He just felt too damned good to think about what the future would bring.
* * * *
Victor stood at the back of the manor, the chill of the frozen ground seeping through the soles of his hunting boots. He’d spent the morning with Gabriel and Matthew Hawk, the earl’s half brother, but couldn’t seem to focus on the partridge. He’d made some sort of excuse to leave the other Hawks. Gabriel seemed to take him at his word, but Matthew eyed him far too closely. Victor hadn’t spent much time with him, but knew he lived in the dower house very close to the manor. He must know more of the goings on than even the earl, if what Victor had gleaned was true.
Matthew was married to a former parlor maid, a lovely young woman Victor had met at dinner two nights past. There were whispers of another in the marriage, a William both Matthew and his wife Posy spoke of often and with much affection. He didn’t believe it could be the stoic first footman William, though. Victor wanted to ask Cabot if this could true, but gossip was never something he relished. A thought occurred to him then. Was gossip circulating through the manor about him and Cabot? Or worse, the two of them and Violet? Perhaps he should put a stop to it all. The mere thought of giving them up caused a clenching in his heart.
Their last time together, three nights past, had been incredible. He and Violet had loved Cabot until the man came apart between them. His own orgasm had stunned him speechless. He could only watch as Cabot licked Violet and then, remarkably, fucked her so hard Victor nearly felt it. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, he began to stroll.
His mind worked on what Cabot had said the previous time they’d been together. The finality in his tone as he promised Violet to make their liaison memorable. Cabot didn’t need to make an effort as far as Victor was concerned. He would never forget this time. The fact that days had passed without a liaison fueled his need, but not in the usual manner. Yes, his beast was always lurking. Eager for a ride, as it were. Yet this time it felt decidedly different. His cock wanted release but only with Cabot or Violet.
He’d never known his lusts to crave anyone specific. He’d recently spent time around several very good-looking people here at Hawksfell Manor yet there had been no stirring whatsoever. Maids and footman and gorgeous ladies did nothing for his cock or his mind. It was astounding. Only a glance from Violet or a glimpse of Cabot made him rock hard.
The length of their visit at the manor was nearly over now, or it certainly felt that way. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Cabot behind when he and Violet returned to Ralston. He still hadn’t talked to her about all of this, either. He’d managed to avoid being alone with her outside of his guest bedroom, coward that he was. They certainly haven’t discussed what their relationship would be when they took up their previous situation at home. Not that he relished a return to that stilted intercourse while he fucked every servant under his roof. There was the matter of Cabot as well.
Violet was obviously falling for Cabot as much as the man was for her. Their coupling that last night had been a remarkable thing to see but not because they were both so bloody beautiful. It was the kiss they’d shared after the storm ebbed. It had been tender and so sweet he could almost taste it.
He could arrange it so that those two stayed together. He didn’t quite know how but maybe, with his damned Hawk money, he could set them up to have the life he had no hope for himself. Maybe in a pretty little house not far from Ralston. Despite his own flawed nature he knew he wouldn’t be able to bear it if they were far from him. He would keep his distance, of course. It might kill him but he would stay away from the both of them. They were good, sweet people who deserved happiness.
Happiness wasn’t his due. That was certain. As a Hawk he’d never deserved that. His curse was a part of him, and he wouldn’t have them at Ralston while he continued to fuck the staff and ache for release even they couldn’t give him. He certainly wouldn’t marry, as the earl and his brother had. It wasn’t meant for him. Hawks simply didn’t do forever, despite the evidence to the contrary here at Hawksfell Manor.
He wasn’t aware he was crying until the tears turned to ice on his cheeks.
Chapter 10
Violet scrutinized her dress in the glass. It was a pretty shade of purple but she was growing tired of even this half mourning. A stab of guilt struck her. “I’m sorry, Aunt Jane.”
Shaking her head, she picked up her gloves and pulled them on. Ivy was quiet behind her, smoothing the last of the wrinkles out of her dress and brushing off her shoulders.
