by Janet Albert
"But you couldn't?"
"That's right. I had to find the courage to face you."
"I was afraid to face you," Juliet said. "I'm the one who should be sorry and I am. I deserved everything you said to me. I knew Devin was special to you and I had no right to ask about her." Juliet rubbed her forehead. "I need to learn when to hold back."
"You were just being kind. I was being a shit," Lucia said. "When I thought about it later I felt so bad, but I guess I couldn't do any better at the time. You see, I can't bear to think about Devin or what happened to her and it hurts me to talk about it."
"I can see that now and I should have been more sensitive."
"Don't let me off the hook that easily." Lucia ran her fingers through her hair and took in a deep breath. "I can't keep doing that to the people who care about me."
Lucia was worn out from keeping secrets and holding her pain inside. And she was sick of drowning her sorrows in vodka. The shell she had built around herself had grown thin and fragile and lately it had begun to crack. While it felt right to dream of being free of the need for that protection, she feared how she would fare without it. "I hate to admit this, but after I dropped you off I went to a bar and got drunk."
"I wish you would have stayed with me."
"That would have been a better choice. I can't go on doing that." Lucia was deeply touched by the depth of feeling Juliet's words had conveyed. She wanted to reach out with her fingers and smooth the creases around Juliet's eyes. "You look tired and you've been working so hard. Why don't you go home and get some rest? There's nothing here you can't do another day."
"Lucia," Juliet began, tentatively. "I don't want us to be at odds with each other. This job is important to me and I want to stay here with you and Luke for a long time. I don't expect us to be the best of friends, but I would really love it if we could get along and respect each other's feelings."
"I don't want us to just get along." Lucia gazed into Juliet's blue eyes, seeing in them the sincerity of her plea. A bond had formed between them, without any help from her, and she was drawn to Juliet in a way she couldn't explain. All she knew was she had to go with it and stop fighting.
"I don't understand," Juliet said.
"I want more than that. I want us to be friends."
"You do?" Juliet's face relaxed. "Do you think that's wise?"
"Honestly? I don't know if it is or not and I don't care. I want it anyway. This is my life and what I do is my business. In spite of how I've behaved toward you, having you around has made me feel better than I have in a long time. You've given me hope and I'll try not to let my problems get in the way of our relationship again."
"And I won't pressure you to tell me about your past. You tell me whatever you want to, whenever you want to, and if you don't want to tell me a thing, that's up to you."
"Let's give it a try." Lucia held out her hand to shake Juliet's, but tucked it away by her side before Juliet could take it. She wanted to touch Juliet, but not in that way.
As though she'd read Lucia's mind and shared the same need, Juliet stepped closer and gathered Lucia into her arms. Without a moment of hesitation, she pulled Lucia close and held on to her.
Lucia kept her arms straight at her sides. Juliet was warm and vibrating with life and Lucia hadn't been held by anyone she cared about for a long time. It made her feel ripped open, so much so she had to remind herself to breathe. When that first breath finally came it carried with it the sweet smell of Juliet's hair and took away with it a gentle sigh.
"This feels good," Juliet whispered.
Lucia raised her arms and wrapped them around Juliet's waist. Juliet's cheek felt like heated brushed cotton as it pressed against her own. She lingered, savoring the sensations for as long as she thought proper, before letting go and stepping away.
"I've wanted to do that," Juliet said.
"I'm glad you did. It felt good and I needed it." Lucia fiddled with a row of test tubes in a metal holder and almost knocked one over in the process.
"I think I'll take your advice and go home early," Juliet said after a long pause. "I need to do some food shopping and I'm almost out of cat food."
"That little cat of yours will be mad."
"She will. She'll be searching for someone else to live with."
"You can't let that happen." Lucia tried to sound upbeat although she was anything but. A strange sense of melancholy was building inside of her mixed with a vague sense of longing. What was it about Juliet that made her feel this way?
