And his grandmother lay dying in a hospital bed. Because of me.
Julia glared at me from the seat next to him. Our fragile truce crushed. Despite Kale’s assurances to the contrary, I knew Julia blamed me for what happened. Kale hurt because of me, so I would always be Julia’s enemy.
The rest of Poli’s family- Kale’s brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews, spoke in hushed voices and didn’t notice my staring.
I turned around to pace again when someone cleared his throat. Dr. Stephen Yoweri stood in the doorway of the inpatient ward.
“Kale. I’m so sorry, but your grandmother has passed.”
They spoke for a few more minutes, but I didn’t hear any more words. Tears streamed down my face, but I mustered up the courage and walked to where Kale stood.
“I’m so sorry Kale.”
I gasped as Kale’s arms wrapped around my shoulders.
“It’s not your fault,” he whispered, but I heard a sob escape him.
I returned the embrace. “Yes, it is.”
Lifting his spirits in my way, I concentrated on his aura, and his arms tensed. But he didn’t protest. Afterward, a pressure in my head built to a small headache. A minor punishment compared with the wrong I committed.
“You should come to the Niman ceremony. It’s tomorrow,” he said, sniffling. “She would want you to be there.”
I shook my head. How could he invite me to a sacred ceremony after what I did? Outsiders rarely received invitations to attend most ceremonies, especially in Kale’s village. No way could I show my face in his village, when everyone would know I killed one of their elders.
“I can’t,” I said.
He whispered in my ear. “It’s not your fault, Chelsea. Don’t blame yourself for her death. She lived a long life, and she fulfilled the destiny of my family. She found you.”
I sniffled and realized I would be sobbing soon.
“I have to go,” I mumbled. Turning from Kale, from the shame, I rushed out of the hospital.
Chapter Twenty-Four
On your side
WHEN I REACHED the apartment on the compound, Fia slept on the couch. Two glasses of white wine sat on the coffee table, both untouched. A snorting sound made me jump. Fia’s wake up snore.
“Hey,” she said, stretching her arms above her head. Seeing her waiting up for me made my throat tighten. It was compassion I didn’t deserve.
“Hey,” I said. Not wanting to be rude, I sat in front of the coffee table across from Fia, cross-legged on the floor.
“I talked to Gabe,” she said and joined me on the floor. She pushed the glass of wine towards me. Her green eyes wide, filled with uncertainty.
The wine sloshed in the glass, and I stared at the drink. Citrus and oak filled my nose. The smell made my stomach churn with guilt. I didn’t deserve to numb any of my pain. Kale’s grandmother died, at my hand.
Fia picked at the rug loops. I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing. We sat unmoving for several minutes.
“Chelsea?”
“Yeah?”
“Know what my mother’s favorite song was? At least, according to my Dad?”
I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. “What’s that?”
“‘Wind of Change,'” she said, laughing. “Super cheesy, right?”
My jaw tightened at the reference, as I recalled the lyrics of the ballad. Fia sang a few lines of the song, a half smile on her face. Halfway through, tears streamed down my face. She stopped singing crawled over to my spot on the carpet. She wrapped an arm around me.
“I know Seema’s supposed to be a magnificent singer and all, but come on. Am I that bad?”
I shook my head between sniffles. She hugged me close. Later, before we retired to our separate rooms, I squeezed her hand.
“Thanks, Fi,” I said.
“Nothing to thank me for,” she said, squeezing my shoulder. “That’s what friends are for.”
“Good night.”
“Night.”
The next morning, Gabe told us through the apartment door we could stay on the hospital grounds and study that day. Later I would learn, Carmen wanted me to return home to recuperate, but I ignored everyone’s phone calls. After ignoring the knocks on the door, Gabe gave up on attempting to draw me out to study or work on any projects. Fia probably could be heard way up on the mesas when she yelled at him through the door for not having any common sense.
