I let out a little laugh, and Dan looked at me with raised eyebrows.
“You could find the sunshine in a black hole, couldn’t you, SG?” he asked. I shrugged.
“Defense mechanism.”
He shook his head, then appeared to stop breathing. “Okay, don’t panic. It looks like… we have a little over five weeks.”
When I get nervous, my toes tend to squirm. My big toe and index toe started to fight. I felt a sharp pain. Mental note- keep nails trimmed to avoid bleeding out.
Although no one punched me in the stomach, my gut felt bruised and I my chest hurt. Everything I learned over the last couple of days smashed into my consciousness. Theories collided with my old reality, shattering preconceptions and misconceptions. Time to deal with this shit. Like now.
Do you ever start watching a movie with a big smile, eager to see what the storyline has in store for you? You’re happy as you relax, sit back, press play maybe snuggling in with a bowl of popcorn and good company. Then, you watch the movie, and it is so awful it ruins the rest of your night. You have to press pause, and then you promise yourself never to watch it again. I’m not talking a movie with mediocre acting, or half-ass directing, but movies that portray a part of the human condition with a raw brutality, you can’t bear to watch another minute? ‘Requiem for a Dream’ was one of those movies for me, along with pretty much every horror flick ever made. Sure, you can laugh it off and make jokes about the storyline, but deep down you realize it’s not just a movie. You know these dark corners of humanity are a reality for some people.
But there were limits to the themes my imagination cared to understand.
My imagination had happily compartmentalized all I’d been learning about myself, storing away the legends, the powers, the demons. Dealing with one crazy idea at a time was easier. I always thought I could take the knowledge out of storage later to prevent the overwhelming confusion from weighing on my heart. But now, a deadline loomed. And instead of compartmentalizing the insanity, my mind threatened to snap.
Again, I thought of my mother.
In a little more than a month I had to figure out exactly what I was, how to save the world. There were apparently people who had the opposite goal of mine- people who wanted to kill me to prevent me from completing the ritual. I may not survive the next month ahead, and if I did, would I survive whatever this ritual entailed? Dan wanted me to forget about the pahana business. Urged me to turn away from it twice in the last couple of hours.
Why?
What was he not telling me?
Dan handed me a glass of amber colored liquid. The swirling liquid reminded me of his eyes. I looked at him; the fear must have seeped out of my bones because he clinked his matching glass to mine.
“No more talking tonight. Drink up, SG. There’s time for the rest of the world tomorrow, but tonight… tonight belongs to us,” he said. His eyebrows raised, daring me to comply. Tipping my head, I gulped the double shot of whiskey along with Dan. The sting on my throat stole my breath.
I didn’t know any more about Dan than I did of myself, my Aunt, or Hopi legends. But he tended to materialize when I needed him most, and I needed his tenderness now. We cared about each other. That’s what mattered now. Questions about tomorrow could wait.
My heart thudded. “May I see your wings again?”
Dan chuckled and poured more whiskey into his glass. He shrugged off his still unbuttoned shirt. “Since you asked so nicely.”
My mouth dried as I admired his muscled abs and chest again. Then in a whoosh, his black wings were displayed behind him.
“Will I have wings, too?” I shivered. How did angels learn how to fly? It’s not like when you learn to drive and can pull over and say, “Eh, this is too difficult, that’s enough for today.” Were they like birds, and learning to fly was a do or die experience? Did little baby angels practice flapping in their little angle nests, until the mama angel nudged them out of the nest and they either smashed onto the ground or flew with grace? The disturbing image made me giggle.
Dan shook his head with a grin. “I have no idea if you’ll grow wings. Angels are born with them, so maybe not. And what’s with the giggling, are my wings not impressive enough for you?” he said.
He sauntered to the counter and sipped his whiskey. I shook my head, staring at his muscled back and the five-foot black wing span behind him.
