“I need to go. See you soon, silver girl,” he said, kissing my forehead tenderly. “Goodbye.”
Chapter Eight
Rekindling
I OPENED MY eyes from my trip down memory lane. He’d been tender. A complete gentleman. The connection we shared during our short relationship still felt magnetized, even in my daydreams. He appeared in my time of need, when I was drowning in my new abilities. A guardian angel. Just as our relationship started, he left without a real goodbye. Maybe he was an ethereal counselor, materializing when people discovered powers they couldn’t control.
Would my feelings for him be the same? Our shared abilities fed the spark between Dan and I. Our unique relationship aside, could I be only friends with Dan? My body ached at the thought. The next time I saw Dan, I knew my body would demand much more than friendship. My heart resisted clearing room for Dan again, but my body could care less about hearts and space.
I sighed.
Maybe it was about time I sought out other psychic friends.
My mind too active to sleep, I closed my eyes and silently repeated my mantra, allowing the silence to close in and my thoughts to cease. Dan had explained the usefulness of quiet time for the brain, as he called it. He said that meditating allows the brain to rest, to take a nap. The brain continuously fires messages to different parts of the body on an unconscious level. Combined with the conscious level, where our minds analyze every detail of life- it’s a never ending loop of information bursts. Like the body, the brain needs to rest. Even while we sleep our minds are active. Meditation allows the mind to be both active and silent.
Fifteen minutes later my body buzzed with rejuvenation. I climbed off the bed to dress in my pajamas. After brushing my teeth, I settled into my bed when I felt a thud. Like something big landed on the balcony.
A huge gust of wind blew through the trees outside my window. I glanced to the sliding glass door and noticed the floor length blinds angled open. My heart hammered in my chest- an enormous shadowy figure stood on the balcony.
Had I locked the door? Did I have time to run out of the room?
I looked again at the figure. Wait. Did it shrink? The apparition looked tall now, but no longer monstrous and looming. A man, like…
Tap, tap, tap.
The intruder knocked at my sliding glass door. Thieves or rapists didn’t announce their presence. But I sprinted to the interior door just in case. Better to get out now and ask questions later. I heard the sliding door open just as my hand turned the door knob to safety.
“Chels… it’s me.”
My hand froze on the knob, but I kept my back to the voice. My throat tightened. I rubbed my eyes.
I’m dreaming.
My throat stung as I fought through the tears threatening to spill.
He cleared his throat.
Not a dream.
Who climbed to people’s balconies and barged into bedrooms like this?
The grains of wood in the six paneled bedroom door swirled in front of me as water filled my eyes. Would he disappear if I looked him in the eyes? Was my mind fantasizing it’s deepest desire? Maybe he didn’t stand behind me, maybe my heart rate didn’t quicken at the sound of his voice. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, refusing to turn and acknowledge the presence.
“You’re okay, Chelsea. You know you’re safe with me,” he whispered in my ear. Warm breath sent familiar soft electric shocks down my spine. I leaned my head slightly and allowed my chest to rise and fall. A brush of warm lips inhaled against my hair.
Wait. My body betrayed my heart’s warnings.
No.
“What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” I asked, the harsh words contrasting with my syrupy sweet tone.
God, I sounded like my Aunt. But my teenage heart had been crushed by this man. His sudden reappearance didn’t deserve a happy reunion.
“Do I have new powers you need to help me overcome? And later you’ll say good-bye with a Facebook message?”
I spun around to face him, glaring at his chest before looking at his closed eyes.
“Your power isn’t something that needs to be defeated. Just controlled. And I’m sure you’re doing a fantastic job.” He took a deep breath as if stealing himself against something. When his amber eyes opened, I felt their blazing heat meet my own. My resolve slipped. I remembered how I felt at 16, young and naive, thinking he was my one true love.
“Ugh!” I stalked out to the balcony, my bedroom stuffy-sweet with mixtures of nerves and pheromones. Glares of car lights, mostly minivans driving to their hotels, filled the street beyond the apartment property.
