I watched her as she delivered drinks, studying her every move. She was captivating. She rarely made eye contact with anyone, but held a smile on her face. It was as if she were using her smile as a mask. She was getting looks from every corner of the room and yet she didn’t acknowledge them at all, or maybe she just didn’t notice.
Resting my elbow on the arm of the couch, I rubbed at the stubble on my face. I liked the fact that she didn’t realize how beautiful she was. She was exactly the kind of woman I went after, the kind who fulfilled my craving. She was unsure of herself and tried to hide it with a smile, but I could see past it. I’d always been able to see past a façade because I also wore a mask every day.
In that moment, I got the urge to break her down. I would approach her and she’d eventually let me in. They always did.
She turned from her last customer and headed in my direction, my glass being the last on her tray. As she approached, she looked everywhere but directly at me. I smirked at her attempt to avoid eye contact.
When she got to the table, the guys quieted as she placed a napkin on the table before setting my glass on top. “Can I get you gentlemen anything else?” she asked.
“Nope, I think we’re good,” Luke answered as he looked around at everyone’s full drinks.
I leaned down and picked up my glass, taking a swig as I watched her tap nervously on the tray she held under her arm.
She nodded at Luke and smiled softly. “If you need anything, please just flag me down. I’ll check on you shortly,” she assured. She looked at me briefly before turning and walking back toward the bar.
The guys and I talked for another twenty minutes before I was ready to go. I wasn’t much of a social person, so it was rare I’d even go out. It all led back to me being self-contained. The more you talked to others on a personal level, the more questions they asked. It was why my weekends usually consisted of fucking. There was no talking while I was pounding my dick into a tight pussy, unless I commanded it.
I downed the last of my scotch and pulled my phone out to check the time. I had numerous missed texts, but noticed one from Rachel.
Rachel: Condo?
I debated on whether or not I should reply. She knew not to text me about meeting. The arrangement was on my terms. I did it that way so she wouldn’t get attached; plus, she’d just been to my condo three days prior. I limited our meets to twice a month, if that. If she was starting to get attached, I’d have to eliminate our time together.
Me: Not tonight.
My phone vibrated with a return text immediately.
Rachel: Message me soon. I miss you.
I sighed at her response and placed the empty glass on the table. I stood up abruptly, causing Luke to stop in the middle of his conversation. “You heading out?”
“Yeah.” My mood had diminished with Rachel’s text. I reached into the inside pocket of my jacket to get my billfold and pulled out a fifty to toss on the table.
Luke put his hand up. “Nah, man, I got it.” He stood up and leaned in to give me a hug, whispering in my ear, “Don’t be a stranger.”
I pulled back and nodded at him. “It was good seeing you again,” I said, more to Drew than Steve, but I shook his hand anyway.
“You, too,” Drew replied with a wave after he sat down. Steve just nodded at me.
I fixed my jacket as I walked off and looked for Emma. I wanted to approach her before I left. I spotted her at the bar putting in a drink order, but her friends were nowhere to be seen.
As I approached, her eyes drifted in my direction for a brief moment before she looked away. With the light shining directly down on her from above the bar, I could see the blush on her neck. All it did was make me want to run my finger over her collarbone where the blush started.
I leaned against the bar next to her and looked over her features again. She was staring straight ahead at the bartender making drinks, ignoring my presence. My lip curved at the thought of how I must’ve been affecting her for her to try so hard not to look at me.
I leaned to the side to get slightly closer to her. “You know, I thought of a way you could pay me back for almost ruining my jacket,” I said softly.
I could see her jaw working as if she was biting the inside of her lips before a small smile appeared and she turned to look at me. “For almost ruining your jacket,” she repeated with an arched brow as she looked at the sleeves of my jacket.
“Yes.” I smiled. “For almost ruining.” I looked down at her shoes then back up to meet her gaze. “You should wear shorter heels. Those seem to be too dangerous for you,” I joked, trying to make her feel comfortable.
She looked down at her shoes and laughed. “You should tell that to my boss.”
“You should have a drink with me,” I blurted.
She looked at me with a soft gasp as the bartender set some drinks on the tray. She glanced toward him and smiled as he walked off. “I… uh … have a boyfriend,” she said softly as she met my gaze, but slowly diverted her eyes to her tray.
I smirked at her comment. It didn’t faze me, and it wouldn’t stop me from pursuing her whether she was telling the truth or not. “That’s a shame,” I replied as I slowly leaned in close to her ear, inhaling the scent of vanilla. “You should make eye contact more often so people can see your beautiful face,” I continued softly.
I pulled back with a smirk to find her eyes fixed on mine, mouth slightly open. I wanted to run my thumb over her bottom lip and devour her mouth, but there were many reasons why that was a bad idea. Just thinking about it was causing my dick to rise in attention.
“I’ll see you soon, princess,” I stated before walking toward the exit. She’ll definitely be my next conquest.