“Your wings are enormous, and… hot,” I said. Comments on the size of wings seemed appropriate, but his were the only ones I’d ever seen. If demon guys were anything like human guys, then assurances about their splendor should be pleasing. His chin lifted at my comment, but his back remained turned as if knowing I enjoyed the view. I strolled towards him; my fingers stroked the fine feathers at the top of both of his wings.
“If you keep that up, then I can’t guarantee your innocence tonight,” he said, looking over his shoulder with a smirk.
I laughed again. “Dan, my innocence disappeared a few years ago.”
(Thanks to a night of dancing at gay club with Seema, shortly after Dan left. She had thought a gay club was a safe way to dance away my frustration. On the smokey dance floor, I had met a guy in leather pants named Nate, who knew how to dance, and apparently swung both ways. He knew how to use his hands, too, among other things. It had been a one night stand, but I could imagine there were worse ways to lose your virginity than to a handsome bi-sexual with incredible rhythm.)
The glass Dan held shattered. Crystalline sounds of shards hitting the granite counter were the last thing I heard before Dan turned in a millisecond, pulling me to his body.
“Quit thinking about him. Or I’ll find him, and kill him,” he whispered, voice low and dangerous. His body tensed, and I moved my hands up his muscled arms, feeling their hard heat.
“Relax, big guy. I wished he was you the whole time,” I said. “I wanted you to be my first, but you took off and abandoned me, remember?” I laced my hands behind his neck and kissed the hot skin from his shoulders and up his neck. He tasted like man and heat.
“My toughest choice, but my favorite regret,” he said. Then he grasped my face with his large hands, and his thumbs caressed my cheeks. “No more regrets tonight.”
Then we became a tangle of arms and wings. Gravity became irrelevant. We kissed on the floor, on the counter, my shirt stripped off somewhere near the ceiling beams. Later, I understood the need for lofted ceilings in a demon’s home. We fell, or I should say I fell, and Dan lowered himself, to the king sized bed, my heated skin cooled by the silky soft red sheets. My reprieve from Dan’s heat short-lived as he propped himself over me. His body emanated more than heat- desire, need, all making me ache for more.
One hand twirled with my hair, and his other hand caressed my breasts, then traced a circle around my belly button. My breath hitched, and the need became too great. I wanted all of Dan, and from his breathing, I figured he was reaching his limit as well.
When his fingers fulfilled some of the need, I found my voice. “Please, Dan, I need you.”
My back arched as his thumb rubbed and his fingers worked me in and out. My last coherent thought was Dan knew how to do much more with his fingers than Leather Pants. Then Dan pushed himself inside of me. We found a rhythm, hard and fast, and I cried out as I found my release and stars exploded behind my eyes.
Dan’s triumphant smile, floating (or flying?) through the room, and later contented sighs and kisses completed what I can only describe as the experience to which I would compare everything good, ever again.
The next morning I woke with a feeling of anticipation, and a little more confidence in my step. Hopping out of the warm bed, bare skinned, I found my clothes scattered through the small cabin. I could only find one boot, though. Tossing the clothing in the bathroom to re-wear after a shower, I glanced at my phone and saw a text from Aunt Mer. I sighed.
Although I did have some serious chatting to do with my Aunt Mer, I didn’t look forward to the confrontation. I f
elt betrayed. Why did she make me feel like I was an anomaly when I first developed my powers? Despite the feelings I had with Meredith’s handling of the situation, I knew I had Dan on my side. His presence gave me the hope required to get through anything.
Since Dan still snored in the lofted bedroom, I walked to the kitchenette. A single serve espresso machine seemed to cry ‘good morning!’ next to a toaster oven on the counter. The fridge held fresh milk, along with the usual standard stock, including grapefruit and a block of some kind of cheese. I found the espresso pods and steamed some milk.
Sitting on the overstuffed sofa, I sipped the latte. My body felt languid and my heart content. Morning forest birds sang happily outside. The idyllic setting made me smile. A cabin in the woods. Almost perfect.
