Chapter 11: Anything But Tennis
“What shall we do today?” Dora asked as I shifted my weight in the plush recliner tucked along the far corner of the balcony. My eyes were covered with two round slices of cucumber. I had removed them from my salad the night before and kept them in the refrigerator for such purpose.
“I don’t know. Do we need to decide right now?” I asked thinking of how wonderful it would be to laze in the sun with no worries for the entire day.
“How about we find something that will offer us a bit of a workout?”
I shrugged my shoulders realizing with great misfortune, that it was in fact Dora’s turn to choose.
“Golf? Do you play golf?”
I froze at the question. Did I golf? I did but I was officially the most reluctant golfer in the world. I had taken lessons so as to bridge the gap between Travis and myself only to realize my efforts were a huge waste of time.
“No, golfing is NOT my thing,” I said.
“Okay…” Dora replied. “We could join a volleyball game along the south beach….”
I shrugged my shoulders, crinkling my nose to discourage.
“You know what I think?” Dora asked. “I think you’re just afraid of a little competition, that I’ll outshine you…and then you’ll be embarrassed.”
I snickered as I lifted the cucumber wedges from my eyes and glared at her in a sort of posturing. Spain’s brown eyes narrowed as if my attitude was the perfect fuel to propel the challenge.
“You know it is MY turn to pick.”
“Just not tennis,” I announced with distaste while rolling my eyes.
Dora smirked sheepishly. “I pick….tennis!”
I released a sigh of frustration as Dora began to laugh.
“Can I change my vote to golf?” I asked as Dora folded her arms and shook her head no.
“Shuffle board maybe?” Again Dora shook her head.
“Volleyball would be okay I guess.” Dora mouthed the word “no.”
“I didn’t bring anything for playing tennis.” I said. “I don’t even have a racquet.”
“That’s okay. I have unlimited resources…I’ll call down to the front desk,” Dora announced in a “take charge” manner.
I sighed.
Within the hour I was standing on a tennis court that overlooked the eastern shores of Whispering Falls Island. Although the sun was rather unforgiving, the breeze from the ocean more than compensated.
Throughout my life, I had never before been outfitted in such a grand manner. My tennis dress was a professional sport’s design. The brim blocked the sun from view, but was not restrictive, and the tennis shoes were light, supportive and felt as if they were made specifically for my feet. The racquet was a foreign brand and ridiculously expensive, the equivalent of six months of rent for my Lincoln Park apartment.
I smiled as Dora sauntered onto the court. Her hair was tied back almost so tightly that the arch of her eyebrows were stuck in a surprised expression. Unlike my light colored clothing, she chose darker colors that I believed no matter what the garment’s fabric blend, it was certain to absorb heat. Although the earth tones flattered her beautiful olive complexion and dark hair color, the choice was impractical.
“Are you ready for this?” Dora asked all serious.
“I just want to warn you, it’s been a while since I’ve last played tennis. I’m not even sure if I remember how.”
“Oh, you Americans, always full of excuses as to why you can’t do something.”
I nodded trying to ignore Dora’s lip. She was of coarse goading me.
“Can we warm up a bit? Seriously, I’m out of practice.”
Dora shrugged her shoulders as if she was saying “so what” in response.
“Okay then,” I said with a tone of frustration. “Let’s toss to see who serves first.”
A few people meandered to the bleachers and perched themselves. Dora Alavaro was well known and it was my guess they were hoping to witness her competitive nature.
Dora bounced the ball on the surface a few times, tossed it into the air and swung heavy in perfect form. It was apparent that she knew what she was doing and had probably spent many hours throughout her life playing.
The ball however hit the net and fell in on her side. Dora made a face. She repeated the pattern and in a blink the ball went sailing over to my side, so swiftly that I missed it.
“Lucky shot,” I announced.
Dora smirked as she moved to the other line and began tapping the ball onto the surface. “15 love.” She said with great pride. I could sense by her attitude she was thinking that I would be an easy conquest.
This time when she served, I lobbed it back. The ball was in but the arch and speed of the return gave the impression of a weak player.
Dora slammed the ball back. Again, I countered with a slow, high lob.
Dora slammed the ball back cross court.
I positioned the ball to land just on the outside of the net in the front upper corner. Even though the ball was returned in a slow speed, it was impossible for her to make it in time. Two bounces and the point was mine.
“That was a lucky shot!” Dora exclaimed as the group behind us cheered.
Dora won the first game and the second but the third game I managed a win. With each game, I returned every shot with an impression of limited ability and yet I was running her around the court without mercy.
When the match score reached 4-2, her lead, I said to Dora and to the growing crowd that had settled in to watching our match, “Why don’t we make this a bit more interesting?”
Dora smirked realizing that she held an advantage at least for the first set.
“Okay America, what do you have in mind?”
I shrugged my shoulders flashing my most innocent smile. “Um, how about a hundred dollars and the loser must publicly announce humiliation?” I suggested.