The sound of the sliding glass door closing made me hold my breath and close my eyes. His presence and a longing hit me like he was the sun and I was a plant hidden in the dark for days.
Determined to compose myself, I kept my eyes closed, focusing on the buzz of distant traffic. Soon I cleared a space in my mind, timeless and lacking space. Dan moved behind me sometime during my silent treatment. I shivered, this time actually from cold and not from anticipation of his touch. His large hands squeezed my shoulders. Thumbs kneaded my shoulders, replacing tension with warmth and relief. Those hands felt better than the most experienced masseuse.
“That feels amazing,” I whispered.
No.
I spun around.
“Daniel Levi, what the hell are you doing here?” I repeated my question. I deserved to understand his appearance in Flagstaff. On my balcony.
“The question is, why are you here, Chels,” he said. “I’ve had work lined up here for some time. What’s with your decision to transfer to Flagstaff? Where did this sudden wanderlust come from? Because, from what I remember, you were as adventurous as a hermit crab.”
My mouth hung open- I couldn’t help it. The conversation veered way off the course I’d envisioned. Did he just accuse me of following him?
Ridiculous.
I took a deep breath to fuel my retort, when that damn woodsy scent mixed with Jamaica filled my nostrils. The scent slammed me senseless, like Wile E Coyote running full speed into a tree, there were probably little tiny stars dancing around my head.
I must be drunk. Drunk on his scent? I shook my head.
Daniel’s mouth parted, and he took a quick breath. His eyes burned like molten honey in the starlit night. He seemed taller than I remembered. He touched my face with the back of his hand, stroking my cheek. I leaned into the touch, and his fingers intertwined with my hair. My body responded, hands reaching for his shirt of their own volition. My mind knew better, but when someone made you feel like you’d die if you didn’t touch them, yeah, your hormones sometimes win.
When his lips met mine, I felt like I’d placed first at a marathon. How long had I waited to touch him one more time, to kiss him again?
His kiss felt like sweet victory.
Though I tried, I couldn’t outrun memories of our time together, and I couldn’t ignore my feelings for him. My reasons for leaving home were to escape my comfort zone, my past. Instead, history collided with me.
We kissed slowly at first, our lips soft brushes of skin. He made a low sound in his chest, and his hands reached for my hips, and as if I weighed no more than a kitten, he lifted me to sit on top of the balcony railing. Any previous restraint he had disappeared. His teeth grazed my lower lip, his tongue demanded entrance to meet my own. Man and lust never tasted so hot. We kissed so hard and fast I forgot to breathe, and I gasped for air as his lips trailed to my neck. I leaned back as he kissed my neck; his teeth grazed my skin. A feeling of weightlessness and freedom and heat filled me in succession. The hand not tangled in my hair reached to my shirt. His thumb pressed against my breast, making me warm to my core.
Someone cat-called from below, “Don’t fall sweetheart!” a guy yelled. Someone else laughed as they joked crudely about how far we could get with me perched on the edge of the railing.
Dan stopped kissing my neck, breathing heavy. “I would never
let you fall,” he said, nuzzling me with his nose. He looked up, his gaze tormented.
I worked at catching my breath. His hands found my hips again and he set me back on my feet on the balcony floor. I smoothed my hair and skirt. Dan sat on one of the red cushioned wicker chairs.
“I’m afraid it’s too late for that, Levi,” I said, joining him on the other chair.
“What are you doing here?” I spat out at the same time as he blurted, “Why are you here?” Eyes narrowed, chests heaving, we waited for the other to answer.
I snorted and shook my head.
“You really think I stalked you on a search engine, Levi?”
He shot me his mega watt smile, perfect white teeth and left cheek dimple. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” he said, leaning forward.
I sighed, staring at the shadowy tree line. Silence hung, thick in the air. Someone needed to talk. Dan appeared out of nowhere. He could start.
“Do you see that tree, Chels?” he said, pointing to an ancient oak among the more predominant ponderosas. As tall as the apartment building. Dan must have used the tree to climb to my balcony.
