by Talia Vance
A silver thread of light moves through the fog, breaking up the gray. It inches toward us.
“I have to go.” His words are resigned.
The light moves closer. It brushes my arm, then wraps itself around my wrist, pulling me. I fight against it, not wanting to let go. Not yet.
He lifts my hands from his shoulders. “Remember your promise to me.”
He once asked me to stay alive, no matter what. “I never said I would do it.”
“You have your whole life ahead of you.”
“So do you.”
“You know that’s not true.”
The silver thread tightens. I grab Austin’s hand.
He brings my hand to his lips. His voice in my head is warm and melodic. “I would die a thousand deaths for the life I had with you.”
I cry out as he lets go of my hand and his shadowy form retreats, floating backwards until he disappears into the haze.
I’m pulled in the other direction, along a trail of silver light. But when I close my eyes, all I see is gold.
FIFTY-SIX
Blake kneels over me, his hands pressed against my rib cage. Even with all the silver light that surrounds him, I can see the shadows that line his face. His lips are fixed in a hard line. “She’s awake,” he says.
Awake? As if I had been sleeping. Dreaming. As if none of this is real.
I sit up too fast, sending a rush of oxygen to my head. Austin lies next to me. No one needs to tell me he won’t be waking up. He lies on his stomach, his arm still draped across my waist. Liam’s blood puddles around us.
I reach for my sword, but Blake’s hand stops me. “It’s over.” As if to demonstrate the point, he vanishes and reappears in street clothes. The other Sons follow suit. All but Micah, who sits hunched over Jeremy’s body in the matching plaid his brother wears.
“What about Liam?” I look around the rocks frantically, but I don’t see him anywhere.
“They took him. After he killed—” Blake looks at the ground.
“They?”
“The dogs we saw that night?”
“Arawn’s hounds.” Three giant wolfhounds that guard the river. As the god of the underworld, Liam’s ability to come and go was limited. Killing a mortal was an offense with a hefty price. “Liam was banished, right?” He killed a mortal. I try not to think about what that means, even though I already know the answer. “I think it was more than that.” Blake’s cheek twitches.
“I don’t understand.”
Blake lifts his head, and his face is paler than normal. “The dogs didn’t just herd him to the river. They took him. In pieces.”
“What?” Liam is a god. An immortal. But the hounds are creatures of the underworld too. And Arawn had been their master.
Blake looks from me to where Austin’s body lays. “I’m sorry.”
I look around the bluff, anywhere but at Austin. Portia sits huddled on a rock, her face in her hands, shaking. Sherri’s neck is bent at an unnatural angle where she lays slumped over a boulder, in a pool of hero own blood.
Levi limps, but he manages to help Jonah lift Rush’s body and take him to the side of the canyon. They say a few words I can’t hear and then throw him into the water below. Portia screams.
Micah sits on the ground with Jeremy’s head cradled in his lap. As Levi and Jonah approach, he leans forward, shielding Jeremy’s face with his chest. “You’re not taking him.”
“It’s already done,” Levi says. “He’s on the path to Avalon whether the river takes him or not.”
“No!” Micah’s cheeks are wet with tears. “Jeremy doesn’t even believe in the war. He can’t die this way.”
I push myself off the ground, forcing myself to my feet. My shoulders hurt. My heart hurts. Everything hurts. I try not to look at Austin as I step over him. I focus on Micah.
I place a hand on Micah’s arm, ignoring the stickiness where my bloody fingers touch his skin, careful not to touch the swath of plaid across his shoulder that matches the one Jeremy wears. I know words are meaningless now, so I say nothing. I just take him in my arms and hold on.
He cries, and I wish I could cry with him, not just for Jeremy, not just for Austin. For Rush. For Sherri. For the Sons and Seventh Daughters who have fought and died and killed for the last thousand years. But I can’t afford tears. We are far from out of this.
Finally, when he is too exhausted to cry anymore, I let go. “He didn’t die for nothing.” I don’t know if I mean Jeremy or Austin. “He ended a war.”
