by Olivia Gates
And he was the villain. One of the major causes of her ordeals. Even worse, among her unimaginable sufferings, he’d been the one to cause her the most anguish.
And she had yet to mention what must have caused her the most turmoil.
“What about Mauricio?”
She turned, her eyes eclipsed by terrible memories. But there was no attempt to hide anything in them anymore.
“He’s your son.”
He’d already been certain. Still, hearing her say it was a bullet of shame and regret through the heart.
“I discovered my pregnancy just before Burton suspected I might have exposed his secrets. I would have had to run anyway even if he never did, since he would have considered I betrayed him in a way that mattered even more to him. I gave birth to Mauri four months afterward, almost three months before I was due. For weeks I thought I’d end up losing him or he’d suffer some major defects. It took the better part of a year before I was finally assured there were no ill effects of his being born so premature.”
Their gazes locked over the knowledge of yet another crime on his record. Her emotional and physical distress as she’d escaped a madman’s pursuit while carrying the burden of her whole family, not to mention her grief over losing him, must have caused her premature delivery. And what she’d suffered during and after... His mind almost shut down imagining the enormity of her torment.
“But as I said before, I hadn’t put two and two together at the time. So I named him Ricardo, after you.”
The consecutive blows had already numbed him. This new one gashed him the deepest. But he’d lost the ability to react to the agony, just welcomed suffering it.
“By the time I worked out what you’d done, and I couldn’t bear being reminded of you every time I called him, he was two. It took him a year to get used to being called by his second name, my father’s, and another to forget his first one.”
So she’d cherished remembering him for two years every time she’d called their son, until she’d discovered his exploitation and the treasured memories had turned to bitterness and betrayal.
His eyes lowered, seeing nothing but a scape of roiling darkness where the most extreme forms of self-punishment swirled in his imagination like hideous phantasms.
“Now it’s your turn.”
Raising his gaze to hers, he no longer even considered not giving her the truth. Not only what she’d asked for, but his whole truth. Every single shred of it.
What no one else knew about him.
* * *
Isabella felt as if she’d just turned herself inside out.
But besides nearly collapsing after she’d poured everything inside her out to Richard, she felt...relieved. More. Freed. She’d never shared this with anyone. Even her mother and siblings. She’d protected them from the burden of the full truth. Though her mother suspected a lot, she’d never caused her the injury of validating her suspicions or inflicting the details on her.
Now only Richard knew everything about her.
His only overt reactions had been to bring half the bar over, guzzle down half a bottle, then smash a window fifty feet away. Apart from that, it was as if he’d turned to stone. He’d had no response to finding out Mauri was his.
He raised his gaze to her, his eyes incandescent silver, his face an impassive mask. And she knew he’d keep his word, would tell her his side of the truth. He’d warned it would horrify her. She’d claimed nothing ever could again.
But she’d lied. Her defenses were nonexistent where he was concerned. Anything with or from Richard devastated her. He was the only one who could destroy her.
Then he started.
“My father was in the Special Forces in the British army before he was dishonorably discharged. Bitter and suffering from severe financial problems after many failed investments, he joined a crime syndicate when I was six. He’d trained me in all lethal disciplines since I can remember, and I was so good that he involved me in his work. Not that I realized what we were doing for a couple of years. Then one day five years later, when Rose turned one, his partners came to tell us he’d been killed. Shortly thereafter, one of those partners started coming to our home. Then one day soon after that, my mother told me she and he just got married and the man—Burton—would now live with us.”
Isabella sat forward, poured herself a drink, having no idea what it was. He’d already knocked her over with the disclosure that Rose was family and Burton had been his stepfather, too. She had a feeling she’d need anything to bolster her for the rest of his revelations.
“I knew Burton had killed my father because he wanted my mother. He’d been fixated on her as he had been with you. But because my mother was nowhere in your caliber, he soon began to mistreat her. And I could do nothing about it.
“Like you, I had a home filled with vulnerable targets, and though already a formidable fighter, I wasn’t fully grown. Even if I could have killed him, that would have destroyed my family. I would have been put in a juvenile prison and my mother wouldn’t have been able to carry on without me. So I did as you did. I played the part of the obedient boy who looked up to him, kept him placated every way I could. I tried to curb my younger brother, too, but Robert couldn’t understand why I was being so nice to him. Rose soon took Robert’s side, and it became Burton’s favorite pastime to abuse them verbally, mentally and then, finally, physically. I hid my murderous hatred, channeled the perfect disciple, knowing it was the only thing that kept him in check, that he could easily kill them as he had our father.”
She gulped down the horrible liquid in her glass, her eyes filling. His gaze showed no indication of his thoughts as he continued recounting his atrocious past like a nuance-less automaton.
“When I was around sixteen, Burton started displaying signs of big money. I sucked up to him even more to find out its source, until he said he was now working for a major cartel just called The Organization, who turned abducted or sold children into mercenaries. He said he could make a bundle if he gave them Robert and Rose, that it would serve the two brats right.