“Yes,” I said, waiting for his admission. Chelsea, I climbed that tree to see you. Chelsea, I made a huge mistake when I left you years ago, and I had to find you.
Later I’d find out both theories were wrong.
“Do you see all of it? Imagine the entire tree, from the branches, to the trunk, to its root system. Think about the shape, the whole shape. What shape would you call the system?” he asked.
“Ah, well,” I said, concentrating on his question. What sort of admission was this? “I guess a cylinder?”
“Right!” he said, watching me, “The shape starts at the roots, it’s life force going up through the trunk to the branches and finally through the leaves, then down through the ground to the roots again. An endless cycle. It’s called a torus.”
I squinted at him in the darkness, searching for a hidden meaning. But he was in his teaching mode, excited to share his knowledge. Like Dede, always the professor. Rather than argue, I listened.
“Ok, now picture a valley between two hills, and a ball is atop of one and is rolled down one of the slopes.”
I smiled at his enthusiasm for teaching, unsure of the sudden reason for his lesson. “Um, are you trying to teach me Newtonian physics? Not to brag but remember, my grandfather was a physicist and-“
“I don’t doubt your intelligence. Let me explain further. The momentum of this ball keeps it going back and forth up one side of the valley and back down to go up the other side. The ball tries to find an equilibrium but consider the ball a part of a larger force, so momentum is constant. Energy pulses not only through a torus shape but within vectors of the of the torus, searching for equilibrium,” he said.
I squinted my eyes in concentration as I tried to figure out how his sudden interest in shapes and physics fit with our reunion. Maybe it served as a distraction, but knowing Dan, he had an angle.
“So the energy flow follows the torus shape through the tree and spills outside of the tree in a constant cycle. And there are balls of energy within the tree pulsing in and out.”
“Exactly.” He smiled wide and leaned towards me, hands spread on his knees. I couldn’t help but think of where those hands touched minutes before.
“Now imagine the energies of each and every person doing the same, following the same type of pattern. You and I know about emotive energies and auras, but most people don’t even realize these things exist. And if they do know about auras, they probably don’t understand the energy patterns that all living things exhibit. But in the pattern lies understanding; we’re connected, our energies are seeking the same equilibrium. And when complimentary energies align…”
“It’s like magnetism. So… are you saying you’re physically attracted to me?” I said.
Dan frowned and looked away. “I think that’s obvious, isn’t it Chelsea? It’s more than a physical— maybe not the best word in this case— it’s more than a biological attraction, Chelsea.”
“Dan I get it, we have a connection. But I’m more than balls of meta-physical forces; I’m a human being.” I stood, and gazed out at the forested landscape.
Dan opened his mouth, but I cut him off before he could speak.
“My emotional energy can’t handle another cyclonic round of getting sucked in and spit out when you get tired of me. You can’t show up five years later and-“
Dan shook his head. “That isn’t what happened, I-“
“Yeah, that’s what you’re doing. You left me five years ago after a whirlwind of a relationship. Let me quote, ‘Chelsea, I can’t do this anymore. Time for me to get back to reality.’” I spit out the last words, remembering the pain and vowing to shield myself from his machinations. Gripping the balcony railing, I shivered from more than the chilly air.
Dan gave a hollow laugh behind me. “You memorized my dear jane message? I knew I pissed you off. I meant to-“
I turned towards him, arms crossed to retain warmth. “There you go again, talking like a cocky asshole. You don’t know how crushed I felt. I wanted to curl up and die you jerk. Don’t sit there and laugh at me.” I stalked to the sliding glass door to my room, tired of the slippery slope of my reunion with Dan already.
Soft cotton covered my arms as I reached the door. Strong hands on my shoulders squeezed. A darker mood replaced his casual Cali teacher mode. “Look at Chelsea, all grown up and using grown-up words,” he said, turning me around, smoothing the sweatshirt he’d given me. “I had to leave. I am trying to explain to you. You are so-“
Drunk of the tequila shots from earlier, I pushed him away. Stupid lectures about balls and trees and cylinders. Who shows up on balconies and breaks into someone’s apartment to lecture them on metaphysical science?