When she stormed outside to ask him why he kept bothering us, Gabe turned red and walked away with shoulders slumped. Fia bit her lip when she walked inside again, like she felt bad. In any case, they both left me to my own devices for the day. Gabe played the dutiful student and worked on projects in the computer lab, while Fia did a shift in the emergency department.
I spent most of the day memorizing the patterns of my water stained ceiling. I stared aimlessly at the brown and white swirls of the drywall above my bed. Stains on the apartment. Like the stains of my life, a handyman could cover them, but they’d never disappear, not unless the whole place was demolished.
Wednesday morning, I dragged myself out of bed. Fia forced me to eat a bowl of oatmeal. It tasted like sand, not helped by Fia’s inability to add the proper amount of milk.
Alerts to text messages and voice mails roused me long enough to see messages from both Kale and Dan. I turned my phone off, not yet inclined to face reality. After pulling on a pair of blue scrubs, I followed Fia and Gabe to several patient home visits. They took charge while I floated around like an oxygen free radical. I was present, but nobody noticed.
Finally, Wednesday afternoon, we drove back to Flagstaff.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Bridge
“CHE, LISTEN, I’M not okay with this anymore,” an accented voice dripping with southern sweetness, yet lined with steel resolve. “It’s been three days. You need to get your ass out of bed now.”
I covered my face with a pillow. The soft, downy texture against my face shielding me from time and from my roommate.
“Chel-ster, we’ve got a vaccination fair today,” Gabe said through my bedroom door, his voice instilled with cheerfulness. “You are going to be such an asset there. Imagine what relief you can bring to a whiney three year old- oww!”
From his grunt, Fia probably elbowed him. I groaned. The children's vaccination clinic was today. The county staff depended on volunteers, students like us. I glanced at the clock.
“Ok, give me twenty minutes,” I said. I didn’t recognize my voice, which sounded like car tires driving over wet gravel on a country road.
“Honey, we’ll give you an hour. Please, don’t rush,” Fia said.
“Ok, ok.”
“Take a nice shower, okay? You’ll feel better.” Footsteps signaled their retreat from my bedroom door.
Her repeated request to fix my hygiene made me sniff around. Stuffy air and days old clothes filled my nose.
I sighed, then turned on my side and stared through the open blinds of my patio door. The sun shined, filtering through the mature pine trees outside. There was not a cloud in the sky to match my mood, just bright and cheery rays, the day chipper with anticipation. For a moment, I wondered if Poli’s funeral had been held yet, and how Kale was holding up.
A shadow blocked the rays of sunshine. I sighed. Time to get reacquainted with reality.
The balcony door slid open. “You didn’t answer your phone.”
“I turned it off.”
“I spoke with Kale.”
At the mention of his name, the numbness melted away, and my tear ducts reopened. I buried my face in my pillow, focusing on the dampness from my tears and not the pain in my chest.
“Chelsea, he knows it’s not your fault. It’s hurting him that you’re blaming yourself,” Dan whispered, close to my ear. His arms wrapped around me as his body spooned next to my own. Not even my un-showered body odor could keep him away.
“Kale spoke to Poli,” Dan whispered to me. I tensed in his embrace. �
�Kale has abilities when he dreams. It’s quite remarkable. He’s a human, but he has some abilities like the Cihaz.”
Jee-haz? It sounded like a Mexican version of yee-haw. Where did the angels come up with these words?
“What does that mean?”
“An ability that some demons have. Kale can apparate. He travels to other dimensions, only in his sleep. It’s a power some demons, some angels, possess. It appears Kale’s gift followed him through his spiritual cycle. He can visit Heaven,” Dan whispered with what sounded like reverence and envy. “Right after she died, he spoke with Poli.”
He waited for me to grasp what he said. “You mean he can travel where demons are forbidden to go- back to Heaven?” I said.
“Yes, but he’s human. His ability only works in his dreams. But I wonder if his spirit can do this as a human…”
“What did he say?”
