The water splashed as Dora began to giggle. “Are you coming in?” She wondered rather loudly.
I found myself grinning as the moon finally decided to offer a full endorsement to our midnight escapade on the beach.
The water was surprisingly warm, just as the tender heart of Dora after she let her defenses down and chose to live in the moment with me.
It was daybreak when we finally returned to bed…the “Do Not Disturb” sign dangled from the door knob warning everyone away. When I awoke later, our hands were entwined just as they had been the night before when Spain and America staked claim to the uninhabited shores of Whispering Falls Island.
Chapter 18: Spain and the Want for More Territory
Time was running out. I needed a miracle. I was determined to convince Carmen that we could navigate a long distance relationship. The American however, was stubborn in her insistence to keep everything within the boundaries she had set. The mujer insisted that when it was time to go home, we should never see each other again. I wanted nothing more than to make it a long term affair....with the possibility of something more permanent.
From the moment she invaded my space, I was inexplicably drawn to her. I could not imagine returning back to Spain without an American souvenir, I could not imagine returning to my empty life without her.
I chartered a boat and an experienced crew to take us para-sailing. My desire was to show her the world from a different perspective, literally. With the both of us corded together, the huge parachute filled with air and in an instant we were soaring behind a speed boat attached only by a thin lifeline.
The eagle-eye view was absolutely breathtaking. Small puffs of clouds contrasted the afternoon sky. The air was crisp and invigorating. At first we could see our penthouse, with Carmen’s silk robe folded over the railing. She hung it there after rinsing out a mishap with her morning tea. We then observed gulls flying along a similar path and the reality that we were gliding in formation with the birds was nothing less than amazing. There was much tranquility from that viewpoint and I felt an unexpected jealousy towards winged creatures that could “leave the world behind” merely at will.
“I could get used to this,” Carmen exclaimed.
I appreciated the joy reflected in America’s expression as she peered at the vast world around her, pointing out everything as if she were seeing it all for the first time. After the tow rope was fully extended, the boat was but a tiny speck that we were attached to. It seemed impossible that something so far away was keeping us in flight, but it was. If only we could remain there, in unity, soaring, discovering and enjoying life attached together. Eventually, we all must come back down once again…eventually we must all find our footing walking our own distinct path forward.
Onlookers sunbathing along the beach waved as we hovered overhead.
“I’m betting they are calling us “peeping Tom’s.” I joked.
Carmen chuckled and I could only respond with an equal portion of laughter. My heart was pumping with pure adrenaline. There was sweetness in the way she held my hand from the moment of take off until our feet returned to the sure footing of the boat platform. Landing was not as easy as taking off for we skidded and bounced in the water as the tow line was being reeled in. Carmen used those dips along the surface to splash me with playfulness whenever she had the chance. I so adored her mischievous side and gladly reciprocated the favor.
I wanted to tell her that we flew in unity because on every level we were, but I was hesitant, not wishing to place any more pressure on the time we had left. I needed to accept our time together “living in the now” instead of working to negotiate more. Oh, how I wanted to negotiate more.
“If I live a hundred years, I will never forget this experience.” She exclaimed as we cuddled close on the ride back. We had wrapped ourselves in a large towel but the chill remained committed.
I followed the flight with a shopping excursion sparing no expense at outfitting her in the most elegant blue-gray evening gown. The cost was three times what I paid for my black design from Paris. The matching shoes offered her lift, elegance and style. Above all, they fit her feet. We could not locate a proper handbag but I offered to have one made and shipped to her in Chicago sometime in the near future. She saw through my offer as an attempt at extending this week into something more. She was correct, if I had her address, that would be that, and I would use it.
“Nice try,” Carmen exclaimed with a wink and a playful grin.
Sporting our elegant evening attire, we tried them out Paris style. Before we left the penthouse for the nightclub, I presented two shots of courage. I reached forward, lifted the shot glass, and tilted my head all the way back with the rim of the glass upon my lips. I handed Carmen the double of it.
At first I believed she was going to refuse, but she tilted back mimicking my example. Her eyes widened with surprise as the heat flooded her senses. She opened her mouth shaking her head back, surrendering herself to the fluid and its effects. She blinked her eyes a few times in an attempt to restore her composure. I knew from her expression that she could not determine if she was grateful or not.
In a few short minutes, Carmen shoved me against the wall and her lips met mine with great passion.
“Not now, not now, save it for dessert…” I pleaded feeling light headed and breathless. She stepped back with an expression of acceptance, smiled and then adjusted her hair. This night together was filled with many possibilities and the lovemaking would be the icing on the cake, the magnificent sunset after the most beautiful summer’s day.
She grabbed my fingertips as we moved towards the elevator placing them to her mouth in the most delicious manner. Her face lit up with a peculiar animation. She was flying high for the second time that day.
“You look like a million Euros,” I said.
“That’s good, right?” She responded.
Carmen then announced in a breathy voice, “You know what I see before me?” “The most exotic beauty I’ve ever met and if I lived to be a hundred, I would never tire from looking at you.”
