towards him and gently pressed a kiss to her lips.
‘Good, now off to bed with you.’ Jess allowed her hand to linger on his shoulder and for a moment she wished that she could go to bed with him, curl up by his side and keep hold of him for hours and hours.
Jack relented. ‘Okay, okay, take me to bed. I’ll open the window and listen from up there.’ He smiled, a wide disarming smile that melted Jess’s heart.
‘I wish I could come to bed with you,’ she said as she pushed him through the dining room. ‘But you, my darling, are going in the service lift and I’ll meet you at the top of the stairs.’
Jack began to laugh. ‘Well, that’s the best offer I’m likely to get tonight, I guess.’ He turned his head and raised an eyebrow. ‘Unless of course you want to crawl in and get dirty with me later?’ Jess blushed and slapped his shoulder.
‘Ouch, careful,’ Jack shouted. ‘I’m still in pain, you have to be nice to me. It’s the law.’
‘Well, we’ll have to see how fit and wide awake you are later,’ she added as she pushed his chair forward and then laughed as the service doors closed behind him.
She watched the lift disappear upwards as the words, ‘Oh, I’ll be awake,’ echoed down the shaft. ‘And I’ll be waiting.’
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jess and Madeleine stood together outside. Their arms were linked and they rocked to and fro as the sound of ‘We Wish You A Merry Christmas’ rang out through the grounds of Wrea Head Hall. A hundred people all stood wrapped in coats, hats and scarves in the darkness, as they surrounded the brightly lit Christmas tree, while listening to the children’s school choir. It was the event of the year and even though it was cold and the air felt damp, almost all of Scalby had turned out for the occasion.
Life was complete. Jess had Madeleine, who was not only her sister, but her rock, her support system, the one person who’d always been there for her; with the baby on the way, Jess would need her more
than ever before. Jess smiled and thought of Jack up in their bed, waiting for her. The thought made her warm and happy. To top her world off, she had both a little sister and a father and they were both here at Wrea Head Hall for Christmas. Jess looked through the crowd to where Bastion stood, one hand holding Lily’s, the other discreetly holding Nomsa’s. They exchanged glances and even though it was early days, Jess was pleased that Nomsa had indeed finally found someone to love, a man she’d wished for and dreamed of, but somehow had never met, not until now. It wasn’t surprising that she’d never met anyone before, she’d never really had the time. She was always at the Hall, even on her days off she came in and made an excuse that something needed her attention, or that she’d forgotten to do something the day before. These visits often led to her being in the kitchen for most of the day, which had always made Jess wonder how lonely she’d really have been without the Hall.
‘Is Jack okay?’ Madeleine asked as Poppy ran towards them. ‘Do you need to go to him?’
Jess shook her head. ‘No, he’s fine. I put him to bed. He said he’d leave the window open and listen to the carols, but I doubt he will. He looked really tired and I’m kind of guessing that by now he’ll be fast asleep.’
Poppy jumped up into her arms. ‘Bandit says we’re going to have pie and peas. Bernie made baby pies for me and Lily, with chicken and vegetables in them.’ She looked pleased with herself that Bernie had taken the time to create her a special pie, just the right size for her and she leaned into Jess, burying her head in her hair.
The air was crisp, the sound of the carols continued, the smell of the log burners filled the air and the magic of Christmas finally began to fill the Hall. Jess couldn’t remember a more perfect day and she hoped it would get better before it ended. Then, from somewhere in the distance, a jingling sound could be heard.
‘Poppy, look.’ She poked Poppy in the ribs and pointed to the lane, where a brightly lit sleigh appeared being pulled by six reindeer, with a jolly Santa dressed in his traditional red coat sitting at the front.
‘Santa!’ Poppy squealed. ‘Lily, he came! Lily, come see Santa. He found you.’
Jess saw Lily turn, her face lighting up and her eyes wide and full of amazement. ‘Daddy, he really came,’ Jess heard her whisper as she struggled out of his grasp and together Poppy and Lily ran hand in hand towards the sleigh, along with all the other children who’d suddenly all stopped singing.
‘Isn’t it magical?’ Jess said to Madeleine as they both walked to watch where Santa now stood, handing out gifts to the children that now surrounded him, all squealing with delight. The laughter came as much from the parents as it did from the children and a constant shout of, ‘Look, Mummy, Daddy, look,’ could be heard.
Jess turned to see how Nomsa had snuggled into Bastion, how they smiled and laughed, and then Bastion lifted a hand to cup her chin, making Jess gasp and prod Madeleine. ‘Oh my, do you think he will?’ She thought he was about to kiss Nomsa, right there in front of the tree, but Nomsa moved away and slapped his hand, and then like Bambi on ice her legs flew up and she landed heavily on her bottom. ‘Oh, no!’ Jess squealed as both she and Madeleine rushed to help her. ‘Nomsa, are you okay?’
‘Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine,’ Nomsa replied. ‘Nothing but my pride is hurt, though my skirt is dirty, and now look.’ She pointed upward as without warning, the heavens opened. Rain began to fall in torrents, the sound of thunder filled the air, and a sudden flash of lightning lit up the sky in huge, dagger-like forks, making everyone turn and run for the Hall.
‘Children, come on, please, please go inside. Santa will come to you …’ A schoolteacher’s voice shouted out above the children’s shrieks and they watched as they all ran to the Hall, some clutching their gifts.