“He told me you should never touch the ritual rock again,” Dan said, and I could feel a small smile in his voice. I turned in his arms to face him and shook my head.
“Super not funny,” I said. His eyes crinkled with sympathy. He stared at a lock of my hair as he twirled it in his fingers. Although it was greasy, I couldn’t protest.
“So there’s Ikna’s, like me, who can use persuasion on auras. Vahiy’s like you, who can see auras, and Cihaz, who can travel to different dimensions. Any more super-power demon vocab that I should know about?”
Dan chuckled. “That’s enough for now. Kale also mentioned the pahana was expected to be human, who would have to work with an angel of Heaven.”
I snorted. “Sounds great, let’s get an angel to cooperate with me, the demon-mutant.”
Dan trailed his finger down my face. The intimate touch made me lean in. Comfort I didn’t deserve, but I couldn’t help myself.
“But… maybe you will be able to perform the ritual, as intended. Kale thinks if the pahana acted as a bridge, the ritual would work even better. A pahana who was both demon and human, working with demon and angel, to bring about the fifth world.”
I shrugged. “Well, that’s impossible. All we have is a mutant human-demon and a demon. No angel.”
“Well, we’ve got Kale, he’s a human. And know Poli is an angel,” Dan said, resting his head on my own.
I thought about this for a moment I could be a bridge between the humans and the demons, helping the humans cross to the new world.
“I can’t go to either dimension, can I? If the demons stay here, and the humans go to the new world…where does that leave me?”
Dan’s eyelashes brushed my forehead as they closed. Their feather light touch brought goose bumps to my flesh.
“Maybe you can decide where to-“
“There’d be no decision, Dan. You and I both know this. If the humans go one way, and the demons stay behind, there’s probably not going to be a lot of gray area for a mixture of the two. Either I die if I stay, or I die trying to go somewhere else. It doesn’t matter; either way, I’m going to die, aren’t I?” The question slipped from my tongue, but it was rhetorical. The demons would want to figure out how to procreate, and I would be their perfect specimen. Stuck in this world, with them.
Would different factions of demons fight over me? Would I survive if they did?
What right did I have to be so selfish? Why did I have to be the lucky one, like Poli said? The damned necklace should have messed with another grain of sand.
“You can’t know that, Chelsea. Who are you to understand the mechanisms of the universes?” Dan pulled me to a sitting position on the bed.
“You aren’t omniscient. Who knows what the future has in store.”
“I know there’s a magnificent transformation on the horizon, the kind that shakes canyons out of flat earth, that creates spaces out of nothing. And you’re the eye of the storm. Where calm centers in the midst of chaos.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence. I should probably take a shower.” Hopping out of bed, I stretched my unused muscles. Shower. Then maybe shave. Saving the world could go on the back burner for the moment, my mind was fried from the heavy thoughts. My personal reality needed to clean itself, and Fia and Gabe needed me.
“So no chance of beach bummin’ it?” Dan watched me, head perched on his elbow.
“I have no idea what I’m doing, Dan. Can I just focus on whether or not to use a deep conditioner today?”
“It’s not about what you do, it’s how you do it,” Dan said. “Whatever you do, aim for magnificence. If you decide to stay here in your room the rest of your life, by all means, bury yourself in hundreds of down pillows and flip-off the world. If you choose to walk out of here and face the world, then show us who’s the boss. Because, in the end, it’s like the old saying. It’s not the destination that counts.”
“Deep conditioning it is,” I finished. “My ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ story sucks. I want a do-over.”
“But if you can’t start over, the next best choice is to finish. With greatness,” Dan said, embracing me.
We held each other for a few minutes. I stepped away from the security of his arms.
“I need to take a shower,” I said, remembering Fia’s reference to my state of hygiene.
“Okay. What are your plans tonight? We need to talk.”