The cabin didn’t have a television, so I pulled out my cell phone and texted Seema.
so… I ran into Dan
the moron from hs?
Lol. the very same
My phone buzzed. The living area of the cabin wasn’t far from the bedroom loft in the cozy cabin, and I didn’t want to disturb Dan’s slumber.
can’t talk right now
Dan embraced me from behind the sofa.
“Good morning,” he murmured into my neck.
“Yes, it is,” I smiled. Despite everything, this was the most peaceful I’d felt in a long time.
“Don’t move a muscle. I’m going to make breakfast.” He nipped my ear.
I squealed, then sighed as I leaned into his lips on my cheek.“Oh, it’s all right. I can eat a grapefruit or something.”
“Nope, I’m making the works. Go back to texting or playing Words with Playas or Angry Piggies or whatever it is you kids like to play.”
“Please, don’t start with the generational gap,” I said, hitting his arm as he walked away. “I’ve decided I don’t even want to know how many centuries separate us.”
Dan winked at me. As he prepared breakfast, I sent a text to Fia to let her know I’d be home shortly. Although she seemed to worry mostly about herself, I still felt obligated to check in.
I decided to freshen up before breakfast. The bathroom was small but luxurious, like the rest of the cabin. My feet warmed as I stepped onto chestnut colored tile, and I realized the floor was heated.
Fluffy sapphire colored rugs carpeted the tile floor near the shower, and matching towels embroidered with wolves hung from wooden towel rods. I inhaled the pleasant aroma of citrus and pine, savoring the contentment.
After the shower, I dressed in my clothes from the day before. I looked in the medicine cabinet for some lotion. A hairbrush with blonde hair caught my eye. I narrowed my eyes. Dan’s hair wasn’t that blonde. Whose brush was this?
I shook my head. I had no idea who owned this cabin. Maybe it was a friend of Dan’s. Deciding to ask before I jumped to any conclusions, I walked out into the kitchen area and sat at on one of the bar stools.
Dan dressed the breakfast plates with a sprig of cilantro. “Breakfast is served, SG. Hope you like it.” He placed the French toast and scrambled eggs on the counter then sat on the neighboring stool. I took a bite of the eggs and chewed. They tasted… abnormal.
“Good eggs, but different. What kind of eggs are these?” I asked.
“It’s actually scrambled tofu,” Dan said. “I’ve been trying to avoid animal derived sustenance. I used almond milk for the French toast.” Dan said.
“Hmmm,” I smiled as I chewed. My perplexing demon/surfer/reggae music loving vegan was eating the tofu equivalent of a dozen eggs and six slices of french toast.
“That’s very… sweet,” I said. “Such pure values, for some things.”
“What, you mean for an evil demon?” Dan said with a wink. I shrugged.
“So, Aunt Mer is a demon, too. Why didn’t she like you when we first met?” I asked, remembering how homicidal Meredith had been towards Dan when he first appeared in my life.
Dan finished his plate. The guy ate like he’d been released from an ill-stocked refugee camp.
“She was… protective of you,” he said, carefully choosing his words. He ran a hand through his hair. “When I realized you were only part human and confronted her about it, she flipped. She said if I told anyone about you, then she would run away with you and go into hiding.”
“So you knew I was part demon when we first met. You knew and you didn’t tell me? You knew that Meredith knew I had demon powers, and neither of you thought about mentioning this minor detail?”
“Chels, I believed your Aunt Mer would take you into hiding. I felt it better if you led as normal a life as possible. As long as I knew where you were, then I could protect you.”
I pondered what he said. “So if Aunt Mer was so protective of me, why did she tell you about me?”
Dan stood and milled about the kitchen, washing pans and wiping the counter. Momentarily distracted from my line of attack, I blinked at my contradictory guardian. He cooked, and he cleaned? If Dan would stop hiding the truth, he’d be the perfect specimen of a man.
I searched his face, but he didn’t meet my eyes.