“Miss, you look lovely,” the maid said.
There was something in her tone, a wistfulness Violet had heard often enough in her own voice. She turned to look at Ivy. “Is something troubling you, Ivy?”
The maid started to shake her head, then gave a quick nod. “Forgive me, miss. I’ve been out of sorts with the holiday coming and all.”
“Do you have no family then?”
“None of import,” Ivy answered. “Oh, my grandmother is still alive, but she is in London and I’m here in Yorkshire. There is no one else close to me.” Her pretty brown eyes went wide. “Oh, don’t think I’m not grateful for my position! To become a lady’s maid in as fine a house as Hawksfell is amazing for a girl like me.”
Violet felt a kinship for this girl despite their difference in status. Violet had no family but Victor, and that relationship had crossed far over from familial. She turned to face the maid fully.
“I imagine you like working for Lady Hawksfell, though?”
“I do. She’s lovely and kind and not demanding in the least.” Ivy smiled and waved her hand over Violet’s dress and hair. “As you see.”
“Yes, I’ve found all the Hawks to be very accommodating.”
Violet’s own statement struck her as odd though, considering just how accommodating Victor had been to her and Cabot during their stay here. So many times she’d loved them both, nearly losing her mind with the pleasure of it. She laughed, a choked sound that brought tears to her eyes.
“Miss?” Ivy touched Violet’s wrist, the gesture gentle. “Are you all right?”
Violet reined her in her emotions with a thread breath. “It must be the holiday. Just two weeks ago I never expected to spend it with family, let alone so many of Vic… of Lord Ralston’s.”
“Lord Ralston is your cousin,” Ivy said.
“Third cousin,” Violet corrected with another laugh. “That seems significant.”
“You care about him,” Ivy said softly.
Violet gave a slow nod. “I do.”
Ivy blinked. “I’d thought that you and…” She waved a hand. “Forgive me, miss. I believed someone else held your heart.”
Violet swallowed. “Someone else does indeed hold my heart.”
Ivy’s mouth dropped open. “Like the countess.”
It was a bald statement and Violet knew in that moment the lady’s maid would know the intimate details of her employer. Lady Hawksfell loved both the earl and Michael Crowley. Her legs going weak, Violet slumped into the chair before the vanity.
“The earl loves both of them?” Violet whispered.
Ivy nodded, her cheeks bright red. “I shouldn’t have spoken of it, miss.” She turned and busied herself with the hairpins on the vanity’s smooth surface. “I suspected he had found someone else.”
Violet’s heard pounded. She had to ask. She simply had to ask. “Who are you talking about, Ivy?”
“Cabot,” Ivy breathed. She faced Violet again. “Cabot fell in love with someone else.”
Ivy was so pretty to Violet. She’d suspected Victor would have wanted to take her but now she believed Cabot had already been with her.
“Were you involved with Cabot?”
“No. Never.” Ivy shrugged. “He is just so pretty, miss. He flirts and teases all the maids, but when I did so in return he went all cold on me.”
Violet felt a smile spread over her face and bit her lip to contain it. This shouldn’t matter. She herself had no hold over
Cabot or even Victor for that matter. Yet she couldn’t bear it if Cabot had done to this girl all the delicious things he’d done to her. Lord, she might be selfish but she didn’t want Victor or Cabot loving anyone but her and each other.
“It’s all right,” Ivy said with a smile of her own. “Cabot found love with someone else, I suppose. There’s no other answer.”
Relief flooded Violet. If a well-connected personal maid in a big house full of gossip like Ivy didn’t know about Cabot’s recent liaisons Violet could be fairly certain no one else did. She took the maid’s hand in hers. “Did you love Cabot, then?”
“No,” Ivy admitted. “He’s just so very pretty.”
“He is,” was all Violet would admit now.
Ivy seemed to remember her situation in the next instant. “Please don’t tell the countess I was passing tales, miss!”
“I would never do that,” Violet assured her.