I sighed. “I’m free after five, but-“
“Okay, perfect. I’ll pick you up at seven,” Dan said. His lips touched mine firmly. He kissed with chasteness, yet I felt instilled with strength, flowing from his body. In my time of weakness, his body strengthened me. Our kiss ended, and we gazed into each other’s eyes as his hands grasped mine. His amber eyes a molten mix of gold and brown as they searched my own.
“Your lips always taste so sweet. Even without brushing your teeth for days,” Dan said with a wink, before turning and jumping into the air. I watched his powerful black wings soar into the sky. He didn’t look back to notice my blush. His scent washed my room in ocean breeze and spice, a further reminder I needed to shower.
“Che, you ready yet?” called Gabe through my bedroom door.
“I’ll be right out,” I said.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Date with destiny
AFTER TWO HUNDRED vaccinations and dozens of sets of fright-filled eyes, Gabe, Fia and I made a pact never to torture small children again. My persuasion ability had backfired. It turned out children held more psychic awareness than adults. The few kids I tried to reach out and calm screamed at their mother’s to get the monster away from them. Of course, everyone thought the needles frightened the kids, but when I stopped trying to alleviate the needle stings metaphysically, they acted less fearful. In any case, it took a special kind of person to vaccinate a child, to protect them from preventable diseases. Not my kind of specialty.
Gabe drove Fia and me to the apartment. He jumped out of his Honda to open Fia’s door, who sat in the backseat. She raised her eyebrows and muttered thanks, before hurrying through the apartment entrance. Gabe’s dark brown eyes watched her with longing, and I cleared my throat.
“Thanks for dragging me out of bed today,” I said, smiling. Gabe’s crush on Fia was as obvious as it was senseless. Fia would hurt him bad if she ever acknowledged him in a romantic way. Gabe wanted a hand-holding, candle-lit dining, snuggle-love type of relationship. I could see it in his eyes. But Fia needed to learn to love herself before she could love someone else.
Gabe tore his eyes from Fia’s retreating figure. He gave me a small smile.
“Anything for the big banana,” he said, leaning against his car. “So is it true? We’re going to be in a new world soon?”
I shrugged. “Who knows. The idea is so surreal still. How are billions of people going to enter a new world? And why are you so chill with this?”
Gabe winked at me. “I’m Chinese. My people are trying to take over the world, remember? Gotta know our obstacles.”
I tilted my head, gauging Gabe’s aura. It felt bubbly and hopeful. Not a malevolent vibe
in sight.
“You’re not…”
“It’s a joke! You used your aura-feeley vibes to figure that out?”
We laughed. “How can you tell when I do?”
“Your eyes get a little swirly. Like a brown and green whirlpool. At first, it creeped me out, but not now, since I know you’re a demon, I get it.”
I laughed. “You sure you’re not smoking the reefer, Gabe? You believe in all this and accept it? I don’t get it.”
“No, not on the drugs. I grew up hearing stories about the supernatural. China’s had millennia to hone a good legend, and my mother’s storytelling made her famous in her village. When we moved here, my father and I were her only audience. She’s amazing.”
“That’s wonderful, Gabe.”
“But, mom always said, it’s not in the delivery, it’s in the meaning. People don’t listen to the same stories for centuries on end to the pass the time. Somewhere in our genes, we need to be reminded of what our ancestors learned. And the stories are stemmed from a semblance of truth, ancestral experiences you could say.”
I pushed from my leaning position on Gabe’s car. “I’m beginning to understand. Here’s to hoping I don’t royally screw up again.”
“Hey, when you’ve got friends on your side, you can’t go wrong, Che. Good night.” He gave me a quick hug before getting into the drivers seat.
“Hey, Gabe?”
“Yeah?”
“Give Fia time.”
Gabe’s dark eyes closed, making me shake a mental fist at myself for saying the word. Time was precious at this point.
“We might not have much of that.” Gabe’s words hung in the air, and he gave me a small smile before driving towards the gated exit.
Moonfire Page 25