I smiled demure, not accustomed to such compliments. Throughout my childhood, even if someone extended nice words to me, Laura would barge in and take those words hostage. It was not easy growing up with her at my side and I eventually learned that my self worth was never contingent upon what others thought of me. For some reason, Laura always wanted her portion and mine as well. My sister Laura and her self-centeredness, well…that was then and this was now. In truth, my heart raced from Carmen’s praise and I would gladly cherish all that was given.
Carmen and I shared a mutual grin as we entered the club.
The dance floor was crowded and we took a place along the far corner. All eyes fell upon Carmen for there was no longer any doubt on who she was or what she wanted for herself. She emitted great charisma and was truly all Hollywood. We danced, now did I mention how we danced? We slid, hopped, touched and twisted reflecting high energy. Only briefly we would pause to share a quick drink between songs.
At one point, Carmen led us to the adjoining bar for Karaoke. With a sense of uncertainty, she filled out a sheet and offered one to me.
"Oh no, you're on your own here." I proclaimed. "Singing is really not something I’m good at...but if you want to, please by all means, do."
Carmen grinned sheepishly, "I've always enjoyed singing except Travis criticized me relentlessly. So if I stink, please...please, be kind to me regardless."
I took the request and folded in a large bill so that Carmen's form would be considered before the others in line. We only had to tolerate two off key performances before Carmen was introduced.
She gazed about the room, full of sparkle, full of life. On three huge monitors lining the walls, her image projected in real time. In noticing this, her face suddenly tensed with uncertainty as the music began.
"This song I dedicate to someone special that I only met this week....Clyde...THIS is for you!" Carmen said raising her
hand in my direction, extending sincere warmth and charm.
Her eyes then connected with mine as she swallowed hard, took a deep breath and began to bellow her tune.
The place fell into an immediate silence transfixed. Her presence on stage was undeniably captivating.
"You drink your coffee and I'll have my tea,
No promises sugared between you and me.
The great wealth we carry is all in the now,
Make no mistake, we'll mesh together somehow."
When Carmen finished, not only did everyone applaud, but they stood up and shouted praise to her as well as ear piercing whistles of approval. She was elated as she sauntered from the stage and to my side. Without reservation, she plastered her lips to mine.
"That was for you Clyde!" she declared.
I fought emotional tears for her voice truly moved me. I had never felt such an intense pride in someone ever before. I realized the great courage it took for her to put it all out there like that. Before me, before the entire world, she revealed herself as vulnerable and as my Bonnie.
"Well?" She asked breaking away from our embrace.
"Oh my gosh..." "Did you hear the applause? You were smashing! I mean it...your voice, it’s beautiful."
Carmen smiled modest.
"Now, let's hit that floor where you shine my love." She said leading us back into the club.
We enjoyed all that the dance club had to offer until they were set to close the doors. Refusing to leave I paid the sound engineer one thousand Euros for two additional songs allowing us exclusive rights.
With complete openness, we touched, kissed and entwined in such a show that caused the dj to throw in a third song free of charge.
On the way back up to the penthouse, there was a quiet anticipation. When others left the elevator, we fell into each other kissing in a wild fit of passion.
“I’ve never had so much fun in my life as I have this week, Dora.”
“Me as well,” I said, not wishing to seem too obvious.
When we returned to the suite, I clicked the remote and an MP3 mix that I had requested earlier began to play. I reached for the bottle of Champaign that I had ordered soon after our first day together on the mopeds. I ordered it just in case we would find something monumental during the week to celebrate. “Us together” seemed to be the perfect celebration.
I poured two glasses as America swayed seductively to the music. Her eyes glistened with anticipation as she lifted her hand in a gesture for me to join her.
If ever there was a moment that I wanted to carry with me always, that would be it. She wanted me and that desire was purely reflected in her playful smile. Carmen was radiant, standing there all striking in her blue-gray dress, the soft color of her golden hair illuminated from the track lighting above…her expression set in a alluring tease… the anticipation as to what would follow…the intensity that was shared between us…living for today since today was all that any of us really have.
"Remember No Poison My Love" filled the air with a slow and honest rhythm. Earlier that evening, Carmen bellowed that tune like no other and she declared me to be “her person” in public, in front of a room full of people, no worries, no regrets...and her bravery as such meant everything to me. My relationship with her was nothing like I had ever experienced before. She in a single week offered me more than Maya had in the fifteen years that I had known her. My heart was full and I finally understood what love to mean.
“Don’t say a thing.” Carmen said as she took me. It was just Carmen and I making use of the thick, white carpeting below us. Without hesitation, I complied, surrendering myself to her completely for there was nothing better that I could add to the most perfect day, the most perfect of moments, the most perfect week that I had ever lived.
Chapter 19: Spain and America: The Battle of Wills
Although invisible to most, when lover’s eyes connect from across a room there is an undeniable exchange…a spark. There may be a crowd of people acting as a barrier in between or the room may only include the couple themselves. No matter, with a simple glance, there is emotion and intimate knowledge conveyed mingling past experiences to future promise.