Ivy’s slender shoulders slumped with obvious relief. “Thank you, miss. I’ll be back this evening to help you undress.”
“There will be no need for that.”
Ivy looked at her in question. Well, Violet couldn’t tell her that in all likelihood she wouldn’t return to her own guest room until well past midnight. She planned to ring in the holiday with her two men.
“It’s Christmas Eve, Ivy. Please don’t trouble yourself with my care tonight.”
Ivy nodded and left the room at last. Over the past few days, as the end of their visit loomed larger, the three of them hadn’t had much chance to relive the sensual magic they’d shared. Oh, there was the one time in one of the empty rooms in the bachelor’s wing the other day.
She’d sucked Cabot’s beautiful cock deep down her throat as Victor had fucked her like mad from behind. It had been too short an encounter in her opinion, despite the incredible explosion of pleasure she’d experienced. She wanted more than that now. She wanted the tender cuddling the three of them had indulged in a few times before. Their bodies snug against hers, stroking and teasing and comforting. She’d longed for affection as well as passion, and for a brief time she’d believed she’d found it. Victor had held her heart for so long and now Cabot was firmly ensconced there as well. He teased her and made her laugh. Incredibly, he made Victor more at ease as well.
It would end and soon, however. This time out of her life would cease and she would once more have nothing. Well, a bit more than nothing. Memories. Sweet, hot memories that made her melt to recall. She glanced in the mirror again and lifted her chin.
“I’ll have Victor’s kinship and a fine home,” she told her reflection. No tender connection to Victor. No Cabot at all. But tonight? It was Christmas Eve and she was going to get the gift she really wanted.
One last time with her two men.
* * * *
The manor was lit with electric lights and many candles. The scent of cinnamon and mulled wine and plum pudding filled the dining room. The table was set with every conceivable holiday delight and crammed full of Hawks and their wives and partners. Cabot moved about with precision as the earl and his family sat themselves and began their feast.
Victor and Violet were turned out beautifully. Dressed formally, Victor was a dark delectable specimen. The gorgeous Violet was clad in a gown the color of her eyes and the many lights and candles caught the gold in her hair. His mouth watered for a taste of her full lips and his body longed for the clasp of Victor’s strong arms. Dragging his gaze from them, he fought to focus on his job.
“William is joining us full-time at the dower house!” Posy said with a laugh. “Isn’t that true, Matthew?”
Matthew Hawk slid a glance at his wife and smiled. “An inopportune moment to make such an announcement, but it is indeed true.”
“Carstairs will lose his sour expression over William’s absence for Christmas Eve then,” the earl put in.
Lady Hawksfell laughed. “Carstairs can be prickly, but he sees to the running of your house, Gabriel.”
Michael Crowley said something in answer but Cabot didn’t catch it. Instead he ran the possibilities through his mind as he refilled wine glasses. William was at last taking up with Matthew and Posy. That left the position of first footman vacant. Cabot knew he was the man next in line for that position. It was what he’d longed for and what he deserved for his faithful service. And yet…
“William the first footman?” Violet asked.
Conversation stilled for a heartbeat, then they all began to chatter.
“Former first footman,” Patrick Hawk said. “More staffing issues for Thomas, I imagine.”
The earl’s man-of-business, Thomas Grantley, shook his head. “I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“Why is that, pray tell?” Derek Hawk asked with a wink. “Diana, why should that be?”
Derek’s wife Diana, a woman nearly as lovely as Violet, just shook her head with a smile. “If the earl has trouble keeping his staff, we shouldn’t tease him, Derek.”
“If the earl didn’t have so many relatives perhaps this wouldn’t be an issue,” Michael Crowley laughed.
Cabot hid his own smile. It was true that every time a Hawk came to stay at the manor one member or another of Hawksfell staff came to find new positions. Usually as wives or partners, if what he’d observed over the past few months could be believed. The lucky William was a prime example of such circumstances.
“Grantley will see that we are amply served, Millicent,” the earl said.