I feel the eyes of the Sons on me. All of them. Blake tilts his head. It dawns on me that I have no idea what he’s thinking, but I’m not trying to feel him anymore. It takes all my effort to keep from feeling the emotions that hover near the edge of my own composure, waiting to pull me under and drag me into darkness.
I turn my attention to Portia. She lifts her head to watch me, eyes wary.
I weigh my words carefully. “The gods can’t cross over without the gateway, and the gateway won’t be opened for another thousand years.” I think about what Blake said about Liam. “Maybe more.” I put my hand on Portia’s shoulder. “The last remaining Seventh Daughter is right here. But she’s more than just a descendant of Danu. She’s the daughter of a Son. She chose not to fight against her family. Not to kill the Son she bonded to her.”
“The last?” Jonah moves toward me, a sick smile on his lips. “Aren’t you forgetting someone?” He lunges forward, but Micah is on his feet with his sword raised, preventing Jonah from getting closer. “I haven’t forgotten. But I’m no threat. As I said, the gods can’t be released with the gateway sealed. And my powers were lost when I broke the bond with Blake.”
“Is this true?” Levi looks to Blake for confirmation.
“More or less,” Blake says.
“Which is it?” Equivocation won’t work with Levi.
“She can’t access her power,” Blake says.
Dr. McKay nods. “We saw as much at the pub, and again tonight.” He looks at Portia. “But she came here to fight.”
Portia glances over her shoulder at the ravine where her father’s body was dropped into the river. She buries her head in her knees and starts crying again.
The sun drops the rest of the way behind the rocks, casting us in shadows. Only the glow from Micah keeps us from descending completely into darkness.
“Tell them,” I whisper, but Portia doesn’t acknowledge me. I square my shoulders. “She was called here like the rest of you. She couldn’t stay away. She tried to. That’s why she was late.”
Portia lifts her head and stares.
“She didn’t attack anyone,” I continue. “She’s one of you.”
“God help us then.” Jonah smirks.
Portia picks up a rock and throws it at Jonah’s feet. He steps out of the way easily, but Levi laughs. Dr. McKay smiles. Just like that, the tension is broken. Dr. McKay and Levi turn away from Portia and me, and walk to where Jeremy lies on the ground.
Micah holds up a hand. “I’ll do it.” Micah sets down his sword, and brushes a long strand of hair away from Jeremy’s face. He lifts his brother’s shoulders off the ground. Dr. McKay comes around to takes Jeremy’s feet, but one look from Micah is all it takes to wave him off. Micah hugs Jeremy’s back to his chest and drags Jeremy to the ravine on his own. Once there, he hesitates. He leans forward, kissing his brother’s cheek. And then he lets go with a shrill scream that echoes through the ravine.
A howl responds in the distance.
The dogs. “The hounds will be back,” I say. “We need to get out of here.”
Blake takes a step in my direction.
“Don’t.” Portia’s voice is so quiet I’m not sure I heard it.
I turn away from them, too fast, catching Austin out of the corner of my eye. I know he’s already moved on, that this body is not him. Not anymore. Still, I’m not as strong as Micah. I don’t go to him.
I stare at the ground when Levi motions for Dr. McKay to he
lp him move Austin’s body to the ledge. I close my eyes tight when they push him over. I don’t even hear the splash when his body hits the river, indistinguishable as it is from the sound of the water rushing below.
I walk in the opposite direction, to the crack in the cliff wall that should lead back out to the beach. There’s nothing but solid rock. It will not be as simple as walking out of here.
The howls get louder. Closer.
Micah walks up behind me. “So that’s it? We’re all going to die in here anyway?”
I run my hand along the wall looking for any opening even though I know I won’t find one. “There’s another way out.”
Dr. McKay looks around the vast wasteland. There’s nothing but rocks and cliffs, and water and waterfalls. Nothing alive but us.
A growl echoes in the wind. Us and a trio of very angry hellhounds.