"No I can't. I've grown fond of that little fur ball." Juliet's smile seemed weak.
"Come in late tomorrow or take the day off if you need to."
"Thanks, but I don't want to stay home. I'll be fine after a good night's sleep."
To Lucia, Juliet sounded sad. Both of them were overly tired and emotional which would account for it and Lucia thought it entirely possible she could be projecting her own feelings on to Juliet. "We'll both feel better if we get some rest."
"I already feel better because we cleared things up."
"So do I," Lucia said. "I'll see you tomorrow. I have a meeting with the graphic artist in the morning and a lot of things I have to take care of, but I'll try to stop by and see you before you go home."
"If I'm in the barn, I'll stop by your office."
"You do that. I'll look forward to it."
Chapter Twelve
NEARLY TWO WEEKS went by, washed away with the dirt and wine from the floor of the wine cellars. Juliet and Lucia made a point of speaking to each other almost every day and true to her word Lucia kept her behavior in check. There were no more angry outbursts, no more tongue-lashings, no more cold shoulders, at least not toward Juliet. As for Juliet, she kept her end of the deal. She controlled her curiosity and avoided doing anything that might upset or provoke.
Summer had officially entered the scene and with it came the hot, dry, glorious days that were so precious to the people who lived in the area. The number of tourists visiting the winery increased every week and according to Luke, wine sales were soaring through the roof. As he was fond of saying, the wines were flying off the shelves so quickly he didn't even need to dust the bottles anymore.
Just before one o'clock on Thursday, Juliet showered and changed from her work clothes into a pair of clean shorts and a short-sleeved top. Satisfied she was presentable, she walked over to the café to meet Lucia, Carolyn and Lisa for lunch. Carolyn had called Lucia the week before and asked if Lisa could interview them for an article she wanted to write for one of the local winery tabloids. They'd agreed to do it today.
As Juliet approached the café, she spotted Lucia smiling and waving from one of the tables on the deck. Lucia looked excited to see her.
"What a gorgeous day," Juliet remarked when she neared the table.
"Isn't it?" Lucia said. "It's not as hot as it's been the last couple of days and there's a nice breeze. How are things going with you?"
"Fine. I've been looking forward to this," Juliet said as she took a seat next to Lucia. The bright sunshine brought out the green in Lucia's soulful eyes and Juliet had to avert her gaze so as not to stare at them. Two weeks ago, after they hugged in the lab, after Lucia left, Juliet stood there for a while just looking at the empty space where Lucia had been. The sensations she had experienced in Lucia's arms had been new ones for her and she had relived them every day since. She told herself her feelings had been fueled by fragile emotions, intensified by fatigue, and they would fade. But now that she was sitting close to Lucia, she knew they hadn't.
"I ordered a pitcher of iced tea for everyone. If you'd prefer something else to drink you can order it when the waitress comes back."
"Iced tea is perfect."
Lucia leaned back in her chair. "This is why I like being my own boss. I can set my work hours, within reason of course, and unless I have a deadline or a meeting, I can do whatever I please."
"As I recall, you said I could do the same."
"So I did," Lucia said with a smile. "Is that your way of telling me you intend to take the rest of the day off?"
"I thought I might." Juliet returned Lucia's playful smile.
"And I think I'll join you." Lucia was quiet for a moment. "Before Carolyn and Lisa get here, tell me how it was having Carly spend the day with you yesterday?"
"It was fun and she was very cute. She asked me a million questions. She loves the lab equipment--beakers, test tubes, all of it."
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
Juliet went on. "Jaden showed up in the afternoon and I put him and Carly to work cleaning up. I didn't give them anything hard to do, but I think they were pretty worn out by the time they got done. Even after all that, Carly still said she wants to come and help me again."
"That's entirely up to you. Like I told you before, I don't want Carly or Jaden to get in your way or interfere with your work."
"I don't mind if they visit me once in a while. They're nice children."
