by Jerry Cole
When Roman was in his early twenties, living in Brisbane and was actually enjoying his life for the first time ever, he used to dream of bumping into Kai again. After all the times he had been picked on, bullied and tormented by the guy, all he had wanted was a chance to show how much he had changed and how little Kai had gotten to him. It had been a pipe dream that was now turning into a reality. Only... it wasn’t.
There was nothing exhilarating or satisfying about seeing Kai, especially in his current state. If anything, it just made Roman sad to see. He had a habit of living in the past and romanticizing things that just didn’t need it. And this was no different. Seeing Kai again after all these years didn’t make Roman feel any better about how he had been treated as a teen. If anything, it just made him look forward to the future.
“I’ll catch you later, Kai.” Roman gave a half wave as he stepped around Kai and headed for the building. For a moment he was worried that Kai was going to shout out or chase him. But no. As soon as he walked past, Kai went back to whatever it was he had been doing, and Roman was forgotten.
If seeing Kai was a shock to the system, seeing his brother again was on a whole other level. Like Kai, Nero had descended down a path of drug fueled misery and alcohol addiction. He barely even remembered who Roman was, and when the memory did come back, he became angry and abusive, blaming Roman for everything that had gone wrong in his life.
“So, what? You came back here to rub it in, did ya?” Nero sat slouched on the floor, glaring at Roman who had remained standing.
“No,” Roman said truthfully. “I don’t know why I came back.” Again, visiting the past had done nothing but remind Roman how good the present, and the future, were.
He said his goodbyes to Nero, who mumbled something about “not coming back,” and left that shoddy apartment knowing that he’d never be back again. He’d also never see his brother again, but that was fine. That was a part of Roman that had died long ago, and for the better.
As Roman exited the building, Kai called out again. “Oi! Not gonna say goodbye – you got any money on ya?”
Roman actually smiled. “Yeah, I do.” He fiddled in his pockets and pulled out a handful of change. “Go nuts,” he said as he handed it to Kai, who took it with delight.
“Nice. I didn’t want to have to beat ya up again.”
“Whatever.” Roman offered a half-nod, even though Kai was no longer paying attention, and then hurried away from Kai, the building and that part of his life. As far as Roman was concerned, he was now completely free of it for good.
It was as he slowly made his way back to the office where James was surely hunched over, hard at work, cursing and carrying on as he was wont to do, that Roman found himself thinking about the one person in Sydney that he would have actually liked to have seen again, if he’d had the gumption to do it. That person, of course, was Bryce Taylor.
That was a name that Roman rarely thought of now... but only because he made himself not do so. It had been five years since the two had last spoken, and although there was no love lost between them, it was a part of Roman’s life that had long since passed. Even when he first came back to Sydney, two years ago, he thought it had been too long to just randomly look him up. Now it almost certainly was.
And yet.... and yet there was still that lingering sensation that Roman felt whenever he thought of Bryce. It was like an old meal that stayed on the tongue days after it was finished with. No matter how many times he washed his mouth out or cleaned his teeth, it wouldn’t go away.
A lot had changed for Roman in those five years. Not only was his career taking off, but he’d been in and out of a serious relationship too. It had gone on for three years, and only ended the previous year when the strain of long distance became too much. Truth be told, Roman wasn’t even sure he was ready for a relationship again... not that he could imagine Bryce ever being open to one.
He’d never seriously considered looking Bryce up again. That would have just been weird, and a little desperate. But Roman’s run in with Kai, and his brief catch-up with his brother, had left Roman feeling nostalgic... and a little saddened. Those were two people from his past that had gone down a path of no return, and although he knew it had nothing to do with him, he still wanted to see at least one person who was better off after having known him.
Roman should have just left the past where it was. But soon he found himself headed in the direction of Bryce’s apartment building. He wasn’t going to speak to Bryce. He was just going to see the outside of the building, as if this might provide for him some sort of closure.
When he reached the building, he decided that he may as well get out and take a look. It’d be good to step inside the lobby, and maybe it would remind him of why seeking out Bryce was a bad idea. Truly, Roman didn’t want to see him.
Butterflies broke out in his gut as he approached the apartment building. They must have just been residual nerves, and surely meant nothing. But if they meant nothing, then why was he suddenly feeling excited... and even checking his breath to make sure it didn’t smell?
This excitement plummeted through the ground when Roman did reach the apartment building and scanned the list of tenant names by the doorbell. Bryce had previously lived in apartment 15C, but the name next to that apartment now read T. Manoel. Bryce Taylor, it seemed, had moved out and moved on.
Roman stood by the entrance for some time, staring at the name T. Manoel as if he expected it to suddenly transform itself into Bryce’s name. When it didn’t, Roman actually felt a little saddened. With Bryce gone, there was no real way to contact him; surely he had a new number now too. Once again, Bryce was officially out of Roman’s life.
But then something strange happened; Roman smiled. And it wasn’t that he was happy about this, or anything like that. Really, it was more a smile at the weight that was now lifted from his back. Bryce had been sitting on it since the day Roman arrived, always there, always nudging and nibbling at him, refusing to let go. Well now he had let go, finally.