“We don’t have much time.” I make my way to the edge of the ravine. I take a breath, afraid to look down. I know there won’t be anything down there but water. The current should’ve dragged Austin halfway to the underworld by now. I force myself to look. Just water. Water and giant boulders I don’t remember seeing before. The water is at least fifty feet below where I stand. Jagged rocks line the walls of the ravine, like teeth ready to rip and tear me up on the way down.
The last time I did this it was easy. It wasn’t by choice. Austin pushed me. Plus, the water had been rising then, so the fall was only half as far. Still, I remember the way the water grabbed and spun me, nearly choking me as it spat me to the beach. And that was in the comparatively calm surf at Del Mar. This coastline is far less forgiving to a human body.
Austin isn’t here to push me now. He isn’t here to get me out of the currents at the beach. Why was it so important to keep me alive then? So someone will be here to mourn for him?
I look over my shoulder at the five remaining Sons and Portia. “The river will dump you into the ocean on the other side. As soon as you hit the waves look for the beach. You’ll have a better chance if you can dematerialize out and get to the shore.”
I’m just going to have to take my chances.
The howls turn to barking as the three dogs lumber around a boulder. We’re out of time. I back up a few steps, then run as fast as I can to the edge of the ravine and jump.
FIFTY-SEVEN
I close my eyes as I fall, concentrating on leading with my feet. The air rushes by so quickly that the sky feels like a part of me again. My stomach floats into my throat, but I force myself to breathe, sucking in the oxygen I’ll need once I’m underwater.
My left foot hits the water first, slapping against it with enough force that I’m thrown to my side. The impact on my hip is hard, but the shock of the cold water as I plunge downward is worse. I have to fight to keep from opening my mouth to scream. It’s several seconds before I feel the current move around me. It pushes me and drags me deeper, spinning me around until I’m no longer certain which way is up. I resist the urge to kick. I could just as easily be kicking myself deeper instead of moving to the surface.
My lungs start to protest, searching for their next hit of oxygen. A rock appears out of nowhere. My knee slams against it. My mouth opens before I can stop it. Water rushes in. I close my mouth, but it’s too late, the water pushes down my throat. I can’t stop the cough, which only causes more water to come in.
My body fights to breathe. To live. But all I can do is panic.
I reach out and my hand finds something soft. Not rock. I can’t make out anything more than the color white in the blue darkness, but I grab hold of a handful of coarse white hair, and cling to it with all the strength I have left.
One.
Two.
Another cough bubbles up in my lungs. I fight it even as water starts to fill my lungs.
Then I break the surface. I open my mouth and cough. Water comes out even faster than it went in, in one massive retch. I gulp the air, taking it in in giant watery breaths as a weight below me keeps my head above water.
I collapse on the beach, lying on my stomach in the sand. When I’m convinced I am going to keep breathing, I push myself up on my elbows.
Braden kneels beside me, his hand tapping between my shoulder blades. “That was a dangerous stunt, even for you.”
“You are such a smart ass.” Another coughing fit keeps me from thanking him. I don’t need to tell him what I’m feeling. He already knows.
“Who’s winning?” He gets right to the point.
I turn over onto my back, sitting up to face him. “I should’ve known you didn’t save me out of the goodness of your heart.”
“What can I say?” Braden grins. “I’m a multi-tasker.”
There’s a silver light on the beach behind us. Blake lands in a heap on shore. He kneels in the sand, retching until all he takes in is the cold night air.
“I guess that answers my question.” Braden raises his eyebrows. He holds out his hand, like he wants to shake. I place my palm in his. He presses something into my hand. “If anyone asks, you didn’t get this from me.” Then Braden turns and leaps into the water, disappearing into the waves.
“Who was that?” Blake’s hands are buried in the sand, his arms bracing himself as he recovers from the near drowning.
“A friend,” I say. Braden risked enough by coming here. I don’t feel guilty for keeping his secrets. I have my own. I keep my fist closed tight, but I know exactly what Braden gave me. I can already feel the ocean water flowing in my veins. My body is no longer fighting it, but embracing it, calling to it. “Where are the others?”