“Look, Chelsea, there are some things I should tell you. I work for an organization; Meredith worked for them too, once upon a time. An institution created by demons originally, but a few wealthy humans hijacked us. It’s more than an organization in some ways… it’s a major governing body. They ensure the Fallen keep a low profile on Earth. Track our movements and send us our pink slip every decade, telling us to move on so we don’t arouse any suspicion with the humans. We’re required to check in with them periodically, and in turn, they provide us with the one staple we need to survive here on Earth.”
Woah. Demons had their own government? “So the Fallen are required to check in every once in a while? That means they might know where my Dad is if he’s…”
Dan squeezed my hand. “Maybe, but not all of the Fallen choose to abide by the prevailing demon law. There are other ways to survive without going through the Pacem Pomeri.”
I almost spit out my juice when he says this. “You work for the company that secretly runs the entire world and offs people who get in its way?” I shouted.
Dan shook his head with a small smile. “The Pacem Pomeri hardly runs the world. But they do control a vast amount of holdings in several countries. I’m surprised you’ve heard of them.”
Gabe’s conspiracy theory. My head spun. Maybe I should get that app that tracked the Pacem Pomeri like Gabe. “Are you a spy or something? I bet seeing auras comes in handy for those guys?”
“Are you angry?”
“You were sent to spy on me,” I said. I narrowed my eyes. It made sense now, how Dan found me. How he ended up in Omaha at my school as a transfer student.
“What intelligence do you deliver regarding me?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“Five years ago, I told them you couldn’t be the pahana because you were an unregistered Fallen one. Now I’m with you because I care, not because I’m spying.”
“How in the world did they know I was a pahana? I thought the 5th world ritual was part of the Hopi legend…”
“It is, but their’s isn’t the only new-world story. The Pacem have a vested interest in keeping Earth, as we know it, static. And as for how they found you… let’s call it your power surge,” Dan said, pointing to my necklace. I fingered the charm. Standing at the counter, I shook my head.
The amount of information that had been withheld from me for so long floored me. Resentment coursed through my body, heating my blood. Anger at Dan. At Aunt Mer. At my parents.
“Take me home,” I said. Then I realized we flew here. Not in the mood to take flight this early in the morning, nor did I want to encounter flying machine guns, I sighed.
Dan leaned towards me, taking my hand. I smacked it away.
“Never mind, I’ll call and ask Fia to give me a ride.”
“No worries, the Range Rover is here. Had it brought over last night,” Dan said.
“Whose
place is this?” I asked with a frown, remembering the blonde hair in the brush.
“It’s a vacation house for some of us,” Dan said.
His arms wrapped around me, and the scent of the ocean air and citrus fills my nose. I rested my head against his black t-shirt. Why was it impossible to stay mad at him?
Dan started giving me answers, but his bits of truth weren’t enough. They were grossly inadequate, in fact. Dan’s insistence about searching for the dark spots in people rang in my ears. Wasn’t he included in the warning?
I couldn’t even trust my own family. How much had Meredith been keeping from me? My heart ached for my Dede, my grandfather. If he were still alive, he’d tell me something wise to decrease my anxiety. My genius, humble, and very human grandpa. I knew what he would say. Or rather, what his idol, Albert Einstein, would say. “The search for truth is more precious than it’s possession.”
My heart always told me to trust in Dan. But I needed some time to process everything. To sift through the madness, to think about everything. I craved meditation time.
“Okay, I guess I’ve reached the limit of disclosure for today. Let’s go,” I said.
Dan gave me a sympathetic look like he wanted to tell me more. He brought me my missing boot and waited while I pulled it on.
Dan knew that I knew he held something else back. But we both remained silent. He took my hand and intertwined his fingers in mine as we walked outside into the new day.
Chapter Fifteen
One big happy fam
WE DROVE BACK to my place, after a brief stop to Dan’s apartment to get my purse. Forty minutes later, I tucked myself away in the comfort of my apartment. I knocked on Fia’s door and heard a grunt in response.
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