Just like with Kai, and just like with his brother, Bryce Taylor was now consigned to the past and the past only. What Roman needed to focus on, the only thing that should concern him, was the future and what that held. There would be more like Bryce, he was sure, some better and a lot worse. But that was fine. That was part of living. And where a future with the real Bryce would have once been his dream, now it seemed like a good thing that it could never be. Sometimes, two people just weren’t meant to be together, despite what the signs may have said.
Now, it was finally time for Roman to stop living in the past and look forward to the future. And what a future it was sure to be.
Chapter Seventeen
If there was one thing Bryce was going to miss about his office, it was the window. Or rather, the windows. There were two of them, running from the roof to the floor, and from wall to wall as they wrapped themselves around the corner of his large office. Seeing as he was on the twenty-fifth floor and located smack-bang in the middle of the city, the view through these two large windows was nothing short of spectacular.
Right now, it was going on sunset, which made for an even more terrific view. Bryce stood by the window, hands folded behind his back, staring out and across the city. And as he did, he reminisced on the window – he'd worked hard enough to get himself one -- the job itself, and how much he was going to miss it all.
“Sir...” the voice was soft, coming from behind the closed door.
“Yes!” Bryce called out without turning around.
The door creaked open and a young woman with mousy brown hair, a plain face, and a subdued nature popped her head in. Her name was Jan and she was his assistant. “They just called and they’re going to be another hour.”
“Fuck.” Still, Bryce didn’t bother turning back to address the young woman. “Did they say what the hold-up was?”
“No, Sir. Just that they needed more time.”
“All right. Fine. Thanks, Jan.” Bryce cont
inued to look out the window, loving the way the orange sun reflected off a nearby brownstone. He had expected to hear the door close behind him, when he didn’t, he spun back to see Jan still hovering in the doorway. “Jan?” She looked nervous, even worried.
“Sir...” she fiddled with her hands and looked at her feet as she spoke. “I was wondering – hoping. Some of the other staff have already left for drinks and... and I thought...” she trailed off, unable to finish the question.
“Really?” Bryce blinked. “What day – oh, right. Friday. Right. Where are the drinks at?”
“Ryan’s Bar.”
“Ryan’s?” Bryce furrowed his brow. “I thought you lot went to Shindigs on Fridays?”
“Oh, no. Not for at least a year.” Jan was still speaking into her chest and looking everywhere but at Bryce.
“A year? Hmmm. I didn’t realize you moved...” Bryce trailed off. Why would he have known that anyway? Why did he even care? It wasn’t like he ever went drinking with these people, or like they ever asked him. “Were you after something, Jan?”
“Oh!” she yelped. “Yes, I... well, you said I could be finished by five today, seeing as it’s a Friday. Well... it’s now nearly six and.... they’re only going to be at the bar another hour and...” She grimaced, as if too worried to finish the question
Bryce smiled. “That’s fine, you can go -- just redirect the line into my office. I’ll take the call when it comes through.”
“Oh... thank you, sir.” Her entire body relaxed and she actually looked at him for the first time. “Thanks.”
“That’s all right. Have a good night, Jan.”
Bryce continued to look out over the city as the sun slowly set. He could hear Jan as she hurriedly shut down her computer, locked her drawers and sprinted from her desk before he changed his mind. Not that he would. There was really no point anymore.
Despite himself, there was a small part of Bryce that was envious of Jan. He was thirty-two years old, was the living embodiment of what the average person deemed as ‘successful’ yet not once in his working life had Bryce gone to, or even been invited to Friday afternoon drinks. Oh, maybe a few times when he had first started out, but you can only say ‘no’ so many times before people stopped asking.
In fact, the way that Jan had just acted around him threw Bryce a little. He had always thought he was a fair boss, one that treated his staff reasonably well. He had after all had the displeasure of working for the boss from hell for most of his career. But how Jan had just behaved suggested that maybe he wasn’t the cool, casual boss he had always just assumed he was.
It was funny too to think that Bryce was now in a position where he had an assistant, and his own office, and a window. He’d had it all for a while now, going on three whole years in fact. Yet it still felt weird to him, almost like he didn’t deserve it. But nothing could be further from the truth. No one had worked harder than Bryce over the past ten years and no-one deserved it more. Bryce just wished he knew what it was all for.
What was even funnier, and Bryce actually allowed for himself to chuckle at the thought, was that after all the hard work he’d put in to getting to where he was, the very top of his career path, that within the hour it would all be gone and he would be out of a job for the first time since he graduated. Even stranger than that, where most people might have looked forward to what Bryce had coming at him, for Bryce, it was terrifying.
Three years ago, Bryce had finally gotten that promotion he had long been after. His previous boss, Fraser Stark, retired and handed the keys of his kingdom over to Bryce. It had been the moment Bryce had been waiting for as long as he could remember...and truthfully, it felt good.
What felt even better was what happened after. Bryce wasn’t content to just sit back and do the “usual.” Rather, he took the firm and elevated it to a new level. Earnings for the company went up by five percent over the next three years, which translated into... well, more money than most people saw in ten lifetimes. Bryce had always known he’d be a good leader and it was truly vindicating for it to be proven.