“They thought you were crazy.” Blake pushes himself into a sitting position.
“Didn’t you?” I ask.
“No.” Blake shakes water and sand out of his hair. When he glances at me, I see a hint of the old Blake, a dimple, appear on his cheek. “I always knew you were.”
A scream breaks through the darkness. Then it’s gone, swallowed by the waves.
Blake is on his feet and running back into the water. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m calling the water, feeling it, pulling it. The silence is the first thing that tells me that it’s working. The waves no longer crash against the rocks. They no longer crash against the beach. The water is smooth. Calm. Like a lake with giant rock islands.
Jonah breaks the surface.
My enemy. My enemies are out there. The people who ostracized me, who wanted me dead. I could turn around, walk back up the hill, and leave them to fight the ocean and the rocks as the tide comes in. Some may survive. Some may not. But none of it, none, would be my fault.
Or I could end it all. Make the current stronger, the waves more powerful as they bash against the rocks. Prevent the Sons from ever catching sight of the shore.
The thought scares me so much I drop the silver wolfsbane charm onto the beach. The waves start to churn again just as Blake reaches Micah, who struggles against the current. I drop to my knees. I run my hands along the rocky shore, becoming increasingly or frantic as I hear the yells from the water.
My fingers close around a rock, then another. No. I have to find it. I won’t let them die. At last, I grasp cold silver. I hold the charm tight and stop the waves once more.
Three, four, five heads pop out of the water. All the Sons. No Portia. Blake pulls Micah the rest of the way to shore. Jonah and Levi follow. Dr. McKay comes in next.
Still no Portia.
“Where is she?” I ask Blake, as he helps Micah lay on the beach.
Blake shakes his head. “I guess she didn’t want to jump.”
“She has to jump. The dogs—”
Blake looks back out at the ocean. It’s eerie in its calmness. “I still feel her.”
Then, as if he’s called her to him, Portia’s head bursts though the water. Blake dives back in, while I keep the waves at bay.
And I wonder, not for the first time, if I’m doing the right thing.
FIFTY-EIGHT
The three giolla still stand at the
top of the trail. Joe nods at me, a hint of a smile on his lips. I want to hit him. People are dead. Jeremy.
Austin. If Joe cared so much about ending the war, he should’ve ended it himself.
I march up to tell him as much, but Mick steps forward, searching my face. I shake my head, answering the unspoken question that passes between us. Mick’s face crumbles. He falls to his knees, and I kneel beside him. He hugs me to him, ignoring the sand and the water and blood that still clings to my hair. By the time he lets go, everyone else has moved up the trail, leaving us to mourn in peace.
We sit and stare at the ocean for hours, holding hands as we watch the moon fall across the sky.
“I don’t know how much more of this I can take.” Mick finally breaks he silence, just as the sky turns from black to a dusty gray that beckons the sun.
I just nod. There is nothing left to say.
“He wasn’t supposed to die,” Mick says.
It’s my fault. Austin was mortal because of me. “What will you do?”
“I don’t know. You?”
I turn the wolfsbane charm over in my hand. “I don’t know either.”
Neither one of us moves until the sun breaks through the darkness. In the gray minutes between night and day, I watch the waves build and crash against the rocks, destroying them one tiny pebble at a time. The rocks stand strong, oblivious to the tiny cuts that will be their undoing.
I stand and walk to the edge of the bluff. Wind blows through my damp clothes. I push it away without thought, letting fire fill my veins, warming me from the inside. Blue flame arcs between my fingers, dances along my skin. I let it grow, let the fire burn until I don’t think I can stand to hold it in another second.
But I do. I hold on to it until I can’t see anything but blue spots, until I can’t feel anything but fire. I let the heat consume me until I pass out. I let it carry me to Avalon. The field appears before me in sunny splendor, flowers swaying on a light breeze. The field is empty, but I am undeterred. I walk toward a stone wall in the distance.