~*~
I sat on the bathroom floor with my head bowed. The workout I had just subjected myself to was grueling, but it didn’t do anything to quiet the voices in my head. Not even punching the bag until my knuckles were raw. The pain felt good, but it was never fucking enough.
Taking a deep breath, I stared down at the white tile as the sweat dripped from the end of my hair. At times, all I felt was emptiness, but that was my life.
Empty.
It was better that way.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to block the images from my mind. Thoughts of my past drowned me, consumed me in the night, and there was no way to get rid of them. Not that I would ever want to. It fueled my hatred, my desire for getting revenge one day.
After a few minutes, I finally stood and headed to the sink. I put my hands on the counter and leaned into the mirror, looking at the man staring back. Some days I didn’t know who would be looking back at me. Who the fuck was Mason Cline, anyway?
A man with too many fucked-up problems to count.
I spun and walked toward the shower. Turning it on, I stepped in before allowing it to get warm. The cold seeped into my body, causing my aching muscles to tense. I leaned my head against the shower wall and closed my eyes as the water turned from cold to scalding hot, allowing my muscles to finally relax.
I’d worked myself too hard. I knew I would. It was a reoccurring battle.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I gripped on to my hardening erection. Running my hand up to the tip, I squeezed it causing a hiss to escape my lips. Images of Emma flowed through my mind: her soft features, dark eyes, curvy figure, and that fucking blush. I wanted to taint her and make her mine. Do things to her she’d never experienced. Make her do things she’d never done.
I pumped my cock harder as I thought of all the things I wanted to do to her.
I will have her.
I craved the innocent ones. The ones who didn’t know exactly what they were doing, but were willing to try anything to please their partner. I loved to taint their purity, explore and do things they might not have done otherwise.
Tilting my head back, I slowed my hand and moaned as my orgasm took control of my body. That one hit me faster than usual. All the pent-up tension from the last week had taken
its toll and giving myself a release always seemed to help. I let go of my softening dick and washed my body before reaching behind me to turn off the water. I needed to get my shit together and get my head on straight.
Chapter 2
Emmalynn
His presence exuded dominance. Adonis times ten. It was as if he was the only one in the room and your eyes couldn’t look away. I tried to avert mine, but they had a mind of their own. Just watching him walk toward me had my insides quivering, hands sweating and breathing increasing. I chastised myself at how ridiculous I was behaving. I had a boyfriend for Christ’s sake, but the fact that I hadn’t been touched or looked at in a sexual way in over a month was taking its toll. And there was that God-like man whispering in my ear that I had a beautiful face. My panties instantly became wet.
And then he was gone.
Becky and Victoria, my two best friends, came rushing over to me to find out what he had to say. I shrugged and told them. “It wasn’t a big deal, really.” There was no way I’d tell them I was stumbling over my own words.
“He was totally giving you ‘come fuck me’ eyes all night, Em. Oh, my God. He was so fucking hot. Why don’t guys that hot ever approach me?” Becky pouted.
“Becky, shut up.” Victoria laughed. “So, did you get his name at least?” she asked me.
“No, but it doesn’t matter. I have a boyfriend. It’s not like anything would happen.”
She shook her head and pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, but if I was about ninety percent sure my boyfriend was cheating on me, I wouldn’t care that I had one. I’d be jumping on that fine piece of ass, but that’s just me,” she proclaimed.
I bit the inside of my cheek as she spoke. It wasn’t something I wanted to discuss while I was at work.
“All right, y’all. I need to get back to work. Are you staying?” I asked them both.
“No. I need to get her home,” Victoria said to Becky.
Becky laughed. “Hey now, I’m not that drunk,” she slurred as she rested her forehead on Victoria’s shoulder.
“Let’s meet for coffee tomorrow, okay?” I grabbed my tray as they nodded in agreement and walked toward the customers who I was sure were pissed for making them wait so long.
A part of me felt bad for being excited about the prospect of a guy being interested. But it had been so long since I’d gotten any kind of attention. My body was starving for it. And with that man standing so close to me, smelling so damn good, he stirred up feelings and wants which had been neglected.
When I got home that night around two in the morning, I noticed Tim still wasn’t home. It was turning into a habit. Some nights I didn’t even notice he wasn’t there, which I knew wasn’t a good sign.
He’d called me earlier in the day to let me know he’d be working late…again. It was something I was used to. He worked for a big accounting firm in New York – a company his dad also worked for. I knew with Tim trying to make a name for himself he’d have to work crazy hours, meet clients, and do everything he’d need to do to get noticed.
But the nights of him not coming home?
It was happening too often. I didn’t want to believe what my friends had suggested. I didn’t want to believe he was cheating on me. Tim wouldn’t do it. We’d been together since my sophomore year of college, but we’d only been living together for a few months. We’d been making future plans. Plans to get married one day. Plans to start a family.
There’s no way he could be cheating on me, right?