‘Poppy, Lily!’ Jess shouted. She searched amongst the children. ‘Where did they go?’ She turned to Madeleine. ‘Poppy, Lily, where are you?’ The rain fell so fast that she could barely see where the girls had stood. For a moment she panicked, but then breathed a sigh of relief as Poppy emerged from the crowd and ran towards her and Maddie.
‘Mummy, my present … The one Santa gave me,’ she sobbed as she jumped into her mother’s arms. ‘I … I dropped it …’
‘Oh, honey. It just got a bit dirty that’s all. Mummy will wash it for you,’ Jess heard Madeleine say, but her eyes still searched for Lily. She looked back at the Hall. Had she gone back inside when Nomsa fell? How could she have lost sight of her? They all ran to the Hall, stopping just inside the entrance.
‘Wow, where did that rain come from?’ Madeleine shouted as Jess ran and scanned the children who now shook themselves free of the rain. But Lily was nowhere to be seen. ‘Lily … Lily!’ she shouted, and she saw both Nomsa and Bastion take up the search.
Jess knelt down. ‘Poppy, listen to Aunty Jess, this is important.’ She stroked the wet hair out of the child’s face. ‘When you got your present from Santa, did Lily get one with you? I can’t see her, do you know where she went?’
Poppy hugged her doll to herself and nodded. ‘It’s okay, Aunty Jess. Her mummy came to collect her. I think she’s gone to stay at her house for Christmas.’
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Annie leaned back in the van seat and closed her eyes as the effects of the drugs took hold. She’d done it, she’d done what he’d said and she’d felt the excitement hit her when Griff had passed her a bag of crack. It had been like he’d given her a present, a treat for behaving and for doing well. And she’d wasted no time in using the stash. She drifted in and out of sleep, and for a while, her mind was content.
But somewhere in the back of her mind there were annoying sounds. First there was the thunderous weather, the banging of raindrops and the flashes of lightning, but then from somewhere behind her came the sound of a child whimpering. Annie didn’t like the noise and found herself opening one eye to stare at where Lily crouched in the back of the van, on an old piece of smelly, wet carpet.
‘Stop bloody snivelling,’ Griff shouted, making Annie jump. She opened both of her eyes, and realised that they’d now left town and were already on the motorway. She hoped that they’d soon be back in London where she could put these past few days behind her and once again settle into the normality that was her life.
Annie observed her daughter, who stared back at her with wide open eyes. ‘Stop doing that,’ Annie said. ‘You don’t want to be annoying him, girl, he’s nasty.’ She didn’t want to look at Lily, didn’t want her accusing eyes gawking at her. What’s more she certainly didn’t want to think about what Griff had planned for her. She didn’t care, after all, it wouldn’t be her problem. Her problem was handing over the child and that was now done. Her debt was paid and now, now it was time she walked away and found a new patch to work, without a pimp. She thought about Bastion’s old flat, wondered whether it was still empty and as easy to break into as it always had been. She nodded. Yes, she’d go there. She’d hide out there until after Christmas, as no one would want her services, not this week and especially now she had some crack, she had no reason to work. She shook the bag and eyed its contents; there was enough in there to last her a few days, and when she got back to London, she’d retrieve the bag of stolen drugs that she had hidden in the cellar and she’d take it with her.
The pouring rain, along with the continuous swish of the windscreen wipers and the drone of the motorway, continued to be annoying. Annie stared at the child, just to kill the boredom. The girl had stopped whimpering and now lay curled up on the van floor where she slept. She was so tiny, so perfect and Annie complimented herself on how amazing she’d been to produce a whole person who could walk and talk so cleverly. It had never really occurred to her what she’d done before. For a few moments it was as though she was thinking in slow motion, moving her mind through mud. She tried to smile, knowing that the drugs were making her lips and mouth move in an odd manner, but she didn’t care. For now, she felt warm, happy and just a little content with her life.
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br /> The van jolted to a stop, crawled for a while and then quickly sped off as though nothing had happened. The monotony of the journey made her restless. The drugs had made her feel warm and sleepy and although she was now as high as she could get, she knew it wouldn’t last. The drugs overwhelmed her and she had the urge to close her eyes, but she didn’t dare; Griff was unpredictable, and now he had the child he had no need for her, and she began to wonder what he had in store for her. Would he allow her to walk, to get on with her life, or would he make more demands with the threat of his ever present flick knife?
But then, her body gave up and she drifted into sleep and began to dream. Griff was there with other men. They stood, leering, drool dripping down their chins and she could feel the look of dirty, pure evil in their eyes. It was an evil she’d seen so many times before, an evil that only came from the deprived, the sex starved and from the ones who liked to inflict pain, but this time they looked at the baby that she held in her arms. She glanced down to see Lily, new born and smelling of milk and talcum powder. It had been a time when Annie had been happy, when she’d been with Bastion, when she’d felt loved, cared for and full of hope for the future. But then, without warning, Griff grabbed the baby from her. He held her up in the air like a prize trophy that he’d won, his eyes lit up all the while with lust like sparklers on Bonfire Night.
‘You’re not having her, you bastard,’ she screamed out loud, her hands punching out and the dream overtook her mind. ‘You can’t, you can’t do that, she’s just a baby.’ Her heart had been slowed by the drug, but the dream had stirred her and she felt a sudden rush travel through her. Then the van came to a halt, and she felt Griff’s hand push against her shoulder.
‘Wake up, and get out, we’re here,’ he said as the van door opened and a gush of cold air flooded in, rousing Annie with a start. She took in a deep breath, and turned slowly. Lily was still there, curled up on the dirty carpet in her brand new bright red coat. And even though the van was now filled with the coldness of night, she was still sleeping.