The ultimate vindication however was what was meant to be happening in an hour, once that phone call came through. Basically, a bigger firm with a heck of a lot more clients, and thus more money to spend, was interested in expanding their company, and they had Bryce’s in their sites. It was a merger of sorts, although Bryce liked to think of it as a liquidation... one that would see him out of a job, but also very, very wealthy as a result of it.
How wealthy was this deal set to make Bryce? Well, if Bryce were to ever have a family, he knew that his great, great, great grandkids would still be living off the earnings.
But before any of that could happen, they needed to call and confirm, and as Jan had just told Bryce, that would be another hour at least.
As the sun slowly set on the horizon, Bryce wandered back to his desk and took a seat. There, the new copy of Forbes magazine sat front and center, with Bryce’s face plastered across it. The title under his picture read “The Next Big Thing,” while the article itself was all about how Bryce was a young, self-made man with the world at his fingertips and infinite potential.
There was still some time until the call was set to come, so Bryce flipped through the magazine, and his article, for the dozenth time. The theme of the article was the future and what it held in store for Bryce. It spoke of new business ventures, money spending, and some much-needed time off. It was a fun little piece to read, but only because it was so devoid of reality.
Really, Bryce had no idea what the future held for him. Sure, he could try his hand at another line of work... or he could retire and spend the rest of his life on a beach somewhere soaking up the sun. But truly, neither of those much appealed to Bryce. He knew he was going to have to do something... he just had no idea what.
As often happened when Bryce went down this path, he found himself becoming anxious. As such, he picked up the TV remote on his desk and switched on the television, located on the wall at the back of his office.
The idea was to relax until the call came through, but no sooner was the television on, than Bryce was sitting upright in his chair, eyes wide as he stared at the TV set. A movie was currently playing on the TV, and it was non-other than Terror-Cation, a movie that was written, directed and produced by Roman Nowak.
Before Bryce could stop himself, he was settled into his office chair and watching Terror-Cation from basically the start to the finish. He had missed the first fifteen minutes, but it was a pretty simple little movie and he was able to pick up on what he missed. And once he had done that too, he really, really got into the film. Never a big movie guy, or horror movie guy for that matter, Bryce couldn’t help but be enthralled. The film was well made, well acted and very professional looking. Really, he just couldn’t believe that Roman had made it... although at the same time, he shouldn’t have been that surprised.
Over the past five years, Bryce had tried not to think about Roman Nowak when he could avoid it. Ordinarily it was easy enough too, as he lived in a different state and hadn’t heard from him once since that day at the airport. But every now and then, Roman would find a way to sneak back into Bryce’s life.
Sometimes it was in a situation similar to this. He’d read Roman’s name in the paper a few times, and even seen him on TV once or twice being interviewed. Every so often he would see someone on the street too that reminded him of Roman, and this would inevitably have him reminiscing on the once-love of his life. And then there were other times, like whenever he ate Vietnamese food, or whenever he saw a happy couple walking down the street. Even on dates, Bryce often found himself briefly thinking about Roman.
It had been five years since the two had last seen one another, so to say that Bryce was still into him would be incorrect. But that didn’t mean he still didn’t have a soft spot for the guy. He was Bryce’s first... for many things, in fact. And as sad as it might have been to say, he hadn’t really met a guy like that since.
/> Five years, three dates and nothing else to speak of. That was Bryce’s dating history. Every time he managed to wrangle a date, he either had to cancel on account of work, managed to make the date but would have to leave early on account of work, or just didn’t enjoy himself... usually because he was too busy thinking about work.
The movie ended before Bryce’s phone rang. It was late in the night now, and Bryce actually considered leaving and doing this whole thing tomorrow. But that just wasn’t his way. So, he stayed put, staring at his phone.
For a moment too, the briefest of moments, he considered maybe giving Roman a call. Why not? He had just watched his movie and surely, he’d like to hear from him? Fuck, they’d probably have a good laugh over the whole thing. And it would be nice to reconnect...
Bryce stared at that phone... should he call Roman? He wanted to. He really, really did. More than he had in a long while. It wouldn’t be weird, or strange or out of place. Surely, it would be fine? He licked his lips and slowly reached for the phone when it suddenly started to ring. And just like that, any chance of calling Roman was gone.
“It’s Bryce Taylor,” Bryce spoke as he answered the phone. “No, no, don’t worry about it. I was just napping,” he joked as they apologized for the late call.
And that was that. Roman was again gone from Bryce’s thoughts as quickly as he had come into them. When he did end up thinking on Roman again, whenever that might be, he would be out of a job for the first time in over ten years. It was a scary thought, but there was definitely an element of excitement to it. Who knew what the future held for Bryce? He certainly didn’t. And fuck, who knew, maybe one day, Bryce would even end up spending it with someone special. Stranger things had happened after all.
Chapter Eighteen
“I don’t see how we can do this?” James sat with his head in his hands, looking about as desperate as he ever had. “I don’t... we just can’t. Simple as that.”