The table murmured their agreement while Mr. Grantley reddened. Cabot backed out of the room before Victor could catch his eye. It was enough being in the room with the both of them. He wouldn’t want either to believe he expected such fortune in his own life. Not love or a permanent pairing with a Hawk and his lovely partner. If he was promoted to first footman he would be grateful for the position and go on with his life as planned.
“Another year, Cabot,” Mr. Carstairs said as he entered the butler’s pantry. “Happy Christmas.”
Cabot smiled at the butler. “Happy Christmas, Mr. Carstairs.”
“Very different from last year’s celebration, isn’t it?”
Cabot simply nodded. Last year there were none but the previous earl and his son, and there was no celebrating that Cabot saw. No, the late earl was a rutting bastard with none of Gabriel Hawk’s care or consideration. He supposed the fact that Mrs. Holmes all but raised him was the cause for their differences despite their shared lusts.
Mr. Carstairs cleared his throat. “I suppose you overheard that bit about William.”
“Yes.”
“It seems you’ll be elevated to his position.”
“I’d be honored.”
The butler appeared pleased by Cabot’s response. “Very good. Go see how the lower footmen are serving. Holiday or no, we have our duties.”
Cabot said nothing more as he left the pantry. All seemed to be going well in the dining room and would no doubt continue into the parlor as the Hawks continued their celebration. After taking another lingering look at Victor and Violet, he went downstairs to the servants’ hall.
He couldn’t guess how late Victor would keep to the festivities but he was eager to have him and Violet again. It seemed like far too long since he’d held them both. Their last encounter had been incredible, a quick meeting in the bachelor’s wing that swiftly led to Violet sucking him as Victor fucked her nice and hard from behind. They’d all come together, in sync in passion.
“Lord Ralston called for you,” Mrs. Holmes said as he settled down at the table in the common room.
He managed to keep his features even as he looked up at the housekeeper. “So early?”
“He didn’t seem to be enjoying the festivities once dinner was concluded.” She smiled. “So many Hawks can be a bit much for a man used to solitude.”
Cabot reasoned she was right on that score. Mrs. Holmes was shrewd and no one cared for the earl and his relatives more than she. Victor had seemed quite isolated tonight, even in a room c
rowded with his relatives and Violet.
Tamping down the hum of lust zinging through his body, he rose and straightened his livery. “Good night, Mrs. Holmes. And Happy Christmas.”
The housekeeper tilted her head to one side, her eyes sharp. “Happy Christmas, Cabot.”
There was more the woman wasn’t saying but Cabot wasn’t going to press her. He’d find himself crying on her shoulder about both Victor and Violet and he couldn’t have that. He nodded and left the servants’ hall for the stairs at the back of the manor.
As he gained Victor’s room, his cock was hard and throbbing. Opening the door, he found Victor stripped and wearing his dressing gown. Thick burgundy draped over his magnificent form and Cabot sucked in a breath.
His dark hair was brushed back from his face and his eyes were intent.
“Victor,” was all he could say.
Victor shrugged a broad shoulder. “I thought I could manage to undress myself and give my valet a bit of a present for Christmas.”
Cabot grinned. “You’re teasing me again.”
“I suppose I’ve learned from you.” Victor’s face sobered then he came closer. “Get naked, Cabot. Our girl will be here soon.”
Cabot didn’t need to be asked twice. He was soon stripped naked, his body aching for release.
Victor eyed his cock and smiled. “Violet will love a ride on that, I wager.”
“What of yours?” Cabot asked, untying Victor’s belt. He stared down at his magnificent length. “Won’t our girl want a taste of you?”
They were close and Cabot could smell him. Could feel his heat. “I’m going to fuck her ass while you take her.”
Cabot nearly came at the prospect. “Do you believe she’ll want that?”
“Both of us inside of her? I know she’s hot and takes everything we give her.”
Cabot agreed. “Perhaps you shouldn’t put it to her quite that way.”
Victor's Vow [Lords of Hawksfell Manor 6] (Siren Publishing Menage Amour) Page 8