“Knowing he’d do just that, I said surely their price would be a one-time thing, but if I became one of their ‘handlers,’ they’d pay me big money continuously, and he could have it all. Burton didn’t like that it seemed I was protecting my siblings when I always said I could barely tolerate them. He also thought it fishy that I’d offer to give him the money I worked for. I allayed his suspicions, saying I considered it a benefit on all sides. I’d get out of the dump we called home, get rid of my clinging family, and get the best on-the-job experience. The money was in return for giving me this opportunity, as I wouldn’t be doing anything with it for years, with all my needs paid for by my new employers.”
Isabella had heard of The Organization many times during her marriage to Burton. The magnitude of evil they perpetrated was mind-numbing. To learn that Richard had volunteered to basically be sold to them to save his siblings, to save Rose, was...too much to contemplate, to bear.
“Buying my rationalization, and knowing how much The Organization would pay for my skill level, Burton jumped on my offer. I knew I’d leave my family behind, but the alternative was incomparably worse. The last time I saw them was the day I left to join The Organization. Robert was ten and Rose was six.
“I intended to amass enough power to one day assassinate Burton untraceably and disappear with my family. But he kept guarding against any counterstrikes. I know I never let my loathing show, but Burton, being the self-preserving parasite that he was, moved my family to places unknown, kept obliquely threatening me with their safety, providing me with evidence they were all well. As long as the monthly flow of cash continued.”
She had the overwhelming urge to throw herself at him and hug the helplessness he must have felt out of him. But Richard wasn’t one for human compassion, giving or receiving it. And if he ever were, she wouldn’t be the one he’d seek that from.
Oblivious to her condition, he went on, cle
arly bent on giving her the whole story in one go, as she had been.
“What made that first year in The Organization survivable was a boy two years younger than myself. They called him Phantom, considered him their star future operative. Then Burton noticed the friendship we thought we’d hidden. He monitored us and overheard Phantom saying he was working on an escape plan. Burton told me if I reported him it would mean a higher place in The Organization at once and more pay. He couldn’t do it, because he’d have to say how he’d found out, and I’d be punished for not reporting my friend’s plans, would be demoted, or worse, when Burton wanted my paycheck to move to the six digits already. He had a lot of investments going. He made it clear it was Phantom...or my family.”
Isabella struggled to hold back the tears. She’d always thought Richard made of steel, that he’d never felt love or fear for others, let alone could be held hostage by those feelings. And for him to have been just that, by the same man who’d caged her in the same way, was too much to contemplate.
“I knew Phantom, being prized, would be punished, tortured, but not killed. My family were nowhere as valuable. And there were three of them. Burton could hurt or even kill one to have me toe the line the rest of my life. So I reported Phantom. I let him think I did it to advance my standing within The Organization so he’d hate me and show it, to further reinforce my coldblooded image, which everything depended on.
“Then I went all out to prove myself to be the absolute best they ever had. I applied my ruthlessness in ways you couldn’t begin to imagine, my body count rivaling all the other operatives put together, until my monthly income was in the eight figures, with most of it going to Burton. I’d hoped to inundate him with far more money than he’d ever dreamed of so he’d let my family go, or at least treat them better until I got them out.
“But my escape and retaliation plans were further complicated when I was put in charge of another child—a boy they called Numbers, who reminded me so much of Robert. I couldn’t leave him or Phantom behind. But I finally gained enough autonomy so I could search for my family. I found them in Scotland...only too late. I pieced together that my mother tried to escape with my siblings. Burton pursued her and she lost control of her car and drove off the side of a mountain.”
Isabella lost the fight, let the tears flow.
Richard didn’t seem to notice as he continued reciting Burton’s unimaginable crimes against him and the ghastly sequence of events of his loss.
“From what I learned, Burton hadn’t bothered to help or to report the accident. He’d just walked away, since they’d already served their purpose. My mother and brother had died on impact. Only Rose had survived. I found her in an orphanage and arranged for her adoption by a kind and financially secure couple who’d been about to immigrate to the United States. I’ve been keeping an eye on her ever since.”
And that, Isabella realized, was how he’d found her again. Even though the paranoid way she’d conducted her relationship with Rose had kept her under his radar that long.
His dark voice interrupted her musings. “I never considered telling Rose I was alive. Then today... I can’t believe she remembered me.” He looked downward, his scowl deepening as if he was reliving those fraught moments. Without raising his face, he raised his eyes, impaling her with his glance. “What did you tell her after I left?”
She swallowed. “Nothing. I pretended I got an urgent call from my mother and ran out.”
He only gave a curt nod. “It’s best for her to remain ignorant of my existence.”
She couldn’t contest his verdict. Rose’s life was the epitome of stability. The last thing she needed was his disruptive influence destroying her peace.
Although...he’d handled her crawling-with-kids-and-chicks household with stunning dexterity...
No. That had been a one-off. He’d sought her out the very next day to tell her he’d stay away from her family. Richard wouldn’t want anyone permanently in his life. Not even his long-lost sister. Certainly not one who came with an extended family life right out of the textbook of normal and adjusted.