"Luke told me Carly couldn't keep her eyes open after dinner and Jaden talked about you all evening. Luke said he was dreamy-eyed and kept saying how pretty you were. It seems he has a wicked crush on you."
"That's so sweet."
"He's got good taste in women, I'll give him that." Lucia pointed to the walkway leading to the front of the café. "Carolyn and Lisa are here."
A minute later, the hostess brought Carolyn and Lisa to their table. Before they sat down, Carolyn put her arm around Lisa's shoulders and introduced her to Lucia. They both expressed how they'd wanted to meet each other and then Carolyn and Lisa took the other two chairs.
"The view is magnificent," Carolyn remarked.
"This is a beautiful winery," Lisa added. "I can hardly believe Juliet is working for you. She and I have been friends for years and you and Carolyn have been friends since you were children and..." She paused to take a breath.
"And now we all know each other," Lucia finished for her. "Isn't it strange how our paths cross sometimes?" They discussed how Lisa and Juliet met and then how Juliet met Carolyn until they were interrupted by the arrival of the iced tea.
"I'd like to see the inside of the café before we leave," Lisa said after the waitress filled all their glasses and went back inside. "I know we can't do it today, but I'd also like a tour of the winery, especially the barn. Carolyn told me it was really special."
Juliet was quick to respond. "Why don't you call me and we'll make arrangements for you to come and spend a few hours. I'll give you a complete tour."
"We can give you a wine tasting if you'd like," Lucia added.
"I'd love that," Lisa said. "And it'll help when I write the article."
"Good, then it's all settled." Lucia picked up her menu to look at the day's specials. "Lunch is my treat so order anything you want. Would anyone like wine when the food comes? A bottle of chilled riesling, maybe?"
Carolyn and Lisa both nodded their approval and Juliet said, "I'll have some, but only one glass. This may sound strange for a winemaker, but I don't like to drink that much as a rule and not this early in the day."
"That's not a bad thing," Lucia said. "Some people drink way too much."
Juliet realized that Lucia had probably been referring to herself so she said nothing more on the subject of drinking. She remembered her promise. No one else commented on what Lucia had said and the next ten minutes or so were spent discussing the menu and deciding on what they all wanted for lunch.
AFTER THEY ATE and chatted for an hour and a half, Lisa gathered a baseline of facts about the winery from Lucia and began interviewing her for the article. Lucia's anxiety about what Lisa might ask her subsided gradually as she realized Lisa's questions were strictly focused on the winery. Any questions about her past were not of a personal nature and they were easy to answer. Based on Lisa's chosen questions, Lucia was certain Carolyn had asked her to tread carefully and stick to the present.
When Lisa asked why she had come back home Lucia didn't get upset. She simply told her that she'd grown weary of city living and her stressful job. She didn't mention how it had taken a tragedy to transform her life and open her eyes to the fact that she'd been living contrary to her true nature. The dog-eat-dog world she'd participated in had forced her to do things to people she would never have done, things she never wanted to do again. She told Lisa she loved the laidback way of life and the natural beauty of the Finger Lakes. It was where she'd been planted and she had simply come full circle.
"What made you decide to open a winery?" Lisa asked.
"I've had an interest in the Finger Lakes wine industry ever since I was old enough to know it existed. The industry has tremendous growth potential and I'm excited to be on the ground floor so to speak. I'm business oriented and it's the business around here. And I enjoy the fact that it's competitive, but in a good way."
Lisa was about to ask another question when Lucia said, "Every wine we produce is a personal expression of who we are. My brother and I find it gratifying to own our own land and produce something tangible from it, something worthwhile. This is a way for us to give to the community we love." Lucia reflected upon the truth of what she'd said and realized that only since the arrival of Juliet had she started to feel any of the gratification she spoke of.
Lucia got through the rest of the interview without any problems. Now and then she glanced at Juliet who seemed engrossed in her answers. Whenever their eyes connected, they smiled warmly at each other.