The longer I laid there and thought about it, the more doubts started to flow through my mind. Tim was a great guy and I loved him, but was it enough? Could we be missing something in our relationship? I’d had my doubts over the years, more so since we’d moved in together. Not from lack of love, but from lack of spark. I tried not to think about it because it only made me question why I was still there. Maybe I was too comfortable in my situation and was thinking in terms of the natural order of things. Marriage would be next, but was that really what I wanted? How would I react if he was cheating on me? Could I really picture myself marrying him?
Thoughts of the guy from the bar entered my mind. He was so sexy and very tempting. What does that say about me? What does that say about my feelings toward my relationship? I turned on my side and let out a sigh. I had to give my mind a rest or I’d never get to sleep.
I stared at the empty spot beside me and I could feel the anxiety in my chest just thinking about everything. I’d figure it all out eventually, but first I needed to sleep.
~*~
“He’s got to be cheating on you Em,” Becky stated before she placed a piece of blueberry muffin into her mouth.
I was sitting at The Brew with Becky and Victoria. We met the first week of our freshmen year at NYU after being thrown together in a group for our biology course. They’d known each other for years so at first I’d felt like an intruder, but they soon took me under their wing. They introduced me to the nightlife and showed me all the things I’d been missing while living in a small country town in Florida my whole life. They helped me break free from my shell. I’d never been one to put myself out there, but being around them changed all that. I still had my moments, though. I was just so grateful to have met them when I did. My sister, Melanie, lived in the city, but she worked crazy hours. She’d graduated from NYU Law two years before and was finally adapting to her new life as an associate. However, she was so excited when I got accepted to NYU, happy she would have some family close by again.
I looked around the coffee shop. The place was packed, as usual, so I was sure the people enjoying their morning coffee could hear our conversation clear as day. There was a part of me that really didn’t care, though. Since I’d moved to the big city, I’d heard my fair share of interesting conversations. It was its own source of entertainment. Who was I to take that away from the patrons of The Brew? If they wanted to listen, then so be it.
I shook my head and wrapped my hands around my warm mug. “He’s just really busy at work,” I said without conviction.
I didn’t believe the words coming out of my own mouth, but I didn’t want to admit they might be right. I had called Tim when I got up instead of texting. He told me he’d stayed at work and slept on the couch in his office, which I knew was a lie. I’d called his office phone before I’d called his cell and he didn’t pick up. That could only mean one thing in my mind, but I still didn’t have the proof to accuse him of anything.
“Yeah, he was probably busy at work banging his assistant,” Victoria scoffed.
Here we go again. This wasn’t the first time she’d brought up this idea.
“Victoria!” I whisper-yelled.
“What?” she asked with a raised brow. “Come on. You guys hardly see each other anymore. We had this conversation last week when he missed out on your birthday dinner. Something is up. I can feel it. When was the last time you and Tim had sex?” She looked at Becky then back to me with her head tilted to the side, waiting for me to answer.
Some people would find a question like that way too personal to answer, but that was how Victoria was—direct. She bypassed all the bullshit.
I bit the inside of my cheek and looked down at my coffee as I contemplated my answer. I really didn’t want to tell them the truth. That anxiety I was feeling the night before was starting to rear its head. How long without sex was too long? Tim and I were both busy. He had his demanding job and I had school. At least that was what I told myself.
“If it’s taking you this long to remember the last time then it’s been too long,” Becky said with a concerned look on her face. “We’re not attacking you. We’re just trying to help you see the signs.”
“Yeah, the signs that he’s a lying asshole who needs to have his balls chopped off and shoved down his throat,” Victoria added with a smile.
Becky slapped her on the arm, but all I could do was laugh. It really wasn’t a laughing matter, but she always knew how to throw in one of her gibes at inappro
priate times. I think she did it to lighten the mood when things got too serious.
I picked up my plain black coffee and took a sip before letting out a sigh. “It’s been over a month.” I blurted it out as quickly as I could before I changed my mind, and they both looked at me with wide eyes like I knew they would. Victoria opened her mouth to say something, but I held up my hand to stop her from talking.
“I know what you’re going to say. I also know that whatever I say, you are going to say I’m making excuses, but the truth is we’re both busy people. I know our sex life isn’t as fresh as it used to be, but when we’re together it’s still wonderful. Do I feel like something is going on? Yes, sometimes I do, but I don’t have any proof that there is. And it’s not like he’s going to straight-up tell me he’s cheating on me. Maybe I need to make more of an effort toward him and initiate things. I know I’ve slacked off in that aspect, but I’m just always so tired. And now with law school starting on Monday, I’ll really be busy.”
Becky shook her head, causing her short, blonde bob to bounce around her face. “Don’t do that. Don’t be meek. You’re making it sound like it’s all you. Men do not go that long without getting off. Either he’s jacking off a lot or he’s getting it somewhere else. Again, that’s just my opinion, but don’t sit here and say this is all you. It’s not. When’s the last time he initiated something with you? Think about that.”
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