“Pathetic, yeah I know,” I spit at him. “I exposed my soul to you, then you abandoned me. Now you want to rekindle our relationship based on physics?”
“Chelsea I’m trying to explain-“
“Here’s physics for you, Dan,” I clenched my jaw and glared at him. “For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction-“ I drew my foot to kick him in the knee. Juvenile, I know, but inflicting physical pain in retaliation for the emotional pain I’d suffered sounded like an okay idea at the time. It didn’t get Dan in the position I wanted, though. Dan instantly wrapped his arm under my leg and pulled me forward. Losing my balance, I fell backward, but he used his other arm to pull me against his body.
“It’s not because you’re drunk,” he said through clenched teeth. I struggled to get out of his hold. “You want to know what’s going on?”
My hips pressed into his as I tried to pull away, too distracted to contemplate how well he could read me. His body responded to mine, and I felt his heat. I hated my body for wanting him again.
“Oh I know what you have going on mister,” I said, “And we are not going there - trust me, I am not falling for you this time.”
Dan’s amber eyes seared into mine when he heard this, and he stroked my back as he whispered in my ear. “You don’t have to fall, but it’s too late for me.”
Struggling to control my breathing, I clenched my eyes shut.
“Open your eyes, Chelsea.” His heated breath sent shivers to my toes.
I turned my head from his lips. His mouth moved to my hair, and I could feel his smile.
“You can’t shut me out forever.”
Oh yeah? Watch me.
He kissed my hair, then the top of my ear. My heart pounded. Where would his next kiss land? Wait- no!
“I’ve done just fine since you left.”
Dan let out a grunt of agreement. “You’ve survived since I left.”
Chilly air replaced soft lips, and my eyes flew open, to see his back. What?
The potted blood-red geraniums, separating my side of the balcony from Fia’s, rustled. With lightening speed, Dan lifted me and propelled me behind him.
“Oh shit, my bad.” A disheveled Fia muttered as she registered what we had been doing on the balcony. She rubbed her eyes. “I kept hearing whistling and… wait- what the hell-?”
“Daniel Levi. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”
I scrambled down Dan’s back. How did he move me from straddling his front to hanging on his shoulders so fast? His left hand grabbed mine as if to keep me near him. I smiled and shrugged at Fia, “Hey Fia, this is Dan; he’s an old friend.”
Fia and Dan stared at each other. His eyes narrowed, his body leaning forward as if he perceived a threat from my tiny roommate who stood a foot and half shorter than himself. Fia mouth turned up into a genuine smile, which I’d not yet witnessed. She held out her hand.
“Fia Fox,” she said. “I’m confused, how did you get into our apartment? I didn’t hear anyone buzz in from the security gate…”
Dan took her hand in his own and placed a light brush of a kiss on her knuckles. His left hand never left my own. “A pleasure, Fia. Any friend of Chelsea’s a friend of mine,” he said, emphasizing the word friend. He ignored her question on his method of gaining entrance to our apartment.
“Well,” I said, “Sorry we woke you, Fia. I wondered where you disappeared to earlier after you ditched Kale and I. I guess you were too tired to say goodbye.” A cheap smile plastered on my face, and I blinked my eyes, waiting for her explanation.
“Who the hell is Kale?” Dan said, his grip tightening around my hand.
Fia shrugged. She met my gaze and winked with a mischievous grin. “He’s my on-again, off-again. I thought Kale and Chelsea might, you know, make some sparks.”
Dan looked at me, eyes narrowed. “You went to a bar with a stranger on the second night you came to town? What in all existence were you thinking, Chelsea?”
Had he just channeled Aunt Mer? I ripped my hand from his tight grasp and crossed my arms. “I did not go on a blind date-”
“It’s always semantics with you,” Dan shook his head.
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