Once Lisa finished Lucia's interview, she moved on to Juliet. Lucia watched Juliet as she answered questions with her usual eagerness. She was passionate about winemaking, but it was obvious that she didn't like touting her own praises. Her cheeks were rosy, her hair a bit curlier than usual, and she had an endearing habit of repeatedly tucking one wayward piece of hair behind her right ear.
"What are you hoping to accomplish at Casa Parisi?" Lisa asked.
"My first priority is to make great wines for the Parisis." Juliet paused, tapping one finger on her lips as though formulating her next thought. "I'm also interested in training students and becoming involved in political decisions."
"One last question. Where do you see yourself five years from now?"
"I see myself right here. I'm the head winemaker of an extremely successful winery and I'm standing next to Luke and Lucia in front of our impressive display of medals and awards." The next part was related with a sideways glance at Lucia. "I can see my picture on the cover of a wine journal with a caption that reads, 'Meet Juliet Renard, winemaker of the year.'"
Lucia noticed that the color in Juliet's cheeks had deepened. In all probability, she would be married and long gone in five years. Juliet had told her at dinner that she dated only occasionally and wasn't serious about anyone, but Lucia knew that could change in an instant. All it would take was a look, a touch, or one fiery kiss to turn her world upside down. The inevitability of it made Lucia sad. Her fondness for Juliet deepened with each passing day and the knowledge that she would someday leave them was hard to take.
"What is it?" Juliet asked as though she'd read Lucia's face.
"Nothing. I hope your five year plan comes true."
"I have a feeling it will."
Lisa turned off her digital recorder and sat back. "I think I have what I need. If I happen to think of anything else after I start writing I'll call you."
"We should head out soon," Carolyn said. "It's getting late and my mother wants us to stop by on the way home."
"I'm ready to go whenever you are," Lisa said. "Juliet, I'll call you in a day or two about that tour and wine tasting you promised me."
"Whenever you want to come is fine." Juliet stood up. "I enjoyed this and thanks for lunch, Lucia. I'm going back to the cellars to take care of a few things before I leave." She said goodbye to Carolyn and Lisa, hugged them and walked away.
"Lunch was delicious," Lisa said to Lucia as she got up. "I'll let you know when the article is coming out, assuming some
one will publish it."
Carolyn made a face as she rose to her feet. "That's ridiculous."
"I know, but one should never assume," Lisa said.
"Pay her no mind, Lucia. She always says that and they always publish every article she writes without exception."
"I'll walk you to your car." Lucia hooked her arm in Carolyn's. "I'm so glad the two of you came this afternoon. Let's get together again real soon."
"We will, I promise. I'll call you next week," Carolyn said.
When they got to Carolyn's car, Lisa got in the driver's seat while Carolyn lingered outside for a few private words with Lucia. "How have you been?"
"Better. I'm doing better."
"I'm glad." Carolyn looked at the car. "I have to go, but don't hesitate to call me if you need to talk to someone. We can go out, just the two of us."
"That would be nice."
"I loved having lunch with you and Juliet. As far as I'm concerned, you have one of the best wineries and winery restaurants on the lakes, if not the best."
"That means a lot coming from you," Lucia said. "And Juliet is making amazing wines for us. I'll tell you about them when I talk to you again."
"Better yet, I'll come with Lisa and taste them," Carolyn said. "I'm happy you hired Juliet and I hope you like her as much as we do. She's extremely smart and she's very attractive don't you think?"
"Without a doubt," Lucia said. "What are you up to?"
"Nothing. I only said it because it's true."
"We're becoming friends, but that's the extent of it. If you have any ideas forming in that head of yours, get rid of them. She's straight, remember?"
"So she thinks," Carolyn said. "So we all think."
"What does that mean?"
"Let's just say Lisa and I have wondered whether she really is."
"No matter what she is, it's no concern of mine," Lucia said. "And don't go thinking I need you to find someone for me. I'm not ready for a relationship."