Remembrances may come to mind, lighter moments; passionate kisses, tender embraces, a private joke…a rich history. In that instant, the mixture flutters and dances riding along the wave of connection. Sometimes there’s a tingle, sometimes goose bumps…and when it happens that way, one can’t help but smile even if that moment is private and lasts mere seconds.
When such spark connects two people from opposite sides of the room or in the case of America and I, opposite countries; “magic.” What I wouldn’t give to have that connection once again. The magical glance was all but an unobtainable yearning for me now.
I felt out of sorts. Carmen had bricked a wall between us and I wanted nothing more than to have everything back to what it was. I was stupid, I messed up and I wished for a two hour rewind so that I could have another try for the better. Of course that was impossible and all I could do now was grovel to make things right again.
Desperation was something new for me. It seemed as if someone pulled the plug and I was here and she was there. The emptiness in between was a sort of frozen solitude for we were sharing the suite together but were now very much apart. We allowed a petty little squabble to impose a glacier between us.
The reason for the battle would soon be forgotten. It was nothing monumental. What filled me with deep regret was how we were wasting quality time that could be used in a lighthearted manner enjoying the moment instead…instead of living such torture.
Carmen was curled on the sofa, clicking the remote, flipping channels with such speed that it was impossible to distinguish anything on the screen. She held one hand on the remote, the other she propped near the back of her head, kneading the length of blonde. She kept her attention focused on the rolling channels before her; obviously unable to control her simmering temper.
I stood in the small kitchen, leaning against the counter-top, sipping iced tea. My eyes remained locked on Carmen. We had just battled over what we should do that evening. I suggested we try our luck at the casino and she was less than enthused. We each had picked something to do that day and so the evening choice was up for grabs.
There was an adorable quality about her as she argued for what she wanted. I had to fight an outright chuckle at her “mad face.” Her forehead tensed to where there was a noticeable crease, her eyes narrowed reflecting fire; her mouth…oh her mouth…lips tight and thin…and they moved with such grace…spilling words with great fervor. She caught me smirking which only fueled her outburst even further.
Now I was being shut out as she flipped, flipped, flipped through the channels. She was not speaking to me and her irritation was apparent.
If only she would gaze in my direction. IF only I could catch a glimpse and work some Alavaro charm. I could sense she wanted to peek at me but she knew as well as I did how with one glance, that would be that. I imagined she’d try to hold an angry look, I would smile demure and then she would melt. The American would be putty in my hands.
It would play out exactly as it had on that first day when she surrendered her vacation to me. I was Medusa and with one glimpse, she would turn to stone…but the problem was, she held all of the power of Perseus over me.
“You know we could go our own way this evening. If we’re not getting along, it may be for the best anyway,” I suggested. My accent was thick and more difficult to control since I was upset.
“That would be FINE BY ME!” Carmen exclaimed.
“So then it’s settled,” I said ignoring her rude tone of voice. “Maybe we could meet later?”
Carmen shrugged half-hearted conveying that I was not in her good favor.
“Carmen, come on, please,” I said moving in her direction in hopes that she would just look at me.
As I moved towards her, she stood from the sofa, clicked off the television and stomped away.
“I need to get ready,” she announced.
Carmen did “the anger thing” to perfection and I stood there thrown. She was just so cute, all mad at me like that…and I was unsure exactly how it all led to an argument in the first place. I was equally unsure about how to fix it.
A moment later, Carmen appeared. She was wearing casual attire. “I think I’ll go to the village for the evening.”
“Okay,” I said observing her stubborn avoidance to look at me.
“Can we meet up later then?” I asked.
“I’m going to say no,” Carmen replied curtly.
“Carmen please,” I begged.
“Have a great time at the casino,” she said with the perfect hint of sarcasm. As she made her exit, she slammed the door with such force that the abstract painting above the sofa dipped off center.
I stood there seeming more alone than I had been in days. I gazed about the penthouse realizing the life-blood of the place was Carmen. The negative energy from our disagreement lingered as if it were a thick aftertaste. As tough as I often made myself out to be, tears began to form in the creases of my eyes.
I rushed to my room and threw on whatever was handy and in reach. For once in my life, I didn’t match. I noticed my reflection in the mirror and there was something untamed about my appearance…something quite opposite of the “always in control” confidence that I was known to project. Uncertainty, insecurity, nervousness, fear…I felt out of control, so much that I slid into the wrong shoes and tore off forgetting my satchel. I left behind money, identification and most importantly the key card to the penthouse.
“Locked out, damn!” I cursed the moment I realized.
It didn’t matter; I was on a mission to catch up with Carmen anyway. I needed to apologize for not taking her seriously, for making light of how she felt and what she wanted. I found myself pushing the elevator button, over and over and over again as if that would make a difference.
“Come on you blasted thing!” I demanded in English.
Falling Whispers, Love & Curses Page 12