Considering he was done with that subject, he resumed his tale. “It was years before I could put my escape plan into action, after I made sure Numbers and Phantom and their team had escaped. I followed them, but as expected, they decided to kill me.”
She gasped, blood draining. Phantom had been under the misconception he’d been his heartless enemy, a threat to their freedom and lives. As she’d been until an hour ago.
“Did you finally tell him the truth?”
He shrugged. “I saw no point.”
“No point?” she exclaimed.
“Yes. I’d done everything they knew me to be guilty of, everything they hated me for. It didn’t matter why I did it.”
“Of course it matters. Knowing why always matters!”
He shook that majestic head of his in pure dismissal. “I don’t believe so. I own my crimes, I don’t excuse them.”
He wouldn’t ever think of asking forgiveness for them, either. “So if you didn’t cite your extenuating circumstances to change their minds, how did you do it?”
“I told them it was in their best interest to back down, since it was them who wouldn’t survive a confrontation.”
A huff of incredulity escaped her. “I bet you weren’t even exaggerating.”
His look was what she expected a god would give a mortal who asked if he could smite him down. “I never exaggerate. They’re formidable warriors, but their genius is in intelligence, applied sciences, medicine and subterfuge. My virtuosity is in termination.”
“You’re no slouch in intelligence and subterfuge yourself,” she mumbled, remembering how he’d totally taken her in. Suddenly a terrible thought crossed her mind. “But since you survived without a scratch, does that mean...?”
An eyebrow arched. “You think I’d spend years planning to help them escape, only to kill them when they got their knickers in a twist?”
She exhaled in relief. “So how did it end with both sides alive, if you didn’t put them straight and antagonized them in the most provocative method you could?”
“I was just stating facts. If they hadn’t been using their macho hindbrains, they would have realized if I was the enemy, they would have all been already dead. Luckily, before I had to drive my point home, Numbers put himself between us and they backed down only for him. I let them continue thinking what they liked. I wasn’t interested in becoming their friend, just in leading them in establishing our joint business.”
“All your partners in Black Castle Enterprises are escapees from The Organization.”
It wasn’t a question but a realization. And it explained everything. Those men were all larger-than-life; they must have been forged in the same hell Richard had been.
He nodded. “Once I made sure they were safe and our plan to dismantle The Organization was in motion, I could finally take my revenge on Burton. You know the rest.”
No. She’d only thought she did.
It turned out she’d known nothing.
Now she did. And the more everything he’d just told her sank in, the more baffled and devastated she was. It did horrify her. But not in the way he’d thought.
He’d thought knowing he’d been the top executioner in such an evil establishment would validate her suspicions about him and...well, horrify her. What agonized her was realizing how much more nightmarish his life had been than hers. And that he’d had the best justification for all he’d done.
In fact, believing her to be Burton’s willing wife, it was a wonder he hadn’t punished her as viciously as he had him. It said a lot about the extent of his desire that it had curbed his killer instincts and stayed his hand.
Not that such desire mattered now. Those earth-shaking disclosures didn’t change a thing.
While he might still want her, everything that had happened to him in the past had made him what he was now. If there was one man on earth who was unavailable for a
nything...human, it was him. That he hadn’t said a thing about Mauri was proof positive of that.
So what she’d come here to tell him stood. She couldn’t afford to have him in her life.
No matter that she craved him like a drug.
Her priority remained Mauri.
Inhaling a breath that burned like tear gas, she rose to her feet. He remained sitting, not even looking at her.
She waited until he looked up. “It’s great we got things out in the open. But now you know my real history, you know I am not a danger to Rose, either myself or by association. Now we can go our separate ways, never to cross paths again.”
Before he could say anything, she turned and rushed away.
It turned out she didn’t have to worry. He just brooded after her in silence.
Once at the door, she remembered he had to open it for her. Before she could walk back to ask him to, the door opened. She hurried out, relieved, demolished.
This was it. It was over for good this time.
She’d never see Richard again.
Eight
When Rose entered her office the next morning, Isabella wasn’t a mute, paralyzed mass like yesterday. She was a hopeless, miserable one.
She still struggled to smile as she received her treasured friend and colleague. Rose returned her kiss on the cheek before she pulled back, her blue-gray eyes filled with suppressed questions. She must be bursting to have her suspicion about Richard validated.
“Everything okay at home?”
In spite of the concern lacing the question, and the text message she’d sent her last night, Isabella believed Rose hadn’t bought her excuse for running out yesterday one bit.
But Rose always made it clear that she was there for anything Isabella needed, and left it up to her to reveal any problems or worries. Isabella had never told her anything. Until now.
After she’d held it all in all these years, now that her family and those she’d struggled to help were safe, she could allow herself to consider her own needs. And now that the one she’d shared her innermost turmoil with had exited her life forever, she needed another confidante. Someone who wouldn’t only listen in silence, offering not a word of sympathy or support, as Richard had. The only one who fit the bill was Rose.