Dora gazed at me with surprise and then began to laugh. “Are you sure you won’t mind parting with money and your pride?”
“I’m willing to,” I said. “Are you?”
“You’re on!”
“But we only finish this set. The winner of this takes ALL!” I suggested.
“Carmen, are you loco? Has the sun been baking your brain or something? Need I remind you, I AM ahead! I just need to win two games here and quite frankly; you’re not that great of a player. No offense but it seems as if you’re sacrificing yourself to me.”
“What are you a-f-r-a-i-d?” I asked with a challenging tone and a chuckle.
“No, no…not an Alavaro…we are a people of great courage.”
“So…are you in or what?”
“Okay, okay…” Dora said as a gentleman sitting front and center began to laugh at our banter.
“It’s your serve,” I said.
As Dora tossed the ball to begin, I transferred my racquet from my right hand to my left. When the soaring ball ricocheted fast off the court, I slammed it back. The force was unexpected and Dora remained frozen as the ball zoomed past her with an English spin. For a moment she gazed at her racquet as if the strands had disappeared and she was playing with an empty frame.
Needless to say, I won that game putting me at 4-3. The next game was pretty much the same except she missed two points failing to return my skillful serve. All of a sudden we were tied 4-4.
“Are you ready to quit Alavaro?” I asked.
“Me quit? NEVER! Let’s do this!”
Dora with all of her power, grace and strategy served the ball. Instead of landing as it had been at the far right of the box with predictability, it veered left. I moved with great speed but the change in approach had gotten the better of me.
“Lucky shot.” I announced.
“Lucky shot…” She mimicked while tilting her head back and forth in snide. There was much laughter from the stands at her display. Dora and I both exchanged a chuckle hinting that her show was all in good humor.
On the next serve I wa
s ready for her and slammed it back without fear. We volleyed back and forth for a good bit until I scored the point.
The game was close, she would gain a point and then I would…over and over again. I managed to pull it off giving me the 5-4 advantage.
On the last game of the set, it was my serve. By that time, I was feeling tired. It had been a while since I played. The last had been at the North Pier Country Club Tournament and I happened to pull off a very nice win. The huge trophy sat for a long time on the mantle in our front room. Travis never said much since he played in the singles men’s competition and did not make it past the first rotation.
While he was at work in those early years, I spent many hours playing tennis and benefiting from private instruction. I learned early on to play it cool, to never give away my strengths…to always use the element of surprise...but more importantly, I learned that unlike most, my left arm held more power than my right.
With only one round of volley and the rest of the points accomplished through aces, or rather serves that she could not possibly return, I stood front and center with my hand extended towards Dora. I had won the match and our wager. Dora was perspiring and winded as the small crowd began clapping and cheering for a game well played.
Dora grinned at me knowingly. “You hustled me!”
I began to laugh in a teasing way to antagonize her.
“You acted like you didn’t even want to play tennis. You conned me!”
“Me?” I questioned all innocent. I then winked as we shook hands.
“Oh and Dora?”
She tilted her head and eyed me with curiosity.
“Make sure when you admit defeat, you mention how I AM a much better tennis player than you are!”
Dora’s eyes widened with shock as she nudged my arm and jokingly said through her thick accent, “Oh you…” which of course was something I would have said in turn.
Chapter 12
The Grand Resort
Whispering Falls Island
This week has been lovely. I wish I could pack the penthouse, the beach, the waterfalls, room service and Dora in my bag and carry it all home. I dread returning back and wish I could afford to remain here indefinitely. I’ll once again have to face that lonely apartment and the impersonal practice of living in a city full of strangers.
The past weighs heavy on me and I’m thinking about Travis. He and I spent the last year living together but in different rooms. We worked to split ten years of memories into boxes, bags and charitable donations. The only thing left to debate was what to do with the photo album. The better times were captured in the beginning. There was love between us, all warmth and smiles. Travis’ arm was often wrapped around me and that connection I believed to be sincere. I’m not sure when it all changed, but with the turning of the pages in that blasted album, the growing distance between us is noticeable. In those final photographs with his family, I’m on one side of them, while he is on the other. We are disconnected. I feel sad…it all fell apart and I wish it didn’t have to end that way.
The divorce was hard; it still brings me down. I’m struggling with how it all played out and the long term effects of the final ruling. During mediation I sat across from Travis as that angry vein on his forehead protruded and he argued as to why I was not entitled to my fair share of our assets. His aggression and heartlessness was too much. The things he said and how he said them pained me. His insults were so hurtful and when the final decision leaned in his favor, I was devastated. It all seemed to validate him. He is SO cold hearted. I can’t believe I spent ten years with that man, a decade of my life and all for what?
I should have insisted on a formal court proceeding, I should have shown more backbone. I placed too much trust in my attorney and I was stupid for allowing Travis to convince me that he would take care of me. He took care of me all right; he chewed me up and spat me out.
I could kick myself for crying that day, I tried to hold my emotions in and yet my tears betrayed me. In the end, it all led me to question why it was he married me in the first place. He was such a manipulative snake except I didn’t see that side of him until it all fell apart.
I wish I didn’t miss his family so much. My mother-in-law Edna, my sister-in-law Julie…they were my Tuesday afternoon “lunch and shopping buddies.” We’d frequent Water Tower Place and browse from store to store. I really miss that, I really miss them.
Travis’ brothers always treated me well too. We’d joke around. They made me feel welcome. His brothers Tye, Keith and Vic often teased me and sometimes the teasing would border on flirting. This occasionally caused a tiff between them and their wives and between Travis’ Brother Keith and his girlfriend Maggie. It was all just in fun, except their better halves didn’t like it very much.
Of course after such instances Travis warned me that I needed to avoid his brother’s antics. He blamed me, suggesting that I was more at fault than they were for he believed that I encouraged such attention. I think in hindsight, Travis resented not being the center of their world. There were occasions it did seem as if they favored me over him. Since he wasn’t an easy person to get along with, I can certainly understand why. That’s all water under the bridge now.
If only I could’ve divorced Travis and stayed married to his family…if only…
I’ll miss the parties that my mother-in-law was famous for. Edna’s house was large enough to hold many guests and the laughter, the activity and the spirit we shared around the holidays was some of the best times of my life. It was really something to look forward to…having family like that…acting silly without any judgment from them.
I remember the New Year’s Day gathering a few years ago that we decided to pretend it was summer and take a few photographs near the snow covered swimming pool. Everyone brought their swimwear along and we positioned ourselves as if it were mid July. I perched myself in a reclining chair with my wide brimmed hat and a magazine in hand. Travis reluctantly sat along the edge of the pool with his bare feet dangling into the snow. The temperature was bitter and we all nearly caught the death of a cold but the fun we had was worth it. Even Edna participated and we all joked about becoming part of the Polar Bear Club for a seasonal dip into the frozen waters of Lake Michigan. The picture was framed and sat for a long time above the mantle on Edna’s fireplace.
Growing up the way I did was difficult. Life with my Aunt Agatha and Doug was always so disciplined and controlled. If only I would’ve had a sister or a brother, I believe that would’ve lifted the feeling of solitary confinement, but I was an only child. Thanks to Travis, I enjoyed the huge family experience and when his siblings began having children, it was absolute chaos but in a good way.
I always looked forward to spending time with his family. Travis of course complained about the noise, he was often strung too tight especially if there was some monumental case he was working on. He didn’t handle stress very well and it didn’t help when he made it a habit of pouring himself a few gin and tonics beginning mid morning. I think he was trying to numb out the reality that his brother’s and sisters could have children and we couldn’t. It didn’t seem as if he was actually connected to his nieces and nephews but I think his push to have children had more to do with his competitive nature. He was the sort of person who always wanted what he couldn’t have. It didn’t help that his brother’s picked on him about his inabilities in the bedroom.
Unfortunately, Drinking affected Travis in a negative way. There were instances he would become irate at his brothers, in particular Keith and then he would announce with command, “Carmen, we’re leaving NOW!”
Travis resented Keith because success came easily for him. Keith wrote movie scripts for some of the more popular motion pictures and was sought out in high demand. He drove fast cars, lived in an enormous mansion and could vacation anywhere he wanted to at any time. He usually strung a few different women along, making each believe that they were his exclusively until they found out otherwise and realized he wa
s a major creep.
Maggie was the sixth “serious” relationship Keith had in the ten years Travis and I were married. I could name the long string of his supporting female cast, but because they changed so often, I would have to refer to the notes I took to keep them all straight.
Edna was the most proud of Keith and all of the famous people he associated with. She often bragged to anyone that would listen about Keith rubbing elbows with “so-and-so” while they were in Chicago filming movies on location. I could see how envious this made Travis who had spent most of his life seeking his mother’s approval but never quite measuring up to Keith. I have no doubt that the sibling rivalry Travis carries towards his brother will continue until the day he dies.
Back to the divorce~ It infuriates me that I was forced to settle for less than what I had grown accustomed to. I had given up so much for Travis and for our life together. Helping him through law school, working thankless jobs so that we had health insurance…all for what? I could kick myself now.
My tiny apartment in Lincoln Park is fixed up rather nicely, but it still isn’t the condo overlooking Lake Michigan on the Gold Coast that I once called home. I thought Travis would stay on, but he no longer lives there either. He bought what he described as “a starter home” in the suburbs.
Just out of curiosity, I took a drive out there to gain some perspective on how our divorce affected him. He played the “I can’t afford much card” during our settlement proceedings. Student loans, taxes, the high mortgage on the condo, car payments…is how he told it, so I imagined he purchased a basic starter home in dire need of some work.
When I pulled up in front of his place, I felt as if someone had kicked me in the chest. There was no real suffering on his part. The mansion was huge and impressive, making his Brother Keith’s residence pale in comparison. Travis certainly manipulated the splitting of our assets and made a fool out of me.
Falling Whispers, Love & Curses Page 8